Hi,

as much as I like alĺ of your stories so far, I have to point something out. Your german suck. And I mean it in the best possible way, not as an insult. Please find someone, who actually speak german to translate it.

Evary time Kurt talks to Bella, he talks to her as if she was a strange person, he just met not his lover. I know it´s difficult, because english does not differentiate between talking to a friend and talking to for example a professor, but in german and other languages - it´s a huge difference.

For example: in german "du bist" means "you are" when I am talking to somebody familiar (friend, family), where as "Sie sind" (always capital S) means also "you are" when I am talking to my betters or someone strange or someone, that has my respect - it means I am not on a firts name basis with them. Also many of the phrases you used are simply incorrect. If you want to send me the phrases, I will do my best to translate them.

Also (and it´s in many of your stories and apparently a favourite phrase of yours) it´s: You never "cease" to surprise me/amaze me or whatever not "seize". If you seize something, you take it by force, if you cease something, you stop doing it. Just a pointer.

Other than that - good job. I am hooked on your stories now and I don´t believe I will cease to read them until I finish every single one.

Again no hard feelings and sorry for the nitpicking, but I noticed at the beginning of the story, that you wanted pointers, so there they are.

Keep writing, you're good.

Best regards

Eslune