Membership status: Member
Bio:
"The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys" unless you're Toyward...and you decide to share your toy box. When Jasper wanders into Edward's adult toy store...his life will never be the same. TrueEnglishRose/texasbella E/J
Also up for Best Humor in the Non-Canon Awards
Categories: Twilight, Non-Canon Pairings
Characters: Edward/Jasper (slash)
Genre: Erotica, Humor, Romance, Slash
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 26 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 46510 Read Count: 32440
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
I kept saying I would do this -- so . . .
*faints* Jesus Fuck! I think, no, I KNOW, I whimpered.
Can I, pretty please with chocolate covered Jasper on top (wait wrong fic) has that scene? *bats eyes and blows kiss in a non Maggie way*
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4
OMFG Jasper singing Candyman? *DED* and Edward singing Let's Talk About Sex? PUURRRRFECT!
You know how much I love the line about ditching the girl! DO IT JASPER then you and Edward can "talk" about sex!
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
NOW- Jasper needs to carry his ass on home, toss Mrs Snuffleupagus out on her obnoxious, red-headed, ass- let her keep the ring, if he has to, and buy her a nice toy for a parting gift.
Then he can trot himself right on back to the store, flip the closed sign, and E can show all about how all the toys work...personally.
J/S
and I may have whimpered, too.
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Good Lord Maggie makes me ill!
And Edward's comment bout the ugly tree- -effing priceless
Bedazzler? *cringes*
Ohhh Phone sex with E/J sign me up for the party line!
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9
MWAH! Thank you both for sharing this with me for my birthday!
THATS RIGHT MAGGOT, move on with Eric, so my boys can lock the door and get BIZZAY!
That's definitely a great way to get rid of her.
And we have for you today, Maggot, this ruined, deflated dildo pillow for your parting gift. BUH BYE!
Leave the engagement ring at the front door with your key when you move your Pepto Bismol colored shit out of Jasper's life!
AND YAY! Sexy Can I! Im pretty sure I shared that one with you!
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14
You teasing hussies! OMG! I may have sex again before Jasper and Edward finally do, and since I spend all my time holed up in my house writing, that's a big stretch.
*at the word stretch, mind flits to J's pre date prep and eyes become glossy*
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15
*crawls whimpering into the corner in the fetal position, where kids find her after school*
6 y/o: *whispers* What's wrong with mommy?
8 y/o: *whispers back* Dunno. I bet its got something to do with a story.
6 y/o: *whispers* one of hers?
8 y/o: *whispers back* no hers make her throw things, I bet its that R and T ladies she's always yelling about.
6 y/o: *whispers* well, whatta we do?
12 y/o: I got this y'all go to your rooms. Mom? Mom? Adam Lambert and Jackson kissed at a concert in California. I bet you can find pics on the internet. *snickers and runs outside*
*scrambles to laptop, then curses 12 y/o and threatens military school*
Thank fuck Corbin Fisher had a video sale, I might have enough porn to get me through the weekend til Monday!
Date: 02 Oct 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16
"left me flopping like a fish out of water" Oh Edward, you liar. Nothing on you has been flopping since that boy first walked in too your toy shop!
And yes, Jasper, you DO owe Emmett, but that's the least of your concerns right now. You have your man,hot, hard, commando and leaking- DEAL WITH THAT!
We'd like pictures and video please. We promise not to youtube them.
*happy claps* YAY! Matching tattoos!
OHHH and an outtake! I have never ever been so happy to have overextended myself and promised a donation to that compilation!
PLEASE PLEASE smexing next week? *begs on knees with huge puppy dog eyes, while surreptitiously licking lips at the thought of hot Toysper sexin*
"Sticks and stones may break our bones... but Bella will surely kill us."
What happens when an overprotective father sends his innocent baby girl to a private self-defense course run by a gay man? Oh if he only knew what he was paying for! Edward and Jasper aren't the only ones who have something to teach, seems Bella does as well... the art of patience.
Poly/slash included.
Extended past the June Drabble War entry.
Picks up right after Bella shoots Mike. :)
Beta'd by the amazing texasbella and the beautiful banner made by the ever so talented JA Mash
Categories: Twilight, Non-Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward/Jasper
Genre: Adventure, Erotica, Family, Humor, Romance, Slash
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Love to drive's Stories to read, Love to drive's Stories to read set 2, My Favorite Stories
Chapters: 126 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 25886 Read Count: 407788
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Ahh Charlie! you are a gem!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Oh darlin, we all need our daddies-- just maybe not one with a gun permit and the authority to use it at will.
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Yeah a police cruiser can put a serious damper on smexin so no surprise there! You'd think Angela would have been the Forks' bicycle, since the boys consider those preacher daughters a challenge!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
DYING! Love how Charlie manipulated her!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6
TWO WEEKS?!?!?! I'd kill him!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
K -- Now I'd be really pissed -- no private time -- Yeahh, good thing I know who's waiting for her at the self defense program -- SHe can at least watch, right?
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
PMSL *cleans up spewed pepsi* OMG the visuals!! We need a video for that!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9
FUCK so do I now! Damn it True!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10
LOL good idea! Go for the offensive instead of defensive position, Bella!!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11
I so love a cheeky Emmett-- or is that Emmett's cheeks? either way its all good!
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12
Hey-- saves on the bills in winter-- less exposure to the elements. (yeah that sounds plausible)
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13
SNORT Helper dude? too fuunny!
And yes, the gay sex is hot Bella - hence why I write lots of it and own a few Corbin fisher videos. Yeah, a few . . . dozen.
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14
Im thinking Emmett decided to show her to a room so he could ensure she found one -- since she's acting like a mute twit.
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15
I. WANT. THAT. BATHROOM!!!
The boys are ready to start their future together, drama free and full of toys. Having said their ‘I do’s’ they are headed to Greece for their 3 week long honeymoon. What antics can they manage to get up to in a foreign country?
Categories: Non-Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Edward/Jasper (slash)
Genre: Erotica, Friendship, Humor, Romance, Slash
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: Romantic Comedy
Series: Can't wait for an update
Chapters: 18 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 28328 Read Count: 34749
Date: 03 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
*smh* SIGH I have this horrid fear of TSA tossing them from the plane -- boys boys boys - be sensible!
Author's Response:
LMAO...not in fanfiction!!!
xoxo
tb and True
Date: 03 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2
I . . . uhmmmm . . . well . . . FUCKING HELL!! *cries* Why cant I be Kate?
Author's Response:
Don't cry babe, in your mind you can be Kate and you can have all the fun you like with our boys hehe xxx