The fact that I read your stories ( this one and The Training school) in only two days speaks for itself. I'm more than impresssed by how much darkness you ladies have inside of you. It's remarkable how much effort you put into your stories to make the readers jump in their seats when a door busts open or a particulary scene is described. I can't explain why but dark stories just seem to have an unexplainable pull for me. I like them and after reading your stories I'm not ashamed to admit it *grins*.

I used to work as an critic for a local paper here in Vienna/Austria, although I quit my job a while ago, because frankly I wanted to have more reasonable hours and wanted to write myself. Needless to say that it's easier said than done. It always came very easy to me to explain to writers what their stories were missing, but writing my own stories is not as easy. My point is I could point out a few remarks I have regarding your stories on the spot but I think it's rather unfair (something I started to think after I began writing my own stories) Still I hope you forgive me for pointing out something to you. I know you two ladies are pretty good at what you do but I think you should try a little harder to think as a man when you're writing from a male's point of view. Do you really believe a man would go on and start crying so easily? Would a man who's been very proud of his life (Edward in TTS or Edward here in VO) start crying? I may be a little biased because frankly I hate men who cry but truth is I noticed in many of your Chapters that these are the sentiments of a woman not a man. I'm not saying your Chapters are bad ( I pointed out before how captivated I was by your stories) I'm just trying to tell you to be more objective when you write a man's point of view.

To end my review on a lighter note: I love your site I love that you allow dark stories and how much work you put into it! You're really great and I#m looking forward to yur next Chapter!

PS: I usually don't like reading unfinished stories, because I hate the waiting for an Update but after reading TTS I just couldn't resist! Keep up the unbelievable great work!!!!

TheRani