Date: 29 Nov 2017 5:37 PM Title: Chapter 7 - Explosive Changes
I can't stand that he found them.
I hope that Bella & Edward's connection has left her "feeling" him out there.
Please, please don't kill Esme or harm her too much. I want to see her get revenge.
I don't want to believe that Edward will become like his father.
Date: 14 Nov 2017 6:33 AM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
I read this chapter and felt like I had missed something so I looked back at the rpevious chapters and discovered I hadn't read at least the last 5. Apparently I wasn't getting the update notifications. I'm happy to be all caught up now and patiently waiting to see how they reconcile...or do they?
Date: 13 Nov 2017 7:06 PM Title: Making a Run for It
I would've been more than happy to tell you the names of my books and poetry that have been published, but with the way you've reacted, why would I do that?
I usually leave positive reviews, so I have no clue what you are talking about. What few times I've said anything negative, as you called it, was once again constructive criticism - something you obviously cannot differentiate between. In fact, I love to encourage writers that have potential, which I did with you at first, if you'll recall. Your story just took such a bizarre turn, that I had to tell you that. Trust me, this will be the last time you get a review from me.
You are well known in the fandom for your "reviews". Think on that for a moment. Maybe your "constructive criticism" is not as constructive as you might think, because I have talked to other authors and they feel the same why I do about them. I also think it is funny that you won't share your "published" work. I thought all published authors loved sharing their work to others.
Date: 13 Nov 2017 6:32 PM Title: Making a Run for It
It's truly a shame that you have such a bad attitude - sarcasm will get you nowhere. I really had high hopes for your story, but I will no longer continue to read it. Part of being a writer is learning how to take criticism and growing as an author. You really need to work on that. Regardless, I wish you luck with your story/writing.
I requested the name of the book that you published. You made it seem that you knew more than I did and wanted to see your work. I guess it is either of two things: Either you are not a published author or you don't want me to know and pass judgement on your storyline anc characters. I love my story and my characters. I stand up for my work from the likes of you. I went through your reviews of other authors and I see a pattern of negativity. Are you that bitter that the only thing that gives you pleasure is to cut down authors who post stories for you to read for FREE? I am happy you are not going to read my story, one less long review that meant nothing to me other than it increase my review count.
Date: 13 Nov 2017 2:09 AM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
I cannot believe the woman who didn't like a strong independent woman named Bella. I don't know what she expected but obviously it's not a sweet taking Bella. I love her and I feel so bad for Edward, I really do. Clo, I know you write the stories as they come to you and I've read almost all of them. Each story is different and each character's manners are unique. That's what makes a great story. I remember telling you about how much I hated and feared Carlisle. Any word about him from your reviewer? i am starting to feel so much different. I think that once this "strong" Bella hears what Edward says, it will be the team of a lifetime. Can hardly wait.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 10:42 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
I agree with Edward 100%! Bella HAD a choice - he DIDN'T! She became a whore on her own, despite having all the money and opportunities in the world. She COULD'VE and SHOULD'VE done SO many GOOD things with that money/blessings, and honored Edward and Esme's lives that gave it to her, but instead she CHOSE to be an escort when she DIDN'T have to be! Edward should've just walked away and left her nasty ass there before she had a chance to hit him. I don't believe in hitting women, but she certainly deserves a good smack herself!
She's VERY selfish for thinking that she's the only one hurting. Doesn't she realize who Carlisle is? Surely with her extensive background checks of clients, she KNOWS who he is. She should've put two and two together, and realized that Edward and Esme didn't disappear for nothing, especially with a creep like Carlisle for a father.
*On a side note, I was the first to catch your NY/Chicago mistake, yet you chose to take offense at what I had said and claimed I was wrong until a few others had pointed it out as well. I hope you realize now that I was just trying to help you and your story by giving constructive criticism and helping to point out inconsistencies. I am a published author, so believe me when I say that I am only trying to help. ;)
Oh please oh please, please tell me the title of your published work, so I gain the insight into the literary prowess of an author such as yourself. I am not trying to be critial, only to learn from someone with such knowledge in the written word.
Date: 12 Nov 2017 10:31 PM Title: Chapter 13 It Must be a Dream
Thanks, but was that really smart? She did some real damage that Carlisle will see. A slap seems more appropriate for the name calling. And frankly, that is what she did without any excuse for needing it to make a living.
Date: 06 Nov 2017 9:57 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Confessions
At some point in the last chapter and in this one you switched from Chicago as the Mafia home to New York. Not a major big deal but a little confusing. I got to chapter 11 and was really confused when Chi Town appeared..... Nice story though.
Thank you so much for catching my mistake. I guess that is what I get for writing two different Mafia stories at the same time. You are doll to let me know about. Thanks again.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 9:54 PM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
I hate Carlisle more and more with each chapter. I can’t wait for Edward and Bella to be together. Will they recognize each other when they meet? Will they pretend they don’t because if Carlisle? Can’t wait for the next chapter.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 8:37 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
This story started out good, & had the potential to be great, but it’s sadly taken many ridiculous turns. Bella getting over $7 million from the deaths of her soulmate & his mother is extremely unrealistic. Do you realize what insurance policies of that size would cost?! Esme wasn’t filthy rich.
And then Bella secretly gets her GED at 18 instead of just graduating by bribing her principle with $5,000, & then buys an Aston Martin - another ridiculous, unnecessary detail, to travel the US and turn into a slut. She hardly seems like she’s grieving for her soulmate. Instead, you’ve basically turned her into a heartless, materialistic whore.
She supposedly plays the stock market too on top of the millions she already has, but opens up an escort service in Chicago. Again, completely unnecessary and very gross.
Edward is supposedly the future Don of NY, and she’s in Chicago. Is that a mistake?
Then having Edward be raped by women repeatedly, especially anally while his father watched & masturbated is just disgusting & completely unnecessary. Was he underage during that? If so, that’s pedophilia!
You've turned E&B pretty much into 2 characters without any redeeming qualities now, when they started out so sweet. What son stands by and allows his mother to be gang raped for years?! Why not try to kill his dad before now or escape?! He’s had plenty of opportunities. Why hasn’t Esme told him about the evidence she stashed back in Forks? Hell, where there’s a will, there’s a way!
And while spineless Edward was forced into sex, Bella just became a whore on her own. If E&B loved each other so much, they would’ve fought harder, held out. Even with her thinking he’s dead, she could’ve waited longer than she did. She literally jumped in bed with a stranger after leaving Forks and lost her virginity. Imho, she doesn’t love Edward - just puppy love that faded rather quickly while she spent his death money whoring around & buying expensive things.
And then Carlisle hires Bella to be Edward’s escort, yet doesn’t know she’s his Bella from Forks? Any mafia Don would know that. Jasper would also know that Alice is an escort too.
I’m not trying to criticize - just trying to point some obvious things out here.
I wanted to clear up so mistakes in your review. First of all Defiance is in Chicago, while my other story was in New York. Second a 5 million dollar policy on a health 25 year old woman would be only 2,000 per year. Esme took lots of money, but also made money on her art work. Carlisle is very controlling or at least I hoped I wrote him that way. Edward was scared what he might do to Esme at every turn and didn't know what might happen to both Esme and Bella if he went against him. Bella heart is broken beyond repair and doesn't want to every do anything that would cause her to ever love again. She thinks that he is DEAD. He died at the age of 16 and she waited to leave Forks until she was 18 years old, how long was she supposed to wait? As I stated Jasper thought Alice worked at a high end shop, but I guess you missed that part. I did not write at what age when Edward was made to have sex with those women, you just assumed that he was under age, but again we are talking about a cruel evil Carlisle. I'm am not criticizing your review, just wanted to point out some of the mistakes within it.
Date: 05 Nov 2017 3:53 AM Title: Chapter 12 Revelations
I've been dying for an update. Loved it and am looking forward to the next!! You are fabulous. Seriously devouring all your stories as we speak at insane speed it's not healthy XD Can't get enough!
Date: 04 Oct 2017 1:58 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
wow, this chapter covers a lot , is like forward edward situation by 10 years i feel. anticipation is killing me . is just wierd to see bella choose this career as she is daughter of chief in small town and she was very innocent and now she had vip escourt wierd. and i am sure carlise knows about bella very well that she is the one edward grow up with it
Date: 27 Sep 2017 12:01 AM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
WHAT OMG!!!! Bella is a escort!!!! WOW!!!
Betting time: Will they recognize each other???
19 say yes
13 say no
Who is going to start my Bridge day on October 21st???
Date: 26 Sep 2017 10:26 PM Title: Chapter 11 Cold Black Heart
Oh this is going to be fabulously good and l just can't wait. I wonder if they will recognise each other? I so feel for Edward, he has no one to confide in and no friend to trust. Am hoping Jasper eventually will be a source of help and an associate in bringing Carlise down.