Loved the ballroom scene with Jessica--Poor things had no idea what they'd gotten themselves into, LOL. Amrita has been emailing 'homework' to charlotte? All they need is a website and they'd make millions! Great chapter.

I've been reading this over the last few days from start to ch 36, and I am impressed right down to my socks. Are you certain this is your first fan fiction? Your characterizations are fully realized, the situations are believable, and your interactions are perfect. You even properly use 'writhing' and not 'withering' as I see all too often in first fics (ch 9). I'm really looking forward to seeing where you go with this. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.

Poor Charlotte. With her gift it must be hard to see a mating bond fade away. I loved Sushmita making her husband tell the truth about the BJ's, that was great. As for Esme, I am ambivalent--she really is a grat Mom, but she has never been able to let her children grow up, possibly due to the death of her infant son. She's never had to deal with empty nest syndrome before. She may be SuperMom, but she needs to decide if she still wants to be a wife. Excellent chapter!

Ok, Chelsea has no verbal or action filter, but at least she likes to make people happy! You almost owed me a new keyboard--I laughed so hard, coffee sprayed over my desk!  Luckily I missed the electronics, LOL. Great chapter, the image of Castle Volterra turning into a sort of Vamp Club Med was great!

Claude would make the perfect Quartermaster--the guy knows how to find/get anything! Every army needs supplies, right? At least they have a timeline, now.

how is Maria controlling the newborns without Jasper? The numbers should be fluctuating wildly; in fact with a vampiric army of that size she should have exceeded the point of diminishing returns about 250 vamps ago--too many to feed inconspicuously, too much internal killing and too difficult to replace the dead ones. Not to mention logistical problems of housing, training quarters and miscellaneous supply as well as transport. She's nuts; they should have turned on her months ago.

I do like the idea of Carlisle having to attend high school himself for once--let him know the hell he put the others through for all those years, lol! So, what will happen now that there is no more Volturi enforcers? Maybe they can just keep adopting new vamps into their family and let the movement expand naturally? There can't be more than a quarter to a half million vamps in the world at most, right? the feeding wouldn't work for more than that, really. It would deplete the overall population too much. This chapter was sweet and quirky, just loved it.

Loved the mixer, man how embarrassing to get caught pretending to be a vamp when you are one, lol.  So it's a whole underground society in sunny california; that would make any conspiracy theorist sit up and take notice. Can we get a scene of Emmett and Bella at a Trekkie convention? That would be great!

That was a nice twist to the ending. I really liked the idea of Charlie and Joe sending an immortal skunk every time Jasper and Emmett go hunting, LOL! It was so sweet to have Rex's mom be charlie's soulmate--I'm a sucker for a happy ending, sigh.

I didn't know you were in the path of Irene--you could get revenge by naming a character after it and having Jasper destroy her! Be safe.

I like the training logistics; perhaps they need to set up a few war games to get various groups used to tactics and maneuvers while coordinating operations? A few speciality groups, perhaps similar to SEAL teams might be a good idea, as well as a few assassination squads would be useful as well. Research into urban assualt methods and guerrilla tactics as a means of weakening the enemy forces is also a possibility. the Voodoo idea just might work, given the strength od riley's gift.  As for Alice, she is even more of a loose cannon than before and that could be a very, very bad thing. Excellent chapter!

I just love a happy Marcus! Nice touch making him a doctor; the genital itch thing was hilarious! He and Esme have so much to teach one another, sigh.  Are the vamps just going to buy out all the humans and make Hillsboro an all-vamp town? Kind of like Hogsmeade in HP? That would be neat. I can't wait to see what happens in Vegas.

As for Embry, I have this strange urge to sing a few choruses of Bowie's "Diamond Dogs", LOL! Your use of the genetic anomaly for the unscented wolves was pretty slick as well. The anomaly also explains why they were able to imprint in the first place instead of attacking.

C.C. broke his own rules, there, now didn't he? How is he going to cover the red eyes from his snobby little group of elitist psychos? Billy as vamp is going to change a lot of relationships around the area, but it willbe good to see him out of the chair. Will he be able to phase? I'm glad Charlie won't lose his best friend. Riley in walmart made me think of that bar scene in the Star Wars 2nd trilogy where Obiwan makes the drug dealer go home and rethink his life, LOL. More, please, when you're able; I hope you and your family are ok after everything you're going through.

I'd have fried the bratty pervert, too. Yes, it was a mistake to kill Edward before finishing his interrogation, but sometimes you gotta do what you've gotta do.

It's been a while since I've had the chance to do any real reading, and I always come back to check your stories. I can only assume that you and your family have been hit by the insane weather on the east coast over the last few months; it's a lot more immediate than writing stories, that's for damn sure. I sincerely hope that you and your family are all right and we will be waiting until you get back. Take care.

Wow, that was a lot of action and a fair amount of set-up as well, I'm impressed. One super-prank, two full-bodied ego kills and enough espionage to confuse Jason Bourne,  a 370-year-old pervert with an adolescent enabler, hijinks with high finance and Aro is getting in touch with his inner spirituality? My head's spinning. Can't wait to see what you do next; I love it!

Hooray! I am going to absolutely love this! Not that I don't already, that is. Once the Cullens are sitting bewildered in the smoking rubble of their delusions, can we go prank the Volturi? Please? Maybe the Romanians? They could use a good laugh. Muwahahaha.

I'm always so happy when you update, no matter which story it is. You have the uncanny ability to have me rolling with laughter and a few paragraphs later I'm seething with indignation. Nice to have such a talent. Do you write professionally? You should. The Nun scene had me rolling--as a recovering Catholic, let me say it was perfect! I also love how Brewmaster is so polite to Bella, even reassuring her she wasn't insane, just too cute. I also can't believe how much I hate Carlisle and he hasn't even made a personal appearance yet. Let me guess, he was just using Rose as bait for the richest, most advantageous match? Actually it fits with a 1600's male attitude--women were assets, not partners back then. More please!

So Carlisle is attempting an economic takeover of the vampiric world? How could that even work when the Volturi would just dust him and most vamps can go decades without possessions, let alone assets of note? Loved the arrest scene--Bella's going to get one hell of a scolding from Daddy, I think. And if Jasper keeps projecting, Hillbrook is going to become one of those paranormal places for lovers who want kids. Or just a place to go for some serious smexin' LOL!

Gods, I hope the mating venom is different than the hunting venom, for Embry's sake! And you gave him one of the sweetest "first-time' scenes I've ever read. Edwierdo has earned his title, we know more about the plot, and I thank you! As for your question: '67 Caddy convertible, big block V8 and (ironically) Paradise by the dashboard lights.

As much as I like the idea of a blond Peter Facinelli-lookalike tearing my clothes off, This particular version of Carlisle makes me want to scrub my brain with steelwool and carbolic acid. Sorry Vic got hurt, but glad she got the chance to dribble Charlotte's head like Jordan on the court. The real question is when the Cullens are going to make another attempt to 'acquire' Bella and Rose--you know they aren't going to let it go no matter what Pete threatens them with.They just aren't that bright. The church scene was funny, nice callback!

Loved the dressing room thing, LOL! Whoa, Charlie is six different kinds of awesome! I want to see investigator Charlie rip Carlisle into tiny bits for messing with his kids! I can't wait to see what you come up with for a 'real' backstory on Carlisle--perhaps a deviant courtier at the Court of King Charles I? Grand Inquisitor for the French Church? Flagellant apostate priest? Farm boy arrested for raping medieval livestock? An alchemist executed for blasphemy? Bandit? Graverobber? There are so many ways you could go with it, sigh.

First just let me say: EEEWWWWWWW! I do not recall slumber parties being anything like that. I need brain bleach. Kudos to you for keeping it so in character, and so morbidly funny. Chelsea has her work cut out for her as a double agent, that's for certain, but at least they now have a way to feed false info to the other side. The knitting thing is one hell of a running gag, though, LOL. The Cullens were kidnapping Quileute women in the 1930's? Damn, where's my lighter?...

Maria rocks! I see Bella's charm is still holding true, but Fernando's attraction to the Queens could get to be a problem, lol. I have a peeve, though: you put hot male vampires in latex and didn't give us a picture?!?!? Shame on you, Mama. or the naked cliff diving, either. Now I'm gonna pout until the next chapter comes out. (huff)

Da-dat-da-da-da-dit-da; Tequila! ROFLMAO! You can't let those guys out of your sight for a minute, can you? Charlie tore the hand off a viking? Ok, I'm impressed. You do realize that you're going to have to top everything for the victory party, right? I feel very bad for the Moon Wolves, and I imagine that Caius is going to have to do a lot of apologizing. Can't wait to see that. So, now their numbers match or exceed current enemies and they have a large, well-defended base of operations. Is the battle going to be in Egypt or at La Push? Can Chelsea turn Ben's allegiance or will she end up as a deep cover spy? Will she work with Rebecca to attract and interrogate captives?  What about the two cell phones they found in Montana, can they reverse-engineer the call records from those? Eagerly awaiting your next chapter, here. Gives me something to do other than shovel snow.

Sounds like the opposition is fragmenting from within to a point, and Edward hasn't got the charisma or brains to pull off a coup. If they can let the rank and file members of the Romanian and Egyptian army know that they will be killed for feeding on humans, they may be able to increase the fragmentation or provoke a mutiny or three. I really doubt that part of the dystopian plan has been revealed to their underlings. Surround the castle, lob in a few hundred incediaries and use the weres to catch any stragglers. They temple of Amun could be the unfortunate site of a random jihadi riot--that would make a good cover story!

I loved the volvo desecration--just too funny!

It's entirely possible that Alice is hoping to kill two birds with one stone--that both groups will fight to the death and she can take out the winner in the end when they are weakened. She may blame both the La Push faction as well as Carlisle for Charlotte's death: one for the actual killing and the other for giving the order that lead to her death. Or she may simply have snapped and is going from lie to lie without a plan since her gift is failing her. Looking forward to the next chapter!

I had read this story on FF.net, and yes, while there are some editorial issues, i liked it very much. I am happy that you are finishing your stories--ALWAYS WRITE FOR YOURSELF FIRST! Unless someone has a legitimate complaint and contstructive critiscism, ignore them. If you love doing this, don't stop. Never mind what someone else says; there are a lot of stories out there with far more serious issues than yours, and they are still being written. By the way, are you going to finish the one where Bella was a spy? I loved that one!

Given her history, it makes complete sense for her to try to find a quiet place to process all of the events of the evening. I'm just glad she had the sense to text her friends before they got worried. So, when do we get Emmett and Carlisle's POV on their new mates? And when do they plan on telling/changing them? inquiring minds want to know!

Loved the standoff, I was grinning the whole time I was reading it. Jessica really is good for Emmett, she's not quite as vain as Rose and has a better sense of humor. Angela and Carlisle should find lots to talk about, don't you think? Besides, with all that anatomical training between them, they will probably burn a hole in the floor!

Hee-hee! Emmett at McDonald's? Sheer genius! I can almost hear it now: "Do you want fries or A-negative with that?" LOL. I like the way Carlisle cusses now, it suits him better than his uptight, perfect persona, since the 1600's were a lot more earthy than the victorian era he's been emulating. The face-slapping round-robin was hilarious as well, Mama, brilliant. So what did Bella do at the steakhouse; cause a chain reaction incident and set the place on fire or just faint at a rare tenderloin?

LOl! Pete should have read that name tag before wearing that lab coat. Edward and Alice need to take a road trip through a forest fire. The BDSM novel thing was funny, what a misunderstanding!

Well, thank goodness for OCD, or Jasper wouldn't have gotten there in time! If Edward hadn't waited for the laundry to be done, Bella would have been badly hurt. Just a question: if you rip off a vmapire's limbs, do HAVE to be reattached in the same places, or can you swap them around? I think Eddie would look great with his feet where his ears used to be. Use your creativity, I'm sure you can come up with something suitably grotesque, lol. Thanks for the update!

So Pete and Emmett get forced abstinence and jasper gets a little payback? LOL! I guess Carlisle is going to be a little traumatized by nearly being raped by a newborn, or is Angela going to explain nicely that he's hers and Lauren has to keep her hands off? This just gets funnier every time you post.

Very creepy. you've got the makings of an ironic classic here--if you expanded on it and took the old horror movie cliche`s and twisted them as the girls get their revenge for being forcibly mated, it could be very funny! But this one is all about the horror and you did it very well.

This Carlisle is one that I could actually see being a coven leader, not that  version that SM created. I always wondered how a warrior like Jasper could bear to submit to the decisions of  someone who refused to even consider the realities of vampiric life. This one is actually a lot more logical for a predatory species--waaaaay hotter, as well. Thanks.

I loved it! I've always thought Jasper and Bella were a better match than she and Edward ever could be. It might be worth turning this into a mult-chapter, if you're so inclined? If you do, I would definetely read it.