+No Holds Barred+

I've been sitting in this parking lot for nearly an hour. It's about half of a mile away from Bean's apartment. My teeth grind. I need to stop calling her that. She played it off as a nickname, but to Jasper it means something. He's serious about her. That's the only reason I agreed to stick around and babysit her while he's off doing his shit in Berkeley.

I tried to convince him she would be a complication. We've tried this before. It never worked. There's too many cooks, and some of these Laguna bitches were out of their damn mind. That's why when he told me about his Bean, I wanted to distance myself from it. If he wanted the girl, good luck to him, but I wasn't going to have anything to do with it. He'll only find himself bored, fucked over by her when she bolts, or in jail.

Isabella is Charlie Swan's little girl. He's not a guy you wanted to mess with. I know he's changed a bit since he's dealt with me in Juvie and far more docile, but a father is a father, no matter how stoned or lost he may be. Jasper's poking around and fucking with the Chief's seventeen year old daughter. I'm not a man of many morals, but there's lines you don't cross.

"Just hang out with her while I'm gone," Jasper had said. He made it sound like a duty to keep her safe. He'd mentioned her hanging out with Alice Branden and running in her circles. I fucking hated this town because of that family. "And keep her out of trouble."

I didn't know it at the time, but he was setting me up. He knew. The girl's different. She's underage, but has already grown into a woman. She's taller than most girls here, and had long, elegant legs. Jasper told me she used to be a ballerina, but now she surfed. I could see it by her muscle tone. That's what attracted me to her that night at the party. I didn't even know who she was when I'd stumbled across her passed out in the Whitlock library. Some fucking douche was putting his hands all over her. What kind of piece of shit does that to a girl who's unconscious? He's fucking lucky I didn't kill him. My knife was out and I would've slit his damn throat from ear to ear, but she'd hummed in her sleep. I resorted to busting him in his jaw and throwing his ass out of the room.

I couldn't leave her alone after that. She needed to be protected. I felt responsible for her then.

When I found out she was Jasper's Bean, I couldn't believe how I'd missed it. She's exactly how he described her: beautiful, quirky, and sincere. That's what I noticed most when looking into her eyes. No judgment. Especially with my scars. Which was fucking nice. I'd spent most of my life failing to meet people's expectations, but what's worse than their disappointment was their pity.

Yeah, I've seen some shit, and still wake up in a cold sweat, not knowing where I am, but terrified. The paranoia is what gets me. I can't look at people and not think they want to kill me. Then there's that urge to act out on the aggression, or it festers and festers, until you want to fucking blow your own brains out. Anything to stop the racing thoughts.

It's a life you can't escape.

War takes everything you are and destroys it. You're nothing more than fragments of shrapnel.

Jasper's Bean numbs that. I don't have to pretend I'm not fucked up or even happy. When I kissed her that night, I lost control, but it was like she was that bullet. Everything went away. The pain and anger and hate...God, the hate I feel...all of it vanished, like being killed. A peaceful silence. The only thing I did feel was her soft, unbelievably soft, lips and sweet taste of her tongue.

It was a bliss only Jasper had given me, but even he didn't know how to pull me back.

I think we both knew that night.

Bean was a risk I didn't think we could take. There were complications with her father being retired DEA, and a frequent customer, but she was young. I didn't believe she understood what she would be getting herself into. Jasper tried to tell me that night after the beach how mature she was or how she got it.

What girl in their right mind would want to be shared?

"Just hang out with her while I'm gone."

I did.

Taking my phone out of my pocket, I stare at the screen. "Jesus," I mutter, and dial up Jasper. It rings and rings. "What the fuck am I doing?"

"Hey, bro," Jasper answers and yawns. "How's Bean?"

Daily conversations are done in this order. He pries, and then asks how she looks. My answer: Okay. But she's stunning. Luckily, I've been able to keep my distance for weeks now because it's felt more like a mission or a job. It kept me from crossing lines by kissing her. My mind has been racing every day since that night. No peace or silence. Constant nightmares. If I could just fuck the war out of me.

Maybe if I was allowed to be that intimate with Bean, no holds barred...

"She's good, man," I say, and he's about to ask how she looks, but I interrupt him before he has the chance. "Do you know that perfume she wears?"

"I don't know what brand it is or anything," he replies, and I hear his confusion, because we've had this discussion for the past week.

"Yeah, well, it's in my car a lot. I can't get it out. It's imbedded its way down into my damn upholstery," I say, and I breathe in deep, getting a fresh wave of it. She's everywhere, and escaping this girl is impossible. "I like that perfume. Not heavy or anything. It's floral or..." I rub my forehead and force my brain to produce the right word, "...or, shit. No, it's not shit. I don't know what the fuck I'm saying."

"Edward," Jasper says slowly.

"Yeah?"

"She got to you, didn't she?"

"She won't go for it, man."

"I told you what she said," Jasper says.

The night Jasper left, we dropped Bean off at her house and he walked her to the door. He wanted more with her, but knew the risk involved. We'd agreed to cut ties with her that night. That was the plan. It was a good plan. He didn't stick with it. When he came back to the truck, he looked like someone fucking hit him. I knew it wasn't good. Either he punked out, or she decked him. Bean's a feisty girl, Charlie through and through, and wouldn't put it past her.

Then he fucking sidelined me. "She wants to be with us."

After that, there was no discussing it with him. She was part of the plan. I just needed to get on board. And I fought hard against that shit. I wasn't going to get caught up in with a female. Not while Jasper and I were doing our business.

We've tried this bullshit in the past and failed.

But I agreed to babysit her, and that's how I saw it, until today. When I saw the scar on her chest, I knew she was broken in a way that made her perfect. She was strong. There's a part of myself in her eyes. The sincere browns. I'm an asshole to her, but she looked past that wall and saw the Edward that only Jasper knew.

Then there was that fucking perfume. When she hugged me goodbye in the rain, it amplified her scent and I couldn't keep fighting.

"If she's willing," I shake my head, fucking floored that I'm actually considering this shit, "then I'm willing to give it a try."

"I'll talk to her."

"When?"

"Christmas," he says with an exhale. "I got exams coming up and..."

"Yeah, fine, man, let's do Christmas then."

I'm irritated with him. The motherfucker's getting high and delaying shit. After all his nagging about getting to know the girl. I'll be lucky to survive the next week without trying to kiss her again. And if that happens, I can't promise him first dibs.

You snooze, you lose, bro.

"This will be a good thing, I know it," Jasper says as parting words. "She's the one, man."

I don't even answer him before hanging up, because I fucking hate it when he's right.