Date: 09 Jan 2016 4:14 PM Title: Chapter 2
I a new reader of your stories. I love SoCal so much so I decided to read your other stories while waiting for a new chapter. I'm enjoying this story imensely.
Uh oh! Jasper is in love at first sight with Alice! And Edward can't stop thinking about Bella! The torment these two teachers are going to have over their "students"!
Date: 07 Jun 2014 2:17 PM Title: Chapter 11
cool chapter i love his mum ;) i was wondering about him not telling people not to call him eddie ;) im shocked at the lack of proper police work going on ! how come she didnt have official back up like i mentioned in the last review and why has nobody been folling james when he is a lead? he went missing for 2 days and ends up with drugs to sell albeit not on school grounds ;)and apparently they are still going to keep undercover so i hope they get their acts together ;D
Date: 07 Jun 2014 1:01 PM Title: Chapter 10
ok she should of had back up from emmett which obviously she did in the end ;) so next i think they should haul him down to the station and impound his car for evidence on monday they should go to the school and have an assembly and ask all the girls to write a statement against james for assalt :D
Date: 11 Jul 2012 10:15 PM Title: Chapter 34
***Pls don't ever let what some reviewer says stop u from writing! U r good & the story was full of intrigue, romance, lust, angst, mystery & suspense! Everything a good story has!!!***
Awe, thank you, hun!! That review was pretty rough and I hadn't built up a thick skin yet. I trudged on, doing what I love and hopefully entertained people in the process. As my first fanfic and entry into this amazing fandom, I am pretty proud of EBD. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and giving me some kind words :))
Date: 23 Dec 2010 7:00 PM Title: Chapter 3
OMG- How funny was all that?!?! Three chapters into the story and so far i loved evry bit of it!!!! The storyline sounds really good and interesting! Edward´s inner ramblings were soo funny- though he was right for being a jerk towards Jasper...!^^ Can´t wait for everyone to get more involved ;D
Date: 01 Sep 2010 12:25 AM Title: Chapter 34
Wow, i'm sorry to see this end. I enjoyed this story so much. Your characters are very special, and i am going to miss them. This may have been your first fan fiction story, but it is surely one of the best written of the many I've read.
Author's Response: Awe thank you so much, bb! I appreciate you taking the time out to read my story. EBD is very special to me, because I kind of went crazy with it, and wrote it from the heart. It's funny how a story transform into something unexpected and I never planned on it going the way it did. CBLW is more outlined and I know where that is going. Your reviews were awesome and made me smile all day!! Thank you! Much love, ~Korry~
Date: 31 Aug 2010 11:53 PM Title: Chapter 31
Ah, it was so Edward like to rush in and take the bullet. And aro is dead. i didn't really enjoy Bella punching Tanya, but i don't enjoy men punching other men either. It always strikes me as so undignified. Not that I haven't ever wanted to punch a person or two in my life, that's for sure. I figure poor bella is in for a lot of trouble. But at least edward is recovering; they are together and alive. and Charlie likes Edward!
Date: 31 Aug 2010 10:11 PM Title: Chapter 24
acutally, if bella is mad and feeling betrayed that edward didn't tell her who Tanya is, then she's nuts. It's just as you said, he didn't know that would be important to bella. There's a lot of tough stuff in the dynamic right now, but Edward not happening to mention who Tanya is previously shouldn't matter to Bella. I was expecting tanya to cause trouble, but was surprised at her connection. That was great.
Date: 31 Aug 2010 10:04 PM Title: Chapter 23
OOO, i was right. I thought it would be aro. For a minute I thought perhaps it would be carlisle, thereby bringing Edward and Carlisle together. but then I thought, no, it's got to be aro. That would be such a fun twist!
Date: 31 Aug 2010 8:59 PM Title: Chapter 19
Whew! I was afraid at the beginning of this chapter, that you were going to draw it out for a few. of course, we're only about half way through, so i'm positive the danger isn't over yet. after all, we still have aro to deal with. I loved how bella got the upper hand with James and loved alice and Emmett coming to the rescue too.
Author's Response: Oh man, you'll learn that I hate dragging shit out. LoL Bella should've killed James, instad of just choking him out ;) ~Korry~
Date: 31 Aug 2010 7:52 PM Title: Chapter 14
oh my! When Tanya kissed Edward, I was thinking, oh no, here we go again. Bella is going to see it, assume the worst and run away for about ten chapters. So, thank you for changing things up on us! i loved this. Love straong confident bella, when she makes up her mind to take the chance. of course I think she should not go to James party, particularly not without back up. Bad police work that, I think. But she's probably going to do it, alas.
Date: 31 Aug 2010 6:17 PM Title: Chapter 8
oh no! I didn't see that one coming. I sort of see both sides. As far as Alice and Bella know, Edward or Jasper could be dealing drugs! But on the other hand, why not bring in the teachers, if they are clean? Tough situation, and i bet Rose is going to be pissed.
Date: 31 Aug 2010 4:54 PM Title: Chapter 6
Oh, I'm very glad he knows, and i hope Jasper will find out too. I can foesee complications from the knowledge, but better than thinking he's risking his job over a student. loved the hot car kissing. i laughed at Alice blithely spilling the beans!
Author's Response: Oh my goodness. You're too sweet to me. EBD is my baby tee hee. You'll love Edward in it!! He is so sweet. I am also glad that you love CBLW Bella. I love her too. She's so strong and confident. Trust me. She's not insecure at all!! She'll play w/ E..it should be fun. ~Korry~
Date: 31 Aug 2010 4:09 PM Title: Chapter 4
oh boy, the plot thickens! What are they all going to do, and how are they going to resolve it and still keep under cover?
thanks for your response to my review. i am reading CBLW too, so i'll try to clarify in my reviews which story I'm reviewing. I'm crazy about both of them and like the diferences in tone and content very much. CBLW is the best Bella as domme I've read.
Date: 31 Aug 2010 3:32 PM Title: Chapter 3
you and me both! i'm too old for either, but I'd like Edward over Jasper. though I would love a Jasper as a friend, because he'd be a hell of a friend.
i am enjoying this story so much! i've seen the description for it for a while but wasn't sure I'd like it. But I have enjoyed your other story so much and decided today to give it a try. I'm so glad I did1 it's well written, it's fun, the characters and plot are greeat!
Awe, aren't you sweet. It's so funny because I'm so used to people reading EBD first and then trying CBLW, and not the other way around. So when I read your review I thought you were talking about CBLW...LoL
I'm so happy that you gave both of my stories a chance. They are really on two different spectrums...LoL
Much love, hun!!!
Date: 07 Aug 2010 3:44 AM Title: Chapter 34
It's always sad to see a favorite story come to an end, but it was a wonderful journey. You did a great job, I loved every bit of it!! The ending was perfect! I simply cannot wait for the epilogue :)
Author's Response: Thank you so so much for saying such nice things. Thank you for reading :)
Date: 07 Aug 2010 3:44 AM Title: Chapter 34
Awww - I love how you ended this story! What a fun and intense journey we had!!!! Thank you so very much and I hope you continue to write!
Author's Response: Thank you! It was crazy intense, huh? I will continue to write...I'm too addicted to it. I'll see you on the epi, hun :)
Date: 06 Aug 2010 11:17 PM Title: Chapter 34
I loved it. I thought it was fitting that he proposed in the place he first saw her and fell in love with her. It's sad to see the story coming to an end,but I definitely enjoyed every minute of it.
Author's Response: Thank you, hun. Your support of this story has meant so much to me. I am so thrilled that the ending of this story has gotten such a warm response. It's sad to see this story end, but I'm also happy how it's turned out. Thank you for your amazing reviews as always
Date: 06 Aug 2010 10:24 PM Title: Chapter 34
I love that he proposed where it all started.
Author's Response: I wanted Edward to propose the one place that meant a lot to them both and us as well. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you after the epilogue.
Date: 06 Aug 2010 7:41 PM Title: Chapter 34
I thought the story was perfect. I loved how it started; Bella knowing the truth but Edward not and him arguing with himself about being attracted to a student. I like how the truth was revealed, how they were able to work around it, how Tanya showed her true colors, Aro dying, Carlisle not being the bad guy, the culmination of their love and most of all, the proposal. The saying on Edward's white board is so true.
I'm looking forward to the epilogue. It's been a tremendous journey and I've enjoyed it!
Author's Response: Awe thank you so much for saying such sweet things, and you know I was going to make Carlisle a bad guy..you know for a twist, but I opted against it. It's best to keep in a good guy..that way there is always a chance for Bella to get her job back...that still if she wants it. I also tried to make E's proposal memorable and I knew he would take her back to where it all beginned. I promise not to make you wait to long for the epi..I just got to figure out what I want to say. Thank you again for being awesome and sticking with this story :)
Date: 06 Aug 2010 7:20 PM Title: Chapter 34
Wow! Edward's proposal was sweet.
Author's Response: Aweee I went over my scenrios with E, but I think he just wanted to get her in his classroom again. LoL I'm glad you liked it, though. Thank you for sticking with me on this story...it means the world to me.
Date: 06 Aug 2010 7:13 PM Title: Chapter 34
Great job, but I hate to see this story end.
Author's Response: Thank you so so much for always reviewing on this story and I've always enjoyed your reviews. I hate to let EBD go too, but on the bright side there's always the Epi..and I hope to make that delicious :)
Date: 06 Aug 2010 6:56 PM Title: Chapter 34
I have loved this story from the start, and when you post your epi. I will read it once again from the beginning!! Just wow!!
Author's Response: Awe thank you, hun. It's been such a long road..but it all went by so quickly. I'll mostly write a sequel where our Bella is a private eye with Alice...lol
Date: 28 Jul 2010 11:15 PM Title: Chapter 1
BTW, about that one certain review, FORGET ABOUT IT. This is YOUR story and this is what YOU wanted to write about. For what it's worth, you've done an amazing job on this fan fic. I'm sure that almost all of us gets what's happening. You weren't writing this story to win awards or anything, you wrote this story because it's a story that you saw in your head and in your heart and it's a story that you wanted to share. Yes reviews are great, my sister wrote fan fics too and got upset about some reviews, but don't let a negative review or two stop you from writing. YOU are the writer and it's YOUR story and I can understand that you're putting yourself out there but it's who you are. And let's face it, people are haters, people are jealous but don't let those people stop you from what you love to do. I always find that constructive criticism works best to help people improve. Obviously, those people never got the encouragement that they needed.
Again, great job on the story. Keep it up. Can't wait to see how this wraps up. High-5!
Date: 28 Jul 2010 10:15 PM Title: Chapter 30
OMG, I've been reading this for the past couple of days and I have to admit that no story that I've read so far has had me on the edge of my seat the way that this one did. My heart was palpitating while I read this chapter. Fabulous job on this story so far.
Date: 28 Jul 2010 1:12 AM Title: Chapter 33
Well, as fluffy as it was, it was well wrote. I enjoyed it, and though I truly hate to see any story end it was a good ride while it lasted.
I am going to give you some advice, as I am an author who has dealt with several flamers and is still dealing with a couple. If a person cannot get out what they have to say in 3 paragraphs or less, than don't waste your time reading it. This is fiction, some things are bound to be somewhat unrealistic. All plot stories, while interesting, can and usually do suck; fluff is what makes the edges of a story. If a review drives you to a point of being upset or tears, it is time to stop reading it and forget about it.
If you ever want to talk to someone who has been down the road of bad reviewers and flamers you can always PM me from FF.net, my account is http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1980992
Once again, great story.
Date: 22 Jul 2010 1:52 AM Title: Chapter 11
Well, I tried but I think that some chapters ago you abandoned what made your story special- your plot- to write a fluff-only story that does not make much sense.
See, when I read the summary and then started reading your story I was thinking "wow! like 21 Jump Street!" It has potential! This has not been done at all for Twilight fanfics... At least not being Bella the undercover agent and Edward the one having to deal with a relationship where "his girl" is going to have to deal with many potential situations while he stays at home grading papers.
But instead of trying to balance the fluff with a good plot, giving your characters time to not only fall in love so that it doesn't look so artificial (tell me, besides being a very hot cop, what could Edward say about Bella that sets her apart from the rest of the female population? Even Stephanie Meyer showed that, although there was always an unclassifiable connection, they required time to make their bond stronger while they are in the process of discussing likes and dislikes and getting to know each other) but also show their work as undercovers at the school, you disregarded completely that characters require some consistency to make them believable and that things need to make sense... at least a little bit!!! Instead, you have 3 cops- apparently having each of them quite a good reputation- that in 3 days only go to school and drool after their respective "future love of their lives". Not once you decide to put some meat into the story and actually show that they are really cops. In fact, if you didn't say they were cops I would take them for teens at high school, not for people nearing their 30's and certainly not policemen/policewomen and FBI agents.
Even more bizarre was the fact that they go undercover with their real names and using the cars they actually own for private use (can they scream more loudly?: "Hello, Volturi! It's the police here and we are sending some of our best cops out there to get information about your illegal activities but, hey! let them do their job in peace and do not kill them or anything, ok? We know you are good guys!)
Ok, those things bothered me but I decided to keep reading just to see if things could improve and you already said that some of these last chapters have been modified to improve them so I kept reading and hoping it was something that might indicate lack of experience or a beta during the first chapters.
So could you tell me how a cop goes on an undercover mission like if she was going on a blind date? No mic, no support, no one tailing her and her possible lead (who, by the way, she didn't find- it was the other way round!!!- because despite repeating each chapter what an amazing cop she is, fact is her actions paint her as a lousy one!!!) in case things go wrong? And no one knowing where she is going to be with the possible lead???? Particularly dealing with an organization so powerful that the FBI needs to step in and still it is difficult to get them? And you decide to send a policewoman on her own, without any kind of support and not even telling anyone what she plans to do besides "going on a date with someone everyone agrees about being dangerous to a concert who knows where..." And the FBI is totally fine with this!
And can you explain why that so professional cop seems to feel that there is no much reason to inform as soon as she can about that lead and her partner needs to step in and tell Rosalie? It does not matter if Rosalie is intimidating. If Bella is a good cop she shares the intel with the team and Rosalie is not there only to glare and blow a fuse over breaking rules (another great feat of professionalism, they could place an advert on the newspapers because I am seriously asking myself how many people besides James doesn't know by know!). She has to coordinate people and resources to help with the mission "Bella goes on a date!"
Look, to a degree I don't mind the stereotypes, the clichés or overused character personalities that much if there is a good idea behind them that supports the need to use them as so many people before you have done. And I can really understand that sometimes one intends to write about something but doesn't know exactly how. But at least there should be some signs of trying! There are quite a number of Twifics about undercovers on the net and maybe for a real FBI agent they would seem hilarious but to you, me and other twific readers they seem believable to a certain degree because authors have made the effort of researching or taking ideas from films, TV series, thrillers... and incorporating them so that things make sense and appear to be base in a logical series of events!
The main thing one has to keep in mind when telling a story is that you have to support what you are telling the reader about the story and its characters with facts. As I said, I cannot believe Bella (or Alice, Emmet and even Rosalie for that matter) is such a good cop when you have consistently shown that her actions contradict that statement. You just show a teen supposedly trapped in the body of a 28 years old woman who has a great recognition within the Seattle Police Department and even gets praises that can reach an FBI agent but has messed up every time she needs to act as a cop and who gets a lead in the investigation because said lead finds her and not the other way around... I'm sorry, it is just not believable!
I am sorry to give such a negative review. I wish I could say more positive things but, as I said at the beginning, besides having in your hands a good and original idea not seen many often in the Twific world, I can't say I have enjoyed what I've read so far and I wish you would actually take time to rework this story, because I will never deny that it has a great potential but the execution is seriously lacking.
Author's Response: This is my first attempt at a fic, and I know there are a lot of things I've done wrong, right, and plain bizarre, but it's too late to change anything. Honestly, I wish I would have done this story a different way, and in the future I could always try again. The thing I hate the most is wasting someone's time, and I feel I have wasted yours. I will finish this story up, but I will learn from my mistakes and plot the plot more. Take the time and really focus on what I want to get across. I know this review wasn't mean or malicious and I see that. And some would say they wouldn't want to know bad reviews, but I take what is said and learned from it. Best Wishes to you as well
Date: 21 Jul 2010 7:19 PM Title: Chapter 32
I have completely DEVOURED this story. your twists on the characters we love are BRILLIANT.... LOVE the lemons, love the drama, LOVE that Edward is gonna propose....
want more.. like 5 minutes ago... PLEASE?