Date: 02 Nov 2012 8:39 PM Title: Chapter 18
Wow, Jasper's going to have a permanent reminder of what went on in that elevator, he's always going to know exactly where Edward's cum was running down the wall. It's not wrong of him to want more......I want more, lol.
Now, I know you've been flamed and I'm not here to do that. I'm the last person to even pretend I know everything especially when I'm not brave enough to post anything I write. You have a really good story and if you haven't got a beta you need one or maybe just check more carefully before you post. You change your tenses within your sentences from past to present and vice versa. Uncomfort is not a word it would either be uncomfortable or discomfort and seethed would be used more like 'I seethed with anger,' you meant sheathed, all of these things a beta would pick up for you.
I hope you take this in the spirit it's intended, you have a good story and with a little bit of attention it will be even better. I can't wait to read more.
Date: 02 Nov 2012 6:15 PM Title: Chapter 3
Oh my God! Poor Jasper. "It's not what it looks like." What the fuck? What else could it look like? Maybe if Felix was a urologist it might be a bit different.........nah, it is what it is and he should grow up and stop with the whiny excuse. I hope Rosalie hunts him down and gives him hell. Lol.
Date: 19 Oct 2012 2:30 AM Title: Chapter 14
I have always considered myself a writer. A writer or poetry, stories, little saying etc and it has only been recently that i have decided to share what i have written.
I have posted a story on Fan Fiction using the characters from vampire academy and will finish that before i start on my twilight ones.
My point is you should really be worried about reviews but more on the fact that writting makes you feel. Dont get me wrong it is always nice to see what others think but dont let the lack there of stop you from continuing your story.