Membership status: Member
Bio:
Bella is graduating high school and looking for a Dom. Edward is the Head Master at her school and he is who she wants. Problem - he is married, has kids, a friend of Bella's fathers, 35 and oh! he isn't a Dom. Can she get him? - Maybe!
My entry for FF's Forbidden Lemon contest.
Banner inside chapter 1 to comply with Google ads requirements.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Domward's Dungeon, Ageise02's Read Stories, Bdsm stories only, I Whitlock's read , Love to drive's Stories to read set 2, My all time favorites, Amberina's Completed Favs List, My Favorite Stories, To Read , Fav BDSM Fics, My favs past present and future
Chapters: 22 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 210865 Read Count: 123471
Date: 09 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 8: The Third Year - The First Six Months
So glad the kids were happy about Edward and Bella being together. I can't figure out what is Rose and Alice's problem.
Date: 09 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 7: The Second Year - The Second Six Months
Loved this chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 08 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 6: Christmas Break - The Second Year
Wow, what a scary situation for the kids. Love little Evan. Glad Charlie was as understanding as he was.
Date: 08 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 5: The Second Year - First Six Months
So much going on in this chapter. Loved Bella's pay back from Edward. Lol. Glad Edward got legal custody of the kids. Still don't like Tanya gets them 50%. The only reason she wants them is to hurt Edward. So glad Bella and Rose are there for Emily.
Date: 08 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 4: The Second Six Months
Loved Bella playing with Edward. I am worried that James is going to cause problems. Will he and Tanya help each other? That could be bad.
Date: 07 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 3: Christmas Break
Love the cottage.
Date: 07 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 2: The First Six Months
I am glad that Emily feels so comfortable talking to Bella about those sensitive subject. Bella gave him very good advice about handling Tanya.
Date: 06 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 1: Be My Master
Bella had everything thought out.
Date: 15 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 22: Fifteen Years Later
Love love loved this story. You are an amazing writer. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story with us.
Date: 15 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 21: Ten Years Later
Love seeing into their future.
Date: 14 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 20: The Sixth Year The Second Six Months
So glad they are back in the playroom.
Date: 14 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 19: Christmas Break The Sixth Year
I'm so glad that the delivery went well. Glad everyone was healthy.
Date: 14 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 19: Christmas Break The Sixth Year
I'm so glad that the delivery went well. Glad everyone was healthy.
Date: 13 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 18: The Sixth Year The First Six Months
I am glad Esme finally decided to talk to Edward. It took her long enough. 3 babies!!!!!!! Wow.
Date: 13 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 17: Outtake - Esme's Reasons
Well, that was interesting. Carmen was jealous of Esme.
Date: 13 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 16: The Fifth Year The Second Six Months
What in the world was in that envelope that Charlie gave Esme?????? I can't wait to read Esme's pov.
Date: 13 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 15: Christmas Break The Fifth Year
So much fun in the new playroom. Thomas was definitely having too much fun with his phone call to Edward. I can't believe Esme invited Tanya and her mother. I'm glad Bella was honest with them. Hopefully NOW Esme will see her mistakes and apologize to Edward and Bella.
Date: 13 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 14: The Fifth Year The First Six Months
I hope what Emily said to her grandmother really opens Esme's eyes.
Date: 12 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 13: The Fourth Year The Second Six Months
Their lives are coming together and they are closer to Happily Ever After.
Date: 12 Aug 2021 Title: Chapter 12: Christmas Break The Fourth Year
Beautiful wedding!!!!!!!!!! Edward is the best.
Oh no, how did Esme find out they were returning from their trip. She didn't even know they went.
Edward Mason is the leader of Mason Corporations. Isabella Swan is set to take over leadership of Swan industries from her ill father Charlie Swan. He wants Swan Industries, she wants Mason Corporations, but their Father's have a different plan for the two to get what they want...how will they take it and how will it all work. SOME CONTENTS ARE FOR THOSE WHO ARE, AT LEAST, 17 AND OVER.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward, Carlisle/Esme, Emmett/Rose, Jasper/Alice
Genre: Action, Drama, Erotica, Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 50 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 237944 Read Count: 56492
Date: 13 Apr 2021 Title: Chapter 40: Jane's Story and Aro's End
I'm glad Jane got to tell her father how she really felt. That was a gruesome death. Aro deserved it. I feel like Edward and Bella will help Jacob.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review
Date: 13 Apr 2021 Title: Chapter 39: Jenny's Surprise
I hope Jane can out behind her what her father did to her.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review. It will be a long road for Jane, but i think she'll get there in the end.
Date: 11 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 4: Just One More Condition
Love that they are taking the time to really talk to each other and are not hostile with each other.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 11 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 5: A Show of Heart
Edward is more software heartedthen he thinks. I am wondering if we will get Bella's POV.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 25 Aug 2019 Title: Chapter 29: A well-deserved holiday
I am so glad she is away from Aro a d his family. I am still worried that Jane is going to cause trouble in the future.
Author's Response: thank you
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 17: The Next Step
OMGosh, I am surprised that Edward did not go all caveman on that idea. Lol.
Author's Response:
I was going to have him go all caveman, but he has seen Bella in action and knows that she isnt a weakling and has started to see her as an equal.....although i think he may have some things to say to her before she leaves to start this mission.
Thank you of your review.
Date: 18 Oct 2020 Title: Chapter 32: Business dinner’s and Unexpected results
Awesome!!!!!! What good luck for all of them.
Author's Response:
Thank you for you review. It was really lucky the Aro pissed off the wrong people.
Date: 13 Oct 2020 Title: Chapter 31: Back to Reality
I hope their meeting goes well. Love that Bella had to got on to Edward about toughing up. Lol.
Author's Response:
Thank you, i thought it would be funny to reverse the roles between Edward and Bella for at least a moment because everything is changing for them so quickly and Edward is still trying to get his head around it all. This is why they work good as a team!
Date: 10 Oct 2020 Title: Chapter 30: Holiday Bliss!
Loved this chapter!!!!!! Loved everything about it.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much!
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 10: A Helpful Gentleman
Love how Bella teased Edward while she was getting ready.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 11: The Formal Dinner
Hot damn!!!! A chick fight !!!!!!!! Lol. Glad Bella did not take any shit off of Rose.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review! I wanted to make Bella a bit of a kind hearted bad ass in this story and Rose with her attitude still. I will get into why later in the story, but if you want more chick fights between them let me know!
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 12: Returning the Favor
Love love love this chapter.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 13: Calm Before The Storm
What does Edward's dad want with them?
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 11 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 9: Best Goodnight Ever
I can not believe that she already ducked him off. They just meet that day. Wow.
Author's Response:
hey they are both lonely adults who are facing death all the time so they both have the mindset of there is no time like the present and they don't waste their time mucking around
Date: 04 Mar 2019 Title: Chapter 19: Let the games begin
Can't wait for more
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 11 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 6: Telling Alice and Jasper
Glad Alice accepted Bella.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 11 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 7: Family Dynamics and an Unexpected Surprise
Edward's attitude sure has changed from this morning.
Author's Response:
I wanted to show that hw had this softer side inside him, but he didn't know it was there yet at the same time he is someone who goes with his gut instincts a lot. thank you for your reveiw
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 15: Let's Party, Our Way
I hope you did a Bella POV.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 11 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 8: Gift Revealed
What does he say? I am so off to read the next chapter. Ao,glad I do not have to wait for an update.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 06 May 2021 Title: Chapter 45: Wedding Bells, Surprises and Drama Part 1
Glad Jacob decided to work for them. Happy that Edward is so aware of what is going on with Bella.
Author's Response:
Thank you!
Date: 11 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 3: Conditions
I am glad that things are going so well for them.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 15 Apr 2021 Title: Chapter 41: Getting Will's help and Jenny going to Sleep
Alot going on in this chapter
Author's Response:
Yes sorry if that was too much, i was on a roll and didnt know where to end the chapter. thank you for your review
Date: 02 Dec 2020 Title: Chapter 37: Mole Extermination
I enjoyed your BDSM. Good job. They do work good together.
Author's Response:
Thank you, in their line of work they need good teamwork in all parts of their lives. Thank you for reiveiwing.
Date: 21 Nov 2020 Title: Chapter 36: Bringing down the Moles
Can't wait to see how they interrogate the both of them.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review, i have some fun stuff planned for these moles.... well fun for Edward and Bella
Date: 14 Sep 2021 Title: Chapter 47: A much needed trip
Love Jake and Nessie's relationship.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 08 May 2019 Title: Chapter 21: Time to Gather the Pieces - Part 2
I have a feeling Edward's plan is for Bella to get pregnant by him and not James. Aro is sick. Telling her that he will help her kill his own son. That is just wrong.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review. I thought to add something in there to show why this family has to go down.
Date: 15 Nov 2020 Title: Chapter 35: Kinky Fuckery
What was sent to Aro??????
Author's Response:
That is the million dollar question ;) Thank you for your review
Date: 25 Oct 2020 Title: Chapter 33: Unexpected Deliveries
Omgosh!!!!! The stories they can tell. Lol
Author's Response:
Yep :P
Date: 29 Mar 2021 Title: Chapter 38: The Christening
Oh my. I'm so happy to get this update. I have missed this story. Glad everything went as planeed. What in the world does Carlisle want them for.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for your review! And I am sooo very sorry it took me a bit to get to updating.
Date: 03 Mar 2019 Title: Chapter 19: Let the games begin
Can't wait to see how they take James down.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 28 Oct 2021 Title: Chapter 48: Jenny's Twins
So glad the babies are ok.
Author's Response:
Thank you
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 16: A Brand new day, brand new dramas
Their 1st time. Great chapter.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 10 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 2: Meetings and Unexpected, but welcomed Changes
Definitely not dull moments.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 12 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 14: The Storm Has Begun
I hope Alan is feeling all wrong this time. I hope Edward and Bella will be ok.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 19 May 2021 Title: Chapter 46: Wedding bells, Surprises and Drama Part 2
Love love love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Author's Response:
Thank you!
Date: 10 Jan 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Introductions
This sounds like they are going to have some fun. Lol.
Author's Response:
I was looking through all my reviews and i found this, your very first review of my story! I just want to say a personal thank you for sticking with me and my story despite the many years it has taken me to write it! Thank you thank you thank you!
Date: 20 Aug 2019 Title: Chapter 28: The final stretch
So glad their meeting went ok. I hope Jane does not become a problem in the future.
Author's Response: thank you
Date: 17 Aug 2019 Title: Chapter 27: Bye-bye James, Hello home - Part 2
Poor Bella, having to put up with all those creepy people.
Author's Response: thank you
Date: 17 Aug 2019 Title: Chapter 26: Bye-bye James, Hello home – Part 1
Oh my!!!!! Aro is a sick person. Glad things are going good for Edward and Bella's plan.
Author's Response: thank you
Date: 01 Nov 2020 Title: Chapter 34: Beginning of the End
I am a little worried about Aro hanging up as abruptly. Surely if Jane knows something is wrong she will let them know. Also love that Edward and Bella are a little kinky. Love reading about Dom/sub.
Author's Response:
Yes it is alarming that Aro did that and I am sure Jane would say something if she knew of something to say. I just thought to add a little kink in there to just show that with their lives they need to have a safe space to get out of a dominant frame of mind and be vulnerable but also be in complete control when things may not be going as planned. If that makes sense. Thank you for your review
Date: 17 Apr 2021 Title: Chapter 42: Jacob Black
I love the talked between Bella and Edward Sr.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review! I felt that he needed some more air time and that i wanted to show his softer side. plus he had to deal with Edward when he was younger so...
Date: 17 Dec 2018 Title: Chapter 18: Working out the kinks
I hope Bella doesn't get hurt with James.
Author's Response:
Bella is a lot stronger than James knows about as he and the rest of the Volturi havent heard the rumors about Bella, but your hope is the same as Edward's so your going to have to keep reading to find out. Thank you for your review.
Date: 30 Apr 2019 Title: Chapter 20: Time to gather the pieces - part one
I can't wait to see how she handles James.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review. Just letting you know Bella has some evil plans for James and their other targets and she wants to play with James' mind before she finally strikes *cue evil laugh and sinister smile*
Date: 19 May 2019 Title: Chapter 22: Pleasant Surprises save the day
Oh wow. Glad Carlisle came prepared. Bella will definitely have fun now knowing that James likes to be dominated. Lol.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review!
Date: 04 Jun 2019 Title: Chapter 23: When the opportunity arises…. Take it swiftly
Wow, Bella throw Victoria over the banister. Aro is going to help kill his own son. What a fucked up family.
Author's Response:
Just goes to show just how bad James has been and hey they are a crime family and Aro needs to save face from his son's stuff up, but what is his loss will be Bella and Edward's gain lolz
Date: 20 Apr 2021 Title: Chapter 44: Playtime with the Kids and a Heart to Heart
Loved seeing Charlie, Edward Sr. and Edward together.
Author's Response:
yeah i had to put in there about three tough guys being goo goo ga ga over some cute babies :) thank you for your review
Date: 25 Jun 2019 Title: Chapter 24: Tying up loose ends
Glad Edward talked to Bella. Also glad he is in the house with her.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 19 Jul 2019 Title: Chapter 25: A race to the finish line, Bella style
Aro is so sickening. I do not see how Bella let mother dearest wash her. I dont think I could.
Author's Response:
thank you
Date: 19 Apr 2021 Title: Chapter 43: Alice
Love Edward's relationship with his sister.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review! Edward is a very good big brother.
Date: 02 Jul 2022 Title: Chapter 49: Jane meets Will and Jenny's fate
What is up with Jack coming and staying? Will this be trouble? Can't wait for more. Glad you updated. I have missed this story.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I am hoping to answer those questions and more in the Epilogue, but basically i'm also leaving things a tiny bit open in case i wish to write a part two to this story.
Date: 17 Oct 2022 Title: Chapter 50: Epilogue
Love it!!!!!!! I an sorry to see this story end. But thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Author's Response:
I am so glad you enjoyed it like I loved writing it. I almost didn't want to end it, but I also didn't want to ruin it by continuing and drawing it out when it didn't need that. I will be starting on another fanfic as well as I am writing a new fanfic that is a different take on what happens from new moon. So please keep an eye out for more from me. Thank you again for following alone with this story, your awesome!
A darker romance. Searching for balance and trust, Edward and Bella negotiate a tangled web of sex, blood, secrets, kink, and demons from the past. NOT CANON-STYLE VAMPIRES but canon pairings. Very, very AU.
WARNING: This story contains much in the way of lemons, violence, and dark and dominant Edward.
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, Alternate Universe
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 49922 Read Count: 11468
Date: 03 Aug 2015 Title: Chapter 3: You Just Might Get It
Where is Bella? ? Is she ok?
Date: 03 Aug 2015 Title: Chapter 1: Cold and Hot
OMGosh! He bit her??
Date: 03 Aug 2015 Title: Chapter 2: Revelations and Invitations
This Bella has some kink!!!!!!!!
After a terrible shipwreck in the Mediterranean Sea, Isabella Swan, marquise de Courville, her two best friends and her loyal servants are rescued, but only to become slaves and serve the Volturi brothers, three men with very dark desires. All human. Domward.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Erotica, Historical
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Domward's Dungeon, Finished, My Favorite Stories
Chapters: 45 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 201090 Read Count: 184002
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Isabella Marie Swan, marquise de Courville.
Sounds very interesting. Where does Edward come into this? Can't wait to read the next chapter.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 2: Pleasing Bella.
So Bella is still and virgin and Jacob did not get his release. LOL!!!!! I have heard of ladies in waiting...but Bella just left Jacob in waiting. lol!!!! Poor Jacob.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 3: The ship wreck.
OMG!!! Ship wrecked...were are they? What is going on with Jasper? Can't wait to go to the next chapter. I am off.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 4: The lords of Volterra
ok, Edward is kind of like a pimp. How interesting!!! What did Aro mean by "she may need some special treatment after her visit to the infirmary?
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 5: The good doctor and the bad masters.
At least Edward does seem to care for the girls, a little.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 6: Edward and the slave Tanya.
That was a a really good lemon.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 7: The journey to Volterra
OMG!!!! I can't believe that Jasper hit Bella. That just does not seem like anything that Jasper would do but I guess he really is out of character here in this story. I am just use to Jasper always being the gentler one.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 8: The harem
WOW!!!! I liked that Bath. Now I need one. LOL!!!! Would love to know I would love to know what is Edward thinking when he saw Bella.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 9: Edward meets Bella
I was so excited to see that this chapter was Edward's POV. Now I kknow what he thought of Bella. I am off to read the next chapter. I am so glad that I do not have to wait for an update. I can not wait to see what Edward is going to do to Bella and to see how she is going to react.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 10: The training room
Again, I am off to read the next chapter. SOOOO glad I do not have to wait for an update. I really need to start cleaning my house. But that will have to wait for now. I NEED to read the next chapter.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 11: Bella's punishment
Bella really is naive. I hope that Edward can help her. Maybe Edward will work something out that Bella could see how the Volturia treat their sex slaves before she meets them.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 12: Jacob Black's escape
I am really scared for Jacob.
Date: 11 Aug 2010 Title: Chapter 13: The trap
OMG!!!!!!! I can't believe that I have to wait for an update NOW!!!!!! NOW!!!!! With the end of this chapter being soooooooo good. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE hurry and update. I can not wait!!!!! I guess I will go clean my house now. lol
Date: 28 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 45: Epilogue
Loved this story. I am sorry that it ended. I love period stories. You did a great job. Thanks for sharing with us.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading and reviewing :0)
I have consolidated the out takes of People like us into one place! These are the sub stories born out of the pages of PLU.
Categories: Twilight
Characters: None
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: My To Read List, Finished, Amberina's Completed Favs List, Stories Read by CNYBella, Stories I've Already read, My Favorite Stories, J's Read and Loved Stories, Stories I've read, My favs past present and future
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 54321 Read Count: 228058
Date: 05 Jun 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Alice and Jasper #1
Thank you for giving us Alice and Jasper's background. I love Alice. She is determined to get what she wants. Great Job!!!!
Date: 05 Jun 2010 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - Carlisle & Esme
Great job!!!! Nice to know where the Cullen boys get if from.
Date: 05 Jun 2010 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - Emmett & Rosalie
WOW!!!!! That was F**king HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!!!!! GREAT GREAT JOB!!!!!!
At first I thought Emmett was a bit rough with Rose in the garage but then as the story went on, I realized that that was just the was Rose and Emmett were. Great job, again.
Date: 05 Jun 2010 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Jasper & Alice #2
I LOVED LOVED LOVED this!!!!!!!! You did a wonderful job with this chapter. I am soooooo very glad that you showed us Alice's punishment. This was awesome!!!!
Date: 29 Dec 2010 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
I am soooo glad that Jaspser and Alice have made up. I am sorry for taking so long to review. I am behind on all my reviews.
Date: 22 Sep 2010 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5
LOVED THIS OUTTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response:
thank you - it was such fun to write
Date: 30 Dec 2010 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think this is my favorite outtake. I love your DOM Carlisle. WOW!!!! HOT HOT HOT!!!!!!!! You might need to start another story with Carlisle and Esme as the main subject, but finish this first. GREAT GREAT Chapter!!!!!
Date: 07 Feb 2011 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9
SO SO SO GOOD!!!!!! I love me some Dr. C and Esme. GREAT GREAT JOB!!!!! I knew when Esme walked off with Alice that she was going to get into trouble. I can't believe that he made her wait for two days for her punishment Wow!!!! Love the pictures.
Author's Response:
thanks so much for the feedback honey! he is a meanie sometimes!!!
After finding a child abandoned on the streets of Seattle, Bella Swan raises him as her own. What happens to their lives when his biological family is finally found?
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: None
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's Read Stories, Finished, My all time favorites, Drive's Stories to read that are Completed and Not completed, Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiHu, Stories I've Already read, My Favorite Stories, Misstoria's Stories to Read, J's Read and Loved Stories, My favs past present and future
Chapters: 38 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 145849 Read Count: 211604
Date: 31 Jul 2016 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 8
I hope things work out. Can't wait to see Edward's reaction. Hope he is not ugly to Bella.
Date: 31 Jul 2016 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 5
Thingsseem to be working out for Bella
Date: 31 Jul 2016 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 6
I loved little Jack at the book signing. That was so cute.
Date: 31 Jul 2016 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 7
I love how you included Jack on the story. I always enjoyed reading stories that the writer actually writes the kids on the story line.