I really like your story!!!   I don't get to read as often as I like so I usually end up reading several chapters at once.  I am really enjoying your new character Malcolm.  Surprisingly enough I am doing pretty good understanding his written accent.  Probly because of all of my years of devotion to brit-coms and British television in general.   I found years ago about.  I had a feeling he might be Alices mate.   Now I am wondering what is really going on in Edwards head.  Im thinking that maybe he was the boss, though it could have been Victoria, Cant wait to find out.  Maybe this time I will get to read it when you post it, though it is fun to read 3-5 chapters at a time.  ;)   Thanks for the story!

I just found your story and I'm loving it !!!!

I know your story is finished but I would like to point out that second graders are seven years old.  Six-year-olds are general it first-graders ---- unless you are writing in the story that she is advanced and has already skipped a grade which would work to. ;). Fix it if you like - or keep it the same - it's your story. I'm still going to finish the like it ;)

I really love your story!!!   I am a music teacher myself (lol)  but I do have an odd love for watching and reading all things "detective" and or "mystery" related"  So I have one thought that I can share with you.  Yes Bella is a victim BUT she is also a witness to the crime.  If they want this to stick, and they will because this crime has implications and ramifications that spread to other incidences as well, they will need her testimony to do it.   They can also keep her in the program after she testifies if it is deemed that she is still in danger.  With Carlisle being the jerk he is in this story line that would definitely be true.   I actually figured that is where you were going with it when you put it in the story (witness protection program)  So far everything you have done from that aspect seems very plausible.  They should also have ways to help her identify and contact the lawyer that has her money and find a way to make it hers once she is 18, which should be soon right?  

Once again my knowledge is based on years of reading detective novels and watching every Matlock, CSI, Numbers, The Mentalist, Monk, Murder She Wrote, In the Heat of the Night, & Law and Order episode aired on tv through prime time and reruns.  (LOL)   If there is anything I can do to help you by putting that knowledge to work let me know.   (Who knew watching hours of TV as a kid could be so useful -  :)

I like your story the way it is.  I thought at first it was weird that they were not gonna be together --- then I was worried you would try to make that happen anyway.  At this point in the story I SO do NOT want to see them together.

Your Story --- Your Plot --- Write what you like --- People will read it or not --- always be you and never apologize for it!!!!!!

;)

LOVE this story!!!!

The suspence is killing me though! (in a good way:))

I cant wait to see what happens when these two figure out who each other are.  I suspect you are gonna do a BPOV next which means at least one more chapter til the big reveal.   

BUT dont let my whining stop what you are doing.  I do like the way you are folding this out.  It is sweet torture.

AND btw - that picture of whitlock --- YUM!!!  I am a jasper/jackson fan all the way lol

Keep it up - cant wait to read more!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have only recently just found your story.  I have spent the past week reading and catching up with it.  I really do like this story line - very different - very interesting. The stories I tend to like best are the ones that can take be by suprise once and a while and move in unexpected ways.  yours does that

I am worried that it may be starting to get to complicated though - you have so many characters taking main stage that it could get hard to keep up (not yet though :)     I am also missing some of the main characters.  We don't hardly ever hear about Emmet and Rose - and the only time we hear about what's going on with Esme is when she is pulling a prank.  I know you are having her regress and relive some of what was stolen from her but I would like to see her grow up a little - while still keeping her since of humor.    But then again you now have so many characters to keep up with I can see how it is hard to develop them all.  Thats my worry about it getting to complicated - too many plot twists and we the readers are caught in a twister and stay confused - kinda like one too many spices in a good dish - (I did that a lot when I was first learning to cook - not good!)

Well that is my constructive comments for the first 24 chapters.  I really do love the story and can't wait to see what happens next.   This has kinda been my obsession (to read this) for the past few days ---- good news I will now have time to do what I have been neglecting - bad news I have to wait - sigh - LOL - guess I'll have to practice patients.  I must thank you for the Super Long Chapters - it makes it worth the wait!!!  Thanks

TTFN

Love this story!!!  I especially like the blue roses in the story.  For my mom and dad it was always yellow roses.  They were special to them.  Since my dad has died if we want to get special roses for her it is yellow because that color has special meaning for us.

PS:  In your last paragraph Edward asks Rose and Alice to bring "my girls back to the suit"  Did you mean her gifts?  

I am so glad you picked up this story again.   This is one of my favorites!!!

TTFN

OMG

Thank you for NOT ending it at a cliff hanger.  I have been dying over here because the past few chapters have felt like cliff hangers bc they hadn't found Bella yet.  Very suspenseful!   --- any more suspense and I think I would have spontaneously combusted!!!!

I LOVE how you ended Renee!!!  Like Charlie and Jake had had enough and just fixed her little red caboose.   I would love to see Alice have a vision of her being tortured for eternity --- but I think that might make the story a little too "twiligh zone" weird.  --- So I will just close my eyes and imagine it myself . . . . . . . . Nice!!!

Keep up the good writing!  Cant wait to see what happens next!   ---- Oh and will we Ever find out what Jasper really does?  Has to be CIA or FBI deep under cover spy or something.  

Oh well

TTFN!

Loved this story!!! Can't wait for the sequel.  

I don't have children who are autistic but I am a teacher who as taught a few who are.   So far - if she is - you are getting a lot of things right.   To be honest all children are a little different in how they deal with things.   Some with autism are sensitive to touch while other are sensitive to sound.  I had one child who was fixated on watches.  At age 4 he had to have one on and was always checking it (at 1-2 min intervals)

Marie also reminded me of another character in a book series I love from Madeline L'engle.  A wind in the door - A swiftly tilting planet - etc - there is a character named John Wallace who is the 4 year old little brother of the main character.  He also didn't speak until he was 4  and even then it was only to family - but when he did it was in complete sentences and he was an uber genius - reading their parents scientific journals accurately at age 4.

Sometimes children don't speak until 3 or 4 and it is not because there is something wrong.  Sometimes they are just observers - they watch everything around them - take it in - learn - and then - like in the story I read - they just start speaking.  When I taught 2 year olds I had several like that in the 6 years teaching that age.  One didnt speak until he was three because he was ESOL (spoke spanish and not english at home)  One child had super large cheeks that actually got in the way of proper speech.    A third child spoke very little and didnt come out of her shell until she was 3 1/2 and had been working with a speech therapist.  And then there was the child who actually was autistic.   So many of these things are not completely diagnosable until the child is older because there are so many different factors that come into play ------ OH and ---- developmentally speaking.  Some children who are premature have a learning delay when they are younger but as they mature and grow that gap begins to close.  By the time they are 4 or 5 they should be mostly caught up.  Most of these delays though are those developmental milestones that are associated with infants and toddlers.  --- EX:  the age they roll over, stand, walk, --- the age the master gross motor and fine motor skills. (gross motor: using your hand to pick up things - fine motor: using your fingers to pick up things etc)     

OK  Sorry this was so long.  As I wrote I just kept remembering things that might be helpful.  I am a music teacher now but I began with the little ones and all that early developmental knoweldge is still in there LOL.   hope it helps!   

Zamar22 

I have just found your story and I really like it!!!   Very interesting and very different.   I Just spent the past 2 days catching up.  It made me spoiled now I have to Wait to See what happens next.   It just means you have a good story :)  Can't wait for the next update!   TTFN

Love this story - I think you should use it as a jump off point to begin a longer story with these two.  Might be interesting!!! 

TTFN!

Zamar

I love me some Jasper --- I think he needs to be redeemed so that Alice can have her HEA --- Dont get me wrong - it needs to be hard for him but I pick Jasper 

What can I say I love the underdog - I have always truely been a team Jasper Girl  Gotta love a "good ole boy"  he he he (even though you don't write him that way here ;))

TTFN

Love the story!!!   I would like to know what happens when she does meet up with Edward and Alice - hint - hint - another chapter maybe - - - wink - wink --- nudge - nudge 😉a86;a039;😁

Though you've given them different names chapter 17 and 18 have the exact same text in their chapters.    

 I just found the story and I am liking it 😊

Loved it!!!!

now I hope she can reunite with Charlie somehow.  I just know that the man that took her lied to Charlie and Renée and took her from them.  At least I'm hoping that's the case. And that Charlie's  been looking for her all this time.  Time shall tell

I'm loving this - - I really hope Charlie gets what's coming to him. I don't know if I hope that he's been lied to and believe the wrong people.  Or if I think he really does know everything that is going on and has just discarded his his daughter like trash.  Either way it's inexcusable ---- I also can't wait to see what Phil does to the other boys. Because I know he's got something up his sleeve. And I can't wait to see them rot in jail or better yet that they would have to face James for real Sunday can't come soon enough LOL

Like it :-).   Please continue!!!!!    

I think they share wrongness Kinda

Bella is scared because if what Edward says is true that it means that she was foolish cannot see what was going on right in front of her with Paul (not true but that's what she thinks) 

Edward wants to slay all of Bellas demons for her so that she can be free.  But often we need to slay our own dragons to be free. If someone destroys your dragons for you they come back. Only when you face your own fears do you really get free from what is been holding you back. 

I'm glad Edward was honest with her now though I am glad he is doing this Bella just needs an opportunity to face Paul herself and stand up for herself and Edward and Bella just need to talk it out. ------- LOL and I need to stop talking about this people like their real. ;)

I am enjoying the story can't wait to see what you do next

Woot

I know you this is supposed to be a one shot - but It would be awesome to read more on this - I love it!!!

 My guess is that James got  A weeks worth of lemony goodness and is either posting it  online already --- or threatening to expose Bella and her unconventional relationship together  by sending it to her boss maybe even trying to get her fired make her lose everything like he did 

  Loving this  story!    That last comment that Edward made makes me wonder if he doesn't have an inkling that Bella might be his Jill ...

Ttfn 

Love this story!

I have been to key west a couple times via cruise ship  here is what I remember:

 Key west:   Jump on the "conch train and it will take you around the island you can pay one price and get on and off at will. ($10) There is the southern most point of the us (picture spot). Heminways House.  Old presidential residence.  Lighthouse.  Pirate Museum.  Fort (don't remember the name).  

Swim - beach combing - jet ski rentals - snorkeling adventures (catamaran with about 60 people everything included - tourist shops with shirts and  shells

To eat: key lime pie factory - conch fritters - sea food - keylime pie - chocolate covered key lime pie on a stick - margarita - bars that were known to have been frequented by Hemingway - 

hope that helps 😊

😊😊😊

Loving this story!   FYI  I think you may have skipped the next chapter. I'm very curious to know what is wrong with The stewards mother… Since Edward asked the question but there is no response in the  next readable chapter    Can't wait to see what happens next!

I like it! I want to hear more about Bella and Garrett. Keep writing please it would be amazing.

Love the out take.  Gives more closure 😊