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Reviewer: rodeinti Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24 Apr 2018 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 50

Thank you for the update...well done...Emmett is going to marry his Rosie!!! to funny...Bella will have to tell Edward how she feels maybe they will have a double wedding..naw, I'm sure the next time we hear form Emmett he will already be married...until you post again

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 22 Apr 2018 4:55 PM Title: Chapter 50

; )

Reviewer: twi-sessed Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Apr 2018 1:06 AM Title: Chapter 50

Wow!  I can’t believe Esme would put a hit out on her own son!  She is one seriously sick woman!  I can’t wait for her and Denali to get what they deserve!!

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 21 Apr 2018 10:49 PM Title: Chapter 50

So very good. The tension is building and the plot is thickening. Thank you.

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 21 Apr 2018 9:19 PM Title: Chapter 50

It sounds like Edward and Bella both need to admit their feelings.   Esme and Elezar both need to go.   ugh.......

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 Apr 2018 7:30 PM Title: Chapter 50

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 Apr 2018 7:23 PM Title: Chapter 50

I think it's a good sign that he's giving her details. To me, it shows that he means to marry her and that he really does card. I think she knows that, but actually seeing it happen might just cinch the deal. Could Emmett really be in on the planned attempts on him and his father? Or is that just a ruse someone is putting out? Seems to me it could maybe be true, but I'm not sure. I'm loving this story! Thanks!

Reviewer: MaryMary Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 Apr 2018 4:38 PM Title: Chapter 50

What a mess. Seems Denali is very busy. Since tube plan to hurt the other families involve the ones you trust in ending Denali and perhaps his mothrr

E ones 

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 21 Apr 2018 12:21 AM Title: Chapter 49

Excellent. Thanks

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2018 11:51 PM Title: Chapter 48

Ah! Everyone will lose something as this betrayal resolves itself

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2018 10:46 PM Title: Chapter 47

An understandable reaction to her kidnaping. Thank you for writing

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Apr 2018 2:56 AM Title: Chapter 49

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: LunaEclipse Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Apr 2018 2:34 PM Title: Chapter 49

Oh boy!!!!

Reviewer: Mannco Signed [Report This]
Date: 15 Apr 2018 1:42 PM Title: Chapter 49

Oh No!! Please tell me Rose is not a spy!! Hopefully they are trying to blackmail her into their evil skeem to take over the 'family' business???? I hope she comes completely clean with Emmett and tell them of their demands... 

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Apr 2018 1:50 AM Title: Chapter 49

; )

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Apr 2018 7:08 PM Title: Chapter 49

Now they know OF the plot but still aren't sure exactly WHAT the plot is. Thanks for the chapter. I love reading you.

Reviewer: Erikay2003 Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Apr 2018 3:29 PM Title: Chapter 49

Aww I think Rosalie was being treated by esme I really don’t want her to be part of esmes plan

Reviewer: Gelsa Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Apr 2018 10:43 AM Title: Chapter 49

Can't wait to hear from Rosie

Reviewer: twi-sessed Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Apr 2018 10:30 AM Title: Chapter 49

Uh oh!  I wonder what is up with Rose.  Esme always claimed to dislike Rose and talked about her as though she were beneath her.  I can’t wait for the next chapter. I can’t wait to find out what Rose has to say for herself.  

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14 Apr 2018 8:15 AM Title: Chapter 49

Esme and fucking Elezar are probably trying to black mail Rose.   I hate people like that th at would turn on their own family.  ugh....  

Reviewer: bri Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 13 Apr 2018 10:38 AM Title: Chapter 48

Love your story can't wait to read more 

Reviewer: awaywithwords3 Signed [Report This]
Date: 13 Apr 2018 12:56 AM Title: Chapter 2

Hello, Alicia. I read Chapter 1 and just finished Chapter 2. I speculate you are using British English. I don't know if you follow American English or dialogue rules. This is constructive criticism. In dialogue, there is always a comma in front of the character's name and after the name when talking to another character. However, if the dialogue begins with the other character's name, there is no comma in front of the name (obviously). If you are talking about a character to another character, there are no commas to separate the name.

Example: (Emmett is talking to Edward). I'm right here, Boss. Boss is a nickname or other name for who Edward is and there is always a comma in front of the nickname; if Emmett said Edward instead of Boss.

I noticed that you separated words such as courthouse to court house, and didn't hyphenate brother-in-law, or when one talks about age, it should be written as, twenty-eight-years-old.

You have a good storyline and I will continue reading. Do you have a beta that helps you or could help you? Again, I am not very familiar with British English other than knowing one doesn't put periods after Mr, Mrs, and other titles such as this. I usually don't use reviews as I rather use PMs. I don't know if Stars has those available or not. I don't remember seeing it.

Hope some of what I recommended you find useful.

Reviewer: twi-sessed Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Apr 2018 12:20 AM Title: Chapter 48

Uh oh!  They’ve sealed their fate!  Their time left is ticking down!  But how awful to know your mom has betrayed you and your family.  Can’t imagine.  I’ll be anxiously waiting for the next chapter!  

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09 Apr 2018 12:11 AM Title: Chapter 48

; )

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Apr 2018 4:40 PM Title: Chapter 48

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 08 Apr 2018 4:29 PM Title: Chapter 48

Hopefully they just kill both of the cheaters.  ugh.......

Reviewer: Mannco Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Apr 2018 1:26 AM Title: Chapter 48

Denali and Esme have to know that they are on to them since Denali was with Bella during the whole questioning ordeal. Wonder if they will start ramping up their supposed takeover, but of course Edward will cut them off at the knees, won't he??!!?? 

Can't wait to see which way you take things, although you will probably write something to keep me in suspense, something I haven't even thought of yet........  😍—😁

Thank you

Reviewer: Alyscia Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Apr 2018 12:10 AM Title: Chapter 48

Edward shouldnt be worried about that Bella likes it. I cant believe the twist of Edwards mom. OMG so amazing! 

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Apr 2018 9:47 PM Title: Chapter 48

so...Denali is in cahoots with Esme. They should have known Edward would find out...find them. Will it be a problem for him to off his own mother? I'm torn here. I'm an E and B fan all the way, but I'm also a mother. I can't imagine one of my sons killing me, but then again I also can't imagine me wanting to do what she has done to her son, knowing the rules. E and B need to marry already so B won't be subject to being nabbed by the cops/feds and urged to turn on him. Wonderful stuff, this is. I'm loving it!

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Apr 2018 4:30 AM Title: Chapter 47

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Mar 2018 7:43 PM Title: Chapter 47

This is another very telling chapter. I loved it! So Edward was surprised at Denali's presence where Jarvis held Bella? I take that to mean Denali is against Edward and working to bring him down. Interesting. Bella was strong when they held her, but now i detect a bit of doubt in her as to where she stands with Edward. He keeps trying to reassure her, but is not very practiced on expressing his feelings. That he stepped into her shower half dressed was a good clue for her that he cares. I loved that part. Gun and all! Is Emmett also suspected to be disloyal? Sorry, I can't remember but it seems so in this chapter. I do love reading this story of yours, as always. You provide quality entertainment. I am grateful! Thank you...

Reviewer: hawkeye2010 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 30 Mar 2018 4:18 PM Title: Chapter 47

She is finally home

Reviewer: twi-sessed Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Mar 2018 1:33 PM Title: Chapter 47

I wonder who Edward is yelling at now?!  I feel sorry for Denali when Edward gets a hold of him and Edward’s mom!  The writing is on the wall!   He said those 3 words!!!  I can’t wait to see what’s next!!

Reviewer: Daydreamer40 Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Mar 2018 10:33 AM Title: Chapter 47

Great chapter! I almost had a heart attack when she said she was leaving. I thought Jarvis and Denali had really succeeded. Can’t wait to see what they do as a couple to the villains. I believe Bella is a force to be reckoned with like a Edward. Perfect couple!

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 30 Mar 2018 6:18 AM Title: Chapter 47

; )

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 30 Mar 2018 6:09 AM Title: Chapter 47

I'm so relieved they are back together and Edward poured out his feelings.  Him getting in the shower fully dressed to do it was really hot.  LOL . I sure hope death is coming for Denali and Esme.

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 26 Mar 2018 7:17 PM Title: Chapter 46

Brilliant on many levels. Thanks

Reviewer: BridieM Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 Mar 2018 7:09 PM Title: Chapter 45

Fantastic chapter. Love your characters. Thanks

Reviewer: 2mpix Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 26 Mar 2018 3:43 PM Title: Chapter 46

I'm so glad she is finally out. I think she is ready to join the mob and destroy every agent that was in that warehouse.

Reviewer: Alyscia Signed [Report This]
Date: 26 Mar 2018 1:19 AM Title: Chapter 46

OMG! This was an amazing update!

Reviewer: twi-sessed Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Mar 2018 5:57 PM Title: Chapter 46

I’m disappointed that your story didn’t place, but it’s still a favorite of mine!!!

Aro Volturi has just seriously fucked up!  I can’t wait for the next chapter!  I’ll be anxiously waiting!

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Mar 2018 2:24 AM Title: Chapter 46

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 10:51 PM Title: Chapter 46

I would think that everyone around Bella, Charlie included, would go after Aro and Denali.

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 7:19 PM Title: Chapter 46

; )

Reviewer: Thirlestane Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 6:31 PM Title: Chapter 46

THANK you!

T

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 5:01 PM Title: Chapter 46

Thank god she is finally out of there! They really messed with her head, even though she was strong and didn't reveal anything to them. Edward will make them pay. Will he be hurt that she doubted him, even though she didn't reveal that to THEM, or will he believe that she stayed strong and true? Loved this chapter.

Reviewer: Mannco Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 4:16 PM Title: Chapter 46

Love love love this story and can't wait until the next chapter!! Thank you

Reviewer: Erikay2003 Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 46

Ok 1 yay she’s out and with Edward 2 Jarvis and Denali you all better run 3 if Edwards mom had something to do with this she’s going down 2 3 Jarvis you just made your worse enemy ass Denali you better run your are 1st

Reviewer: aelita48 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 2:28 PM Title: Chapter 1

I love !

Reviewer: hawkeye2010 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24 Mar 2018 12:12 PM Title: Chapter 46

Finally, get to writing

Reviewer: rodeinti Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 21 Mar 2018 8:20 PM Title: Chapter 45

Thank you for the update.....Edward is on his way to his girl..him & everybody else..lol...I can't believe Esme would do this to her family..Yes Carlisle has a piece on the side I think or he is just using her for info I'm not sure....I hope Charlie & Billy are okay...Bella is very smart..thank god Edward never spoke to her about business so she couldn't answer any questions...Edward can't wait to tell his girl how he really feels about her...let's hope she is not scared of what they implied.  I really can't wait for next chapter..Ihope you are well so we will get our next installment!!! until you post again,,WELL DONE!!! MY FRIEND

Reviewer: twi-sessed Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Mar 2018 7:56 PM Title: Chapter 45

It’s about time they are going to get Bella!   I wonder who else is a mole.  It has to be someone close to Edward that is giving information. I really hope Charlie and Billy are both ok.  Can’t wait for the next chapter!!

Reviewer: 2mpix Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 18 Mar 2018 1:12 PM Title: Chapter 45

Bella is coming home! Hooray! I'm thinking they are going to ravage each other!! 

Reviewer: 2mpix Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 18 Mar 2018 12:46 PM Title: Chapter 44

She is as wise as edward and will make a perfect mob wife!!

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Mar 2018 9:32 PM Title: Chapter 45

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 17 Mar 2018 1:52 PM Title: Chapter 45

; )

Reviewer: Erikay2003 Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2018 4:26 AM Title: Chapter 45

Uuuuu yes Bella smart Chica Edward emmet be careful Alice is a force of nature you don’t want her to go ape on you for messing with her husband

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2018 4:09 AM Title: Chapter 45

Time for Esme, Denali and his daughter and Aro to die......   I hope Edward really likes Bella's shrewdness.

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2018 3:17 AM Title: Chapter 45

wow this was a great chapter! i hope Bella isn't confused about loyalties. I hope she was just trying to confuse and befuddle Jarvis and Denali. I think Denali is the rat  and hope Edward nails him, if he is. Thanks!

Reviewer: Alyscia Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2018 12:41 AM Title: Chapter 45

OMg I am so happy Bella is just playing with them. a holes

Reviewer: Ashmerlin Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2018 12:14 AM Title: Chapter 45

Loved it!

Reviewer: Mannco Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Mar 2018 12:05 AM Title: Chapter 45

Go Edward!! Go get our girl from the clutches of those evil SOB's!! Whoo hooo

Reviewer: scareDcat Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Mar 2018 10:56 PM Title: Chapter 45

Yay! To the rescue! I'm loving this so much xx

Reviewer: scareDcat Signed [Report This]
Date: 15 Mar 2018 10:55 PM Title: Chapter 45

Yay! To the rescue! I'm loving this so much xx

Reviewer: LunaEclipse Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 15 Mar 2018 10:34 PM Title: Chapter 45

OMG I CANT WAIT!!!

 

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15 Mar 2018 3:22 AM Title: Chapter 44

Congrats on getting through and being on the mend. I have enjoyed these chapters. I view them as character development. Bella has shone through. These suckers have no idea. I hope Edward lea4ns some anger management sometime or other. ☺️

Reviewer: neffi1957 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12 Mar 2018 10:02 PM Title: Chapter 44

Love your story.

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 11 Mar 2018 10:39 PM Title: Chapter 44

; )

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Mar 2018 8:11 AM Title: Chapter 44

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: Gelsa Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Mar 2018 5:47 PM Title: Chapter 44

I hope you are soon feeling well

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10 Mar 2018 10:41 AM Title: Chapter 44

I hope Bella's plan to fake out the scum bags really works.  I mean other scum bags are watching her expression as she looks at the mirrow too.

Reviewer: twi-sessed Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Mar 2018 7:00 PM Title: Chapter 43

I love how they know Bella so well and know that she’s far from docile.  I’m glad she’s not believing their story about her dad and Harry!  Looking forward to next chapter.  

Reviewer: 2mpix Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07 Mar 2018 3:13 AM Title: Chapter 42

Someone really likes spankings!!

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06 Mar 2018 12:54 AM Title: Chapter 43

Another exciting, character driven chapter. Wonderful. Thanks

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05 Mar 2018 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 42

So very hot!!!!!

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 04 Mar 2018 1:54 AM Title: Chapter 43

; )

Reviewer: rodeinti Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 04 Mar 2018 12:19 AM Title: Chapter 43

Thank you for the update..Jasper get to where Bella is now...can't wait to see what happens next...until you post again

Reviewer: Melcat Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 8:18 PM Title: Chapter 43

Omg, such a good story. 

Reviewer: LunaEclipse Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 7:54 PM Title: Chapter 43

LOVE IT!!!! Update soon PLEASE

 

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 5:46 PM Title: Chapter 43

 Smart Bella! Can't wait to see their faces when Edward and company arrive where they are holding her.  BTW, since 9/11, all the usual rules of what rights prisoners are allowed has sort of gone by the wayside. People are detained here now and given no reason all the time. Sad but true!

Reviewer: virginie Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 1:17 PM Title: Chapter 43

suite ms plus longue tu nous laisses sans fin j 'ai hate de la suite merci

Reviewer: Ashmerlin Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 12:43 PM Title: Chapter 43

Lol! Loved this chapter!

XoxoxoX
Alia

Reviewer: hawkeye2010 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 11:48 AM Title: Chapter 43

Keep on writing

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 10:57 AM Title: Chapter 43

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: Salanna Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 7:58 AM Title: Chapter 43

Way to go Bella, I was waiting for her to realize she's being set up! Jarvis & co have hell coming after them soon enough.

Reviewer: trbuie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 03 Mar 2018 7:46 AM Title: Chapter 43

I hope those dumb ass agents all get fired or worse.   Maybe the Charlie and Harry crime scenes are photo shopped.   Bella is so smart.   Elezar, Tanya and Esme need some punishmwent as well.   grrrr....

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Mar 2018 6:26 PM Title: Chapter 42

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 02 Mar 2018 4:15 PM Title: Chapter 42

; )

Reviewer: Mannco Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Mar 2018 12:51 AM Title: Chapter 42

Ok, I think that this chapter is in the wrong place. The last chapter has Bella still being interviewed by some mistery police/fbi group. Now this one has her in the tub with Edward home early to spank her???????????????



Author's Response:

It’s an outtake to say thank you for voting x

Reviewer: rclaurel3 Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Mar 2018 11:31 PM Title: Chapter 42

Wow that was Hot.....till next time, thank you ;)

Reviewer: judyblue95 Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Mar 2018 7:07 PM Title: Chapter 42

Very nice outtake. I imagined I was her. Thanks!

Reviewer: rodeinti Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01 Mar 2018 3:43 PM Title: Chapter 42

thank you for thr out take.....Your story is great!!!  Keep up the good work!!!  until youpost again

Reviewer: Abond41 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01 Mar 2018 11:22 AM Title: Chapter 42

I think I wanted work spank me now!😁

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 25 Feb 2018 10:46 AM Title: Chapter 41

Excellent chapter. Really enjoyed the power plays and the intrigue. Thanks

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 25 Feb 2018 7:59 AM Title: Chapter 40

So exciting. Thanks

Reviewer: BridieM Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 25 Feb 2018 5:01 AM Title: Chapter 38

Really good. Enjoyed APOV. Thanks

Reviewer: amcullen Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Feb 2018 4:10 AM Title: Chapter 41

Loved it can’t wait for more 

Reviewer: pughtwins Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 25 Feb 2018 1:39 AM Title: Chapter 41

; )

Reviewer: 2mpix Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24 Feb 2018 1:22 PM Title: Chapter 41

Her dad is not dead. I bet they photoshopped that pictire.

Reviewer: 2mpix Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Feb 2018 10:12 AM Title: Chapter 40

Is that alice storming in at the end??

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