Membership status: Member
Bio:
Bella's first assignment as a journalist is to uncover the truth about Christian Polygamy. Dr. Edward Cullen is a small town doctor who lives his life by his own sets of rules. Edward and his wives live a lifestyle that many may not understand. After Edward treats Bella he invites her into his home, where Bella learns more than what she bargained for. How will her first assignment impact the rest of her life?
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, Non-Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward, Edward/Alice, Edward/Rose
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 25 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 162668 Read Count: 153118
Date: 01 Jul 2010 Title: Chapter 13: Flashback
Hey there! I've been following this tale for quite a while now. I like how you've managed to weave the religious and polygamous aspects into the Cullen world... as well as the modern world. I'm enjoying discovering the background of the women so far. I am really eager to see what happens in that meeting! One of the things that I'm looking forward to this story is when Rosalie wises up and starts cuddling up to Bella. Goddess, I'm a sucker for poly female "bonding moments". There's just something about that trust that has to be present between two people that are knowingly and willingly sharing a lover.
I thought I might sort of give you a little bit of feedback, if you don't mind. It's just a pet peeve of mine and it's not really serious in this story so I let it slide, but I thought you'd want to know anyway. It's the use of the word "thru". I mean, it's a valid word, and a common one at that. Even my mother uses it.
But it's my personal opinion that it not be used in writing, unless there's a specific reason for it (i.e. texting, notes, etc.). I mean, when a person is thinking they don't usually think in shortened terms, you know? If I'm thinking to myself, for example, I would think, "I gotta go through downtown on the F99 up past the bridge." and not "I gotta go thru...." etc. However, if I was writing it down in a text... yeah, I'd be all "I gtg, thru downtown F99 past bridge." So basically, it's all about what the situation is. So I would just recommend you try writing words completely out and just see how it feels to you and just go with whatever feels right to you. It's not really bothering me in this story because it's not all over the place. :)
So you haven't updated for a month and I know that's unusual for you. I hope you're all right, and just ran into a bad case of writer's block or something!
Author's Response:
There will be some serious girl time in the coming chapters, what else would the girls do while Edward's at work. We may need to give Rose a little time to adjust, it may take her awhile.
I will try to remember not to use thru now that it has been brought to my attention. I don't put a lot of thought into the grammer involved in the story. I just write for fun.
As you now know I didn't have writer's block. I was having a hard time putting my thoughts on paper with everything that is going on.
Date: 07 Jul 2010 Title: Chapter 14: Revelations Before The Fire
Oh, great chapter! FINALLY, Edward has asked Bella to give the family a shot - I've been WAITING for this. The meeting's up next, right? And Edward's gonna ask Alice and Rose about dating Bella, too, right? Right? Right? Can you tell I've been waiting for this?
I liked how you had Edward come to this realization and talk about it with Bella. And how you had Bella really think about this before agreeing, it shows us that she's not going into this blind. (You know, I'd love to see a chat between the girls, about the more intimate parts of dating...)
And I'm very sorry about your hardships this past month! I hope your cousin recovers quickly. I'm glad you had a good vacation though.
Looking forward to the next update!
Author's Response:
Yes the family meeting is next, maybe even the next two chapters. Yes they will discuss dating Bella. and Yes I can tell that you have been waiting for this. There will be some sersious girl talk while Edward is working in the next few chapters.
Date: 19 Jul 2010 Title: Chapter 15: Fire's Blazing
Okay. This is the only story where I've started reviewing every chapter... ;)
First, I loved that glimpse into Rosalie's interactions with her sisters. It's nice to see, every now and then, that little glimpse - to be reassured that things are going sort of okay for her sisters and such.
Second, I really enjoyed the talk between Edward and Rosalie; and you even included Rosalie's inability to control her body's reaction to him. That's very her.
Third, meeting! Yay! Well, the start of it anyway! Rosalie saw that Bella and Alice were having a little girl talk - are we going to find out what was discussed later? Then, wow... Alice really unloaded on Rosalie. Had to happen, though! Throughout the story, I got the sense that Alice loved Rosalie, but she was sort of pressured by her, because of the baby issue. I guess I was right!
It can't be easy, knowing that her sister wife wants babies so bad, and not being able to have any. Alice knows she can have them for her, but also knows that she can't have them right now - the family's not stable enough. But Rosalie isn't exactly helping, right, she's not trying to make it stable enough. Poor Alice. :-(
I figure that's the real reason Alice got so attached to Bella so fast; she knows Bella would fit in just fine, AND Bella would have no expectations of Alice other than just being her friend and sister wife.
Good work so far! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thank You so much it really means a lot to me. I'm so happy that you take the time to review every chapter. I myself have a hard time reviewing everything I read, because I read on my phone and I can't review that way. I am always second guessing myself when I write and am afraid that I have pushed it too far. So the reviews keep my twisted mind writing.
I know it tears Rose up that they are still there with her father but she does all she can to make sure they are safe. I think it was about time that Alice spoke up. It would be wrong to bring a baby into the family before everyone was ready. I feel bad for everyone no one is really getting what they want.
Thanks again for reviewing and I love feedback.... Denise
Bella is a student at UW who lives a routine, struggled life, but that changes when she meets Edward Cullen,CEO of his Company. How exactly do they meet? What happens when their lifes collide? Does Bella uncover Edwards darkest secrets or does Edward learn Bellas hidden truths first. D/S Material
Thanks to bjelaja for taking the time to make this awesome banner! (:
Categories: Twilight, All Human
Characters: None
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Domward's Dungeon, My All-Time Favorites
Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 38146 Read Count: 76150
Date: 30 Jun 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Hey, there. I'm enjoying your story so far. It's very... *chuckle* amusing? All the mood swings must be driving Bella crazy by now, it sure is for me!
One thing I did notice was you have a mistake. It's in this sentence... "None. I'm 24, so I guess that would be half a decade."
In fact, a decade is ten years, so he's actually gone through two and half decades. There's no term for fifty years, but there is for 100 years - that's a century. Half a decade would be five years old. He's a bit... too tall for that. half a century is 50 years.