I collect odd quotes, write children’s stories and fan fiction, garden manically, and have some sort of attention problem because I always have three or more projects going at the same time. I am married and have one child. I’m old enough to know better but I always do it any way so life is anything but boring. Add impulse control to my growing list of odd conditions. I have a truly sick sense of humor and a temper like a flare gun.

I have had numerous goldfish that I always name Floater. I also have a Boston terrier who just lights up my life. He’s one eyed and resembles a bobble head toy.

I like to travel. The east coast is almost covered and I’m working on the west coast. I would willingly live in Alaska, I love that place. Vegas, well it was cool when I was younger but no so very now. Europe is the way to go. I’ve been to the England, Wales, Scotland, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and Italy. I prefer the UK because I can order food there and somewhat know what I will eventually get back. I am fascinated with Australia and Alaska. If one day I disappear and it’s not because of a serial killer, I will probably have absconded to either of those locations.

Interest: there are just so many things.

Books: Laurell K Hamilton (Anita & Merry) / Sherrilyn Kenyon (Ash melts butter) / Thomas Harris (book two is the best, love the way it ends) / Agent Pendergast books by Douglas Preston/Lincoln Child (but where the hell are they going with the series now?? / Dean Koontz (Christopher Snow & Odd Thomas) / Linda Howard (Read - Kiss me while I sleep) / Anne Rice (Exit to Eden, Belinda, & The Sleeping Beauty series) / Christopher Moore is irreverent as hell and I love to quote him / Twilight (all of them. Sigh….Edward and Jasper oh the possibilities.) / Dune series

Movies: The Lover (1992 that guy was so HOT) / The Pillow Book / Don’t tell her it’s me (80’s romantic movie) / Pride and Prejudice (both versions) / American Dreamer (80’s romantic movie) / Hannibal (they fucked it up when they didn’t go by the book!!) / House of Flying Daggers / Princess Bride / Armageddon (Rock hound is my hero) / Trainspotting / Rocky Horror Picture Show (say it, say it….)

TV: Dr Who (David Tennant, yum. I miss him so much!) / Revenge (this show is HOT!) I’m a bit of a nerd so I watch a lot of Turner Classics, Sci channel, History, etc…

Fanfiction: Twilight - I am hooked. / Labrinth – look up PaisleyRose oh she is soooooo good / Hannibal - Kurtis the master of this group try "Daddy's Girl" they should make a movie on that one! / Harry Potter - Ms-Figg has the best smut with a plot. And she is a local (cross the creek) southern bell. / Peter Pan – Captain Hook – as Dix puts it STUMP SEX HURTS SO GOOD (she’s a freak)

Music: Debussy – I was hooked on Arabesque and Girl With the Flaxen Hair (my fav) before the Twilight movie started a feeding frenzy on Clair de Lune / Jimmy Buffett (my hometown boy) / Linkin Park / Lana Del Ray / Apocalyptica (there is something about a guy with long hair and a cello) / Maroon 5 / John Mayer /

Oh heck I listen to everything it’s a pain trying to list it. I can’t bear rap. It disgusts me and makes me violent.

Real Life:

Vegetable Gardening is an obsession. Try square foot gardening - great method.

I love four wheeling. I turn into Laura Croft and have to remind myself no second takes. I tend to ride without my helmet. It’s freaking 100+ degrees here with 100+ humidity, they melt your brain!

Quotes:

Brothels are a much sounder investment than ships I’ve found. Whores seldom sink. Even when boarded by pirates.

Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it. -Elizabeth Wurtzel 1967

It's just that in the Deep South, women learn at a young age that when the world is falling apart around you, it's time to take down the drapes and make a new dress." — Karen Marie Moning

Don't let them cram your head with crap about bad spinsters and innocent princesses. Cinderella just got cinders. Stay out all night, you won't turn into a pumpkin. Beauty sleeps forever. Snow White was just a nursemaid to dwarves. Once upon a time all you do is get old.

"Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is short! Break the rules!

Oh, I would while away the hours, Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song, I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie, If I only had a schlong.” r13; Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal note sing this to the tune of “If I only had a Brain” from Wizard of Oz, it will stick in your brain. I see this and end up humming it for days on end.

“This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional gramar, split infinitives, and the odd wank.” r13; Christopher Moore, Fool