[Report This]Date: 24 Apr 2018 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 50
Thank you for the update...well done...Emmett is going to marry his Rosie!!! to funny...Bella will have to tell Edward how she feels maybe they will have a double wedding..naw, I'm sure the next time we hear form Emmett he will already be married...until you post again
Date: 22 Apr 2018 1:06 AM Title: Chapter 50
Wow! I can’t believe Esme would put a hit out on her own son! She is one seriously sick woman! I can’t wait for her and Denali to get what they deserve!!
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2018 10:49 PM Title: Chapter 50
So very good. The tension is building and the plot is thickening. Thank you.
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2018 9:19 PM Title: Chapter 50
It sounds like Edward and Bella both need to admit their feelings. Esme and Elezar both need to go. ugh.......
Date: 21 Apr 2018 7:30 PM Title: Chapter 50
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 21 Apr 2018 7:23 PM Title: Chapter 50
I think it's a good sign that he's giving her details. To me, it shows that he means to marry her and that he really does card. I think she knows that, but actually seeing it happen might just cinch the deal. Could Emmett really be in on the planned attempts on him and his father? Or is that just a ruse someone is putting out? Seems to me it could maybe be true, but I'm not sure. I'm loving this story! Thanks!
Date: 21 Apr 2018 4:38 PM Title: Chapter 50
What a mess. Seems Denali is very busy. Since tube plan to hurt the other families involve the ones you trust in ending Denali and perhaps his mothrr
E ones
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2018 12:21 AM Title: Chapter 49
Excellent. Thanks
[Report This]Date: 20 Apr 2018 11:51 PM Title: Chapter 48
Ah! Everyone will lose something as this betrayal resolves itself
[Report This]Date: 20 Apr 2018 10:46 PM Title: Chapter 47
An understandable reaction to her kidnaping. Thank you for writing
Date: 18 Apr 2018 2:56 AM Title: Chapter 49
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 15 Apr 2018 1:42 PM Title: Chapter 49
Oh No!! Please tell me Rose is not a spy!! Hopefully they are trying to blackmail her into their evil skeem to take over the 'family' business???? I hope she comes completely clean with Emmett and tell them of their demands...
Date: 14 Apr 2018 7:08 PM Title: Chapter 49
Now they know OF the plot but still aren't sure exactly WHAT the plot is. Thanks for the chapter. I love reading you.
Date: 14 Apr 2018 3:29 PM Title: Chapter 49
Aww I think Rosalie was being treated by esme I really don’t want her to be part of esmes plan
Date: 14 Apr 2018 10:43 AM Title: Chapter 49
Can't wait to hear from Rosie
Date: 14 Apr 2018 10:30 AM Title: Chapter 49
Uh oh! I wonder what is up with Rose. Esme always claimed to dislike Rose and talked about her as though she were beneath her. I can’t wait for the next chapter. I can’t wait to find out what Rose has to say for herself.
[Report This]Date: 14 Apr 2018 8:15 AM Title: Chapter 49
Esme and fucking Elezar are probably trying to black mail Rose. I hate people like that th at would turn on their own family. ugh....
[Report This]Date: 13 Apr 2018 10:38 AM Title: Chapter 48
Love your story can't wait to read more
Date: 13 Apr 2018 12:56 AM Title: Chapter 2
Hello, Alicia. I read Chapter 1 and just finished Chapter 2. I speculate you are using British English. I don't know if you follow American English or dialogue rules. This is constructive criticism. In dialogue, there is always a comma in front of the character's name and after the name when talking to another character. However, if the dialogue begins with the other character's name, there is no comma in front of the name (obviously). If you are talking about a character to another character, there are no commas to separate the name.
Example: (Emmett is talking to Edward). I'm right here, Boss. Boss is a nickname or other name for who Edward is and there is always a comma in front of the nickname; if Emmett said Edward instead of Boss.
I noticed that you separated words such as courthouse to court house, and didn't hyphenate brother-in-law, or when one talks about age, it should be written as, twenty-eight-years-old.
You have a good storyline and I will continue reading. Do you have a beta that helps you or could help you? Again, I am not very familiar with British English other than knowing one doesn't put periods after Mr, Mrs, and other titles such as this. I usually don't use reviews as I rather use PMs. I don't know if Stars has those available or not. I don't remember seeing it.
Hope some of what I recommended you find useful.
Date: 11 Apr 2018 12:20 AM Title: Chapter 48
Uh oh! They’ve sealed their fate! Their time left is ticking down! But how awful to know your mom has betrayed you and your family. Can’t imagine. I’ll be anxiously waiting for the next chapter!
Date: 08 Apr 2018 4:40 PM Title: Chapter 48
Loved it can’t wait for more
[Report This]Date: 08 Apr 2018 4:29 PM Title: Chapter 48
Hopefully they just kill both of the cheaters. ugh.......
Date: 08 Apr 2018 1:26 AM Title: Chapter 48
Denali and Esme have to know that they are on to them since Denali was with Bella during the whole questioning ordeal. Wonder if they will start ramping up their supposed takeover, but of course Edward will cut them off at the knees, won't he??!!??
Can't wait to see which way you take things, although you will probably write something to keep me in suspense, something I haven't even thought of yet........ 😍—😁
Thank you
Date: 08 Apr 2018 12:10 AM Title: Chapter 48
Edward shouldnt be worried about that Bella likes it. I cant believe the twist of Edwards mom. OMG so amazing!
Date: 07 Apr 2018 9:47 PM Title: Chapter 48
so...Denali is in cahoots with Esme. They should have known Edward would find out...find them. Will it be a problem for him to off his own mother? I'm torn here. I'm an E and B fan all the way, but I'm also a mother. I can't imagine one of my sons killing me, but then again I also can't imagine me wanting to do what she has done to her son, knowing the rules. E and B need to marry already so B won't be subject to being nabbed by the cops/feds and urged to turn on him. Wonderful stuff, this is. I'm loving it!
Date: 01 Apr 2018 4:30 AM Title: Chapter 47
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 30 Mar 2018 7:43 PM Title: Chapter 47
This is another very telling chapter. I loved it! So Edward was surprised at Denali's presence where Jarvis held Bella? I take that to mean Denali is against Edward and working to bring him down. Interesting. Bella was strong when they held her, but now i detect a bit of doubt in her as to where she stands with Edward. He keeps trying to reassure her, but is not very practiced on expressing his feelings. That he stepped into her shower half dressed was a good clue for her that he cares. I loved that part. Gun and all! Is Emmett also suspected to be disloyal? Sorry, I can't remember but it seems so in this chapter. I do love reading this story of yours, as always. You provide quality entertainment. I am grateful! Thank you...
[Report This]Date: 30 Mar 2018 4:18 PM Title: Chapter 47
She is finally home
Date: 30 Mar 2018 1:33 PM Title: Chapter 47
I wonder who Edward is yelling at now?! I feel sorry for Denali when Edward gets a hold of him and Edward’s mom! The writing is on the wall! He said those 3 words!!! I can’t wait to see what’s next!!
Date: 30 Mar 2018 10:33 AM Title: Chapter 47
Great chapter! I almost had a heart attack when she said she was leaving. I thought Jarvis and Denali had really succeeded. Can’t wait to see what they do as a couple to the villains. I believe Bella is a force to be reckoned with like a Edward. Perfect couple!
[Report This]Date: 30 Mar 2018 6:09 AM Title: Chapter 47
I'm so relieved they are back together and Edward poured out his feelings. Him getting in the shower fully dressed to do it was really hot. LOL . I sure hope death is coming for Denali and Esme.
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2018 7:17 PM Title: Chapter 46
Brilliant on many levels. Thanks
Date: 26 Mar 2018 7:09 PM Title: Chapter 45
Fantastic chapter. Love your characters. Thanks
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2018 3:43 PM Title: Chapter 46
I'm so glad she is finally out. I think she is ready to join the mob and destroy every agent that was in that warehouse.
Date: 26 Mar 2018 1:19 AM Title: Chapter 46
OMG! This was an amazing update!
Date: 25 Mar 2018 5:57 PM Title: Chapter 46
I’m disappointed that your story didn’t place, but it’s still a favorite of mine!!!
Aro Volturi has just seriously fucked up! I can’t wait for the next chapter! I’ll be anxiously waiting!
Date: 25 Mar 2018 2:24 AM Title: Chapter 46
Loved it can’t wait for more
[Report This]Date: 24 Mar 2018 10:51 PM Title: Chapter 46
I would think that everyone around Bella, Charlie included, would go after Aro and Denali.
Date: 24 Mar 2018 5:01 PM Title: Chapter 46
Thank god she is finally out of there! They really messed with her head, even though she was strong and didn't reveal anything to them. Edward will make them pay. Will he be hurt that she doubted him, even though she didn't reveal that to THEM, or will he believe that she stayed strong and true? Loved this chapter.
Date: 24 Mar 2018 4:16 PM Title: Chapter 46
Love love love this story and can't wait until the next chapter!! Thank you
Date: 24 Mar 2018 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 46
Ok 1 yay she’s out and with Edward 2 Jarvis and Denali you all better run 3 if Edwards mom had something to do with this she’s going down 2 3 Jarvis you just made your worse enemy ass Denali you better run your are 1st
[Report This]Date: 24 Mar 2018 12:12 PM Title: Chapter 46
Finally, get to writing
[Report This]Date: 21 Mar 2018 8:20 PM Title: Chapter 45
Thank you for the update.....Edward is on his way to his girl..him & everybody else..lol...I can't believe Esme would do this to her family..Yes Carlisle has a piece on the side I think or he is just using her for info I'm not sure....I hope Charlie & Billy are okay...Bella is very smart..thank god Edward never spoke to her about business so she couldn't answer any questions...Edward can't wait to tell his girl how he really feels about her...let's hope she is not scared of what they implied. I really can't wait for next chapter..Ihope you are well so we will get our next installment!!! until you post again,,WELL DONE!!! MY FRIEND
Date: 18 Mar 2018 7:56 PM Title: Chapter 45
It’s about time they are going to get Bella! I wonder who else is a mole. It has to be someone close to Edward that is giving information. I really hope Charlie and Billy are both ok. Can’t wait for the next chapter!!
[Report This]Date: 18 Mar 2018 1:12 PM Title: Chapter 45
Bella is coming home! Hooray! I'm thinking they are going to ravage each other!!
[Report This]Date: 18 Mar 2018 12:46 PM Title: Chapter 44
She is as wise as edward and will make a perfect mob wife!!
Date: 17 Mar 2018 9:32 PM Title: Chapter 45
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 16 Mar 2018 4:26 AM Title: Chapter 45
Uuuuu yes Bella smart Chica Edward emmet be careful Alice is a force of nature you don’t want her to go ape on you for messing with her husband
[Report This]Date: 16 Mar 2018 4:09 AM Title: Chapter 45
Time for Esme, Denali and his daughter and Aro to die...... I hope Edward really likes Bella's shrewdness.
Date: 16 Mar 2018 3:17 AM Title: Chapter 45
wow this was a great chapter! i hope Bella isn't confused about loyalties. I hope she was just trying to confuse and befuddle Jarvis and Denali. I think Denali is the rat and hope Edward nails him, if he is. Thanks!
Date: 16 Mar 2018 12:41 AM Title: Chapter 45
OMg I am so happy Bella is just playing with them. a holes
Date: 16 Mar 2018 12:05 AM Title: Chapter 45
Go Edward!! Go get our girl from the clutches of those evil SOB's!! Whoo hooo
[Report This]Date: 15 Mar 2018 10:56 PM Title: Chapter 45
Yay! To the rescue! I'm loving this so much xx
Date: 15 Mar 2018 10:55 PM Title: Chapter 45
Yay! To the rescue! I'm loving this so much xx
[Report This]Date: 15 Mar 2018 10:34 PM Title: Chapter 45
OMG I CANT WAIT!!!
[Report This]Date: 15 Mar 2018 3:22 AM Title: Chapter 44
Congrats on getting through and being on the mend. I have enjoyed these chapters. I view them as character development. Bella has shone through. These suckers have no idea. I hope Edward lea4ns some anger management sometime or other. ☺️
Date: 12 Mar 2018 10:02 PM Title: Chapter 44
Love your story.
Date: 11 Mar 2018 8:11 AM Title: Chapter 44
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 10 Mar 2018 5:47 PM Title: Chapter 44
I hope you are soon feeling well
[Report This]Date: 10 Mar 2018 10:41 AM Title: Chapter 44
I hope Bella's plan to fake out the scum bags really works. I mean other scum bags are watching her expression as she looks at the mirrow too.
Date: 07 Mar 2018 7:00 PM Title: Chapter 43
I love how they know Bella so well and know that she’s far from docile. I’m glad she’s not believing their story about her dad and Harry! Looking forward to next chapter.
[Report This]Date: 07 Mar 2018 3:13 AM Title: Chapter 42
Someone really likes spankings!!
[Report This]Date: 06 Mar 2018 12:54 AM Title: Chapter 43
Another exciting, character driven chapter. Wonderful. Thanks
[Report This]Date: 05 Mar 2018 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 42
So very hot!!!!!
[Report This]Date: 04 Mar 2018 12:19 AM Title: Chapter 43
Thank you for the update..Jasper get to where Bella is now...can't wait to see what happens next...until you post again
Date: 03 Mar 2018 8:18 PM Title: Chapter 43
Omg, such a good story.
Date: 03 Mar 2018 7:54 PM Title: Chapter 43
LOVE IT!!!! Update soon PLEASE
Date: 03 Mar 2018 5:46 PM Title: Chapter 43
Smart Bella! Can't wait to see their faces when Edward and company arrive where they are holding her. BTW, since 9/11, all the usual rules of what rights prisoners are allowed has sort of gone by the wayside. People are detained here now and given no reason all the time. Sad but true!
Date: 03 Mar 2018 1:17 PM Title: Chapter 43
suite ms plus longue tu nous laisses sans fin j 'ai hate de la suite merci
[Report This]Date: 03 Mar 2018 12:43 PM Title: Chapter 43
Lol! Loved this chapter!
XoxoxoX
Alia
[Report This]Date: 03 Mar 2018 11:48 AM Title: Chapter 43
Keep on writing
Date: 03 Mar 2018 10:57 AM Title: Chapter 43
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 03 Mar 2018 7:58 AM Title: Chapter 43
Way to go Bella, I was waiting for her to realize she's being set up! Jarvis & co have hell coming after them soon enough.
[Report This]Date: 03 Mar 2018 7:46 AM Title: Chapter 43
I hope those dumb ass agents all get fired or worse. Maybe the Charlie and Harry crime scenes are photo shopped. Bella is so smart. Elezar, Tanya and Esme need some punishmwent as well. grrrr....
Date: 02 Mar 2018 6:26 PM Title: Chapter 42
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 02 Mar 2018 12:51 AM Title: Chapter 42
Ok, I think that this chapter is in the wrong place. The last chapter has Bella still being interviewed by some mistery police/fbi group. Now this one has her in the tub with Edward home early to spank her???????????????
Author's Response:
It’s an outtake to say thank you for voting x
Date: 01 Mar 2018 11:31 PM Title: Chapter 42
Wow that was Hot.....till next time, thank you ;)
Date: 01 Mar 2018 7:07 PM Title: Chapter 42
Very nice outtake. I imagined I was her. Thanks!
[Report This]Date: 01 Mar 2018 3:43 PM Title: Chapter 42
thank you for thr out take.....Your story is great!!! Keep up the good work!!! until youpost again
[Report This]Date: 01 Mar 2018 11:22 AM Title: Chapter 42
I think I wanted work spank me now!😁
[Report This]Date: 25 Feb 2018 10:46 AM Title: Chapter 41
Excellent chapter. Really enjoyed the power plays and the intrigue. Thanks
[Report This]Date: 25 Feb 2018 7:59 AM Title: Chapter 40
So exciting. Thanks
[Report This]Date: 25 Feb 2018 5:01 AM Title: Chapter 38
Really good. Enjoyed APOV. Thanks
Date: 25 Feb 2018 4:10 AM Title: Chapter 41
Loved it can’t wait for more
[Report This]Date: 24 Feb 2018 1:22 PM Title: Chapter 41
Her dad is not dead. I bet they photoshopped that pictire.
Date: 24 Feb 2018 10:12 AM Title: Chapter 40
Is that alice storming in at the end??