[Report This]Date: 17 May 2018 8:54 PM Title: Chapter 54
Esme is creepy as all fuck.
Date: 17 May 2018 8:37 PM Title: Chapter 54
Wow Esme is a crafty bitch. Glad B didn't accept his proposal yet.
Date: 17 May 2018 8:34 PM Title: Chapter 54
Same has a double life and Edward better figure it out fast. I would start getting my money back as well.
Date: 17 May 2018 4:51 PM Title: Chapter 53
I love this story. Can't wait for more.
Date: 12 May 2018 5:40 PM Title: Chapter 53
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 12 May 2018 6:21 AM Title: Chapter 53
Yay emmet and Rosalie why do I think Edwards mom is with Jarvis
Date: 12 May 2018 3:59 AM Title: Chapter 53
Glad the wedding went off well. Guessing Esme is sleeping with Jarvis Or something similar.
[Report This]Date: 12 May 2018 12:00 AM Title: Chapter 53
It looks like Esme is even stepping out on who she is already cheating with. Dam!! I would love to read her panic when she finds out Denali and Jacob are dead. I hope that Edward proposes to Bella soon.
Date: 06 May 2018 5:44 AM Title: Chapter 52
Sounds like the ladies had an awesome time.
Date: 05 May 2018 11:39 PM Title: Chapter 52
Thanks for the chapter. I think it's a good sign that you can no longer keep up with the reviews. It means you have loads of them! Good going! I know I love to read your work, even the bloody stuff like this! This chapter was a mix of humor and blood. Just a day in the life of a typical mobster. Not hardly! You made all of it shine!
Date: 05 May 2018 8:51 PM Title: Chapter 52
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 05 May 2018 8:38 PM Title: Chapter 52
I love it. Keep them coming! I’ll like to see a Esme POV.
Date: 05 May 2018 4:59 PM Title: Chapter 52
I need a girls night like they had!! Time to make some phone calls. LOL. I can’t wait for the wedding. I love this story so much. I’ll be anxiously waiting for the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: 05 May 2018 3:29 PM Title: Chapter 52
Oh my, interesting story, I just don't like the killing, but it is that kind of story, carry on
Date: 05 May 2018 2:11 PM Title: Chapter 52
Would love to read a double wedding or Bella feel left out and ask Edward to marry her instead
[Report This]Date: 05 May 2018 8:38 AM Title: Chapter 52
Well they cleaned up the only biters to try and hit Edward and Carlisle. I can't wait until Elezar, Esme and Aro go down as well. I liked Edward's thoughts of a double wedding.
Date: 01 May 2018 8:11 PM Title: Chapter 51
wow B is gonna get Seth's nuts shot off if he's not careful. Glad B is helping Rosie out.
Ack I need a new chapter and soon. Plz and TY
Author's Response:
Loved watching your reviews as you finished a chapter. New one up at the weekend xx
Date: 01 May 2018 8:04 PM Title: Chapter 50
wow They are trying to put Em as the patsy? Just wow.
Date: 01 May 2018 7:57 PM Title: Chapter 49
wondering if Rosie is implicit in this....or being blackmailed somehow. carlisle is def a cool cookie
Date: 01 May 2018 7:50 PM Title: Chapter 48
Sounds like E gave her what she needed. Can't fault him for not being able to talk to her about stuff
Date: 01 May 2018 7:44 PM Title: Chapter 47
Yea MamaC has really screwed the pooch it seems. Sucks for A, Em , & E and PapaC
Date: 01 May 2018 6:34 PM Title: Chapter 46
hmmm Wondering which side Call is actually on. Can't blame B for having to ask, but a little calmer would have been better. Don't think E's going to take it well
Date: 01 May 2018 6:27 PM Title: Chapter 45
Ah, the Governor's message finally made it there. Can't wait until these pricks all go down for this crap they are pulling. I hope Charlie is ok
OMG Tell these people to write their own story if they want to dictate timelines to you. Jeez
Date: 01 May 2018 6:21 PM Title: Chapter 44
Bella is such a smart cookie. Can't wait until they all go down for screwing with her.
Date: 01 May 2018 6:14 PM Title: Chapter 43
Hope Jasper really is on the up and up. LOVE Bella not falling for all the crap these supposed agents are putting out
Date: 01 May 2018 6:08 PM Title: Chapter 42
Wowsers HAWTNESS
Date: 01 May 2018 5:55 PM Title: Chapter 41
Ah so I'm guessing Charlie is still alive then. Those two really want to die horrible deaths, esp denali.
Date: 01 May 2018 5:46 PM Title: Chapter 40
OMG Denali really wants to die, doesn't he? Glad B isn't falling for all this crap. I wonder if Charlie is really dead or just photoshopped pics.
Date: 01 May 2018 5:26 PM Title: Chapter 38
Yea sounds like this Aro dude and Denali are all into this crap. Wonder how much mommy dearest is involved? Ack questions questions questions
Date: 01 May 2018 5:13 PM Title: Chapter 37
Oh Aro...you better hope that Charlie really isn't dead; you sneaky SOB.
Date: 01 May 2018 5:04 PM Title: Chapter 36
Yea her going with the agents was soooo not a smart idea.
Date: 01 May 2018 4:39 PM Title: Chapter 35
Love that B is being reasonable about safety. Jarvis not being in the system is def suspect.
Write your story how you like. They are your characters and plot.
Date: 01 May 2018 4:33 PM Title: Chapter 34
His mother is def working with someone.... wonder if she's bonking Denali on the side. hmmm
Date: 01 May 2018 4:26 PM Title: Chapter 33
Wow Jarvis and his team are really getting way to close. Wonder what mother dearest is going to say now
Date: 01 May 2018 3:56 PM Title: Chapter 32
wow Jarvis is really stepping things up. Denali or denali Hired. Has to be.
Date: 01 May 2018 3:50 PM Title: Chapter 31
hmmm now you have me thinking that Mr Denali is or hired Jarvis. Esme really needs to back off before she really screws up her life.
Date: 01 May 2018 3:44 PM Title: Chapter 30
Yea mother dearest is going to be a PITA. Love the banter between E and B. Wonder when her Dad will be arriving in this story.
Date: 01 May 2018 3:38 PM Title: Chapter 29
ooh that was hawt
Date: 01 May 2018 3:23 PM Title: Chapter 28
Yea his mother is a real piece of work having lunch with the cheating skank. Em really need to get a chill pill. Its no wonder E doesn't want them socializing so much. Its like he's trying to attract attention to himself.
Date: 01 May 2018 3:16 PM Title: Chapter 27
aww for the snuggling. Go Bella. Wake that man up.
Date: 01 May 2018 3:05 PM Title: Chapter 26
LOL for them both being combustible. Yea I'm not liking the Skankya wrench thrown in. Hope Jasper isn't hiding something.
Date: 01 May 2018 2:45 PM Title: Chapter 25
Well they are starting to talk. LOL for her making him choke though.
[Report This]Date: 01 May 2018 2:36 PM Title: Chapter 24
hmm I'd not considered her mother in any of this. The Jarvis thing is just so creepy. I am waffling between the militariness of the kidnapping being related to Jarvis and it being a separate thing.
Ack to many 
Date: 01 May 2018 2:28 PM Title: Chapter 23
hmm, Jarvis is more and more creepy. Wondering if its a woman using a voice modifier, the Feds playing a game, or just a creepo that has nothing to do with Quil's abduction
Date: 01 May 2018 2:18 PM Title: Chapter 22
Glad Em is there for her. This Jarvis guy really needs to be taken out. Of course, there are like 30 more chapters so don't think that is going to happen any time soon.
Date: 01 May 2018 2:18 PM Title: Chapter 22
Glad Em is there for her. This Jarvis guy really needs to be taken out. Of course, there are like 30 more chapters so don't think that is going to happen any time soon.
Date: 01 May 2018 2:10 PM Title: Chapter 21
E is such a loose cannon. Em should be careful. He is right to want private time though. Alice would def so up otherwise.
Date: 01 May 2018 2:02 PM Title: Chapter 20
Glad they are getting to know each other a bit.
Date: 01 May 2018 4:07 AM Title: Chapter 19
Interesting start to their first date. They are both going to have to give a little I think. THinking his mommy dearest isn't going to like this one bit.
Date: 01 May 2018 3:47 AM Title: Chapter 18
Wow trying to pawn off minors to him... or close enough to minor. Brood Mare indeed.
Wonder how the date will go.
Date: 01 May 2018 3:34 AM Title: Chapter 17
yea mama can't help but meddle. Sigh.
Date: 01 May 2018 1:43 AM Title: Chapter 16
wow I actually guessed right. This guy's been following her for 2 years. Ack
Date: 30 Apr 2018 10:59 PM Title: Chapter 15
LOVE Alice and Em. Glad E took the time to have a little conversation.
I prefer the Wierd Al version of Happy..LOL
Oh wait...... just thought of something. Is her stalker that young dude that she showed the property too?
Date: 30 Apr 2018 10:51 PM Title: Chapter 14
They really need to slip E some valium. Jeez.
Yea the music thing would annoy the heck out of me too
LOL Jasper and E are both behind the curve with the girls. Hell Rosie's already met her too.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 10:29 PM Title: Chapter 13
Cant blame her for wanting to return everything. LOL for her and Em's interaction. smile on his face indeed.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 10:24 PM Title: Chapter 12
Ah so the restaurant lady is related to Rose. Wonder why Rose isn't working there? hmm
Bella is too smart for her own good sometimes. You've got my mind spinning about this mystery man.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 10:13 PM Title: Chapter 11
Maybe the creepo is Mr Denali? hmmm. Hope Em and Rose can get more time soon. Sucks he's got to take so much of his time.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 10:02 PM Title: Chapter 10
lol for her freezer safe. ewww Creepy end
Date: 30 Apr 2018 9:27 PM Title: Chapter 9
You scared me for a moment with the Irina thing. Glad he realizes that it would be a bad idea. Still loved B telling E off. Don't think the buying thing is going to get him any points with her though. Alice is too funny
Date: 30 Apr 2018 9:20 PM Title: Chapter 8
E is really making this so much harder for himself. Surprised Charlie or the Feds haven't popped up yet.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 9:15 PM Title: Chapter 7
Sigh men.... Denali is such a moron to fall for that setup. He's lucky E is giving the skank anything.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 9:08 PM Title: Chapter 6
hmmm Love her reaction to Carlisle and the other sleeze. Also liked her finding the tracker too.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 8:57 PM Title: Chapter 5
wow Skanya is really a conniving woman. Too bad she couldn't keep her legs closed.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 8:49 PM Title: Chapter 4
Love Bella catching all her watchers. Unfortunately the feds will prob track her down now since Daddy looked up the plates.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 8:43 PM Title: Chapter 3
Wonder if Em is a little slow or if he just likes messing with E a little. E is a dangerous dude though. Think something really huge will have to happen for B to want anything to do with him.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 8:36 PM Title: Chapter 2
Poor Em. E needs a bit of a personality transplant. LOL.
Date: 30 Apr 2018 8:30 PM Title: Chapter 1
Oh my. Did E not hear the part about the cop Daddy? Nice start. Can't wait to see where you take it.
[Report This]Date: 30 Apr 2018 4:26 PM Title: Chapter 51
thank you for the update...yes Edward will have there balls..lol..until you post again
Date: 30 Apr 2018 4:40 AM Title: Chapter 51
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 29 Apr 2018 9:07 PM Title: Chapter 51
Jarvis is following them. This should be on Bella as she is the one who forgot to call. Knowing Edward, he will probably take it out on Quil and Seth. At least Bella and Rosalie got everything they needed for the wedding, thanks to Alice! Love that Bella was remembering about Edward fucking her hard on that hard couch....thanks!
[Report This]Date: 29 Apr 2018 7:56 PM Title: Chapter 51
He sure is a ballsy fuck the law kind of FIB guy. Dam!
Date: 29 Apr 2018 5:39 PM Title: Chapter 51
I’m so happy for Emmett and Rose. I love that Rose and Bella get along so well and went shopping together. I see Jarvis hasn’t gone anywhere. I so love this story. I can’t wait for the next chapter!!!
[Report This]Date: 24 Apr 2018 3:33 PM Title: Chapter 50
Thank you for the update...well done...Emmett is going to marry his Rosie!!! to funny...Bella will have to tell Edward how she feels maybe they will have a double wedding..naw, I'm sure the next time we hear form Emmett he will already be married...until you post again
Date: 22 Apr 2018 2:06 AM Title: Chapter 50
Wow! I can’t believe Esme would put a hit out on her own son! She is one seriously sick woman! I can’t wait for her and Denali to get what they deserve!!
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2018 11:49 PM Title: Chapter 50
So very good. The tension is building and the plot is thickening. Thank you.
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2018 10:19 PM Title: Chapter 50
It sounds like Edward and Bella both need to admit their feelings. Esme and Elezar both need to go. ugh.......
Date: 21 Apr 2018 8:30 PM Title: Chapter 50
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 21 Apr 2018 8:23 PM Title: Chapter 50
I think it's a good sign that he's giving her details. To me, it shows that he means to marry her and that he really does card. I think she knows that, but actually seeing it happen might just cinch the deal. Could Emmett really be in on the planned attempts on him and his father? Or is that just a ruse someone is putting out? Seems to me it could maybe be true, but I'm not sure. I'm loving this story! Thanks!
Date: 21 Apr 2018 5:38 PM Title: Chapter 50
What a mess. Seems Denali is very busy. Since tube plan to hurt the other families involve the ones you trust in ending Denali and perhaps his mothrr
E ones
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2018 1:21 AM Title: Chapter 49
Excellent. Thanks
[Report This]Date: 21 Apr 2018 12:51 AM Title: Chapter 48
Ah! Everyone will lose something as this betrayal resolves itself
[Report This]Date: 20 Apr 2018 11:46 PM Title: Chapter 47
An understandable reaction to her kidnaping. Thank you for writing
Date: 18 Apr 2018 3:56 AM Title: Chapter 49
Loved it can’t wait for more
Date: 15 Apr 2018 2:42 PM Title: Chapter 49
Oh No!! Please tell me Rose is not a spy!! Hopefully they are trying to blackmail her into their evil skeem to take over the 'family' business???? I hope she comes completely clean with Emmett and tell them of their demands...
Date: 14 Apr 2018 8:08 PM Title: Chapter 49
Now they know OF the plot but still aren't sure exactly WHAT the plot is. Thanks for the chapter. I love reading you.
Date: 14 Apr 2018 4:29 PM Title: Chapter 49
Aww I think Rosalie was being treated by esme I really don’t want her to be part of esmes plan
Date: 14 Apr 2018 11:43 AM Title: Chapter 49
Can't wait to hear from Rosie
Date: 14 Apr 2018 11:30 AM Title: Chapter 49
Uh oh! I wonder what is up with Rose. Esme always claimed to dislike Rose and talked about her as though she were beneath her. I can’t wait for the next chapter. I can’t wait to find out what Rose has to say for herself.
[Report This]Date: 14 Apr 2018 9:15 AM Title: Chapter 49
Esme and fucking Elezar are probably trying to black mail Rose. I hate people like that th at would turn on their own family. ugh....
[Report This]Date: 13 Apr 2018 11:38 AM Title: Chapter 48
Love your story can't wait to read more
Date: 13 Apr 2018 1:56 AM Title: Chapter 2
Hello, Alicia. I read Chapter 1 and just finished Chapter 2. I speculate you are using British English. I don't know if you follow American English or dialogue rules. This is constructive criticism. In dialogue, there is always a comma in front of the character's name and after the name when talking to another character. However, if the dialogue begins with the other character's name, there is no comma in front of the name (obviously). If you are talking about a character to another character, there are no commas to separate the name.
Example: (Emmett is talking to Edward). I'm right here, Boss. Boss is a nickname or other name for who Edward is and there is always a comma in front of the nickname; if Emmett said Edward instead of Boss.
I noticed that you separated words such as courthouse to court house, and didn't hyphenate brother-in-law, or when one talks about age, it should be written as, twenty-eight-years-old.
You have a good storyline and I will continue reading. Do you have a beta that helps you or could help you? Again, I am not very familiar with British English other than knowing one doesn't put periods after Mr, Mrs, and other titles such as this. I usually don't use reviews as I rather use PMs. I don't know if Stars has those available or not. I don't remember seeing it.
Hope some of what I recommended you find useful.
Date: 11 Apr 2018 1:20 AM Title: Chapter 48
Uh oh! They’ve sealed their fate! Their time left is ticking down! But how awful to know your mom has betrayed you and your family. Can’t imagine. I’ll be anxiously waiting for the next chapter!
Date: 08 Apr 2018 5:40 PM Title: Chapter 48
Loved it can’t wait for more