Membership status: Member
Bio:
Beautiful, terminally ill, Yolanda is abandoned by her partner to die in the woods near Forks, but is stumbled upon by Rosalie and Emmett while out hunting. The kind-hearted Cullen family take this former journalist under their protection & care; see how she learns what they are and that there really are vampires in this world. Her story plays out in a way she could never have imagined.
What would you do if you discovered vampires truly existed? What if you were offered immortality? What if a chance encounter brought you the love you had always dreamed of?
All your Cullen family favourites are very much involved in this story. An Irish vampire comes calling to add a new twist to Cullen life.
This is in essence a love story, mostly told from Yolanda's POV as a newcomer to the world of vampires. Sometimes the story is told from the perspective of one of the others as they watch her adapt to her surroundings.
Plenty of erotic moments contained in the story for the gorgeous Yolanda you see pictured in the banner.
Story rated for explicit lemony scenes and language and dark issues.
It has been migrated across from the FanFiction site and is now complete.
“Is she even alive, Emmett? I can’t hear a heartbeat from here.” Rosalie stood there, hands on hips, glaring at me as if it was my fault we had stumbled upon a body in the woods. She clicked her tongue impatiently.
We’d been out for a couple of hours hunting and making out gloriously and lustily in the bracken. When the day had started, bright and early, I’d never imagined it would take this turn of events. Vampires don’t like surprises.
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, Alternate Universe
Characters: Bella/Edward, Other Misc Char or Pairings
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's not read yet
Chapters: 80 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 240866 Read Count: 8480
Date: 17 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 1: PROLOGUE
Hey =)
(Just a short note: I have read your first five chapters by now, but I'd like to review each of them, so don't be confused, please ^^)
When I first read your Prologue and the next/first chapter with Emmett's POV I was confused... I registered that Yolanda is turning into a vampire right now. Ok, I got that. Then Emmett... He and Rosalie are running through the woods. It's a bit freaky because Emmett thinks about sex while a friend is turning. I'm not sure if Emmett really has fun (yeah, he obviously has *gg*) out there while Yolanda is in pain. However he is very physical so that's ok. But what really confused me was how you started Emmett's first chapter. Rose and Emmett are hunting and they find the human Yolanda. It's a similar sourounding (prologue: woods; first chapter: woods) so at first I wasn't sure if both texts belong to the same timeline.
Back to the prologue *grin* It's hard to review a short text, but what caught my eye was your way of writing. I need the first 3 or 4 chapters to be sure if I really want to read a fanfiction, and I am really demanding. I don't like many stories and lots of them have a terrible spelling style. I wonder if those people only write because they want to see some story of theirs on the net... Your prologue was different... And what I wanted to say is this: When someone writes as wonderful as you did, the story will surely be wonderful as well...
Author's Response:
thank you so much for your in depth review of this story. I really appreciate the time you have taken. hope you go on to enjoy the rest of the chapters.
it has been a tough one to write because characterYolanda is based on a real life friend, in treatment for Stage 4 cancer. It has been wholly written for her benefit and to give her wings at such a difficult time, but many of my readers have become lovely friends now - so I have benefited from the experience.
I understand what you mean about the prologue details - this was necessitated by the other site as I was warned to put the Cullens on the first page of writing for it to "qualify" as a Twilight canon story.
I shall pop in an extra line to differentiate the timeline - thanks for pointing it out.
Date: 17 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 2: NO CONTROL
That was indeed hard stuff and very shattering... There's no sign of the vampires though it's very stirring to know who this woman really is.
What impresses me most is Yolanda's medical background. Her outlook on the world, her malady and Thing seem to be very well considered. People with experiences like hers are/think surely likewise. 'What if I can become a vampire? All of my pangs will be gone. My illness will be gone and I can live a happy and neverending life.' (That's it what makes a good story: some well-considered ideas) She is caught in her own body but she still understands everything around her.
'Thing', even when he is only a minor character, gives Yolanda and her history very much personality. His behavior shows her that he probably doesn't love her anymore. Everything is too much for him and his only way out is to get rid of her, she is like an unwanted pet to him. The choice to drive her all the way to Washington State shows how he thought about his own problem solving. He is absolutely overstrained with caring for her. It's sad that this is his only idea to help himself...
Date: 18 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 4: SCARY MONSTERS
Ohoh... You chose Emmett as another narrator... He's one of my favorite characters, what means I'm critical when I read stories with or/and of him...
Rosalie made me laugh more than once. I see her in the woods, very beautiful, her bright hair in the wind and with her hands on her hips. And how she makes Emmett checking on Yolanda if she is still alive or something. Oooh.. "Big fella" ...
Emmett calls his Rose Rose, I like that! When I think about them as a couple or when I think about their family Rosalie is always called as "Rose". It's just a small clue though it shows how they feel about each other. A story needs lots of small details to be good! And this is one of those details. *thumbs up*
The fact that Edward can read minds is hard sometimes and working with such a tough content (Twilight-vampires can hear, smell, see... more...) is sometimes difficult. You gave us a hint that you can handle it when Emmett and Rosalie had a closer look on Yolanda and her surroundings. And of course Edward! He heard about their arrival and therefore they awaited them.
On the whole I loved this chapter. It's how I picture Emmett and Rosalie. I hope for a lot of further chapters with his POV. *biggrin*
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to do such a detailed review Sara. I did try and respond the other day but my computer crashed. duh...
hope you continue to enjoy the story and are having a nice Easter.
Date: 18 Mar 2010 Title: Chapter 1: PROLOGUE
Ah, good to know. You're right, no Cullens no Twilight.
Humm... That doesn't surprise me that Yolanda is based on a real life friend of yours. I now have read the first 10 chapters (including the prologue) and what I noticed was that either you have medical knowledge or you know someone with experiences. I don't want to say I'm thankful that you know someone (I am not!), but that (your deliberations) gives your story even more depth. I wish your friend good luck and you a lot of endurance!
Author's Response:
Thanks again Sara. Yes, between us, Yo and I have significant experience of medical treatments!
Thanks esp for the good wishes which I have passed on.