Date: 16 May 2010 8:10 AM Title: Chapter 3
Okay, the story, plot wise, is okay so far. However, it's pretty painful to read. There are many grammatical and spelling mistakes that it makes things a bit confusing. My advice is to get a beta. Also, you said in the last chapter that they left around 1am but in this chapter, you have Bella lying awake for an hour and a half and it's only midnight. I was confused about that too.
Other than that, pretty good story that has potential
Date: 25 Apr 2010 7:42 PM Title: Epilogue
that was a good story i liked it i understand how he was at first it can be a shock for some men and edward took it pretty good
Date: 25 Mar 2010 9:24 AM Title: Epilogue
Lol...love the ending
Date: 21 Mar 2010 8:11 PM Title: Epilogue
Awww wow that is soo cute. Love this story so so much, it's a shame it's finished!
Author's Response:
thank you im glad u like it i was thinking about write a second part but i dont think i will i have a jasper andbeel story in mind but not sure if im going to do it my grammer sucks and it makes it hard for people to read but thank you for ur review and i glad u liked it
Date: 12 Mar 2010 6:36 AM Title: Chapter 13
Pretty dresses and masks
Date: 07 Mar 2010 1:34 PM Title: Chapter 3
please update more soon, it's getting really interesting.