Date: 25 Jun 2016 8:56 PM Title: Chapter 83
This was AMAZING! I finally got to read it in full. I hadn't thought it was something i would enjoy by just reading the summary. Then it was suggested by another writer & her description had me intrigued! I had to remember that your summaries are always vague & lets the reader be surprised at what you have cooked up! As Templeton says at the fair in Charlotte's Web "it's a SMORGASBORD, SMORGASBORD!!" By far i think my favorite story you have wriiten so far!
Also, i love when you write drabbles! There are few writers who are successful with them in my opinion but when you write a drabble youknock it out of the park!
Date: 01 Apr 2016 4:25 PM Title: Chapter 28
I have to make a comment about the usage of the color red. Red means all play stops immediately, that what is happening is making the person uncomfortable and wants to stop what is happening, but yet you have them keep going. its just not right. you cant be yellow and red at the same time.
He asked what her safe colours are, NOT what colour she currently was.
Date: 17 Mar 2016 11:54 AM Title: Chapter 76
Finally they know something is going on. I wonder how long it had been since Bella left the note to now. If Emmett finds the note with the address and calls Edward back with it, maybe Edward is close to the warehouse and it won't take him long to get there.
Date: 14 Mar 2016 1:00 AM Title: Chapter 73
James used Rosalie to get to Bella. He knows the hot headed blonde will be just the right incentive to bring his prey into the trap.
Will Bella leave the address behind for someone to see?
Will the building security call Edward letting him know she left the building?
Did James somehow get to Declan causing his illness?
If Emmett is at the school, and the evidence of Rosalie's car and keys remain, shouldn't he be calling the police when she cannot be located?