Penname: Robshandmonkey [Contact] Real name: Andrea
Member Since: 25 Nov 2010
Membership status: Member
Bio:

I make no promises...but tonight...I started writing again. 


It felt amazing. 


 


Beta-reader: No
[Report This]






Reviews by Robshandmonkey
The Perfect Wife by rmcrms5 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 3521]
Summary: Past Featured Story

After Renee and Phil die in a car accident on Bella’s 17th birthday. She is sent to live with her father, Charlie and brother, James in Forks WA after being separated for 10 years with no contact. Charlie dabbles in training and placement of the “perfect” wife for exclusive clientele. Bella quickly learns that she’s going that she’s going to get more than a high school education. She's going to be educated with a purpose.
I don’t own Twilight

 

 

TPW Avi 

TPW banner

 


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's Read Stories, LeslieWhitlock's completed & recommended read stories, Finished, Themslovebug90's read stories, My Favorite Stories, Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiMaf, Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 55 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 244105 Read Count: 1601522
[Report This] Published: 23 Jan 2010 Updated: 07 Oct 2010
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 29 Mar 2011 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 17

okay....I tried I really really tried and am amazed I have gotten this far! But this chapter broke my spirit and my heart.

How this story can be most read I have no idea...this reader is giving up at this chapter.

You are a great writer don't doubt that because you have me so emotionally fucked up right now I can't see straight.

Possesiveward is one thing...This is just...there are no words..and I am glad you have a following of fans but I apologize with all my heart that for this fic I just can't be one of them.

What saddens me the most is I can't erase it as much as I wished now I had stopped with the abuse and Charlie I kept thinking the whole time Edward would save her. I didn't in any way expect Edward to be just like Charlie. I quit the minute she was reminded of James. I am done! 

 

God I need to go find the sappiest story ever and erase this scene!

 

If you write anything other than Dark I would love to read it...seriously you are a great writer...

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you for attempting to read TPW. I know it's a hard story to get thru. I promise all the women have a happy ending.

TPW is the darkest story I've written. It was my first attempt at writing and really went all out on darkness. I've back off quite a bit since then. LOMO is dark, but not nearly this dark.

You would probably enjoy my story Creating a Mate. I started it for my teen daughter so it's more fluff than dark.  I do like angsty stories best so everything I write will have some angst, but not to the level of TPW. I hope you'll try CAM and let me know what you think.

Take care! Mic

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 06 Apr 2011 Title: Chapter 41: Chapter 40

OHHHHHHHHHHH

MYYYYYYYYYYYYY

FREAKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

GAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!

I have been sobbing for the last five chapters or more..no more than that...you said keep going dont give up and so i pushed through the horror and i get to this chapter and i am utterly fucking stuneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!!!!!!!!!

You have no idea how I am so glad I don't have to wait for updates!

I am not stopping till the end....you have snared me in!!!!!!



Author's Response:

I'm glad you're liking my story. I hope you like the ending too.

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 09 Apr 2011 Title: Chapter 54: Epilogue

AWESOME TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME!!!

 

YOU REDEEMED YOURSELF VERY GRACEFULLY.....IT TRULY WAS A HARD READ AND WHEN I GOT PASSED ALL THE HORROR AND FEAR THEN I CAME TO REALIZE THAT EDWARD GREW UP IN JUST AS MESSED UP OF A CHILDHOOD AS JAMES. IT WASN'T HIS FAULT HE WAS THE WAY HE WAS. I WAS RELIEVED AND TOTALLY SITTING ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT.

EXCELLENT.

I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND WHEN I GET TIME I WILL DELVE INTO READING MORE! I JUST CANT' SEEM TO STOP WRITING OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY FROM MY OWN REVIEWERS..LOL....

 

THANK YOU!



Author's Response:

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I always get nervous when anyone new starts this story because the beginning is so horrific. But how else can I show Edward as the lesser of evils at that point even though he isn't much better than the others at that point? I had to make the reader "prefer" Edward even though they hated him with just as much passion as the rest so that sliver of possibility existed to give him a chance to redeem himself later.

Than k you again for reading.   Mic

PEOPLE LIKE US by justginger Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 3983]
Summary: Past Featured Story

Edward Cullan is the hottest movie star. Bella Swan is an art grad, in Italy for the summer. Their worlds collide in the most unlikely way.  He unlocks what she has hidden for so long - a dark side...


Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Family, Fantasy, Friendship, Historical, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort,, Mystery, One-Shot, Parody/Crackfic, Poetry, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Domward's Dungeon, My To Read List, Ageise02's Read Stories, Bdsm stories only, Finished, Twilight - Read, Amberina's Completed Favs List, Kuu Faves, Stories Read by CNYBella, Stories I've Already read, Lilyellacullens want to read list!, My Favorite Stories, J's Read and Loved Stories, Stories I've read, Fav BDSM Fics, My favs past present and future , Read
Chapters: 81 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1339257 Read Count: 986760
[Report This] Published: 24 Feb 2010 Updated: 04 Dec 2011
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 30 Nov 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Okay why does this never happen to me?

I am peaked.....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 30 Nov 2010 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Okay your reeling me in...now.

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 30 Nov 2010 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

oh god do i hear domination in that tone? woo hoo...

and bodyshots on Edward should be for sale.

I would sell my husband's motorcycle for a chance at that! lol....



Author's Response:

okay I gotta tell you, you have me lmao!!! With your comments about hubby's motorbike!  why don't you do bodyshots on you hubby?? Just saying....

Thanks for the review  (what about body shots on your hubby's abs on the motorbike???) I'm a perv that's why I write plu!~!!!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 01 Dec 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

I am so totally hooked on this story!!

I don't want to stop reading and now I find myself neglecting my own

LoL....

I just need to learn to balance..isnt that what EDWARD said in Breaking Dawn?

ha ha



Author's Response:

YOU NEED TO GO AND WRITE SOME MORE OF YOUR AWESOME STORY - I'M HOOKED!

Diamond in the Rough by lmlx8 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 4234]
Summary: Past Featured Story

ditr                   

Bella is coming from a bad marriage, and memories that haunt her. After recieving her Master's degree in Psychology, she begins to embrace her submissive nature. When she mets Edward she is drawn to his Dominating character. Can Edward help her to get over the pain from her past, and find peace at his feet.

 

stories/186/images/th_NDVH_thumbnailsm.jpg

          stories/186/images/banner.png

                                                                                                                                        

stories/186/images/DIAMONDINTHEROUGHBestLemon-300x237.png    stories/186/images/DIAMONDINTHEROUGHBestJacob-300x237.png   


Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Action, Drama, Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Domward's Dungeon, I Whitlock's read , My Favorite Stories, Fav BDSM Fics
Chapters: 110 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 949046 Read Count: 1233613
[Report This] Published: 19 Jul 2010 Updated: 18 Sep 2014
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 01 Jan 2011 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22

I know its Chapter 22 and I should have reviewed before now. I have been pulled into the story and I am not sure what keeps me interested. Although your Edward is loving at times I also find him a little harsh. I fully understand the dynamics of a BDSM story because I am writing one of my own and some are very critical similar to yours.

I just find it hard to fall in love with your Edward when he is denying her something as simple as dessert. It seems almost a little too controlling considering they are not in the playroom or on their scheduled days.

They are not 24/7 so why does his dominance meld into their everyday life?

Your story is obviously the complete opposite of mine and I am not knocking it by any means I am trying to understand where the lines are drawn. 

Maybe I am confused about the slave part of it.

I am obviously hooked on it because I am at chapter 22 and reading away anxious for the next one so that at least tells you that you have me hooked.

Im just a confused reader. I guess.

Now with that I was  a little thrown with the content of this Chapter.

Your Warning says

Extreme Domestic Violence

This is NOT domestic violence in this Chapter.

He broke and forced his way into her home and then she was Restrained, Gagged, Raped, Sodomized, Beaten and Brutalized but worse yet she was humilated beyond comprehension!

Domestic Violence seems tame compared to this.

I know that some women are forced into sex by their husbands but this is not the case. She is no longer in a relationship with him.

This is A VERY SEVERE CASE OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.

A huge difference and you might want to put a little warning in there that says it involves Rape. 

Just a suggestion.

I am still hooked and promise to review more if I can stop long enough to do it!

 

 

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi ... ok, first not all personalities are going to mesh, and that's alright but let me see if I can answer some of your questions. I am assuming that you are referring to him not allowing her to have the lemon cheesecake. He was making a point with that. She had not eaten the toast from the morning, and in fact completely blew it off, so because of that he was deneying her what she wanted. In her limits she had given him permission  to pick out her food for her. Also she agreed to following his diet and approved food list. She also agreeded that she would abide by his decision on treats. I know  that itr was not one of their...ususal nights... but the diet, exercise and sleep schedule is in effect at all times.

My Edward is strict on his rules, he does not mess around with his requirements, he is funny and warm and very caring, but he expects his submissive to be obediant and respectful at all times.

Chapter 22's warning...Bella's flashback was violant and demeaning... I gave the Domestic Violant warning because that is what I would call it. James came into her house through an open door and  proceeded to brutalize her ((his wife - they were still married))...Domestic Violence can be anything from the husband belittleing the wife with names to slapping or in this case rapeing her against her will....I called it DV, simply because by law they were still married and in my mind that's what it was....I'm going to let my warning stand as it is...with the caution about reading the italics....((which I must tell you many people told me they skipped that part ...lol))

I'm glad you are enjoying my story, there are a lot of BDSM stories out there, I wanted to focus mine on the building of the relationship between the two and how Bella can over come her past with the love and support of a strong, dominant Master....to find the fulfillment of being who she is....

So let meknow if that answered your questions or if I just confussed you more ...lol ...I've been known to do that....lml

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 02 Jan 2011 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23

So even though they aren't in the playroom the rest of the week they are still a 24/7 D/s? 

Does she ever get a break from this?

I see the difference in Jane and Aro's relationship she is a hardcore Submissive.

I guess my lines are just a little blurred. Just as they are in the story I am writing. I see where that can really screw things up though in everyday life.

I would obviously make a lousy submissive because I certainly wouldn't check that box that is okay to pick my food haha....

I am learning alot through your story.

What I meant about the warning is that I know a victim of Rape and if she stumbled onto this story and was not warned about the scene thinking it was just a fight between husband and wife it would freak her out. Rape is pretty traumatic and when you hear the word Domestic Violence the first thing you think is its hitting. You don't really associate it with Rape even though it happens it isn't as common as just getting the hell beat out of you.

Thanks for the input and I am a little confused still but I am not giving up! lol



Author's Response:

No... they are not D/s all the time, however there are rules that she needs to followed all the time and failure to follow those rules will result in punishments....They are simple rules that have more to do with her being in good mental and physical health...These rules were gone over back in chapters 7 and 8... ((during their sunday coffee date))...

Hmmm...ok, as a submissive woman I give up control to my Dom, our playtime is scheduled that is when all protocals and rituals are observed. During that time i don't speak without his permission ((among other things...lol))...however when we are not having our playtime I am still expected to behave in a certin way and do the things that I need to do in order to keep myself prepared and ready for the next session...if I slack off with exercise, sleeping or eating propperly there is no way my body will be in the tip top shape it needs to be in....also these simple little rules make it easier to get into the right frame of mind...If i spend all week disrespecting Him, yelling, bitching and completely disreguarding his wishes...how is it going to be possible for me to just -BAM!- become the sub --- I suppose what I'm trying to say is that ... a person doesn't become submissive...they are submissive ... and a submissive wants, needs, craves the attention and disipline that come with the everyday rules...at least this submissive does...I find comfort in the structure and peace in knowing that someone else has made my decisions for me....

That doesn't make me weak --- or uncapable of handling life...I'm a wife of 27 years, I have 8 children, five grand-children. I work in the medical field, of which I went to college for when I was 40. I handle all the household money and expenses as well as volenteer in the community...I am fully capable of making decisions and my Husband/Dom comes to me for my opinion before making any major decisions --- but ultimatly the final decision is his ----I've granted him that and he has excepted the responsibilty...it works for us.

The whole reason I even wrote this story was ... ok two reasons...one because I really wanted to and I had to really extend myself to get permission to do it and now that it is taking up so much of my time ...He is not happy... but he is tolerate..((most of the time )) He is also a big believer in finishing what you start... so I fear that this may be my first and last story ,,, but that is for another discussion... the other reason was I was tired of reading D/s stories that had no substance... I know there are alot of good ones out there, but there are also alot of bad ones...I wanted to show the love, respect and commitment that comes with a lifestyle that I embrace ...to tell a submissive story from a submissive POV....

Anyway ... you keep reading if you wish and I will keep writing.. if you have any quaetions I would be more then happy to answer them... I'm not an expert and not all D/s relationships are the same... I can only write about the one I know....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 25 Jan 2011 Title: Chapter 50: Chapter 50

I think I had an epihany in this chapter at getting a better understanding of something a submissive does or needs.

They need to feel like they are accomplishing something in their submission.

And then to be rewarded like a child gets a gold star at school.

And maybe a Master just has an ego complex that needs to be rewarded just as that star for getting her to successfully submit. 

Does that make sense?

I know I am referencing Kindergardners and gold stars to d/s and needs but that is what I am comparing the two to be 

Like you explained the whole Dog and the treat

you say woof and he hands you a treat

What a strange lifestyle...Wow. I think I just grasped what really DS means in BDSM.

woof! lol!

 

 

 



Author's Response:

lol...the gold stars...lol....Yes...the submissive needs to feel needed...she wants to give into him and make him proud by doing what he asked - she has a strong desire to be obedient, it gives her pleasure and fulfillment in doing his bidding. In turn he feels a strong need to control and gets off on her following his rules...and yes your gold star anology works...the lifestyle is actually simple ....

Obedience (accomplishment of a task )= reward

Disobedience (failing of a task) = punishment...It is through the failures that the submissive learns what is pleasing to her Master and recognizes what he expects from her....(that was why Jane told Bella that the players don't make it past the first punishment )

Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a comment...I have a teaser for you...lml

Edward was pulling into the parking lot that was across the street from the main entrance. He didn’t say anything else until he held my door open for me taking my hand and pulling me closer to him. “I am sorry about my behavior”

 

I smiled at him “You girl forgives you”

 

His face moved closer to mine as he spoke “My girl is more tolerant then I deserve”

 

“Never” as I said the word his lips brushed against mine, it was a sweet chaste kiss. When he pulled back his eyes held a tenderness in them as he palmed the side of my face. 

 

“Remember your task and speak to no one other then family members”

 

“Yes Sir”

 

“Come let’s get this over with so we can get home” I nodded in agreement following behind him with my eyes down. As we approached the entrance Edward spoke with the guy at the door.

 

“Tyler, how is the night going?”

 

“Edward, actually it’s been busy, it’s game night”

 

Edward groaned “damn I forget about that”

 

Tyler chuckled as we moved into the club telling us to have fun, I wasn’t sure what game night was but it appeared I was about to find out.

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 05 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 52: Chapter 52

Is it just me or is taking foreverrrrrrrrrr to get to FORKS????



Author's Response:

Forks is coming ... I hope it's worth the wait...thanks for reading and leaving me a comment, here is this weeks teaser...

Excusing myself I went into the kitchen to check in dinner, everything was done so after pulling the chicken out of the oven - to allow it to rest - I started putting the other stuff into serving bowls. The sound of the kitchen door swinging open made me turn to see who was there, and I smiled as Aro joined me.

 

“Isabella I don’t wish to disturb you, but may I speak with you for a minute?”

 

Not wanting to be rude I stopped what I was doing. “Yes Sir, do you need something?”

 

“No..no, please continue, I can talk while you work.”  I asked him to give me a second while I took the Corn Pie out of the oven because I didn’t want him talking to my back. Once it was out I gave him my attention. 

 

Eyeing the pie I had just removed he smiled at me warmly “It’s nice to see you so carefree around everyone. You seem much more confident and I must admit it does me good to see that. You are young and need to laugh more.”

 

I giggled “Emmett is easy to laugh with”

 

Aro agreed with me with a slight nod of his head “And Edward?”

 

“Edward is easy to laugh with too.”

 

“Good, it truly brings me joy to see you happy and carefree.”

 

“Well I don’t know about carefree…”

 

Aro spoke before I could finish “Yes well that is wanted to talk to you about.

Summary:

Living Amongst Vampires Banner

 

In a world dominated by vampires, humans are forced to donate blood and abide by the strict rules of the vampire government. Bella has never experienced life in an all-human world and one day the only life she knows shatters to pieces when her parents are killed by a vampire. She is adopted by her parents' friends, who happen to be vampires. Her life turns upside down as she moves to an all-vampire town. Will she have the strength to go on after all that she has endured? Will one special vampire heal her wounds as she struggles to live a life amongst vampires? Edward and Bella pairing, AU, OOC

Warning: This story contains explicit adult content, language, violence, vampire marking and bloodplay.

 

I want to thank Dazzled~by~Jake for this awesome banner! And my awesome Beta Lindz! xo


 

Inspire Fanfic winning banner


Categories: Twilight, Alternate Universe
Characters: None
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Love to drive's Stories to read
Chapters: 26 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 378869 Read Count: 229844
[Report This] Published: 14 Aug 2010 Updated: 23 Sep 2018
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 04 Jul 2011 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16

 

First let me start by saying......OH MY FUCKING GAWD!

WHEW...

Okay now that is out of the way! I am so bad that once I saved up the three chapters that I didn't take the time to comment on each one because I was so in to these new pieces of chocolaty heaven that I wasn't about to stop for nothing...and well now obviously I have been forced to....

Jesus those last few chapters were just GAH!

I loved each one....but I crack up each time I read Bella being so totally full of herself that she refers to her own blood as tantalizing....!!! that is just too freaking funny....conceited much there girlfriend? he he...

So now Edward is....cue bionic man music from the seventies?

Bigger...Stronger...Faster...and uh well er uh...um....shall we say MORE ENDOWED!?

Yummy!

Awesome...I can't so wait to see where this goes but girl you and Tyggs are going to have to get an update on LAH!!!

I am seriously going through withdrawls...and you all left us hanging....

Sigh!

Happy Fourth and hurrrrrrrrrrry!

I thought I would lend you my green eyed Purrward and revamp him to your Crimson eyed Purrward.

hope you like!

xoxox

Drea aka Robshandmonkey

♥∫♥∫♥

 



Author's Response:

OMG!!! Cover your ears b/c I'm going to squee. lmao *squeeeeeeeeee

Thank you so much!!! I LOVE the crimson eyed Purrward. I'm soooooo going to use that for ch 17. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

*giggles @ concieted Bella. Yep, she knows the dealio that she's the shizzle. lmao

Yuppo, Edward has to be bigger and stronger IF he takes on Aro and his guard. And then there's Bella too....she'll be important as well.

*shakes head sadly* Ikr? I'll have to finish the LAH chapter asap. It's going to be crazy. lol

Thank you =) Hope you have a happy 4th too.

*hugs

Jells

PS: I found a pic of a green eyed Edward. I'm so going to have to try making manips/banners. They seem fun to make =)

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 11 Mar 2011 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Well HELL!!! I finally caught up you little sheathen!!

I restrained myself so well I almost feel like I deserve a cookie or something!!!

haha!!

AWESOME STILL TOTALLY AWESOME!

The cock and barbs....can we say HOLY SHIT!? THATS JUST CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY!

Man I thought I had a twisted fucking mind!!! hahaha....

I am now tapping my finger on my chin and wondering I wouldn't mind being STUCK with Edward!

haha...

too fucking HAWT FOR WORDS!!!!

You my dear are scandalous! This is great! Now I have to wait and that just plain ass SUCKS!!!

Still love your story!

HuGs!!!

Drea~

ps....I am utilizing this photo of Edward for my next story! This photo is just FUCK HAWT and he fits the description of my new VaMp DoM!



Author's Response:

OMG!!!!! That pic is FUCKHAWT!!!!! *fans self*  hehe

Thank you so much! I'm glad you still likey. I'm trying my best to finish ch 13 this weekend. RL has been tough, and classes added with hw and research and studying. Just UGH! I hate it =(

LMAO@ twisted mind. Hehe And I'm holding back too. I could turn this reeeeeeeeaaaaallly twisted. lol

Awesome about your new story!!!! I will check that out when you start posting. I'm still playing catch up with EEK too and a few others. I promise I'll get back to it after this weekend. It feels like I never have enough hours in a day, the days are flying by.

Thank you so much =) Loved your comment!!!

*hugs*

xxOo

Jells

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 13 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Oh my EFFING GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS? 

My lovely beta Tracy Reccd me to this story and I finally got to it! 

 

Can I first say Thank you Tracy because you are like my Demi God. Now with that I have to say that this story WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME! LITERALLY!

 

I have had goosebumps and my heart is racing and all of these really starnge feelings that you get when you fall in love. 

 

YES I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOUR EDWARD! 

He makes me want to literally worship at his feet. My GOD!  YOU ARE KILLING ME WITH THE PURRING! 

 

I know that I have my Bella do it but to hear your Edward? Jesus I cant fucking breathe!

 

The fangs. FUCK FUCK FUCK!  This is just too much. I now found myself going through my photo collection and now have a file labeled Edward's FANG file. See example above!

 

I LOVE YOUR FUCKING STORY! IT IS JUST FUCKING SO AWESOME! IF YOU DON'T MIND I WOULD LOVE TO REC IT TO MY READERS BECAUSE ANY VAMPIRE FAN SHOULD BE BLESSED WITH THIS PIECE OF WORK! 

 

I admit I want to read it all right now but you are only twelve chapters in and to be forced to wait for updates for this WILL KILL ME so I am reading it slow! I have to otherwise I would seriously hunt you down and go all MISERY on you and that is just so wrong but I can't help it. So you are safe till I get through. Just pray to God I never catch up until the end because I can channel Kathy Bates! 

 

Thanks from the bottom of my fang loving heart!

Robshandmonkey!

 

 



Author's Response:

OMG!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!

 

Do you have ANY idea how much your comment made my day???!!!

 

You’re totally awesome!!! I’m soo honored that you took the time to read this story. Gaaah! I’m like speechless right now.

 

First of all I just LOVE the Fangward pics!!! Love, love, effin’ love ‘em!!!  As you can tell, I LOVE fangs! LOL 

 

Aww thank you so much! I’m so happy that you like this story! And I love that you love Fangward too. You’ll see in later chapters how much Fangward purrs when Bella pleases him. Lol

 

Oh wow! No I don’t mind. I’m so honored that you would rec this story to your readers! Thank you so much!!

 

LMAO@ going all Misery on me. Love that movie btw. LOL. No prob, read it slow. I’m working on a report right now so I won’t update until the end of February. =/  Classes have been taking up some  of my precious reading and writing time. And I will most definitely make my way to EEK.  I’m s’cited!!! I heard fuckawesome stuff about your story!!!

 

Thanks again!!! And thank you Tracy! You are both awesome! Thanks so much!! LOVED your review!!!

XxOo

 

~Jells

 lAV banner 4

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 18 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Sighhhhhhhhh...okay so I made it through chapter six...that means i am gaining on you girl....lol...

Me thinks Edward is going to be a little pissed off at the bruising...that can't be good...god he is so fiercely sexy as all fuck...ugh makes me girly parts tingle...

hahaha....

hope school is out for the weekend and we get to hear from you? bats her lashes at you and winks too....

giggling my ass off!!!

stories/38448/images/new_avatar2.jpg yes that is exactly what you think it is....sorry i am slut for the mans hand....now if i could just get him to stick it in a ink pad so i can have it transferred  to my right ass cheek i will die and go to heaven literally  a happy heathean!!!

hahahaha!

I am venturing on...next chapter



Author's Response:

OMGGGGGG!!! You're so awesome!!!

LOVE that hand print!!!! Thank you!!!! hahhahaa@ stick on an ink pad to transfer it on ur right ass cheek!!! Buahhaha!!! IKR? I'd wear it proudly!!!

Yeah, I'll be around. I'm working on LAH right now so I can get to write ch 13 for LAV. Message me if you fee like it. I'll be taking breaks here and there.

XxOo

Jells

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 19 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

OH MY FUCKING GAWD HE CALLS HER KITTEN????????????????????????? AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM IN TEARS!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY! FUCK ME SIDEWAYS RUNNING! CARVING TATS AND POWDER GLOWING GREEN VENOM AND BLOOD SPURTING ORGASMS ALL ASIDE THIS IS JUST SHIT FUCKING HAWT!!! MARKING IN PUBLIC ON A CAFTERIA TABLE LOVING! WOO HOOOOO...I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS FUCKING STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOW WHEN DOES HE TAT KITTEN ON HIS ASS CHEEK? LEFT ARM? BACK? HIP? HAHAHA.... JELLS BABY I AM CATCHING UP....YOU BETTER START RUNNING!!! GIGGLES... NEXT CHAPTER...I WILL SAVE FOR TOMMOROW BUT THIS IS REALLY USING EDWARD CONTROL AND STRENGTH I HAVE TO ADMIT THIS SHIT IS HARD...UGH....
I♥♥♥U!!!!


Author's Response:

LMAOOOOOOO!!!

Yup. He calls her Kitten in here, too. We think alike. I ALWAYS loved Kitten, sounds sexy when it leaves Edward's lips. If I were a vamp, I'd purr everytime Edward would call me Kitten. ;) Just fucking serious!

Thank you so much!! =) I'm happy you like my F***ed story! lol I LLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE yours. EEK is so fucking HOT!!!! I'm constantly sneaking in to read more. ;)

Hhahaha he so should tat her nickname to other body parts as well. me likey!

Thanks for your awesome reviews, they made my day!

Love ya <3

XxOo

Jells

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 19 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

There are some really stupid vampires in this chapter...james...mike....vic....

duh...but i cracked the fuck up at the little six year old vamp!

“Can we take her home and eat her, Momma?” The little blond vampire asked, his expression hopeful.

"I wish, honey,” the mom replied solemnly.

THAT SHIT WAS FUNNY!!!

I could hear Edward saying the same thing.

 

"Can I take you home and eat you Bella?" hahahahah....okay my bad! sorry...hehe...

Edward is gonna flip when he sees his kitten all marked....

SIC HER EDWARD!

lol....I am so lost in this but I swear only two chapters today...thankfully i have to work later woo hoo...

MUAH!



Author's Response:

Oh shit!!! I went back to look at the reviews I gotten and  I saw I missed your review! Pleeeease forgive me, it was late last night and I was writing LAH in between! Which I have almost finished btw....gahhhh but I have difficutly with extreme darkward. I can't get him right. =( *pouts*

Anyhoo,

LMAO Yes Very stupid vampires. You'll find more along the way. =/ Some very dumb ones at that lol

LMAO! Yeah can you believe that little demon spawn kid? Ugh! I wanna slap him. But that won't be the last of them. lol They'll be back.

LMAO@ Edward wanting to eat Bella. Hehehe Well...he does kinda snack on her ;) lol

Edward definitely will flip. But I hope you'll like it still because I didn't do the obvious.

Thanks again for your comments. I LOVE 'em all!!!

Again, sorry for not responding sooner. =(

Hugs

XxxxOOo

~Jells

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Feb 2012 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

You know I love the hell out of you right....?

I  held off reviewing for the mere fact that I held off reading so I could get a huge dose of this beast....

I am so glad I did...I got so much to look forward too..wooo hoo...



Author's Response:

Dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! 

 

*hugs* 

 

Thanks so much bb!!! 

 

I worked on this sucker for over two months long. I had lost over 50% when my 'puter crashed from that virus. I was about to give up, I really couldn't find the energy to keep going, esp with classes and work and drama bullshit

 

Anyways, I'll see ya around. I'll squeeze in a few chaps on EEK this week, tho I have to reread the last chappy first.

 

Laters

 

xox

 

*Giggles*

 

fangslikeme

Summary:

flod

 

 

 

Dr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen is a world renowned pediatric neurologist, he´s also a very sought after Dominant living in the Seattle area. What happens when the thrill of the playroom is no longer enough? What happens when he wants more than just a Friday through Sunday arrangement... Bella Swan a very young and very successful Corporate Attorney, who happens to be secretly crushing on her best friends older brother. It all starts with a dream, but after a very short, but failed marriage, Bella decides it´s time to give in to her submissive nature. With the help of her best friend and a blind date, can Bella finally find all the things her live is missing. ExB Rated for BDSM themes and lemony goodness. 

 

A very big thank you to the wonderful Kris Mkystich for my new banner!  Isn´t it sexy!!! Check her out in the December Drabble Wars!!  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8769101/3/School-Of-Mischief

 

 

Winner of a Tomato Soup Award!

 

 

Nomimated for two Wordsmith Awards!

 

 

 

Voted Must Read Monday by Twi Girls Next Door

 

 

Winner of two Wordsmith Awards!

 

 

 

 


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Romance
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Domward's Dungeon, Bdsm stories only, Twilight - Read, Drive's Stories to read that are Completed and Not completed, Can't wait for an update, Stories I've Already read, My Favorite Stories, Misstoria's Stories to Read, J's Read and Loved Stories, Fav BDSM Fics
Chapters: 31 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 312058 Read Count: 385947
[Report This] Published: 07 Nov 2010 Updated: 19 Aug 2016
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 23 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 1: PROLOGUE: BLIND DATING

I AM VERY INTRIGUED!!!!

You Got My attention......although I despise the word Cunt (shudders when I hear Edward say it even though I had Edwarcula say it once) I am anxious to continue...

I love it when they don't know who the other is..lol...



Author's Response:

Ha ha! She has her uh... needs! I guess it works for them.  lol! Welcome aboard and thanks for reading and reviewing!


Krazi

Summary: Past Featured Story

 

 

 

In a world dominated by vampires, humans are forced to abide by the strict rules of the vampire government. Bella has never experienced life in an all-human world and one day the only life she knows shatters to pieces when she is kidnapped and sold to a vampire. She is unfortunately the object of the most ruthless, out of control, vampire‘s affection. Her life turns upside down as she moves to an all-vampire town. Will she have the strength to go on after all that she has endured her personal hell? Will the one special vampire heal her wounds as she struggles to live a life amongst vampires or will she become the victim of their most sinister instincts? Edward and Bella pairing, AU, OOC

Warning: This story contains explicit adult content, language, violence, vampire marking and blood play, Extreme Dark-ward, and murder.

Alternate version of the original story, Living Amongst Vampires. By IBELONGTOAVAMPIRE.

L.A.H, is co-written by Thaigher Lillie

Tkegl...Thank you!

 


Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, Alternate Universe
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Love to drive's Stories to read
Chapters: 25 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 89094 Read Count: 128500
[Report This] Published: 22 Nov 2010 Updated: 10 Oct 2014
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 04 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Hiss Pt.3 (Actual Chapter)

RAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Never been more sure in my life!!!!!!

I ABOUT DIED WHEN I READ THIS!!!!!

“You’re pathetic.”   

“Says the human who fucks the prince.”

“See if it’ll happen again.”

“I bet it will. That pussy is mine. You know it. I know it. Stop with the fucking games.”

ADMIT IT BELLA HE OWNS ALL OF US!!!!

Barbed by E



Author's Response:

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Mar 2012 Title: Chapter 21: Revolutionary Red pt.1 (actual chapter)

“”We like to be different. What can I say. Like with human genetics, are we either or? Or are we mixed? Are there not some of our kind who are Black, Chinese, or mexican who are born with blue or green eyes? Genetics is a tricky thing isn't it...You can't tell when, where , or why things are created, they just are.””

 

 

And this is why I love this story and you both so freaking much…because you are different. I posted a rec for the LAV/LAH to my facebook fangroup and sent them all to read this awesome shit you guys write. Some said they were already reading. I wished everyone read this and understood that being different doesn’t mean we are freaks. It means we are just well…different.

 

Purr…Purr….Purr…

 

I idolize your purrward…and yeah I still daydream about being barbed too! Snorts…. and with that I made you both something...giggling her ass off...you two just inspire the fuck out of me to envision this badassward...and well so this is what I came up with....

 

giggles...okay instead of our BON JOVI EDWARD this is more like Heavy Metal Edward... laughs...

lah edward

the one below isn't finished...but i thought I would post it anyway...

LAH BANNERs

I ♥ you both so hard!

Muahhhhhhh!

Hopefully this inspires you to write that next one faster....i will preread if need be...

...I suck as a beta...lol...xoxo

Drea...aka ♥Robshandmonkey♥



Author's Response:

Dreeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaa!!! *waves*

 

THANKS SOFAKING MUCH FOR THE BANNER! WE LOVE IT!!!! *hugsss* And heavy metal Edward is HAWT!!!

 

Thanks so much for the rec'd as well. You are so good to us, bb! 

 

So we aren't freaks then? Darn. lmao j/k 

 

We'll get on the next chappy asap. 

 

Thanks, bb!

 

Loves <3 hard!

 

Jells N Tyggy!!! 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 16 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue (In Peace we do not come)

This story is so freaking cool!

When I read Edward had long hair and FANGS? I about had a heart attack....

so I decided to see if I could do some magic....

 

AND DAMN IF HE STILL DON'T LOOK MOTHERFUCKING SEXY!!!

love the story love the twists and bloodlust....and I am going to die till you update again!

sigh!!!

 

AWESOME!!

 




Author's Response:

OMG! You're so AWESOME!!!!

Thank you =) Love the banner.

Yeah, you'll see what the meaning of his long hair is and why it will get cut in later chapters. lol

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

We'll post more evil vamps soon. RL is crazy =/

XxOo

Jells

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 17: Red Sky (Part One-Mini)

Okay I never got the notice for this update! WHAT THE HELL??? and with that OMG THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER....

u two have me vibrating in my chair....no seriously vibrating in my chair with anticipation....

I can hear EDWARD ROAR!  I swear this EDWARD IS SO FUCKHOT HE MAKES ALL OTHER EDWARDS WUSSIES!

aRggGHhhhhhhhhh!!!!

I have this visual in my head and GOD I SWEAR ON MY VAMPIRE ENCYCLOPEDIA (and yes I do have one that is MASSIVE) that I will find a body that I can put EDWARD'S HEAD ON THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE I IMAGINE THIS EDWARD TO LOOK IN HIS TRUE FORM!!!

RAWWWWWWWR!!!!! and squealing that I got another chapter to read now!!! woop woop!!!

ten thousand coffee cups for both of you!



Author's Response:

*runs and hugs you*

 

Thanks bb!!!  Oooooo a Vamp encyclopedia!!! That's awesome!!! 

 

PS We LOVE Edward's ROAR!!! Bring it!!!! lol

 

xoxo

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 21 Aug 2011 Title: Chapter 11: The Gauntlet Pt 2

♥ two hundred and fifty thousand fucking coffee cups for you!

GAWD DAMN I LIVE FOR THIS FUCKING STORY!

It is so off the wall and just fucking awesometackular!

You bitches rawk my fucking socks off with this shit...

He peed on her! bwhahahahaha....too fucking twisted...a little watersports there hey Edward....

I swear to fucking gawd if you take too long to update this again jells your ass is all mine! I am going to hunt you down and pour honey on your cooch and tie you to a tree next to a bee hive bitch if you don't get the next chapter up asap!

oh lord did i just say that? damn I been listening to tygs and her tweeter too much! hahahaha

MUAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 



Author's Response:

Dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! *waves*

Sorry for the super late response, things have been crazy lately.

LMFAO! I swear the next chapter won't take  long to update. I'm workin' on half of it then Tygs will finish the rest. Or at least I hope lolol

Yeah LMAO Tygs is rubbing off on you!!! xD

Xxoo

Jells

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 09 Oct 2011 Title: Chapter 12: Urge

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it was too short! le sigh...I lovvvvvvvvve this story you both know it and I put off reading hoping that when I finally do read it you are both closer to posting....so when will that be chickadee? did I wait long enough?

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 31 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 14: Hiss Pt.1 (Actual Chapter)

EAT? SERIOUSLY? NOW OF all times! ARE U INSANE!!!! forgo food WOMAN !!!

squeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaals noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

hangs her head and sobs......god this  is my life....it sucks.....my favorite story EVER AND SHE HAS TO GO EAT! listen if I pop a grape in your mouth on occasion will that work?

 

snickers....

 

oh EDWARD you sexy fucking beast I wanna get barbed!!!

unf!!!!!!!!!

 



Author's Response:

I totally am going to author's note your ass next chapter for this! I should make a banner just for you  "I WANNA GET BARBED!" i CHOKED A LITTLE ON MY FOOD LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF!!! 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 02 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 15: Hiss Pt.2 (Actual Chapter)

stories/38448/images/barbed.jpg*snort giggles*

Summary: Past Featured Story

What if Edward did not take the dramatic route and wait till noon to step into the sun in Volterra?  What if Alice and Bella were incapable of getting to him in time?  What if he was not the only casualty of bad timing and misread visions?

 

This story takes us down an alternate path than what we followed in New Moon.  The Cullen’s are no longer whole and Bella is so badly damaged that she may be unreachable as she closes herself off to the pain of the outside world.

 

Can a new love save her?  Can his voice pull her from the darkness?

 

This story is rated NC-17 for major angst, suicide and the possibility of far off lemons (who am I kidding?  If you have read any of my stories, you know there will be lemons…but not for a while).

The top banner and this lovely blinkie is brought to you by my banner goddess, MissKingAtYourService.  Check out her blog at misskingatyourservice.blogspot.com/.


Categories: Twilight, Non-Canon Pairings, Alternate Universe
Characters: Bella/Carlisle
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's Read Stories
Chapters: 28 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 140978 Read Count: 72246
[Report This] Published: 24 Dec 2010 Updated: 10 Apr 2012
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 11 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- When It All Went Wrong

You know I am not a fan of the whole Carlisle and Bella thing cause I struggle with her being with anyone but Edward but damn girl I have to tell you the scene where he says goodbye to her fucking did me in! I was balling my head off!

That shit hit me hard! So you know you are fuckawesome if you can affect a reader like that!!!

Great fucking job!



Author's Response:

I loved this review.  It made me smile.  I will admit I used to be a hard sell on a story that was anything but B&E, but I read a few different pairings and found that I kind of liked the idea of B&C.  Not to mention that Carlisle is most definately my second favorite Cullen man.  Thanks for the review and for giving this a chance.  I hope I keep you coming back for more.

Till next time

Nickey

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 11 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8- Final Goodbyes and Reunions

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me that I would come back and read it again only to torture myself but I did and yep I got tears! Kicking myself.

I don't see how she can survive with out him. I would lay down right there and die!



Author's Response:

Don't you remember?  That was how this whole thing started.  But Edward was right, she is much stronger than she realizes.  Edward would have never left her if she wasn't strong enough to return to her life.

Thanks so much for the review.

Till next time

Nickey

Summary:

cam

Edward is an Incubus, Obsessed with an impending war with the Volturi Coven.  Although he is powerful, he isn't powerful enough to take over their reign by himself. He cultivates a plan secretly using women around the world a to carry his seed, breeding hybrid warriors, that will train and aid him in his quest to over-throw Volterra. The time is comming near to take the vampire community by storm, yet the one thing he can not continue with-out, is a male heir. He will stop at nothing to find a vessel strong enough to bear his son, Unfortunately for Bella.....she just may be the one....

Warning! Contains: Very graffic content.  Sex, Violence, Murder, Blood and Guts,Somnophilia,Biastophilia,Extreme Darkward and other characters, Morbidness.

If you have some sort of hero complex and can't deal with the above issues, don't read this, keep it moving, find another fic.


Categories: Twilight, Alternate Universe, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Horror
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 8 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 23561 Read Count: 15519
[Report This] Published: 05 Jan 2011 Updated: 25 Dec 2011
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 12 Jun 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Of Blood And Ice

OH MY GOD YOU ARE WRITING ANOTHER ONE!!

I CAN'T FIND THE TIME TO SQUEEZE BABY DOLL IN AND NOW YOU PUT OUT ONE LIKE THIS....ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE AWAY MY LIFE COMPLETELY....

I JUST FINISHED RE READING LAV AND LAH AND STARTED TO READ THAT OTHER ONE WHICH I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I AM STRUGGLING TO GET INTO....

I SEE YOUR POINT ABOUT SOME OF IT BUT BABY IT DOESN'T COMPARE TO ANYTHING YOU GUYS DO....YOU GUYS ARE FUCKAWESOME AND NOW THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING TO GO ON READING THAT WHEN YOU DELIVER THIS!

SERIOUSLY?

I CAN'T WAIT TO READ THIS!

MY FIRST REVIEW FOR IT WILL BE CHAPTER TWO THOUGH...SINCE IT WON'T LET ME REVIEW TWICE....I KNOW ITS TEN CUPS ALREADY....

I MEAN MY GOD YOU GOT ME READING A STORY ABOUT A FREAK A LEAK NAMED CALEB AND I HAVEN'T READ ANYTHING OTHER THAN EDWARD IN OVER A DAMN YEAR SO THAT SAYS SOMETHING BABYCAKES!!

OFF TO READ!



Author's Response:

Actually. This story has 16 previous chapters i started writing awhile ago, and took it down for mass adjustment. So i'm reposting it as i go. This Edward is a bit on the ...uncaring side. The LAH Edward and this Edward have NOTHING in common, However, LAH Edward is pretty much the older version of a character I'll have in this story.

I hope you like this. It's so fuckign dark though, i asked Jells about this, because i asked myself...how the fuck did i not get reported for some of this shit. lmao.

 

lmao I hope you like it babes! Caleb is a character, but he's so easy to write about. Especially when they have people who are in movies just like him. The human centipede's Scientist/Surgeon is a wonderful visual for how our caleb is. Truly disurbed lmao.!

This Edward just needs some TLC lmao! he is such a sour puss.

Summary: Past Featured Story

 

PostSecret Used: My downstairs neighbor and I have screaming matches to see who’s the loudest during sex, I usually win.

Summary: Edward is a player and rising pornstar who abuses his peen on a daily basis, demanding performance and the utmost behavior from it. Well, now it’s time for the tale to be told.

 

 

fs

 

 


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Erotica, Humor
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: My all time favorites, Amberina's Completed Favs List, G8or Favor8s Read, My Favorite Stories
Chapters: 20 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 74658 Read Count: 41167
[Report This] Published: 17 Jan 2011 Updated: 26 Nov 2011
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 06 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Cracking the fuck up!!!!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 24 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 Aiding the Assistant

Awww. It was sad news to hear of Uber's passing. You did a great tribute to her!

Great Job!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08 Jul 2011 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 Switching Roles

 I laughed so hard I fucking cried!
I loved these lines!

 

I know! I don’t have a tongue, but go with me here, ok?

 Fuck yes! Finally! I get to play, I get to play! I sang out as I did my little peen dance, complete with top hat and cane. Don’t ask where I got them from because I don’t really know.

In, out. In, out. In, out. I slammed into her cervix with each pass, most likely giving myself a black eye in the process. Occupational hazard, if you will.


I swear to fucking God you were a penis in your past life weren't you? roflmao!!!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 Oct 2011 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 Deals

bangs her head on the desk hard and cries out why??????????

 

Why does every fanfic I read any more always have to deny their hot sex?

 

This is confessions of a peen for God's sake! You would think that it was all about puss....but noooooooo.....we have to get all swoony and romantic first? Seriously you are killing me BB!!!

 

I can't stand it! I am going to lose my fucking mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!

 

Fold Your Wings by Jadalulu Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 989]
Summary:

'The liberties he assumes with my body should enrage me, anger me beyond my own sanity. But it's just not that simple.' Encounters born of need. Consequences neither saw coming. Guard your hearts. Not the ExB you're used to. 

 


Categories: Twilight, All Human
Characters: None
Genre: Drama
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: My All-Time Favorites, Fics to Read, I Whitlock's read , Ageise02 WIP Reads, My Favorite Stories
Chapters: 22 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 104224 Read Count: 142239
[Report This] Published: 18 Apr 2011 Updated: 04 Dec 2011
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 Aug 2011 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 17

Nineteen.

I have nineteen strands of hair....laid out in front of me. One is shorter than the other.

It may even be greyer. I look closer....yep definitely greyer.

I could almost braid these. Make a little hair extension out of it. Tie a bow on the end of it.

Huh.

I wonder if it is worth anything?

Nah...who would buy the worlds tiniest rubber band around nineteen hairs one shorter than the others, one definitely greyer with a bow on on the end of it.

Maybe if it was a pink bow?

Nah no one likes pink.

Red.

Yeah Red.

Pre chapter Seventeen....I had nineteen hairs thicker on the top of my head.

Maybe next chappy I won't lose any...one can only hope though....

♥ this story even if it is making me bald

drea aka robshandmonkey aka the crazy bitch going bald over a fuckawesomefanfic

le sigh.....

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 15 May 2011 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 8

"But seriously, Swan. You work too damn hard not to have a little fun too. A good hard fucking. That's the answer to all of life's problems, that's what I say."

 

i laughed my ass off at this...

 

 

 

 

and YOU GO BELLA

Because tonight...I took too.

 

GOD I MUST BE A DEVIANT BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE THE BEST RELATIONSHIP EVER....NO BULLSHIT IN BETWEEN!

HANGS HER HEAD FOR A SECOND ONLY CAUSE SHE HAS TO GET TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!

I LOVE YOUR STORY!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

I have heard nothing but fold your wings and something about a roughward...from friends that say you have to read this!!

huh...so I took five minutes to check it out and jesus my fans are going to kill me  because fuck that if they think I am working on the next chapter when I got thirteen chapters of this to look forward too....I am diving in...

Love it so far....but let me warn you little lassie....if my fans come running with pitchforks you are on your own!!! lmao....just sayin.....

cant wait to keep going....I like me a roughward...so i am going to go get hooked....

awesome so far....I don't get to read much anymore with Shhhhh..... on my plate but i have to read this i just cant wait..

drea aka ♥robshandmonkey♥.

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 14 May 2011 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3

Fuck me running sideways!!!!!!!

Holy shit in a handbasket where the fuck do i sign up for this god damn job!

No SERIOUSLY!! HE CAN CALL ME HIS BITCH SMACK MY ASS AND RIDE ME HARD AND ROUGH...SLAM THE DOOR ON MY FACE WHEN HE IS DONE BUT YOU KNOW FOR SURE AS FUCK...THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE WOULD BE DANCING ON HER WAY TO THE BANK WITH A SORE ASS FROM ALL THE RAMMIN AND A SLAMMIN....

BUT FUCK ME I AM EDWARD CULLENS WHORE....REALITY...WOULD I DO THIS....

WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP! hell....I WILL PULL MY OWN GODDAMN HAIR FOR HIM SO HE DON'T HAVE TO....

YOU ARE A FUCKING RAWK GAWD...

NO KISSING ....OKAY BABY YOU GOT IT I CAN LIVE WITHOUT IT SO LONG AS I SCREAM HIS NAME....HELL HE DONT EVEN HAVE TO GET ME OFF....I CAN DO IT LATER RELIVING THE DAMN FANTASY...

I HAVE NO SHAME I AM A HooR AND PROUD OF IT! !

 

GOOD GRIEF I DIED AND GONE TO FUCK WITHOUT A CLAUSE HEAVEN! YAY BABY!

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 14 May 2011 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 4

okay did i miss something did she come? lol....

hell he is one sexy selfish son of bitch...I would smile kiss the envelope go home and get the fuck off and skip on the way to the bank on monday...

shame?  this girl has none!

I mean come fucking on ITS EDWARD CULLEN FOR CHRISTS SAKE! ADMIT IT!

we all would do it if we could!

See ya Next saturday...EDWARRRRRRRRRRD!

 

lmao....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 15 May 2011 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 5

I throw away my panties with the condom and pocket the cash.

 

God I love the shit out of her!!! lol....this is great!!

You GO  BELLA!

 

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 16 May 2011 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 11

jumps up and down and waves at jada!!

Welcome to the darkside!!

I totally understand the fanfiction boot....they warned me before I posted chapter 18 of my BDSM fanfic...they said you post it you lose it...so I posted part of it and had the rest posted on my blog...then one of the awesome ladies here read my story and invited me over and EEK has found a home here!

This site is awesome the peopole are awesome and you have no worries.

So welcome to the darkside!

Now for your story...

UNFREAKING real...love it hooked on it keep reading it slowly trying to hold off but can I move in with you so I don't have to wait for updates and just look over your shoulder as you type...lol...

Just kidding...

to your blinkie maker she fucking rawks seriously....I perve that damn thing too much...lol twisted i know but thats a hot blinkie...

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08 Jun 2011 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 14

Well hell I didn't learn anything more than I had from just reading the story.

It is pretty much a typical sitaution but then again it isn't ya know what I mean?

Isabella was mentally abused as a child and is used to being treated like crap by her parents.

Edward comes along and repeats the whole scenario because he knows he can.

My question is what the fuck could be so bad that happened to Edward that he could go from a loving father to a total DICK in a short span of time?

I am sure it is just as typical but I hope not.

A. They were killed in some horrible accident Edward blames his family or himself for.

B. He killed them accidentally somehow maybe falling asleep at the wheel.. and is taking  everything he has lost out on his family.

C. She left him for some obvious reason...but his parents know where she is and won't tell him because he has gone insane and isn't acting rationally around his wife and the fact that she left him taking his kid and now they are choosing to not tell him where she is and they think this is best for him.

D. They were killed when he left them in the care of his family...in some horrible accident and he blames them.

or are we going to get some really cool off the wall surprise and find out something new and original???

So out with it girl! We wanna know what makes Edward a monster??

Isabella is easy to figure out and it was pretty much a given that he had to of heard everything he said when he approached her anyone that didn't get that was just dense....so I wanna know!!!

You are not giving any clues to his story....and why the hell would he say that he wouldn't see her again if she doesn't know why he did what he did?

I mean everyone has an excuse for why we do what we do..did Edward think that saying sorry he was in a bad bad bad place...not even clueing her in as to why he was in that bad place is right or fair to her. Especially when she looks at him with compassion?

God I love your story. You make me use my brain for once in a long time! It has me reeling!

And I swear to God that fucking blinkie you have is EPIC in my book...with your permission I would love to add it to my website to send people to read your story.

(snickers...not to mention the fact that I like to just watch it cycle through! perve I know! lol I make no excuses!)

Everyone should be reading this seriously...I mean I get that some people can't handle certain things but I hate when someone reads a few chapters and doesn' t give the story the time of day based on their opinion of a half assed story! I know trust me! I have been accused of tryint to turn them against Edward which is the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever claimed because my love for that character is so deep that to imagine people out there thinking shit like that is just beyond intelligent! I love that the fanfiction world loves ALL OF THE EDWARD's we create!

Roughie is in with the rest along with Beautiful Bastard, MafiaWard, all the Darkwards, even Vampwards...he deserves just as much attenion as all the rest and I am so glad you brought this story here!

Thanks! You RAWK!

 

 

 

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 02 Aug 2011 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 16

4745 words later and all we get is his daughter is alive...

16 chapters to learn Edward pays a ridiculous amount of money to fuck and treat Bella like shit, is estranged from his family that obviously has something to do with his daughter who is alive and not dead.

Why do I feel like this is dragging on and on and I am getting no where?

How can I love a story that leaves me with I still got nothing each chapter you write?

I dont fucking get it!

If Edward thought he was frustrated with his inability to read Bella's mind in Twilight...he should be in my head right now to know what frustrating really is!!!

UGH!!!

Stop twittering and start writing before I turn all Kathy Bates on your ass!

and screw the teasers because if your teasers are anything like the story itself I will literally die!

*gigglesnorts*

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06 Sep 2011 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 18

*head falls to the desk and a loud thud echo's through the RHM home.

She comes around an hour later and looks up thinking she finally got a hint of

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS CHAPTER....but to her dismay....all

she actually got was that Edward likes fucking fluffy coffee, it was a panic

attack to explain his actions at the wedding, Rene is grieving and blaming,

Charlie is just a selfish son of a bitch, Bella is fucked up mentally probably

worse than Edward.....

AND I STILL DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT FUCKING EDWARD!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!?????

taps a fellow reader on the shoulder and says did I miss something? I

mean we are nearing twenty fucking chapters here and I still DONT KNOW

SHIT!!!

fellow reader looks over and says...I don't think you missed anything cause none of us know really what is going on...

RHM wipes her brow and says whew! thanks! I thought i was just stupid or something....

Fellow reader laughs and says you are...I mean her writing is stellar....her style is a little strange but she still has us hooked waiting and wanting....

RHM narrows her eyes at fellow reader irked for pointing out the obvious...because I am still waiting and wanting...

You are by far the most frustrating author I have ever read...

and I mean that is a good thing because this stupid hOOr keeps coming back and to hold my attention for so long is really something...I usually would have gotten frustrated to the point of saying fuck this...I will read it when it's done but then here I am clicking again when you update...

I need to go put ice on my forehead....I got a nasty lump!

walks away mumbling and cursing....((#)#*^%$)

Summary:

 

 

Banner by lovely and talented  Mehek18!

Checkout her awesome work: Mehek18.tumblr.com -

grass

Summary: 33 yr old billionaire tycoon, Edward Cullen is engaged to his childhood sweetheart and Chicago´s cutthroat DA, Isabella Swan; it would appear they were the perfect power couple, but everyone has secrets, some a little darker than others.  Enter 17 yr old Jasper Whitlock, recently orphaned and emotionally troubled he leaves his home in Texas and moves in with his cousin Rosalie and her husband Emmett McCarty, he too has a few skeletons in his closet.  As a favor to his friends; Edward hires Jasper to be his yard boy for the summer. What happens when just after two weeks more than just the hedges are being trimmed at the Cullen/Swan Esate?  And just how does DA Swan fit into all of this? Poly/Slash/Kink, OOC, E/B, E/J, E/BJ

http://www.krazi4twisaga-thegrassisalwaysgreener.blogspot.com/


Categories: Twilight, All Human, Non-Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward/Jasper
Genre: Erotica, Slash
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Drive's Stories to read that are Completed and Not completed, Can't wait for an update
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 45044 Read Count: 35590
[Report This] Published: 14 Jul 2011 Updated: 01 Jan 2013
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 28 Aug 2011 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Surprise Dinner Guest...

lol...do great minds think alike or what?  I see you discovered the animated gif feature lol....I just added one today and went wow! Then I got the update notice for this chapter and went shit what a coincidence!!

Now I have to go back and maybe edit my previous chapters to accomadate!

Awesome...although still for some reason its just way hotter to hear Edward call Isabella baby girl than it is for Bella to call Edward baby boy...I dunno...I just get so creeped out by the whole momma thing but I am willing to look past that part and swipe the word with something different...like Kitten....but thats just me....

Other wise I love the story... Jasper seems so much more relaxed around Edward all of a sudden doesn't he....?

I am anxiously awaiting for that first fuckhawt kiss they share....arghhhhhhhh~

 

ciao bella

drea

aka

♥robshandmonkey♥

 

 

 




Author's Response:

Sorry my response is so late, but I just wanted to personally take time out to thank you for reading and reviewing my story! Hope you will continue to read!

Krazi

xoxo

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 19 Jul 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Two┤s Company... Three┤s So Much Better...

As always I want to know what everyone thinks.

This is what you said so here it goes....

 

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THAT SHIT WAS HOT....ALLL UP until he said mommy. then it just got a little wierd. But that is just me I guess...other than that Good God almighty....just UGH!

Yummy...now...calming down...

Now...as for the blog I am gonna be really honest....I tried it...and I am glad I got to read it from here without the visuals.

I am a visual person you know this...but the blog killed it for me totally when I tried to read it from there...It stole the visuals of it actually being Edward and Jasper when another guys face is in the photo....and maybe one too many different peens in the whole chapter....sublte is so much more alluring...

It simply isn't the same...but as far as everything else HOLY SCMOLEY!

hawt fucking hawt Hawt HAWT!.....did I say HAWT? lol....

Can't wait I hope you continue...

drea

aka

robshandmonkey~

 

 



Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed it!  BTW... I'm a fan of your work as well.  Sorry about the blog, but it just gives and idea of what's going on, sorry I'm not a manipper, so one has to imagine whatever head the want on the bodies!  Lol! Hope you'll stick around! Thanks for reading and taking the time to review!  Be sure to check out the blog for teasers and picspiration!

http://www.krazi4twisaga-thegrassisalwaysgreener.blogspot.com/


Krazi

xoxo


Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 23 Aug 2011 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 It┤s Not Easy... Being Me...

♥OMG that was fuck awesome!!!♥

Still a little creeped out about the momma thing but otherwise....

speckfuckingtacular! So hawt!

Awesome visuals...felix is a hottie!!! yeowwwwwwww!

♥You RAWK Krazi!♥



Author's Response:

Lol! Thanx bb!  But be honest, there would be zero weirdness if Bella was calling Edward `Daddyward¨ and you know it!  This time I decided to turn the tables and put Bella in control!  Glad to hear you´re sticking around!  Thanks for reading and reviewing!


Krazi

xoxo

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Nov 2011 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Coming Together... The Consummation of the Trinity...

I freaking LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You rawk bb!!! I waited two updates before I read again....saving it up....squeals like a little school girl....Ed and Jazzy are gonna get their groove on.....

 

 



Author's Response:

Sorry my response is so late, but I just wanted to personally take time out to thank you for reading and reviewing my story! Hope you will continue to read!

Krazi

xoxo

Summary:

49 Banner

A collection of short stories, o/s's and other very short dark graphic tales that come from dreams, ephipanies, and plot bunnies. These are the tales from the very bottom of our imaginations. They are ours and ours alone.

Story I:

Fourty Nine. : Chapter 1-5: {Story Intermission} 10-11 {Story Intermission}

Follow a young man on a short journey with the love of his life. All is not what it seems, and for every action accounted for, there is a reaction. Even if it takes years to come back,all Karma will eventually show up. Be careful what you say and how you treat people. You never know who's counting...

 

Intermission-

Story- II

A Heavy Load: Retold Ghost tale. Chapters 6-9

One non believer, one dare, one horror filled night, and one entity set on being freed. How do you kill what is already dead?

Story-III

Mary Had A Little Lamb. Chapter 12.

 She followed her to school one day, school one day, school one day, this was against the rules..."    

Parental Advisery is advised. If you aren't old enough to buy cigarettes you aren't old enough to read this .


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human, Alternate Universe
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Horror, Humor, Mystery, One-Shot, Poetry, Romance, Sci-Fi, Supernatural, Suspense/Thriller
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 6843 Read Count: 4193
[Report This] Published: 24 Sep 2011 Updated: 28 Oct 2011
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 27 Sep 2011 Title: Chapter 3: Reason Number Twenty Two

I. FUCKING. LOVE. YOU. EDWARD. I. WILL. SLURP. YOUR. SEED. BABY!

 

GAH I LOVE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

for infinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 25 Sep 2011 Title: Chapter 2: What have I done?!

tick tock tick tock.....ummm taps on microphone...Hello? Is anyone there?

tick tock tick tock.....what a demented mother fucker...so is she dead? Alive? Is it even really her? Is it him? the other guy with the long brown hair? Jacob...he killed Jacob right? to keep her away from him?

tick tock tick tock.....waiting for the next mouse to finally run up the clock...

LOONEY? Who moi?

okay yeah maybe just a wittle bit...but that is why you love me so! MUAH!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 24 Sep 2011 Title: Chapter 1: You Got me Open Wide.

me likey dark...

next?

wait's tapping finger....tick tock tick tock tick tock....the mouse ran up the clock...

ring ring ring...hello? is anybody out there?

a tissue for you TL my love?

nah you can keep it...used hankeys are kinda gross...

taps her finger and waits...tick tock...tick tock...

 



Author's Response:

lmao hush up hefa. I'm writing it now. give me an hour. I don't want your hankie. It's probably got rob cum on it lmfao!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09 Oct 2011 Title: Chapter 5: Reason Number Forty-Eight.

So wait I am so confused...was it really her he killed or was it Jacob and her?

ugh...i am so clueless...i will reread....

Summary:

This is a sort of follow up/sequel to Confessions of an Overworked, Underpaid Peen. This will be little one shots of snippets of his life, little happenings, and such. EPPov AH, OOC


Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Erotica, Humor
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Amberina's Completed Favs List, G8or Favor8s Read, My Favorite Stories
Chapters: 11 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 11811 Read Count: 9158
[Report This] Published: 30 Nov 2011 Updated: 22 Oct 2012
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 02 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Engaged Peen

ROTFLMAO...GOD I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

YOU KILL ME....

I AM AN ENGAGED PEEN! i AM ENGAGED PEEN....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 02 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 It Poked Me

OH HOLY FUCK!!! i NEED OXYGEN! SERIOUSLY!!!

Master May I by smmiskimen Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 456]
Summary: Past Featured Story

mmi

Drabble fic. Edward is Bella's Master and is very particular in the playroom. But his sweet pet knows how to make him happy. E&B, AH, OOC. Banner by Soapy Mayhem

fs


Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: My all time favorites, Drive's Stories to read that are Completed and Not completed, Amberina's Completed Favs List, Stories I've Already read
Chapters: 93 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 9757 Read Count: 223264
[Report This] Published: 07 Dec 2011 Updated: 06 Jan 2012
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Damn that was short.....lol...okay gotcha Drabble.....huh....interesting...

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

snickers...sorry Bella from what I hear its like seventy four chapters later....but I hope I am wrong....gigglesnorts....I effin love this you are the worlds biggest TEASE EVER!

lol

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Oh GAWD! THIS IS GOING TO KILL ME!



Author's Response:

YOU CAVED!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!! You are going to LOVE IT! And I post a minimum of 2 chapters a day so you'll get a little Master all the time!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

dear god seeing stars......

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Okay I admit this shit is gettin me hot!! unfffff!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

unfffffffffff Gawd damn this is cruel!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

THUD!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 29 Dec 2011 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

woo hoo belt !

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

MINE IS! lol okay that was TMI DREA!! lol

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

impossible....I would suck as a sub....lol...I would moan like the hOOr that I am!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16

oh good gawd!

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Hell he don't know me at all and he is eliciting responses outta me! lol....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06 Jan 2012 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Yes! Yes! A thousand times YES!!!

 

Summary:

Edward Masen and Bella Swan, high school sweethearts who married young, have their lives turned upside down when Edward is “discovered”. Celebrity, tragedy, alcohol and excess dissolve what seems to be indestructible… or does it? Can love rise above fame and indulgence? Or does Hollywood truly alter what is good in a man?

 

 

 

Celebrity, Deconstructed Banner, by EvilNat


Categories: All Human, Twilight
Characters: None
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 56283 Read Count: 10537
[Report This] Published: 31 Jan 2012 Updated: 17 Nov 2015
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 03 Mar 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I have gone on a recommending wild spree...I hope you don't mind...this is too good to keep to myself...Sharing is caring.

and I did good...I havent read three but its chipping away at my resolve.

Chip.

Chip.

Chip.

lol.....



Author's Response: Please, rec away, sweetness! I don't mind at all :). Ahh, chapter 3, what happens then? OH! I know! It's interesting to say the least ;) Thank you, darling, for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 02 Mar 2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Two chapters in and I am already so giddy about this story I am going to force myself to stop after the next...and wait a few days...I hate works in progress but this has captured my attention and I am enraptured. Your writing is amazing....I literally felt like I was Bella standing in that desolate room waiting for her Edward. Being married and waiting for your hubby to come home from work after a long day was always so horrible for me. My anxiety growing the minute he should be walking in...and when he didn't that worry sinks in. Longing. God that was only the first chapter...and Edward...wow. one look and he is already lost to her...okay one more chapter...then I am holding off.... 



Author's Response: How did forcing yourself work out? I know the feeling of finding an awesome fic and trying to slow down your pace, lest you consume it entirely too quickly and are left feeling bereft. Thank you, sincerely, for your compliments, I'm blushing. Bella and Edward have a long, windy road ahead of them. I hope I do them, and the story, justice. Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing with your heart warming thoughts, they mean the world to me. *hugs*

Author's Response: How did forcing yourself work out? I know the feeling of finding an awesome fic and trying to slow down your pace, lest you consume it entirely too quickly and are left feeling bereft. Thank you, sincerely, for your compliments, I'm blushing. Bella and Edward have a long, windy road ahead of them. I hope I do them, and the story, justice. Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing with your heart warming thoughts, they mean the world to me. *hugs*

Summary:

 

Genre: Extreme Horror

 

Rated NC-17 for violence, gore, exhorror and rape.

 

Beta: BreathofTwilight

 

Length: Short Story


Categories: Non-Canon Pairings, Twilight
Characters: Other Misc Char or Pairings(nc)
Genre: Horror
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 6249 Read Count: 1079
[Report This] Published: 05 Jun 2012 Updated: 05 Jun 2012
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 10 Dec 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Things That Can Kill You In Chemistry

I think i lost my head when edward did....oh the horror woman! what are u doing ? lol.....

 

i liked it though u are twisted little puppy after my own heart!!!♥

Summary:

Revised April 2012: Bella Swan is a wallflower. Quiet and shy but with a secret lurking within her soul. Will her new professor and his TA be the ones to discover her secret and what will she think when she discovers theirs? Lemons galore. POLY B/E/J

award


Categories: Non-Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward/Jasper
Genre: Angst, Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Love to drive's Stories to read set 2, Stories Read by CNYBella, Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 46 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 69591 Read Count: 156104
[Report This] Published: 11 Jun 2012 Updated: 14 Jul 2012
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Meet Dr. Cullen

squealssssssssssssssssssssssssssss and runs straight into you tackle hugging and kissing the shit out of you!!! YOU CAME!!! YOU ARE HERE!!! YOU POSTED AN UPDATE.....ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHH...DOING THE SNOOPY HAPPY DANCE BACK AND FORTH WITH THE HEAD...JUMPING FROM ONE FOOT TO THE OTHER.....AND THIS STORY IS FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAWESOME!!!

now imagine the music....as snoopy's ears fly up....and I skip off to go readddddddddd....

 

I ♥♥♥ you hard!!!!

 

ten coffee cups... √

favorite author...√

favorite story.....√

let me know when this bitch updates....MOTHERFUCKING √√

 

MUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 



Author's Response:

And there's my favorite pyschotic nutcase that writes even crazier shit than me!  Drea, seriously... you crack me the fuck up everytime I hear from you/ chat with you.  LOL... thanks so much for this!

 

xoxo

texasbella

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 16 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 41: Wake Up Call

SIGH i HAVE FAITH IN EDWARD...HE IS GOING TO DO THE RIGHT THING...I JUST KNOW IT....SIGH...



Author's Response:

Hey darlin'!  LOL.. yes, Edward will come around... but you've got to know by now that he's lost his chance with Bella...

 

xoxo

tb

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 19 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 42: Mea Culpa

huh?

 

WHO THE HELL IS IT??

 

RUH ROH....!

 

I WOULD BE HAPPY TO WIPE HIS SNOTTY NOSE...ewww that just sounds all sorts of wrong now doesn't it? ewww. what is wrong with me?

hangs her head in shame for that last thought...okay maybe not shame...embarrassment....erase erase...hahaha....oh holy hell that was too fucking short WOMAN! MORRRRRRRRRRRRRE....pwease? bats her lashes....



Author's Response:

As to who it is, next chappie is already underway so you shouldnt' have to wait too long I hope.  That aside, think back... I've reached the point where it's time to start tying up loose ends and bring everything full circle :)

 

love ya darlin'!

(oh, and you can go ahead and keep that snotty rag... really dont want it back.  lmao)

 

xoxo

rach

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 20 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 43: Consequences

oh holy hell........................i feel downright dizzy.....the room is spinning....

Reptile by Thaigher Lillie Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 41]
Summary:

 

She spread herself wide open to let the insects in. 
She leaves a trail of honey to show me where she's been. 
She has the blood of reptile just underneath her skin. 
Seeds from a thousand others drip down from within. 

Devils speak of the ways in which she'll manifest. 
Angels bleed from the tainted touch of my caress. 
Need to contaminate to alleviate this loneliness.

Come what may, because  even creatures of the night have to live it large, but Karma has always found away around strokes of luck right?

Warnings- The usual: Things you wouldn't want you children to read.  Keep away if you're under the legal age to buy cigarettes. 

 

Short, multi-chapter, Prompt for Durty Nelly's  Gore Corner Vegas Prompt.

 


Categories: Original Fiction, Horror, Humor
Characters: None
Genre: Horror
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 3297 Read Count: 469
[Report This] Published: 19 Jul 2012 Updated: 24 Jul 2012
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 26 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 4: If i could, make a deal with god...

Durty Nelly says she loves reptile...I am like huh?

Tyggs wrote it go read it ! I couldn't get here fast enough....

GAWD YOU OWN MY FANGIRLING ASS WITH YOUR WORDS!

 

HIS TONGUE...FUCK ME RUNNING THAT SHIT IS OFF THE HOOK!

makes me want to draw a picture! lol

 

You Own Me by bee1982, too_cute_24 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1102]
Summary: Past Featured Story

yom

You Own Me banner made by the talented Ellen. 

The continuation of Bee1982's  one shot 'One Wild Night'

written with toocute24. 

At the roll of the dice, Edward wins what he has been dreaming of for the last two years. A night with his mob boss's son's girlfriend, sexy pole dancer Isabella Swan. What will happen in one night full of passion and lust?

What dangers will follow after their one wild night


Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: G8or Favor8s Read, Stories I've Already read, Brooklyn - to read, Dumbi's Most Wanted, Misstoria's Stories to Read, Stories I've read
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 22 Read Count: 240901
[Report This] Published: 30 Sep 2012 Updated: 25 Apr 2013
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08 Feb 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Intro

I know I should have reviewed long ago but there are some stories out there that you just cant help but hit the next button anxious to keep reading and you should have taken the time to review. This is one of them. I love the whole thing thus far and Bella and Edward are really in a jam! It is something different and exciting and Demetri scares the hell out of me. He is like a ticking time bomb. I just hope to god Edward can clip that wire before he goes off.

This story is great !! Love it!! I promise to try and review each chapter from now on. Thanks for writing it!

 

Andrea

aka

Robshandmonkey

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 22 Feb 2013 Title: You Own Me

i love this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edward has fallen  hard....so sexy....rawrrrrrrrrr....

Still Alec scares the shit out of me.....how are they ever going to make it out of this alive...? sigh....maybe Aro will shoot Alec himself....lmao...

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 05 Apr 2013 Title: You Own Me

stupid stupid stupid...

a. the new apartment could be bugged.

b. His office could be bugged.

c. That cabin could have been bugged.

d. They are playing russian roulette.

e. Do either of them ever watch the show cheaters? It always ends badly. Someone is caught cheating and occasionally someone gets a good ass kicking.

f. i love ths story....an appropriate death for Alec would be to feed him to the fish in lake michigan. just sayin!

School Of Mischief by mkystich Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 149]
Summary:

 

 

 

Having to maintain the family tradition, Bella starts her two year requirement at the prestigious CV Academy. To the outside world CVA seemed like a socialite high school where students ended up becoming governors, senators, CEOs, lawyers, and doctors, but the students knew there was more to the school then that.

 

::this is a drabble::


Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Angst, Drama, Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 17 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 9009 Read Count: 26822
[Report This] Published: 17 Jan 2013 Updated: 17 Jan 2014
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 Jan 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Grins....doing the happy dance right now....and I just realized that you can review from a phone...u just have too uncheck that usetiny box....tell your readers this in an authirs note.....love this story...love thou more.....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 17 Jan 2013 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

See...this is how you do it...good job baby...pics match the chapter subject...perfect...im such a proud hOOr right now....i'm grinning ear to ear...lol

Shhh... by Robshandmonkey Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 61]
Summary:

 

stories/38448/images/banner.jpg

 

Alyssa Jordan is about to enter a world she has only read about in books, but longs to experience. Her naive curiosity lands her in the wrong BDSM club, snaring the attention of the clubs owner.

Nicholas Anthony is a notorious bad boy and the owner of Taboo. 

One night, he spots a new face in the middle of his members only club. He is forced to confront her and find out how she managed to get in. He is blindsided by the attraction he has for the girl with a razor sharp tongue and defiant streak. 

His Dominant persona is about to be tested, and for once, he may be the one that ends up on his knees.

 


Categories: Original Fiction, Erotica, Romance, Supernatural
Characters: None
Genre: Erotica
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 16023 Read Count: 5605
[Report This] Published: 13 Feb 2016 Updated: 13 Feb 2016
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 13 Feb 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 How did I get here?

 

 

Did you really just ask that lol?

 

Yes it was but I am trying to rewrite it to publish and its no longer the same.

 

 

 

Danger In New York by cristina Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 536]
Summary: Past Featured Story

danger

 

A Corrupt district attorney and his daughter who pays the ultimate price for her father's betrayal. Two brothers at war and a family divided.

Twins Edward/Anthony. Mature content, mention of rape, abuse, drug use, prostitution, human trafficking, crime.

fs


Categories: Twilight, All Human
Characters: None
Genre: Drama
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 40 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 90965 Read Count: 82707
[Report This] Published: 30 Mar 2016 Updated: 28 Apr 2016
Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 24 Apr 2016 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31

smacks anthony upside his big fat head!

 

ugh!

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 25 Apr 2016 Title: Chapter 32: Chapter 32

What the hell is he thinking  is he really that stupid? She should just stand up and walk out and keep walking!! I don't like Edward....this is a first for me....I don't  know  how to handle this....Edward what the hell?your breaking my heart....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed
Date: 26 Apr 2016 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 33

So Aro set up Carlisle...but he is still guilty of a thousand other things...i am sure...hm..

Anthony...your anger has ruined your life...

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 21 Apr 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

awesome first chapter...you have me so hooked...there may be danger for you if I catch up to the last posted chapter...i have chains and i can chain you to a desk to write ya know? lol....

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 21 Apr 2016 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

I seriously think that this is how Edward should have just taken Bella in Twilight...had Jasper abduct her for him....! lol...

 

"I have her," he said, speaking into his phone.

 

I swear I shivvered all over when I read that!

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 29 Apr 2016 Title: Chapter 40: Chapter 40

what an awesome story!!! I am so glad I got to read this...it has been a long time and I miss fanfic! I loved your plot it was so different! You did a great job and I for one am proud of you! You rawked it!

 

 

Reviewer: Robshandmonkey Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 23 Apr 2016 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30

I am so not one to review...I am sure you can see that...I usually reserve my reviews for the end...

but you are driving me mad..crazy mad...

 

my head is spinning around faster than linda blairs on that bed of hers...

ARGH!