I admit, I'm horrible at reviewing chapter for chapter but this was an amazing chapter, btw I love those last two lines. Great story so far

It is interesting reading how you wrote this story. I don't know how I agree with this line of thought as BDSM is supposed to be about trust and the desire from both sides, but well done nonetheless

I say again, POOR BELLA. Evil Jasper

I'd say it was Stockholme Syndrome, but that isn't it, Bella's just a natural masochist

I'm going to say it just once, Bella's screwed, literally

It's interesting, watching this forced submission you have created from Bella, she wants this, but she doesn't want to want this.

*scratches head* I think Roslie is wierd

The St. Andrews Cross is so much fun (oops, you didn't hear me say that)

This story is amazing, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. I can't wait to read and review more. I loved the details that you went into though I can't imagine where you got that kind of an imagination from. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Great chapter, I need to read the next one.

I loved this story, though I am seriously sad to see it go so soon after I started reading it.

Just a thought, perhaps you would want to a one-shot, or something like that of their wedding night. I am a sucker for lemons, and it would be nice to see a lemon of just Edward and her now that Carlisle and Carlisle's Edward is out of the picture.

I don't know about a confrontation, but Bella seems like a smart girl and she has been bitten twice now. Even if the bites are on her inner thigh, that isn't an impossible spot to see the scar of the bite marks. I'm pretty sure she might be able to put two and two together. Plus, it looks like she is beginning to realize that her dreams aren't dreams after all, but memories. I love the story, and can't wait for the next chapter.

Another great chapter, I can't wait to read the next

Bravo you, well wrote, though a horrid cliffy. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Interesting chapter, evil place to leave it, I look forward to reading the next chapter.

Great chapter. I look forward to the next. I don't know how Edward's wake up call is going to happen just that shit is going to hit the fan really soon.

That a tight packed chapter, I look forward to reading the next.

Dang you with the cliffy, need next chapter.

Another great chapter, I look forwrad to the next.

Ah hell... Next chapter please? *puppy dog eyes*

Uh-oh, next chapter please?

Next chapter please?

I'm so sad this story ended, I loved it while it lasted.

I just finished this story and maybe I'll make you a banner for it as well

interesting... looking forward to the next chapter.

You know what I want to see, the sexual tension in this story is fucking painful. I don't care if they have actual sex, for god sakes just some relief would be nice, you know oral or fisted. I don't care just some damn relief.

Finally, please let something actually happen

Well, that was HOT (interesting doesn't fit there). And god I need a cold shower. I'm not so hormonal anymore in matter of fact the boys were born, you can go see them if you like (or pictures of them anyways)

http://adarkertwilight.blogspot.com/2010/08/lots-of-happy-news.html

Interesting chapter, I look forward to the next

It's an amazingly well wrote chapter.

I love the story, it is great

Great story, I'll miss reading it

Great lemony outtake; I'll try to figure out a lemon for here as well. I don't know if you found out what a round robin is yet, but just in case you haven't; a round robin is an open story where you write a chapter and then someone who likes the story could write their own chapter and add it to the story. (Basically the only type of stories its good for is an all smut story where there is really no rhyme or reason, just a bunch of good fun)

Great job sis, hey I believe I already told you that.

Grrr... evil cliffy

Great chapter

Great chapter

Wow, this sounds like a real intriguing story. I look forward to reading the next.

Dang you, I can't believe you ended it there. That is evil, and the the heck (a few other choice expletives fit better) is it with the short chapter. I need the next one.

Dang you guys with the cliffies, do you have no other capabilities in you. I am currently hormone dosed as I am pregnant with twin so get that next dag nab chapter out. Please *doe eyes, on knees, hands together, begging*

hmmm... maybe you missed my sister mentioning that Jacque was gay (and trust me he's done a lot more fooling around than that - I ought to know, as he lives me now... Our parents are hard-core catholic and didn't take it very well AT ALL when he came out. In matter of fact they pretty much kicked him out, so now he lives with me and ninety percent of time it seems like his boyfriend does to)

Okay I love that Bella seemed to have become a Dom in many ways in this chapter, it was interesting it reminds me of me.

Let me start from the beginning, I analyze too, but not like my sis. But before I begin anything that I say that sounds offensive is not meant to offend you just to point it out. I have always loved poetry, fiction, and fantasy so I have spent a lot of time learning words and phrases that are too often used. So on the things that I say that sound negative it is merely meant to point out something you may want to refraim from doing in the future. They are suggestions, not requesents. Mere things that I have noticed.

The start of your second line begins As Shakespeare wrote. These words are fairly cliche and are used way to often. Generally these words are supposed to sound romantic but they come across as 'I want to sound smart so I impress you that way we can have a quick fuck and then I'm gone'. It actually works in the context you put it in, but generally it is best to stay away from those words. Instead saying 'a great playwright once wrote' or 'a wise man once wrote' looks less cliche, or just stating the meat with no preamble is probably the best.

Our lips clung more firming, our breath mingling as we began gloriously exploring and tasting each others’ succulent lips. 

This is a well-wrote description of two perfectly matched sets of lips. You should reuse it in other stories. It describes it well without any overdescription. It catches a reader's eyes, but it doesn't demand them to swallow a mouthful from one kiss. Simple yet strong.

 Having divined the depth of his chivalrous character, I suspected I would need to make the next step. 

Careful, he isn't a god, and all human men have a devil in them. This is the ideal a lot of women have about men, that they are perfect angels. But this isn't the case. Once again this definitely aims more toward fanatical than reality. It is well-wrote, just doesn't sit right with most of the story, which seems more realistic.

I led him into the bedroom.  It was full of candles of all types: pillars, candelabras, and tea lights floating in crystal bowls of water dotted with fragrant rose petals.  

The bed had been turned down all the way to the foot in our absence.  I released his hand as we arrived at the bed.  He watched me with rapt attention as I took up the long slender lighter and lit each candle before switching off the harsh lighting of the lamp.  Crossing the room, I came to stand before him again.  The flickering warm light of the candles was reflected in his beautiful eyes, and I was overcome with want and need.

This braces fanatical, but it is still realistic. Too much romantic 'stuff' in a room and it falls over the edge though. And be careful rose petals, while romantic, are cliche to an extreme, especially in writing. It is better to say 'the smell of roses filled the air'

His arms rose up, seemingly of their own volition, to embrace me firmly.  It felt like home – safe, secure, an invitation to be completely open. 

Though bracing fanatical, there is a devine reality to this line. It is well-wrote. And it has that ideal dream most females have about men, but there is also that taste of reality. It's good and it works.

(Okay this is for me more than you. I am ending for now, and since my sister and I each agreed to do thirty,  I have eighteen more to do.)

We floated closer to the bed

It's nicely worded. But if you are aiming for a more realistic approach it would be better to say, 'we practically floated', 'we lightly stepped', or 'we danced'. Most of your story aims toward realistic yet there are moments like this where it is worded in the fanatical realm. You always have to be careful of that.

Nonetheless it was well wrote.

Emboldened, I slipped off his bowtie and began unbuttoning his shirt, amazed at my ability to multi-task both lips and fingers.

I'm a little worried here, this certainly makes it sound like she isn't a virgin. As a general rule, the first time is ackward, slow, and insecure. This is moving along rather rapidly, and there's something about the steadiness and rapid movement that occurs. It makes it sound like she's had experience in this are. Very few (if any) women know what to do their first time. And she clearly knows what she is doing. This was wrote by you guys, and I bet neither of you are virgins. (The next time you write a 'first lemon' scene, try to go back in your ming to your first time) Make it realistic, people will relate to it more.

Once again no offense intended.

I allowed my hands to slide to the hem of his undershirt, dragging it up, my eyes never leaving his in our slow dance of discovery.  He courteously lifted his arms allowing me to pull the stretched material over his head and drop it at our sides, his eyes blazing green with passion.

I like it, it sounds realistic, and much more virginesque (by both parties)

Oh, God.

Mentle babble, it works for this story. I notice a lot of stories like to add mentle babble, but generally it cuts from the story. It makes a reader go 'What the fuck?' And then they have to re-read that section so they can understand what just happened (usually several times). Always make sure mentle babble adds to the story, and doesn't destroy it.

Like I said, it works here.