[Report This]Date: 19 Apr 2014 12:07 PM Title: Chapter 37
Oh my god what a cliffy!!!! Great chapter! Please don't make us wait for to long for the next one!!!!!
Date: 19 Apr 2014 10:32 AM Title: Chapter 37
Great scene, realistic (some authors don't remember he is a vampire, so inherently dangerous), But he has bitten her ...
Ah, btw, the criminal should get his just deserts (If you write desserts it seems that the Police would give him cake)
Author's Response: Doh! I hate it when I spell things wrong! (thanks)
Date: 19 Apr 2014 5:08 AM Title: Chapter 34
Charming recreation of the Rio street scene from the movie. Without mention of Edward's slightly sheer blue shirt, though :).
Oh my gosh, the limo was ‘still in the middle of the street when they got back to it, the driver totally oblivious to the other commuters who frequently honked their horns for him to move...' In this country we get annoyed enough at the arrogance of money, this sounds even more outrageous.
After around 30 hours of traveling, she definitely needed to sleep! Sweet: ‘He was amazed. She had the softest of soft mattresses to sleep on but seemed to prefer lying on his marble body.'
A fun moment:
‘"I told Charlie I wanted to be changed." She said casually as she ate her breakfast. ... Edward had been putting the milk back in the fridge when she said it and he almost dropped it in shock.'
"There are a lot of disadvantages to being so young, you know." He would certainly know!
Hmm, this is getting more like canon, where Edward is having to put the brakes on Bella's libido. But thank goodness, he's only slowing them down to make sure she's ready, not crashing to a dead halt.
Snicker: ‘Bella gasped and slapped him, making her fingers tingle, either from the bond or the fact that she had just slapped rock.'
Never thought of this: "I guess [the caretakers] were surprised, in all the years we have been coming we have never asked for human food before." That would definitely get Kaure's radar going.
What a delightful start to their time on the island.
Date: 18 Apr 2014 4:05 AM Title: Chapter 36
sounds like she is getting more comfortable with E.
[Report This]Date: 15 Apr 2014 4:09 PM Title: Chapter 36
Alice's texting with all the ping's is great!
"She almost snorted her hot chocolate out of her nose" lol I hate when that happens::))
Wouldn't bother me at all if Edward had a good meal:)
[Report This]Date: 14 Apr 2014 1:47 PM Title: Chapter 36
The island sounds idilic, peaceful, just what she needs.
Date: 14 Apr 2014 4:21 AM Title: Chapter 33
How nice: ‘...the land that Carlisle had signed over to the couple to go with their new house.' And thank goodness she's actually excited about it! Aww, sweet moment at the threshhold.
Snicker: Bella ‘...dismissed it all from her mind as she turned and firmly closed the door on the horror she had seen.' (the huge closet stocked by Alice)
How lovely that someone took the time to select just the right personal photos for their new home.
Wow, Bella has made up her mind to be changed! Good for Charlie: "I knew this was coming the day you caught the fever at first beach." Yeah, he got an eyeful that day.
"We can keep in touch until you get past that awkward phase..." That awkward phase? Understatement of the year, giggle. Oh my gosh, Charlie intervened with the wolves!
Good detail: "That is why we take so long hunting, we scout the area first to make sure there's no humans about before we actually start to hunt."
It was thoughtful of Alice to provide some "research" that might actually be useful to Bella. And Emmett, sharing from his experience with Rose, about not only physical issues but also emotional. "...no matter how much she wasn't ready, emotionally, for a physical connection, the bond would not be denied. It is going to happen." Good to know.
Date: 13 Apr 2014 9:52 PM Title: Chapter 36
It had to happen, I suppose, there hasn't been any trouble for a month, so it stands to reason that a trip to the mainland would become dangerous! Lucky thing Edward arrived when he did, though, because the drunks in the cantina would have been no help! Now Bella just has to convince her husband to let the miscreant go, and not kill him!
Date: 13 Apr 2014 7:33 PM Title: Chapter 36
OMG, apart from everything (I hope Edward doesn't kill the jerk) the need to find a way to each other.
Date: 09 Apr 2014 5:50 AM Title: Chapter 32
Good detail: ‘Only long practise at blending in with the humans gave the Cullen's and their ilk a reason to sit, lay or move at all.'
Yup, this is Carlisle all right: ‘the light of new discovery in his eyes'. A little later ‘his father's mind was moving so fast that even Edward was having trouble following his thoughts.' Impressive!
Funny moment when Jasper says "Bella is... uncomfortable", and Edward panics thinking it's physical pain, but it turns out to be that "Alice has got to the underwear." (And then Edward is uncomfortable too...)
Hmm, Jasper is dissatisfied with Jenks' response to Renee's lawyer: ‘he should have acted normal and pretended to do the search and just not found anything instead of almost screaming in fear at the mention of their names.' I wonder if Jasper's "well chosen words" might just reinforce that reaction!
Good job on Bella's sleep talking. Especially on Emmett playing with her.
I like that this time, Alice's visions of Bella as a vampire get through Edward's hard head. After multiple brushes with disaster, ‘the sight of her so vital and alive, even though dead, was just the push he needed to truly consider it.' Smart of Alice to wait until he's a little bit receptive before choosing to share more of them.
‘{If she wants it, I will turn her.} he promised.' Yaay!
And after Bella's dream "dry humping", ‘He had never in his life felt anything approaching how he felt at that moment. If asked to describe it he wouldn't have been able to.' Nice. Between the discussions with Carlisle about the mate bond, Alice's visions, and now a shared orgasm, this has been quite an evening for him! I like too that Alice, Esme, and Carlisle discreetly say nothing about it, or even more difficult, think nothing.
Arrrgh, of course she doesn't want to leave until she sees Charlie settled in his new situation! Thank goodness Edward has the sense not to protest (even though Charlie agrees with him).
Aww: ‘...everyone she loved was in that room with her. The bonds that tied the family together now included her, and her father.'
Interesting: ‘Jasper touched her shoulder, allowing his talent to penetrate whatever barrier she had...'
Charming: ‘For some reason she felt disappointed, did this mean they wouldn't...do IT? Even though she had been reluctant to do... IT... only ten minutes before suddenly she wanted to know why they couldn't.'
What!? She wants to bring Charlie on their honeymoon? Wow is he ever thoughtful, bringing up Jasper and Alice as an alternative. Edward ‘looked hurt even as he suggested it. She had done that! She didn't mean to...' Maybe she's slowly learning to think about his feelings too.
[Report This]Date: 07 Apr 2014 8:39 PM Title: Chapter 35
"He remembered a particularly embarrassing incident with Emmett and a pair of thin cotton shorts and Rose in a bikini" lol lol lovely visual::))
Date: 07 Apr 2014 2:42 AM Title: Chapter 35
This story is really great. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Date: 05 Apr 2014 12:21 AM Title: Chapter 35
Kaure is going to keep an eye on Edward to make sure he doesn't kill his bride! Bless her heart, she is brave as well as foolish! If he is what she fears, how could she do anything to to stop him? Poor Edward, it's getting to be all he can do to stay away from Bella and their bed! I predict that it's going to become too much for both of them, and soon!
[Report This]Date: 05 Apr 2014 12:17 AM Title: Chapter 35
What do we think Edward's reaction is going to be?????
Date: 04 Apr 2014 7:55 PM Title: Chapter 35
lol for Alice and her bikini. I love backgammon too but never got the gambling die thing either
Date: 04 Apr 2014 7:02 PM Title: Chapter 35
love this story sooo good
update soon please
Date: 04 Apr 2014 3:24 PM Title: Chapter 35
I have totally forgotten why they can't make love or at least give each other release. Can you remind me? Not remembering I can't appreciate the situation. Thanks
Author's Response: Because Edward knows that when he climaxes he may not be in control enough to hold back his strength or bloodlust.
Date: 02 Apr 2014 6:44 PM Title: Chapter 34
Bella is getting braver. It won't be long before she is ready for him.
Date: 02 Apr 2014 5:10 AM Title: Chapter 31
Wow, very perceptive of Edward to notice that when Bella was awake ‘her life had given her a guarded expression most of the time' and ‘you could see the burden she carried'. ‘...but when she slept the weight lifted off her...' So few people have ever gotten close enough to Bella to see this difference.
Entirely believable that Renee would have had her lawyer looking closely at the Cullens.
A new experience for Bella, having someone to help when Charlie needs care.
It's a little worrying that Bella keeps noticing reactions that might be related to the mating bond, but doesn't talk to Edward about it because she's ‘afraid to worry him'. What if it's something important?
The nurse turns out to be an unexpected source of sound advice for Bella. I imagine Bella sees her as a neutral party, and will listen to her more than she would one of the Cullens.
Nicely said: ‘What would it be like? She wondered, to know that no matter how much time you spent doing something, you had still infinite time to do everything else.'
Hmm, a honeymoon on Isle Esme - I wonder how that will go... Lots of time to get used to one another.
Date: 02 Apr 2014 4:46 AM Title: Chapter 30
Boy, how obnoxious did Renee have to be to get to this point: ‘Charlie could tell her lawyer wasn't impressed by his client's attitude either.'
Hmm, well I guess that's as good a reason as any to choose to marry right away. Bella's getting better at thinking through her first emotional reactions. (And at least she doesn't have to deal with an Alice-organized wedding circus.)
What a tough position for Charlie: ‘How much he regretted pushing his daughter into marriage at 17, just to save her from her mother...' Interesting that as Edward speaks about Renee, ‘...to protect Bella from the sheer hatred in his voice he spoke to his father in a pitch she couldn't hear.'
Nice: ‘At last she could recognise it, the warm glow Edward put into her life wasn't just safety, it was love and happiness.'
A good way to describe her sleepiness: ‘Her head nodded as her blinks were harder and harder to recover from.'
Lovely use of a canon line from a similar setting: ‘"Where would I go?" he asked.'
Oh my gosh the arrogance of this woman! ‘Renée looked at the [restraining order] papers in disbelief and tore them in half without giving them a second glance.' Very selfless of Charlie to allow her to assault him, getting her locked up where she can't get to Bella.
Date: 29 Mar 2014 2:43 AM Title: Chapter 34
Bella just can't get over the Cullen attitude towards money, it's hard for her to accept having anything and everything a person wants! I think she likes the island and will probably enjoy it a lot more when she gets caught uop on her sleep! I hope this honeymoon turns out to be all they both want it to be.
Date: 29 Mar 2014 12:18 AM Title: Chapter 34
Great start to their alone time. Island sounds wonderful
Date: 27 Mar 2014 5:10 AM Title: Chapter 29
Well said: ‘...her eyes had a look in them he had hoped never to see again, a human accepting their death.'
Wow this is serious: ‘...he realised that the skull his fingers were cradling was soft. She had more than a concussion this time, he could feel and hear the bones grate against each other, he stopped moving his hand immediately.' A good detail: ‘though he would have sworn it was impossible for someone like him, he actually felt sick.'
It was more serious too, in that Edward was trapped between the vehicles and had to choose between the chance of someone realizing what he had done, and having to leave Bella alone while injured.
It's definitely useful to have Charlie as an ally in managing the accident scene!
A difficult moment for Edward: ‘{Edward? I know you are listening, one of us needs to stay close for the next day or so, at any second we may have to step in and change her.} Edward closed his eyes in grief... He had expected that if Bella wasn't changed that he would have 60 or 70 years with her, not less than a week!'
Interesting observation, about parents burying their children. ‘His grandparents had had seven children and only his father and Aunt Molly survived to adulthood.' True. Clever surgical use of a bit of venom.
Very good: ‘In fact the only time they moved was when the nurses came into the room to take her vitals, it was like watching a sculpture park suddenly come to life, and then freeze again when the human left, Charlie said.'
Vivid: ‘It was amazing that the room hadn't seemed crowded before when all 7 Cullen's and Charlie were in there with her, but add just Renée and the room suddenly wasn't big enough. There didn't seem to be enough oxygen.'
Yaay: ‘Emmett, Jasper and Rose moved between the hospital bed and the visitor, blocking her line of sight and making it quite clear that they would not allow Renée near to her again.' It made me smile when Esme calmly and firmly removed Renee's hand from Carlisle.
Poor Bella, the last thing she needs is her high-maintenance mother at a time like this.
Date: 27 Mar 2014 4:42 AM Title: Chapter 28
This is a nice solution: ‘She ate a little off everyone's tray as usual...' And at last, Edward gets the scale right, buying her a Snickers bar instead of a $100 box of chocolates.
Well finally, Edward sees that good things can happen when he allows a little space: ‘In the afternoon she felt more than comfortable with Edward near her, she actually found herself moving to be close to him if they drifted apart at all.'
This makes good sense: ‘She pulled over in the car park of a store and turned to Jasper. "I need you to tell me what I'm feeling." She stated.' If you don't understand how to interpret the emotions running through you, ask an empath!
A good thought: ‘[Jasper's] voice was soft with the Texan accent that was heavier than usually heard nowadays as he had got it before radio and Television made people start to speak a more standardised language.'
Nice:
‘...she remembered back, the very second he touched her and the warm feeling flooded back into her, "I felt..."
"Safe." [Jasper] said.' Something new for her.
A good explanation: "Charlie loves you enormously, but he is rather unable to show it... for the same reason you are, long before Renée hurt you she destroyed your father." From what we've seen of her, she's more than capable of doing serious damage to an idealistic young man.
Snicker: ‘She got a couple of steaks out of the freezer, pleased that for once there was something in there that didn't spend its whole life in water.'
Charming: ‘She came to the realisation that Edward Cullen was dangerous to her. Even if he just looked in her direction her brain dribbled out of her ears and she found herself saying things she didn't really mean... things like... yes.'
An interesting reaction, when the van is approaching (again): ‘Her eyes lifted to where Edward was stood, at the top of the steps, she tried to apologise to him with her glance.' Because she knows how hard this will be for him, I'm guessing.
[Report This]Date: 27 Mar 2014 3:34 AM Title: Chapter 33
Emmett is an extremely intelligent idiot::))
[Report This]Date: 27 Mar 2014 2:18 AM Title: Chapter 32
"Don't let the pig eat the book," "Why Bella?" "Because, it's blue." lol lol
[Report This]Date: 26 Mar 2014 5:00 PM Title: Chapter 33
I have read this story straight through to this point and I love it.
Date: 25 Mar 2014 1:30 AM Title: Chapter 33
Aww! Loving Emmett, he was genuine and not obnoxious about it. He wasnt trying to embarass, that was nice. :)
Katy
Date: 24 Mar 2014 11:03 PM Title: Chapter 33
Edward is my favorite, of course, and Jasper is cool, but Emmett is such a sweetheart, you just have to love him! Bella really got a big brother in this new family of hers, and he cares for her, very much! You could have knocked Bella over with a feather when Charlie calmly accepted the news she wanted to be changed. When he explained how he took care of the Quileute problem, I bet her jaw dropped! The cottage was perfect, and I loved it too!
Author's Response: Thank you! And for all your other reviews that I failed dismally to answer!
Date: 24 Mar 2014 8:29 PM Title: Chapter 33
Good advice, Emmett!
Date: 24 Mar 2014 6:07 PM Title: Chapter 33
I love Emmett, good advice there will there be a baby in this story
Author's Response: No, sorry no baby
Date: 24 Mar 2014 5:44 PM Title: Chapter 33
yey for her wanting to change. aww for Em giving him some good advice.
Date: 24 Mar 2014 5:02 PM Title: Chapter 33
This is a very friendly and wise Emmett!
Date: 24 Mar 2014 4:19 AM Title: Chapter 1
I can deal with the references since I do the same thing. I would like the warning and summary, thank you!
Date: 22 Mar 2014 6:14 PM Title: Chapter 32
Hello, I would have prefered to do this on a private message but that feature has been disabled on this site. One of the admins suggested this story for me because I wanted to read stories without lemons for now...this is a good story and i would like to see where its going but I can feel an intimacy scene coming. I dont mind what you have done and described up to now, but im really affected by VERY EXPLICIT scenes. If youre planning to write them as you hav until now i wont have a problem, I really like your story and want to follow it to see how it ends. I hope you dont misunderstand me? This is NOT a hate mail review.
Hope you update soon and that everything is well.
Author's Response: Though I don't want to put you off reading any more of my story I DID give it a NC-17 rating for a reason. Though there are several chapters before any real sex scene (chapter 37 actually) things will be getting more tense and there will be frequent references to it leading up to the actual act. I could make a note at the start of every chapter with "lemons" if you just want to skip them and can try a private contact with a summery of anything important that you may miss once the chapters are published. That way you can continue to read, the story will not be totally overtaken with sex scenes but they will occur from time to time and more frequently after a certain point. I do understand that your review wasn't hatemail and I thank you for taking the time to let me know you have enjoyed it so far.
Date: 20 Mar 2014 1:09 AM Title: Chapter 32
This whole chapter makes me want to say"poor babies!" They are both so drawn to each other and so shy at the same time! I'm very glad that Edward has finally made up his mind to change Bella, and isn't going to fight against it any more! Guess they just have to take this one step at a time.
Date: 19 Mar 2014 9:42 PM Title: Chapter 32
I really like all the insight. Can't wait for the island.
Date: 19 Mar 2014 8:32 PM Title: Chapter 32
Can understand her reluctance considering they've only known each other 2 weeks and all.
Date: 19 Mar 2014 8:11 PM Title: Chapter 32
Mmm, I hope the island's magic will overcome their fears.
Date: 19 Mar 2014 5:44 AM Title: Chapter 27
Excellent observation by Carlisle: ‘Edward and Alice shared a fault, their talent gave them an inflated sense of their ability to handle trouble.'
‘Alice had already had a couple of rounds of vampire v human with the girl and she had lost each time.' Interesting to think that Bella had such a hard time coping with her mother (and some others) but managed to hold her own against Alice. Perhaps because Alice actually cares about Bella, and wouldn't want to "win" at her expense.
Oh, Edward is in trouble: ‘She held all the power in her tiny fragile hands and it was driving his son crazy.' But later, progress: ‘he didn't do humble well but he did his best...'
Pretty funny, re Emmett: ‘"HE bought her chocolate?" Edward's jealousy raged, Carlisle didn't even try and suppress the grin this time.'
Well done, Bella: "It isn't that I object to sitting next to you, it's that you came along and just re-arranged my life without even asking me... you didn't like it when Alice did it to you, did you?"
Nice: ‘{Well done!} Alice congratulated him. {you see she isn't unreasonable when you aren't ordering her about.}' Sigh, if only someone had reined in canon Edward this way.
Fun moment, while sitting in the Volvo before school ‘She was biting her lip again, he groaned softly as he watched her. Jasper was shouting in his mind for Edward to calm down before he accidently 'echoed' and they ended up with a car full of teenage lust.'
Sweet: ‘He felt her warm small hand on his shoulder, the heat of her penetrated his clothing no matter what he wore. He felt himself calm as if Jasper had used his talent.'
Well done, Edward:
"Spoken for?" her voice rose an octave. ...
"Aren't you?" he breathed.'
It's about time she admitted - to herself as well as him - that she's involved with Edward.
I'm glad she's beginning to give little signs of accepting physical closeness with him. Poor guy needs some encouragement.
Date: 19 Mar 2014 5:16 AM Title: Chapter 26
Smart guy: he ‘knew that deep down she did not think marriage was a piece of paper or she wouldn't be so scared of it.'
Clever of Alice to share her thoughts about Renee so that Bella doesn't have to trot out all those painful memories. That couldn't possibly help!
What a good job Charlie did of explaining the deal with Phil. Interesting explanation that Renee "only took you because she thought I would follow her."
This made me smile - at least she's talking to him:
"I'm still angry with you over what you did at school." She told him as she slipped into sleep.
"I know."
"And the chocolates."
"I know that too."
Hmm, very plausible that Esme's husband "guessed that I loved someone else and he got jealous." Unfortunate that this horrid man was tough enough that he "had even survived a bout of the Spanish Influenza that killed Edward's family." I regret to tell you, though, that I'm just not that interested in the level of detail in Esme's story. But I did enjoy the idea that after the traumas of her marriage, she had a hard time adjusting to having Carlisle in her life. Definitely something Bella can relate to.
Esme's appeal for Bella to be patient with Edward was sweet - after all, he is her son. And hopefully it will help.
Date: 17 Mar 2014 11:09 AM Title: Chapter 31
Thank you! T
[Report This]Date: 17 Mar 2014 2:55 AM Title: Chapter 31
Hmm, Nurse Jackie! Either the character that had a 2 second part in the Twilight movie or the TV show Peter F. acts in:)
["....and 17% of Agent Provocateur." Bella had no idea what that company was, but guessed it was also to do with technology] lol lol and just about as expensive as technology!
[Report This]Date: 17 Mar 2014 12:11 AM Title: Chapter 3
Really liking this.
Date: 16 Mar 2014 3:32 PM Title: Chapter 31
Good chapter!
[Report This]Date: 16 Mar 2014 12:30 PM Title: Chapter 31
That was actually a little more light hearted than some of the chapters and it was GREAT! Loved it!
Date: 16 Mar 2014 9:35 AM Title: Chapter 31
Hearing Jackie's story has made quite an impression on Bella, and adjusted her attitude somewhat. It seems to be getting a bit easier to accept things as Edward's wife, perhaps! Who wouldn't want to be somewhere warm, away from the cold of winter, if they had the chance? I'm glad Charlie is going to be okay and he'll recuperate with Carlisle and Esme!
Date: 16 Mar 2014 8:29 AM Title: Chapter 31
Glad they are keeping renee away from her. Sounds like B is being much more acceptive for stuff. yey for island.
Date: 12 Mar 2014 5:14 AM Title: Chapter 25
I'm enjoying Charlie's amusement at Edward's struggles to understand Bella: ‘Her father had been no help at all, he had just grinned and patted him on the shoulder as he left for his shift.'
Perhaps this realization led to the slow changes we see this chapter, that Edward thought ‘nothing in life was stronger than the mating bond'. So he assumed that acting ‘the way others act' was the right thing to do, rather than seeing Bella clearly, as an individual with very specific needs.
Fun: 'Emmett had a LOT of practise at grovelling.'
Oh, very interesting, Jasper detects a feeling of shame from Bella. His advice about going slow is excellent. And Emmett agrees that "You HAVE to let her make the first move!"
I like your respect for Emmett, too. He can be so much more than comic relief!
Oops: ‘After all, what could [Edward] have done in the few hours since she had last seen him to piss her off?'
Nice: ‘strange how his conscience sounded like Alice'. At least he figures out that he needs to just start over.
Smart tactic to help her realize how lucky they were to have met at all.
This was charming: He finds himself daydreaming, watching Bella's mouth move instead of hearing her words. ‘...he shook his head, what was she doing to him? A vampire's mind was complex and vast...' I'm glad she's not the only one to be derailed by his presence.
Good job with their first kiss, and the conversation where they're both clearly confused about how to move forward. Hmm, I wonder if being affected by Jasper's "sexual haze" will ultimately hurt them or help them?
A nice turn of phrase: ‘She touched the purple bruise-like shadows under his eyes with fingers so gentle he could almost think he was dreaming her.'
Good choice, Edward: ‘It was obvious she didn't want the family to hear what she was saying, so to maintain the illusion of privacy he whispered back, right into her ear.'
This surprised me: he tells her he stopped before "we did something you would regret later", and she replies "Who says I would have regretted it?" Promising!
But it turns out that, typical Bella, she's definitely not ready for the M-word.
[Report This]Date: 09 Mar 2014 6:36 AM Title: Chapter 30
Awesome!!!!!!
Date: 07 Mar 2014 7:49 AM Title: Chapter 24
How disorienting to wake up from a high fever in a different place than where you remember going to sleep. Oh, she snaps right back to what she was thinking when she fled to the res, believing that the Cullens were making fun of her.
It made me smile when she pointedly ignores Edward but accepts the drink and pills from Charlie. ‘It was petty but she had no other way to show her displeasure.' Yup. What a good twist that it's Charlie who convinces her that Edward is indeed serious.
This gets her attention: "The Cullen's have told me everything ... from the moment they first met you back in Phoenix, to killing the nomads." Just the word "nomad" would do it!
Clever: "Billy, Quil and I were always together, and when Billy and Quil were told the tribes secrets the elders just seemed to accept that I would find out too so they told me." Makes sense. I like his observation, too, that the Cullens made brief appearances over the years, but he only now puts it together that it was always when Bella was visiting.
A nice father-daughter moment: ‘"I cracked a couple of ribs ... I tried to stop Edward from helping you and he may have pushed a little too hard." He smiled at her as she narrowed her eyes at him, "now don't go giving the boy a hard time." ... Was this the same man who last year had told her she shouldn't be thinking of boys until she was at least 30?'
Wow, she really does stay "grumpy", pushing Charlie to take her home when he'd rather she stay with the Cullens. And then she plans to walk home after Charlie leaves! As if the vampires will let that happen!
Interesting thought: ‘She shouldn't take her anger at Edward out on the rest of the family, for all she knew they didn't even agree with what he had done.' And it turns out that's right, at least as far as his manipulation of her class schedule.
I like how Alice is so calm about the pain Bella feels due to deciding to move away. Eventually that connection will become clear to Bella, too. Good thing Charlie was there to help convince her this time.
Date: 07 Mar 2014 5:41 AM Title: Chapter 30
Charlie is my hero. Go dad!!!
Date: 07 Mar 2014 4:29 AM Title: Chapter 3
I feel so horrible for poor Bella, but am happy she now has people who care
Date: 06 Mar 2014 11:54 PM Title: Chapter 30
Poor Charlie, he sacrificed himself to get that selfish, horrible harridan out of Bella's life! Hallelujah! Especially since it means that she's probably out of his hair, also. This whole thing made everyone pretty happy, Edward because he wanted Bella as his wife, Bella because of that and ridding herself of her mother, and the Cullens because Bella makes them all happy! All in all, a great chapter!
[Report This]Date: 06 Mar 2014 8:25 PM Title: Chapter 30
["Are you in pain?" "It isn't too bad." She insisted, Edward moaned....] oh, come one, Edward, at least she didn't say 'I'm fine'::))
Charlie has finally redeemed himself with me:) Hope he survives!
Date: 06 Mar 2014 7:26 PM Title: Chapter 30
Poor Charlie! That pain would have been awful. Well, they are married! Can't wait to see what happens next.
[Report This]Date: 06 Mar 2014 4:02 PM Title: Chapter 30
Married! Love it! I hope Charlie is okay and that Renee gets to go to prison for a very very long time!!!!!
Date: 06 Mar 2014 3:55 PM Title: Chapter 30
Glad Charlie got to have a part in the wedding and getting the TRO against R. Stupid bitch thinking she would get to keep B and all that; not to mention all those incriminating statements in front of witnesses.
Date: 06 Mar 2014 3:52 PM Title: Chapter 30
Congratulations, Edward and Bella! I'm so glad they're married! It solves a lot of problems.
Thanks for writing!
Date: 06 Mar 2014 8:11 AM Title: Chapter 30
Good lord, was Charlie trying to die so that Renee would stay in jail? The Cullens could have handled her on their own, and now Bella will feel even more guilty and worthless.
Date: 06 Mar 2014 8:05 AM Title: Chapter 30
Uh uh is Charlie going to die?
Since I am a nerd like that, I ask about the realistic possibility of the wedding to happen. Bella is a minor, so in order to marry she needs parental consent, right? But Charlei had custody (exclusive?), so only his consent was needed. Is that so? Finally I doubt it all could be accomplished in a day, it is not Reno or Vegas but the State of Washington, but maybe it is possible.
Author's Response: I did look up the laws of the state, though I may have misinterpreted them. As far as I can tell with parental consent (either parent) a minor may marry. The three day waiting rule may be waived by a judge if there are extenuating circumstances... Such as someone being deployed to a war zone etc. I made the judge a friend of Charlie so that he would be happy to waive the wait just to piss Renee off:p
[Report This]Date: 03 Mar 2014 6:09 PM Title: Chapter 29
"...but his father wouldn't allow anyone from the reservation to actually visit while she was under the care of Dr. Cullen" The rez seems to be run like a cult. Billy's no more than a town mayor or town council. Can't imagine them trying that crap & lasting too long in office::))
It's been quite a while since Edward's had a good feeding. I'm sure Renee & her lawyer would 'hit the stop'!
Date: 02 Mar 2014 8:10 AM Title: Chapter 29
What a great chapter! The van accident is more dramatic than in Canon and it is fine. I want to see Renee squashed.
[Report This]Date: 02 Mar 2014 6:21 AM Title: Chapter 29
So glad Bella is okay, I can't believe Renee and her bullshit! I can't wait for her to get her just deserts because that woman needs some karma coming her way quickly. Her lawyers is a scumbag and is in need of a dose of karma too!
Date: 01 Mar 2014 9:18 PM Title: Chapter 29
Poor Bella, her luck just never seems to get any better, does it? First she nearly dies and then that harridan of a mother shows up to harrass and pretend to care! It's a wonder that one or motre of the Cullens haven't taken her somewhere private and wrung her neck! Someone needs to boot her and that sleazy lawyer to hell out of there! Yuck!
Date: 01 Mar 2014 8:12 PM Title: Chapter 29
I wish they would just kill Renee. It would be easy for the Cullens to sabotage her car or something. She's a waste of oxygen.
Date: 01 Mar 2014 7:19 PM Title: Chapter 29
poor E feeling guilty I'm sure. Ugh Freakin Renee.
Date: 27 Feb 2014 7:05 PM Title: Chapter 23
Nice: Edward was ‘amazed at the complexity of Charlie's mind as he processed everything he had seen since the Cullen's came to town. The man missed nothing, even if he routinely and willingly turned a blind eye to anomalies.' I like that he notices what's going on with the wolves as well as the vampires.
Good detail: ‘the way Esme always bought exactly the same goods when shopping...' I bet if Charlie mentions this to her, she'll change her habits.
Excellent: ‘...in olden times when the change came over the youngsters of the tribe, the new wolves would be banished to a set of caves in a cliff face on the edge of the Quileute lands with the old Alpha until they learnt how to control the change...' Of course they would! What an extra burden on the boys phasing now, with no experienced elders to help them. No wonder Sam was such a hero.
Go Charlie! "It is up to Bella. ...If she says yes, then you have my blessing ... however if she says no, you leave her alone, you get me son?" And later: "...so if she does join your family..." he looked at Edward sternly, "and I mean IF... then I guess she will be well looked after."
I chuckled that Edward doesn't fool Alice: ‘{Oh yes whatever she wants, as long as it doesn't contradict what YOU want} ' This actually becomes a serious (and important) discussion. I at least HOPE this Edward does better than in canon at letting Bella make her own choices.
Ha ha, Edward catching Carlisle and Esme in flagrante delicto, prompting his decision to be on his own for a while.
Interesting visions about what Renee will do next. I'm betting on getting herself in deeper trouble with the judge with her big mouth.
Funny outcome of Emmett's bet with Jasper: "NOOO! You idiot! My grandpa could have hit that, and he would be 147 this year!"
Good conversation where Edward gets to tell Charlie that he didn't have any choice about becoming a vampire. I always think that's such a key point.
This is realistic: Bella ‘opened her eyes and burst into tears, neither Charlie nor Edward knew what to do, neither of them were practised in comforting crying girls.'
Lovely description of Edward's piano playing, with Alice harmonizing, especially when it begins to turn into a new composition. True: ‘This was exposing his feelings more than just a declaration of finding his mate.'
[Report This]Date: 24 Feb 2014 2:08 AM Title: Chapter 28
I'm so glad Bella didn't listen to the phone messages. I suspect no good would have come from that if she had.
Looks like both E & B are trying to understand each other a little better.
Date: 22 Feb 2014 7:20 AM Title: Chapter 28
You may close your eyes, Bella, but trust me, Edward is not about to let you die! By the way, I'm really glad Bella left the messages unheard and just went about her home work. Let Renee bitch to someone else, her daughter's had a lifetime of that crap!
Date: 21 Feb 2014 7:02 PM Title: Chapter 28
Glad B is doing a little better with them all, esp E
[Report This]Date: 21 Feb 2014 3:41 PM Title: Chapter 28
Holy SHIT!!!
Date: 21 Feb 2014 10:39 AM Title: Chapter 28
Oh my the van accident revised !
Date: 20 Feb 2014 5:36 AM Title: Chapter 22
I enjoyed this brotherly interation: ‘"You two can go home, I'll be fine here. I promise I won't do anything stupid." He told them. Both of them ignored him and leant against the side of the car watching him pace.'
Yay, Charlie, taking Bella directly to the Cullen house. I bet he was furious at the Blacks for letting her get worse.
Oh, no, awful memories for Edward: ‘Bella's condition reminded him strongly of how his mother had looked the last time he had seen her just before she died.' What a dramatic scene, trying to get her temperature down. Poor baby, she can't stop shivering.
Oops. ‘"Want to explain what I just saw?" [Charlie] asked. Edward actually groaned out loud.'
Interesting: when Charlie first came for Bella at the Blacks' house, ‘He had briefly wondered at her calling for the boy who had just moved into the neighbourhood...' I liked your Charlie's thought that there was definitely something weird about the whole family, but as long as they were helping Bella, that was the important thing. He doesn't even complain about his broken rib!
A good idea: ‘That explained why Charlie had so many friends on the reservation, he was related to a lot of them through marriage.'
Wow he DOES know an awful lot: "As there has only been one suspicious death since you arrived here, and that was this week, I'm going to guess that as you all still have gold eyes, it wasn't one of you feeding on that camper anyway." I like that he even figures out the Cullens have been helping Bella for years.
Go, Charlie, getting Alice to put the brakes on her shopping: "[Bella] will work herself into an early grave to pay you back every penny you spent." He knows his daughter.
Excellent: ‘"What is Bella to you!" [Charlie] looked pointedly at Edward...' This could get awkward, especially since Bella doesn't altogether accept it herself yet.
Well done:
"Are you trying to tell me he and Bella are mated?" Charlie's face reddened and Edward jumped in.
"Not like that! Well, not yet, I swear!"
I imagine Charlie won't be so easy convince how old-fashioned Edward is.
Hmm. "I didn't want to change Bella until she had lived a full human life, but after today I have to say I am seeing it as inevitable." At least your Edward is capable of changing his mind!
Date: 19 Feb 2014 4:00 PM Title: Chapter 27
Looking forward to more:)
Date: 17 Feb 2014 11:17 PM Title: Chapter 27
Recently found your work. Have really enjoyed this story and hope to see more soon.
ill be checking out your other work.
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2014 9:00 AM Title: Chapter 27
"She slung her bag on her shoulder, unbalancing herself" lol lol that's perfect! She's trying to be firm & make a point, ending up looking funny::))
I'm actually feeling Edward's pain! Bella has a boatload of issues. It's great she doesn't let him dictate her every move but she doesn't give him even an inch::))
Date: 15 Feb 2014 9:17 AM Title: Chapter 27
Thank you.
it's lovely to see this story developing.
Hope we'll get more soon.
Date: 15 Feb 2014 1:51 AM Title: Chapter 27
Bless his cold, dead heart, Edward exerted his restraint and actually seems to have made progress with Bella! I'm really glad that Edward told Bella what gross stuff was going through Mike Newton's mind. She needs to know so she can guard against the perverts of the world! I want to tell Edward to keep up the good work!
Date: 15 Feb 2014 1:31 AM Title: Chapter 27
Bella is beginning to grow on me again! Glad to see that Edward is able to keep his foot out of his mouth for the most part!!!
Date: 14 Feb 2014 11:52 PM Title: Chapter 27
Hope Bella neuters him. Or better yet, let his parents or another adult catch him trying something.
Date: 12 Feb 2014 6:24 AM Title: Chapter 21
Good summary of Bella's view of Edward's actions that appear pushy to her.
And then when he wants to spend some time with her ‘Why was he bothering her? He had been parted from his family for over 50 years; didn't they deserve some of his attention? It wasn't that she didn't wish to spend time with him; it was more that she felt she was the butt of a joke. There was no way someone like him would be interested in someone like her.'
Uh oh. Then she thinks it isn't just Edward's joke: ‘She had done everything she could to help the Cullen's and now they just made fun of her. She wasn't a friend, she was more a pet...'
Well imagined: ‘...she struggled and twisted until he had no choice but to let her go or hurt her.' She may not be able to overpower a vampire, but she's not helpless. I like that she manages to get away to the beach, to have some time to herself.
This thought has to occur to all the Cullens from time to time: ‘It would look strange in the cold weather if he was seen standing at the roadside for any length of time without a heavy coat. Sometimes blending in was just too much trouble.'
I wonder if you intended a parallel between the Cullens' inabililty years ago to understand why Edward left after the arrival of Alice and Jasper, and their inability to understand now what happened to upset Bella.
Interesting where Esme's mind goes as she's surveying the cottage for renovation: ‘If Bella stayed human she could decide to try artificial insemination. How Edward would react to that, his mate pregnant with another man's baby, was anyone's guess. ... Vampires weren't known for sharing when it came to their mates...'
Ah, this time it's Esme that has the insight about what's bothering Bella. ‘Unlike Esme, she hadn't just suffered 4 years of that sort of treatment, she had never known anything else, it was little wonder that she was overwhelmed by the attention of, not only Edward, but the Cullen family on the whole.'
I'm enjoying the friendly/brotherly relationship with Jacob. Unfortunately SM managed to spoil all my affection for Jacob as he had no clue about boundaries.
Great quote: "I used to think that it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
This is Bella all right: "You are so unlucky; there are very few tides a year that cover that barrier."
Nice insight: ‘Jacob didn't look ashamed of his room as she would have... She had never realised how ungrateful she had been to Charlie for everything he had done to make her comfortable, she had just seen what was missing, not what was there!' It's harder to keep that perspective when the ridiculously wealthy Cullens are in your face all the time.
Funny: ‘The day before she had woken in her bed with a relative stranger beside her, today she was sleeping in a relative stranger's bed, and not even the same stranger!'
[Report This]Date: 10 Feb 2014 8:42 PM Title: Chapter 26
I'd mention what an evil crazy bitch Renee is if it wasn't so obvious, so I won't:)
Great expanded version of Esme's story!
Date: 08 Feb 2014 6:11 AM Title: Chapter 20
Yes, this would be a definite shock, especially when Edward is still so new to her. ‘She opened one eye and looked down at her 'pillow' She recognised the shirt, of course she did, she had spent quite a bit of time looking at it earlier... or rather at the vampire wearing it.'
I enjoyed this lightheartedness that we don't often see in Edward, when she asks "Why are you in my bed?" ‘You grabbed me and dragged me here." He grinned down at her as she looked at him indignantly.'
I smiled at her comparing Edward to the statue of David: ‘She forced her eyes to stop before they went any lower, she cursed as her cheeks reddened and she tried her hardest not to visualise the rest of the statue.'
Nice detail: ‘He was amazed, the clumsy girl who couldn't walk without tripping over thin air moved around the kitchen with an unconscious grace that astounded him.' It was fun how the other Cullen siblings (minus Rosalie) gathered at Charlie's too.
I was kind of surprised by Edward's apology to Alice and Jasper, admitting that his reaction years ago was as much to another mated pair as to being shoved out of his room. Good for him for being honest with himself as well as them.
Rosalie makes a good point about his resistance to changing Bella: "You would put Esme through losing both of you?" And "You are taking away her choice the same way Carlisle did for me...", just in the opposite way. And wow, Esme: "...if you insist on this course, that Bella isn't changed even if she wants to be, I will ask your father to do it."
Nice conclusion: ‘he had every intention of showing the girl what she had missed being brought up by her mother. ... for now he could shower her with affection, attention and gifts, just as she deserved.'
This is promising: ‘Courtship rules had changed dramatically since he was alive; he would have to do some research on teen habit in this day and age.' SM's rule was that vampires "froze" as they were when they changed, but it always seemed to me that creatures as intelligent as the Cullens couldn't live among humans as they did without adapting to changes in the society around them.
It made me smile that when she keeps trying to step away from Edward's arm over her shoulder at school, ‘"Behave," he whispered right in her ear...' Yeah, good luck with that. You did a good job with Edward's puzzlement about why she was so resistant to his mild PDA if they were truly mates. And of course she has no idea that he is partly reacting to the threatening thoughts of the other boy.
I also liked the way she didn't appreciate his engineering himself into all her classes, replacing the other Cullens who had been her friends for a long time.
Date: 07 Feb 2014 8:19 PM Title: Chapter 26
That must be helpful to Bella to hear Esme's tale as it's similar in that they both were beaten down, one mentally and the other physically. It clarifies the mate bond also, how it affects both her and Edward. It just will take time to drain the poison, put there by Renee, from Bella's mind and heart! Charlie is still beating himself up over what happened to his daughter, and frankly he should, to some extent. How could he have just let Renee take Bella away , when he suspected things might be bad for her? Somewhere he knew, deep down that Renee was not a good mother, maybe not even a good person! Then again, what's done is done and can't be changed, so I guess they have to go on from here and do the best they can!
Date: 07 Feb 2014 6:29 PM Title: Chapter 26
Renee really needs to pay, ALOT, for all the crap she went through. Poor B.
Date: 01 Feb 2014 5:22 AM Title: Chapter 19
Creepy - Deputy Mark discovering the nomads' victim. ‘It was so suspicious that [Carlisle] believed it had been done deliberately to cause trouble for the family.'
I like Edward being "aghast" at the choices the Cullens have made about Bella's life. It takes a lot of convincing for him to understand and agree with their interference. Good for him.
Good conversation between Carlisle and Edward about being mated. "Will you condemn Bella to grow old and weak while she knows you are out in the world, young and strong? If it is Bella's wish NOT to turn, we will respect it, but if she decides to, the two of you will find your lives worth living... TOGETHER."
An interesting point: ‘She fascinated him, it was true, but would she turn out to be as shallow as all the other teenage girls he had ever met? The silence of her mind, was it covering beauty and depth or pettiness and spite?‘
That's an intriguing twist on SM's vampire mythology, that even contemplating leaving Bella behind to go to Alaska, triggers pain in the mate bond that was finalized by Bella casually touching his arm earlier. Also that neither Carlisle nor Edward himself understood what was happening.
Thank goodness for Alice! "Change your mind!" Alice shouted. "NOW!"
Good detail: ‘He hadn't touched a human in decades and he was amazed at how she felt.' And I like this variation on canon: ‘As before, her being in contact with him lessened his thirst...'
This was amusing, Edward panics when Bella's heart stutters, and Alice tells him ‘{Try smiling at her, I bet you get the same reaction.}' And of course she's right.
Sweet: ‘"I'm not leaving." He said softly as he gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. ... Bella, still asleep, grabbed his hand with both of hers and cuddled around his arm. He looked helplessly at Alice, who was doing her best not to laugh and wake Bella up.'
Charming, too, when he worries that sleeping next to him ‘would be like laying on a slab of marble', and Bella clearly doesn't mind.
Personally, I could have done with a little less sleep chatter from Bella. Her physical reactions, grasping onto him at every opportunity, painted the story very well.
This made me smile: ‘...he groaned as she threw her leg over him, her thigh contacting just where he needed, or didn't need... the pressure.'
I like this variation on canon rules: ‘As before, her being in contact with him lessened his thirst...'
He believes ‘He couldn't count on her wanting to touch him once she was awake', but I think he's wrong about that! But maybe not since she hesitated to even hug Alice.
Date: 01 Feb 2014 4:39 AM Title: Chapter 18
Amusing how Bella messes with Alice by visualizing wearing clothing that would horrify the fashionista. Clever.
Aww, I wonder how long it will be before Bella gets over this: ‘She grinned and almost hugged [Alice], but at the last minute her aversion to being 'touchy feely' kicked in and she stopped before she made contact.'
This made me smile: when Alice arrived despite the snow ‘Bella sighed; she actually missed having time to herself.'
And later:
‘"Why don't you go back and join the others Jasper, Bella and I are going to be fine."
"We are?" Bella asked again, not sure when she lost control of her life.'
Edward accepted Bella's status very quickly:
‘"Why are you torturing yourself?" she asked.
"You are a part of the family, I have to get used to you being around." [Edward] told her.'
Good one, Bella: "As far as I recollect I have a pulse, something no one in your family has."
I enjoyed Edward's reminiscing about how much fun it was to go sledding as a human child.
Nice insight into Charlie: ‘Charlie's thought was sad, he had lost his father when he was 14 and felt deeply for any child who lost a parent young. He spared a thought for Carlisle losing both his brothers and being willing to take on the kids.'
Oh, shoot, what a slip in Alice's thoughts: ‘We didn't just look after you so Edward would return!" {we did it because we knew you two were mates! SHIT!!}'
Good job on Edward's thoughts on the "mate" theory, how he refused to take seriously the idea of a human mate, and criticized the Cullens for bringing her into their world. In summary, ‘She deserved more than to be mated to one of his kind.'
Date: 28 Jan 2014 3:43 AM Title: Chapter 1
:D
Author's Response: :)
Date: 27 Jan 2014 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 25
Edward was making real progress, right up until he said marry! I hope it doesn't cause Bella to hyperventilate! It may be cliche, but more communication between these two would go a long way towards bringing them closer. I seem to remember it's only a cliche because it's so often true!
Author's Response: Very true! Problems could be avoided by more communication in all our lives.
Date: 27 Jan 2014 11:29 PM Title: Chapter 25
I am so glad Bella made some progress in this chapter.
Author's Response: Some things still need sorting, but talking things out will help both of them.
Date: 27 Jan 2014 8:50 PM Title: Chapter 25
Well at least they had a reasonable converstation. lol for her atttacking him
Author's Response: Well, wouldn't we ALL like to attack him?
[Report This]Date: 27 Jan 2014 6:25 PM Title: Chapter 25
Well that was a very satifying chapter! I loved that they actually talked and got some things taken care of! Of course Bella is going to have the usual adversion to marriage, hopefully Edward can get her to see things his way without to much of a fight!
Author's Response: Yeah, we will see a bit more about Bella's past in the next chapter.
Date: 27 Jan 2014 6:11 AM Title: Chapter 17
Ohmigosh, James and Victoria killed not only the 1900 year old vampire, but also David? Creepy fate for Laurent.
Aww, nice:
‘"You are staying?" Esme asked, her voice small, dreading the possible answer.
"If you will forgive me." .... He was humbled and overwhelmed, after all these years of what could basically be termed sulking; they were welcoming him back with open arms.'
Ah, so Edward hadn't heard of singers...
‘{It's what the Volturi call a human whose blood is so powerful to a certain vampire that it is impossible to resist.}
{Hate to burst your bubble but I am resisting!} Edward pointed out. Alice raised an eyebrow, and he conceded. If it hadn't been for his family befriending the girl and helping to hold him back in the first few minutes, she wouldn't be alive now.'
Wow, that was a narrow escape!
Well done argument between Edward and Alice about the possible timelines of Bella becoming a vampire. Good point: ‘It wasn't as if Alice was picking the worst case scenarios, he was seeing them as soon as she was.'
Nice family moment: ‘He grinned. He had forgotten how much fun he could have winding Emmett up. The teasing had never been only one way between them, something he had forgotten after he left the family.' Funny to imagine: ‘Emmett hated to be left out of any conversation and many a time in the past [Edward] had pretended to be reading someone's mind and answering them just to rile him.'
Oh, Bella figures out how Alice is picking up Edward's thoughts! Clever girl.
Nice detail: ‘he looked down at his wallet, she was right, [his credit cards] were in the name of Edward Masen, he ... crushed the old ones into unrecognisable lumps of plastic before Esme could see the name and get upset.'
I snickered at your description of Bella thinking back over how much she had enjoyed watching Edward as the four males play-fought.
This makes perfect sense:
‘"What aren't you telling me?" Bella wanted to know.
"Oh LOTS!" Alice grinned.'
Date: 27 Jan 2014 5:53 AM Title: Chapter 16
How fun, Bella's first sight of Edward. ‘The newest vampire on the field crouched low and actually growled at the nomads, a shudder went through her at the sound. She wasn't frightened by it... strangely she wanted to hear it again, it gave her warm tingles throughout her body. ... Oh and he had a great looking ass.' Hmm, I wonder if Bella has ever noticed anyone's ass before...
And ‘With him being a mind reader she didn't want him to have any reason to be thinking about her because she had to admit the main thought in her head was that he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.'
Aww, sad how she interprets Edward's initial reaction to her.
Well said: Alice ‘searched for a future that would tell her what was happening in the present.'
Cute detail: ‘...at that moment, her blush grew, both Jasper and Edward took a step back, almost bumping into each other in their quest for Bella-free air.'
Nice: ‘She wasn't beautiful in a classical sense, it was true, not like Rose had been when she was human, but her face was interesting, which was even more fascinating. ... His mind was stuck on her, like a scratched record.'
Interesting: ‘He looked guiltily at the family. He hadn't really given much thought to how they had all felt back then; he just knew he wasn't ready to rejoin them.' Still feeling too much of his own pain.
Hmm, Maria? That could be trouble!
Author's Response: Thanks again for your reviews. I know for certain at least one person picks up on my small points! :)
Date: 25 Jan 2014 12:12 PM Title: Chapter 1
Thanks you
Author's Response: Thanks to you too!
[Report This]Date: 25 Jan 2014 10:25 AM Title: Chapter 24
I can't wait the growing up process. I'm enjoy your story. Please continue to write.
Author's Response: Thanks for the nice review. Don't worry the story is already complete. I have no intention of stopping posting :-)
[Report This]Date: 25 Jan 2014 1:32 AM Title: Chapter 24
Hi, this is my first time reviewing.
I jusy want to say I love this story!
The plot is original... that is so refreshing after so many redo's of the same story. I also love that there is vampires in this story. I love the supernatural. A all human story is ok but not as good as a supernatural. Well your story is great and well thought out. Excellent writing! I kinda crave your stories sense their are only about 1 other story I'm reading right now. I can't wait for you to update. Also don't listen to the negative reviews. Just let it roll off your back like water. Have a great day!!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for choosing this story to break your review virginity on! I must admit I also prefer vampire stories to AH, if you change the circumstances too much it isn't really FF, it's just a plot borrowing some names. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.