Membership status: Member
Bio:
banner by lvtwight09
When Bella was three, she was found abandonned outside of a hospital in LA. She was placed with Carlisle, Esme, and their twin boys, Emmett and Jasper. What happens when they move to Forks? NC-17&AH Cannon pairing.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama
Language: None
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Ageise02's Read Stories, I Whitlock's read , Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiHu, Stories I've Already read, My Favorite Stories, My favs past present and future , to read
Chapters: 60 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 186533 Read Count: 268908
Date: 05 Dec 2013 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30
I was going to wait until I finished reading and comment, but I could not hold on any longer. Quite simply, your story is amazing. The characters are so complex. I honestly feel like I can feel their struggles. It is heartbreaking and wonderful all at the same time. The grief is overwhelming, just as I would think it would be. There are no good guys or bad guys so far,well other than the car jacker. There are just so many layers and so much hurt. I can see all the different sides of what they are all going through, and I feel for all of them. I am sorry I put off reading your story for so long because it is truly amazing. It kills me to stop long enough to review, but I just had to.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much. I knew when I started this story that it would be a hard one to write. Like you said, there are so many layers to each of them. There were times when I really struggled to allow myself into the mindspace that I needed to be for this one, but overall, I'm really pleased with how it came out. And I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story.
Banner by Kyndall Viscia
What do you do when your biological clock is ticking? Uh? You hit up your best friend's brother for 'donations'.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: To Read, To Read (Geddy), Lilyellacullens want to read list!, Dumbi's Most Wanted
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 50937 Read Count: 421235
Date: 21 Jun 2012 Title: Sperm Donor Wanted
I almost hurt myself from laughing so hard. My face was red and tears were falling fast - oh this story is so many kinds of awesome. Emmett cracks me the heck up.....I love how hillbilly he is - he is an awesome hillbilly. And Bella farting in Edward's face, I really did laugh out loud - which was awkward cause I am at work and people looked. I am officially hooked and can't wait for more. Thank you for giving me the best laugh I have had all day.
Date: 13 Jul 2012 Title: Sperm Donor Wanted
You know, I was having a craptastic day and then I read your update - you provided me with the first real laugh I have had today. I flipping love Rosalie - I need to get a Rosalie (and maybe even an Emmett) of my own. Seriously though, thanks fi rthe chuckle - I so needed it.
Date: 31 Jul 2012 Title: Sperm Donor Wanted
Oh sweet baby Jesus - I almost hurt myself I was laughing so hard. I freaking love hillbilly Emmett, even if he is a cockblocker. I haven't laughed like that....full out belly laugh.....in quite some time. Thanks - I really needed that! :)
Bella Swan rose to fame starring in the hit Disney Channel series 'Girl Next Door'. Now that she's finally legal, she's ready to lose the sweetheart image. What better way to start than to get a tattoo? E/B Olderward/Tattward - Drabblish
Now available on Blogger - http://hotbubblegumfic.blogspot.com/
banner by FrozenSoldier
banner by SoapyMayhem
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: My Favorite Stories, Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 66 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 45471 Read Count: 312761
Date: 04 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I laughed so hard at their reactions to Bella. Jasper is so adorably geeky and awkward and Alice.....she was great - glad to know no dogs were rendered deaf......way to keep the reaction calm......
Can I say I am so freaking happy you are posting over here. Living without your awesome stories would be like living without my coffee.....just can't do it.
Date: 08 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 61: Chapter 61
That was great. Jasper is just a wee bit creepy there with the whole I have posters of you in my room....poor boy is just so awkward. I got the same level of amusement out of the situation as Edward. What a hot mess of fun. Thanks for the laugh on a dreary day.
Date: 08 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 62: Chapter 62
Edward is so dang sweet he makes my teeth hurt. Just when I think I can't like him anymore, he just gets better and better. Can't wait for dear Bella's reaction. Ghaaa....you spoil us.
The black diamond slopes of Lake Tahoe are just what Bella needs to start living her life again after a painful breakup left a hole in her heart that work couldn't fill. Will a handsome and charming skier also prove that her heart is ready for love too?
Banner by Amandac3
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: G8or Favor8s Read, Kuu Faves, Stories Read by CNYBella, Completed Stories, Stories I've Already read, Sparkledamnu's Must Reads, TBR
Chapters: 55 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 267782 Read Count: 165795
Date: 24 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24
Bloody hell woman!!!! I just spent all day reading this wonderfully awesome story....and....damn is all I can say. I am so glad ff.net went insane or I might never have come over here and found you. I seriously pouted when I saw I was all caught up.
Edward and Bella are hot as hell together, good lord I haven't cooled down yet. I can't wait until the gala - can't wait to see Tanya get taken down by the girls. Anyway, I need to go cool my happy little arse off now - I can't wait for more. I am addicted.....so fricking addicted.
Author's Response:
Date: 29 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25
Normally I am only a partially violent person, but for Leah I would make an exception. I know Bella could take the little skank though... Just sayin....
Edward is such a tease. I really need to quit reading your updates at work, people tend to wonder why I appear flustered.
Author's Response:
Thanks, JesJess. That right there was the best compliment. I read at work too. My trick is I go in and print out the chapters then they think I'm reviewing legal documents. Piece of cake!! Thanks for your review and I'm glad you enjoy my story.
Date: 08 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27
Oh I love what you did to Tanya. That was so flipping awesome. Gives new meaning to the phrase taking the trash out that's for sure. I was so ticked that I fell behind in reading....of all times for work to be busy. On the upside, I have another chapter. Just had to share how much I lovedhow Edward handled Tanya. My hubby asked if I was ok because I actually snickered. I wonder if she got road burn from being dragged.....
Date: 08 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 28: Chapter 28
Bahahaha......Bella and Edward put that little hoouker in her place oh so well. Once again I was unable to hold in the snickers, I believe I may be committed soon - so worth it though. It really was like attack of the skanks though. It figures Jacob freakshow Black is her attorney. This should be great - can't wait for thenext update.
Date: 19 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31
Well hell woman! Although I think Bella may have overreacted just a wee bit, I can understand why she did. I would have done the same thing - of course I am a drama queen. I don't necessarily think Edward still has any feelings for Leah romantically speaking. That said, to Bella it certainly looked that way. I am assuming Edward will be doing some massive grovelling to get Bella to come back. Ugh...the drama!!!!!! I did love the update, even thoughgh I wanted to spread the whoop ass to everyone in the chapter. :)
Author's Response:
Ah, JessJess...Edward loves her. He always has and always will. It's one of those hiccups every relationship suffers. Maybe not quite the same as these two but there isn't a single relationship out there that doesn't have a little something going on in it.
Date: 22 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 32: Chapter 32
Now I may have freaked out just a smidge, but I definitely couldn't give up on this story. I have the utmost faith in you and you said it is going to be short, well the I am sticking around for the reunion dammit. I am glad Edward laid down the law to Leah though. I am not sure who I feel more sorry for at this point - Edward or Bella. I can't wait to read more and find out how it will all work out. Thanks for the Epov - it helped me to not want to kick his ass. :)
Author's Response:
Good Girl! I'm excited with what's coming up.
Date: 29 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 33
I purposely put off reading this update when I saw your note at the top because I wasn't in the frame of mind for angst. That said, it pulled on my heart for both Edward and Bella. Insecurity is a killer. I almost skipped this chapter, but then I reminded myself sometimes you just have to pull up the big girl panties and just do it. Although I hate seeing either in pain, I kept with the faith (now I am gonna go read the next chapter and see if I can't get my reward).
Date: 29 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 34
I never stopped loving ya, but I do breathe a wee bit easier now. So glad I just went for it and read both chapters today.
Date: 03 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 35
Now that is what I call a reunion. As much as I hated to see them in pain, making up is so much fun. The definitely need time to themselves to communicate and continue to make up (of course).
Date: 14 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 47: Chapter 47
I have been faithfully reading all your updates for the past month - sadly my reviewing has sucked because work and rl demanded constant attention. Tanya is seriously 5 fries short of a happy meal. Good lord she is bent in the head. Glad she will be getting what she deserves. I can't wait to see what happens with Jacob because we all know he was involved somehow. I wasn't too surprised Jenks got the boot. He was a crappy little bugger and I am wondering if he was helping dumb and dumber.
The really sad thing about reading this today was it made me think well damn at least I was not kidnapped, I was only rear-ended by someone not paying attention. See, I have perspective ;)
Author's Response:
Thanks for your review JessJess. Sorry it warrented only 2.5 tea cups and I'm worry your car was rearended. RL sucks.
Date: 16 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 48: Chapter 48
I am so glad I was wrong about Jenks -really didn't want everyone to be evil. I would say it is sadto see Tanya has died, but I am not a liar....good riddance to bad rubbish.
I am so not ever trying to do the rating thing ever again......that blew up in a bad way. Lol...I thought I hit 5, so imagine my surprise when I got your response. I have come to the conclusion there are some things too advanced for me to attempt.
Now, how do we get rid of Jacob?
Author's Response:
Jacob? Well, he's a pussy. Nuff said. You will learn about him in the next chapter. Thanks for your review, Jess. :) I understand about the teacup thing. I've been trying to review LovinRob's story for a while now and I keep screwing it up. She is writing A Dry Heat. It's a reeeeeeally good story if you are looking for something new to read.
School teacher Bella sends a care package and letter to Army sergeant Edward, who is stationed in Afghanistan.
They begin a relationship through letters, phone calls, and video chats.
There's love, there's language, and there's adult situations, plus a strong, independent Bella and the Edward we all know and love.
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Friendship, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Finished, My all time favorites, Themslovebug90's read stories, Stories Read by CNYBella, Lilyellacullens want to read list!, My Favorite Stories, Stories I've read, My favs past present and future , Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 176 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 253102 Read Count: 661137
Date: 22 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 34: Edward
Wow. I am in love with your story. I can't believe I waited so long to check it out. The banter between Edward and Bella is great. I was so disappointed when I read the last chapter - I kept trying to force more chapters to appear. It was sad to watch, but it happened. Truly, I am addicted and. I am eagerly awaiting more.
Date: 13 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 82: Chapter 83: Bella
I will have you know I almost broke my phone tryingto make it show me more. Y'all have turned me into a junkie....I just can't get enough. I normally wait for all the updates to come in, but today I couldn't. I think I might be excited as Bella and Edward for this.....sigh.....gonna go stalk my phone now and try to convince it to give me more. ;)
Date: 13 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 83: Chapter 84: Edward
Killing me slowly.....but what a way to die. I came so close to squealling in my office.....that would have been awkward, so yeah.....thanks!
Date: 14 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 87: Chapter 88: Edward
You gals are completely and titally freaking awesome!!!! I am so happy today was a double posting day because I don't think I could have waited - I am not that strong. I am so happy thier surprise went off beautifully. Poor Bella and that nightmare - glad Edward calmed her. At surprising him at the club - wonderful. I could feel the electricity. Just fabulous ladies. :)
Date: 16 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 91: Chapter 92: Edward
You women are absolutely wonderful. This was definitely worth the wait. I love how sweet they are with each other. It really is as if they have been together for years. I have loved watching the story unfold so far and even through all the trying to break my phone to make the story go on (which so doesn't work) I can't wait for more. Thank y'all for this awesome story.
Date: 23 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 111: Chapter 112: Edward
For the love of all that is holy - y'all are going to cause me to spontaneously combust at work. I tried so hard (well not really) to wait until I got home to read the updates.....that never works. Thanks for my yummy Sarge fix. Lord I need a cold shower or 5 now...
It was just a long weekend in Vegas, so how did eighteen year old high school senior Bella Swan end up married to thirty one year old movie exec, Edward Cullen? This is the story of their awkward life.
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Can't wait for an update, To Read (Geddy), Lilyellacullens want to read list!, J's Read and Loved Stories, Stories I've read, My favs past present and future , Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 35 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 118398 Read Count: 324431
Date: 14 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Our Chance Encounter
I'm glad Bella is going to tell Charlotte, she needs someone to confide in. That said, I hope Charlotte won't stab her in the back once she comes clean.
I really need to stop reading your updates at work - thank goodness I had enough sense to wait until no one was around. Bella is a lucky woman.
Date: 24 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - My Confidant
Absolutely loved it. Glad Esme came clean about the setup. Hopefully the stick comes out of Carlisle's butt soon. I get where he is coming from with being skeptical, but I miss sweet Carlisle. Glad Charlotte took the news well and is going to be there for Bella.
Date: 09 Nov 2012 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25 - Our End?
I can't wait to see how you handle Maggie. My hubby and I had our own Maggie when we first married and I know what I wanted to do to her. I feel so bad for Bella - and Edward too. Yeah hr is being a huge ass clown, but the situation is new for him too. I don't blame her for leaving for a few days, sometimes that is what you have to do. I bet her mom will be of help. Kinda hope Edward puts up a fight for her. Unrealistic as it is I would love to see him make a huge public declaration. That might just be the hopeless romantic in me though. Great story, even though sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out.
Bella's an exchange student hoping to find a job to keep herself employed for the summer, so that she can stay on at an exclusive University. Her best job prospect is a part-time housekeeping position with one Mr. Cullen.
Categories: All Human
Characters: None
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: G8or Favor8s Read
Chapters: 25 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 78922 Read Count: 59617
Date: 08 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
The funny thing about ff.net, if they had not had their little meltdown of insanity I might not have found your story. So their idiocy led me to it. Anyway, I really enjoyed the first chapter. Stuffy Edward made me chuckle and I can't wait to read more and find out what makes him tick.
"Have you ever imagined something so beautiful, so enchanting that it must be a dream or a mirage?"
Take a gaggle of small town gossips, the doctor's son, the mysterious new single mom, add in a lucky shot with a BB gun and watch what unfolds.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Drive's Stories to read that are Completed, Amberina's Completed Favs List, To Read (Geddy), G8or Favor8s Read, Lilyellacullens want to read list!, My Favorite Stories, luv2write finished reads
Chapters: 48 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 9986 Read Count: 120089
Date: 19 Jun 2012 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27
Let me start off by saying your story has made my day. This chapter did me in, so much so that I almost spewed my Dr. Pepper all over my computer. I can't wait to go read the rest. Sex advice from the elderly did me in. Thanks for that laugh.
After a betrayal leaves Edward reeling, he decides to change the course of his life. Starting over can be a daunting task. Will he let a certain brown eyed beauty help him find what he's looking for?
Rated NC-17 for adult situations and language *Banner by Falling Stars*
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Drive's Stories to read that are Completed and Not completed, My favs past present and future , Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 20 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 110402 Read Count: 49588
Date: 19 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6
I had to chuckle when Edward made the comparison to kissing his relative. Made me breath a sigh of relief. I was hoping he would have gotten the clue during Jake's speech that Bella wasn't with him - so close. I will continue to have faith because I know the end result will be so worth it. I may end up combusting, but it will still be worth it. :o)
Author's Response:
I'm not going to keep Edward in the dark for too much longer! I do hope Edward's Aunt Charlotte reference has put everyone at ease, too. Thank you for reading! No combusting! :)
Date: 27 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Thank goodness Edward will be getting that clue soon. It is funny how the stars just keep aligning to keep it from him. I am looking forward to his reaction. I am glad Bella opened up about her sister - I think it helped Edward a bit. I can't wait to see what Edward finally does once the Jacob (non) issue is taken care of. I enjoyed the update - gave me a much needed warm and fuzzy feeling. :)
Author's Response:
Yeah, I think most ppl in the fandom needed some warm fuzzies! I'm glad you liked it, and hope the next chapter will be worth the wait. Thanks so much for reading/reviewing! I appreciate both so much :)
Date: 01 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Thank goodness you put the poor man out of his misery. I would have paid good money to see his face once the lightbulb came on. I did give a few extremely ladylike (that's my story anyway) snorts once the big reveal occurred. Now Edward can finally make his move guilt free. ;)
Author's Response:
Oh, I'm glad it made you laugh! Thanks so much for reading :)
.jpg "stories/6405/images/WildChild(TWCS).jpg")
Just months away from inheriting a fortune and the family business, 17 year old orphan, Bella, is out of control – a wild child with a platinum card and a killer bod. Can Edward, as her legal guardian and CEO of Swan Publishing, rein her in and prevent her from ruining everything he’s worked for? AH. Rated M for a reason.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Drive's Stories to read that are Completed, G8or Favor8s Read, Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiHu, Stories I've Already read, Lilyellacullens want to read list!
Chapters: 39 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 212285 Read Count: 153181
Date: 19 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Tanya is such a skanky shrew! I am hoping Edward will wake up soon and toss her aside like the trash she is. Wow, that sounded harsh, but I just hate seeing Bella and Edward suffer - even if it is Edward's own doing. It was like he was so close to getting rid of her and then nada. I am curious how long he will be able to resist Bella. It is pretty obvious (well to everyone except Edward) how he feels for her. You know he has it bad when the wicked witch of the west picks up on it and feels threatened. Someone needs to by poor Edward a clue and soon before we all combust.
Thanks for the wonderful update - it was just what I need first thing this morning. :)
Author's Response:
I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. And I don't think it's harsh to want Skankya to get the old heave-ho - which will be soon BTW. Next chapter will be up in a few hours.
Thanks so much for reviewing, it really is much appreciated.
Liz
Date: 22 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Poor little delusional Tanya. I think it is hilarious that Edward seems to have forgotten all about skankanya upstairs waiting for him. I swear Bella and Edward are going to make me combust. I also loved the hint of jealousy Edward felt watching Bella and Tyler interact - the poor man has it so bad. Once Bella realizesthe effect she has he is gonna be screwed. I loved it.
Author's Response:
Yes, they do rather seem to have forgotten all about the bed-bug upstairs - but will be reminded very soon indeed!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Liz
Date: 29 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9
I would say I feel horrible for Tanya, but my momma always told me it is wrong to lie.....I say good riddance to bad rubbish. She really is a piece of work....literally.....
I wanted to smack Edward upside the head for being a stubborn jackass, but then I realized he just needs time to remove his head from his ass. He really is clueless sometimes...men.....sigh..... I can't wait to see how long it takes him to fall for Bella and just to hell with it all and just go for what they both obviously want. Ah the joys of being an observer..... thanks for the wonderful update. :)
Date: 30 Jul 2012 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Poor Edward, she really get him all messed up doesn't she?! I am glad Edward is making an effort with Bella - trying to include her in the business and spending time together. I like how they interact with one another...now all they need is a little push.
Date: 02 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11
Wow....I flipping love Rose and Em. They were such a great addition - loved how they all just clicked so well together. I can't wait to see Edward and Bella get closer. They are so obvious to everyone bit each other. Thanks for making me smile today - loved the update.
Date: 15 Aug 2012 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16
Dear sweet baby Jesus - I would have to kill her....just flat out shoot her or inject her with a tracking device that gives her ass one hell of a shock when she does crap like this. Please tell me Edward gets to her in time....better yet, please tell me she outgrows being this childish soon......good lord.....I was feeling so bad for her last chapter and ready to boil Edward's balls.....now.....just wow. Ok, I am gonna c calm myself know.....whew.....
By the way, completely awesome update......even if I think you are trying go kill me. :)
Date: 12 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24
I was so proud of tough Bella. Edward is being such an ass I just want to have a go at him myself. Of course I do have the luck of getting the insight of both so maybe I shouldn't be too harsh. Nah, I say kick his ass, make him regret ever speaking his worries. You know what I really like about your story though....it makes me forget that my RL is doing a tailspin these days. I enjoy the escape, no matter how desperately I wish to bean them upside the head.
Date: 16 Sep 2012 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25
I would so kick his fudging ass til the cows came home. What a fricking prick. I almost don't care what his feelings are - now i just want fuckward to hurt. Damn you got me all riled up. Seriously though, when is he going to pull that king size stick out of his ass? If he isn't careful he will blow it and never get her back. I hope his dick chaffs and won't work fir him anymore (at least until his moron self buys a clue, then it can work). Idiot man.
Huh.....I feel better. Seriously though, poor Bella.i think she needs to have someone kick his ass.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. But, what happens when life throws you a bad-boy biker, an uptight neighbor, and a couple of kids? You cross your fingers and hope for the best! AH-Rated 'M'.
Beta: Sunflower Fanfiction
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 89 Read Count: 13545
Date: 04 Aug 2012 Title: Saving You, Saving Me
Oh my God Masen is hilarious!!!! I laughed so hard I was crying - my poor 7 year old actually asked if I was ok once I let out a rather loud and extremely unladylike snort. Between toots and red bras....yeah....just awesome. I had to laugh at Edward because that is sooooo my husband. So thanks for giving me the best freaking laugh I had all day.
Spending summer vacation traveling with the St. Louis Cardinals isn’t every teen girls idea of fun. What happens when the teen daughter of the team doc falls for one of the players? Can they find love or will life get in the way? AH/Cannon and Non-Cannon Pairings/Rated NC-17
Wonderful Banner made by: Stephenie Masen
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: To Read (Geddy), Lady Luciole's Favorites TwiHu, Stories I've Already read, Lilyellacullens want to read list!
Chapters: 28 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 115192 Read Count: 87332
Date: 30 Jan 2013 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22
I feel so violent right now. Ijust wantto beat the ever loving crap out of Alice - walk away and then come back and beat her sorry arse some more. She needs a good ass whipping. And Edward? I just want to kick him nice and hard square in the balls right now.seriously?! Taking Alice's side. Oh he needs to grovel.....and get his head outof his butt. I mean damn, how blind can you be? Alice is the whore (and well many other things). Can't tell I am annoyed can you....
what can I say, the story brings out emotions in me. Poor Bella. I really hope Edward can pull his head outof his butt before he loses her. Please ease mymind and tell me he gets it together before he loses it all. And please tell me some one beats the crap out of Alice....soon....
(:
Author's Response:
Wow the response to this chapter has been amazing, over 150 of you thus far have spoken out about chapter 22. First let us say ... THANK YOU for reading and reviewing. The fact alone that we have been able to instill so much emotion in our readers for the characters within this story makes us so pleased, that alone tells me the story has the back bone we wanted it to have. So, on behalf of Jess and I, THANK YOU for caring and showing us that you care.
Now we warned you that Edward would not be a favorite after this chapter, and Alice well we all already hated her. Alice has taken a presence in the story and stronger one than we first intended, however I think her presence helps show how much Bella is growing. Alice is still stuck in that kiddie stage, where Bella is showing that she is learning as she grows. If you remember, Bella has made lots of mistakes and acted out too, but in this chapter she showed not only that she is growing, but that she is and can be responsible and dependable. Many of you believe that Bella is pregnant, but she is not.
The next chapter is in Edward’s POV and we hope that you will all be able let your anger for him and his actions go by the end of it. Edward has a lot to say and some of the things he thinks about and even discusses will give a little new light regarding his seemingly blatant disregard of Bella over Alice. Edward never completely said anything in chapter 22, so chapter 23 is going to be his outlet chapter.
As for Esme, she has seen through Alice’s shit, and I think right now for her you will find in coming chapters she is trying to do what is right by Alice. Gary has made Alice come back to St. Louis and work for the company, because he is trying to get her under control. It wasn’t pre-planned for Edward to take her back to St. Louis, and you will learn more of why he did it soon.
Well I think this answers most of your questions, if you have more and or want to chat about this more, you can find us on Facebook under two different groups: Jess2002 FanFiction or TeamAllTwilight & AndTAT Fan Fiction. See you all Wednesday with another chapter, Jess & Kasi~
TEASER:
“I know, Esme told me what all has been going on.”
“You talked to Es?”
“Yeah, she calls me every day. How was Landon tonight, his mouth still sore?”
“Yeah the poor kid is cutting at least two maybe even four teeth at once. He is very cranky, but he was all smiles earlier. I think he may like his Uncle Edward.”
“Oh you think that do you?” Bella asks with a smile, and it is sadly the first totally genuine one I’ve seen on her face since before I left Forks. “I think he likes his Aun ... sister Bella better.”
“Oh you do—do you?” I ask noticing how she started to say Aunt, but changed it to sister.
“Yep,” she says popping the p.
“Well I guess he will have to like you twice as much, after all it isn’t often anyone can claim that their sister, is also their Aunt. Keep in mind, though, that he may claim the right in the future to get two gifts from you for every holiday or event—one from his sister Bella, and one from his Aunt Bella.”
“I doubt that he will ever be that greedy and self-absorbed,” she says and her smile falls.
Date: 06 Feb 2013 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23
Don't get me wrong, I am so happy and overjoyed that Edward finally bought himself a clue, but I still think he needs to grovel. I mean does he even comprehend how horrible he made Bella feel? And Alice's dad....seriously....the man must have gotten hit by every single branch of the stupid tree as hr fell from the top. I loved how he tried to make it bella's doing at first. I mean I get that Alice is his child, but take off the rose colored glasses. I was happy to see him clue in there at the end, even if it was through snooping.
Oh, and that is another thing...Edward going through emails and texts, that is so gonna bite him in the arse. I hope he truly wants to make it up to Bella because she deserves so much mote than Edward has been giving her. He needs to somehow see what his foolishness can cost him. I get loving your family and always being there, but as someone speaking from experience, sometimes you need to cut them loose for a bit.
Anyway, loved the update as usual, please make Edward sincere this time.
Author's Response:
Well hopefully after the next chapter things will be smoother for you all. Edward is still very much hated by the majority and I don’t know how to alleviate any of that hatred without giving away any of the story. Things in the story do cycle fast from here and there are only a total of 27 chapters in this story as a whole. So basically there will be a whole lot of info in the next few chapters. There will be some time skips because some things we would rather not dwell on and make each person suffer through. I know that a lot of you are mad, and we hope that we can make things better for you. Thanks for reading and reviewing. We do love hearing your thoughts. Jess & Kasi~
Teaser:
“I know, I know, Baby,” he says rubbing his hand down the back of my head. “She thinks that you are out to get her in some way. When all the bull happened with Jasper and you and I moved on, she hated it. She wants what we have—with Jasper. When he rejected her, she just went on a downward spiral. Her journal was filled with horrible hateful words. I don’t understand it. I hate that you are the one she is attacking, but I have high hopes that she will get better.”
“I hope she does. I’m just gonna let her be until she comes to me,” I tell him as he nods.
“I agree. I think if we all just give her space, but let her know that we are there for her, she will get better. I don’t think she will ever be a mother to Landon, but I hope one day she can be part of his life. Like I said before, I will always be there for her, but I will do my best not to get fully sucked in and ignore you,” he said with a smile.
“Part of me knew you weren’t ignoring me on purpose. I was just being a brat, I guess. I wanted you and I felt like I was losing you. Everything was all, Alice, Alice, Alice, and I got to the point of—who cares. I know that’s a shitty thing to say, but that was how I felt. I didn’t think about your family history and I felt like she was causing her own problems. I’m sorry for the way I acted,” I say letting out a big breath.
“I’m sorry too. This is the stuff we need to talk out, not fight out,” he says as I giggle. I couldn’t agree more. “So, where do we go from here?”
“Wherever we go, we go together. Since the topic has already been brought up I want to talk to you about something that has been on my mind.”
BANNER BY: DEEBELLE1 (isn't she awesome?)
Edward is a twenty-seven year old Biology teacher at Forks High School. He is responsible for teaching Sex-Ed and sharing information on the prevention of STDs, STIs, and pregnancy. What happens when Mr. Cullen doesn't practice what he preaches? When one of his star students figures out his problem, will she make his life a living hell? See what funny things unfold in this laughter filled disaster! AH/Rated M
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 6359 Read Count: 3522
Date: 01 Aug 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Oh that was hilarious. I turned about 5 shades of red trying not to laugh. Thanks for making my night.
Detective Cullen has been married to his job for a very long time, and he doesn’t ever plan to change. Bella Swan the overweight girl who gets used and tossed aside is his favorite waitress. Can they make more out of this than friendship with benefits, or will she send him away when she decides she wants more?
(The use of the word steaks vs. stakes is a play on words - just FYI)
Banner by: Deebelle OneFic.
Categories: Canon Pairings, Twilight, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort,, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: My favs past present and future
Chapters: 26 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 38822 Read Count: 159748
Date: 09 Mar 2014 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19
I wondered what happened to your story on ffn. Thank goodness you update it here too. Well thank goodness Edward pulled his head out of his butt. I felt bad for him but I also wanted to kick his butt for being so blind.
I loved how he rushed in there and stayed by her side. Even better was how he figured out that he loves her and the baby. Can't wait for more.
Date: 10 Mar 2014 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20
I think that Edward is sweet as all get out. Yeah he was kind of a tool for a moment or 2, but I chalk that up to him being scared. He is making up for it and is truly happy with how everything.....I love it. I wasn't surprised Bella believed Edward - they have never lied to each other.
Seriously can't wait until they catch Ben and his accomplice.
Humans make war on a marathon scale that can last for years, decades even. I wasn't prepared for vampire war. I never realized how fast everything could change. He's gone. All I wanted was to have him forever. Now all I have are memories that won't fade, and I can't even cry for him. Someone please make it stop!
Categories: Twilight, Non-Canon Pairings
Characters: Bella/Carlisle
Genre: Drama
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 51 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 246483 Read Count: 20618
Date: 25 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23 Distractions
Sometimes I think you can read my mind. I was curious on who you pictured as Aro. I much prefer Michael Sheen without the long hair....so, ok, now I know how to picture him in my head. I swear I feel like such a fickle person when I read. There is a teeny tiny part of me that kept thinking it wouldn't be so bad for him to succeed in seducing Bella. Then I felt guilty like I was cheating on Carlisle. I laughed at myself. I felt much better knowing why Carlisle left so suddenly and why he took Colette with him. Makes me like him better....see....fickle.
I personally like how you mix it up. Now don't get me wrong, sometimes I like to read pure angst/drama free fluff. I like it...a lot. But I also like the real. I like layers in my stories. I like that even the "villains" have good qualities. I mean Aro is so complex. I feel like there are always new things to learn about him. The same with Carlisle....so many layers, so many things that drive him. I seriously want to see him kick Aro's butt for what he is trying to do. I want to see him flat out make a huge display of his feelings for Bella so no one doubts how he feels. But even more, I like the journey to that possibility (if that makes sense).
Alice is awesome. I chuckled at her reaction when she saw Bella. I mean I wanted to pop her in the forehead for putting Bella in the situation, but I can see why she did. Plus, it gives yummy persistent Aro. See, fickle.
I really do like where this is going. I stalk my inbox waiting for the next update. Makes me feel like a stalker actually. Last time I got this happy was with Harry Potter. My poor hubby would go get me the books at midnight and then patiently sit by while I devoured them in one sitting. So yeah, that is saying something. Seriously though, thanks for feeding my love of a good story. I would so add the little rating thingy, but I screwed up that last time. I felt so bad and haven't tried since.
Author's Response:
I've had fun looking up some of the lesser Twilight character actors, and I'm always surprised to see how much better they look outside the movies--go figure. Michael Sheen might be older, but he's pretty cute with those curls, and his irrepressible grin. I did mention in the story that he'd cut his hair, and ditched the Volturi costume, but it's hard to reconcile the image from the movies with the more current look. Hmm....I could almost imagine Alice having something to do with his new look.
I still have trouble picturing Carlisle as Fascinelli, since he was cast so much older than 26. Young Robert Redford comes to mind, but he's usually so tan, I can't imagine him vampire pale. My casting director is still sort of looking for him, but I can see him in my mind when I write him. Carlisle again put his patients first, and this time it almost cost him his chances with Bella. I don't like writing characters who have it all figured out and never make mistakes. Carlisle didn't think he was being rotten to Bella, when he told her it couldn't go any further. He thought he was allowing her to backslide into her grief, which is what he thought she wanted. He also reassured her she would always be welcomed as part of the family. When she broke down and cried, he assumed most of that was more grief, and reacting to Alice's attack. He just decided he didn't want to be caught up in her pain. He didn't realize she was crying over him.
Pure fluff is hard for me to read. Even when I love the characters, I don't like easy storys withough some drama. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when it doesn't, I feel like it should have. I've also noticed when the stories are too fluffy, the writer puts in contrived situations to move the plot. The Big Misunderstanding, or the Deep Dark Secret from the Past, for example. I had lots of fun writing this story, and the twists and turns were so much fun. Originally, I'm sure I had lots of cliffhangers, but in reorganizing and editing, I'm letting a lot of them go, for more uniform chapters.
I love good villains! The evil, mustache-twirling fiend who wants to take over the world, makes me yawn. I love it when they've got their own motivations, and they're not just out to cause mischief. I especially love it when they've got redeeming qualities, and something that makes the audience identify with them. Loki from the new Thor movies comes to mind. Part evil deity, and part hurt little boy, I really like him. The cute actor didn't hurt either. I also loved Snape, even before he was redeemed. Maybe I just thought Alan Rickman was sexy in his outfit, but I sort of forgave him, when I learned that he hated Harry because of things his father had done to him.
There is a lot more to Aro than what I put in this story. It was hard to resist adding in some of his secrets. I've pulled up his outtake, and I might finish it and add it here. I've got so many stories on my task bar, I'm often torn which one to write. I'm writing an original novel, a new fan fic about Jasper, a detailed outtake for one I've finished, the last chapter in my Leah story, and now that Aro outtake. All this along with editing CFH and having a chapter every other day.
Alice is such a complicated character. In two of my stories, I've written her with Aro. I really think they would be a great compliment to one another--if Aro isn't cast as the old creep. In one, Alice abandoned Jasper and went to Aro, because she was having visions of the vampire End of Days. It was in an epilogue to a long story, and I had a character who came in to fill the hole in Jasper's life. She hated that Jasper never quite got over his lost love. Alice has so much that was never written, so when I wrote my one-shot about her, I had to find a way to reconcile the bubbly, seemingly shallow, party girl, with the precog who was institutionalized, and can't remember her family. It's pretty dark, if you want to check it out here.
Thank you so much for the gushing reviews. It warms my heart to see someone 'gets it.' I know I gushed to my poor daughter as I wrote it, and I had to cackle over every twist and turn.
Date: 21 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21 Heart of Volturi
Ah the downside of a silent mind....all the men with telepathic minds seek you out. I am probably way out in left field, and feel free to set me straight, but does Aro seem to switch his feelings from one woman to another quite quickly? It almost seems as if he was waiting for Bella so he could make his offer. I mean one second he talks about how he loves Alice and in the next minute he is almost begging Bella to give in to him. Am I just reading into it or am I close (I won't be mad if I am in left field). It just struck me is all. I am curious for Bella's response to Aro's suggestion. Is she going to sacrifice herself or tell him where to go......I can't wait to see.
Now I love Carlisle, but he was an ass and I am glad Bella asked for more time. I think everyone reacted poorly, but good grief it was a tension filled room.
I am also glad to see Bella and Alice working together. A lot of harsh things were said, but they are making an effort.
Glad you are back too. I had so many more thoughts and questions running through my head, but sadly the allergy meds are begging me to sleep.
Author's Response:
Aro's feelings are complicated. He does love Alice, but she's out of reach now. He sees a lot of potential in Bella, and he thinks he could forget Alice if he had her. Considering they had Chelsea to form the bonds in the Volturi, and he didn't really love his wife, he doesn't see love as necessary to making a good match. It also comes from his age, since he was born at a time when women had little or no value. He actually keeps his emotions out of most of his interactions. Everything with Aro is about power and getting ahead. Bella as a mate gives him access to Alice, breaks up the Cullen stronghold, gives him revenge against Carlisle, gets him a great mother for his children, gives him a foothold in America, gains him respect among the hybrids, and gets Cipriana off his back. Add to that her silent mind, and her beauty, and she's a better choice than Alice, even if he doesn't love her. He also believes he could fall in love with her over time, and he would become intimate with her even without love.
Carlisle made a mistake, and he realized it too late. He doesn't have the experience to know how to deal with someone who isn't Esme. He's afraid of being second best to Edward's memory. He has to learn that Bella isn't Esme or Gabriella, and he has to take her on her own terms. Bella also has to learn that Carlisle isn't going to react the same way Edward would.
Alice and Bella are best friends at heart, and they can't help but forgive one another. Here, their friendship actually worked against them, because they expected the impossible from their best friend. Alice expected Bella to save Esme, and Bella expected Alice to tell her everything, and never allow Edward to risk his life. Their friendship made the outcome of the war feel more like a betrayal. They had to confront one another, so they could realize what friendship really means. Real friends are honest, and they forgive.
Hope the allergies leave you alone. I'm lucky Benedryl usually works for me, and I don't need anything stronger.
Date: 23 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22 Mind Games
Do you know what I love the most about your story? You take me from amused to what the fudge in less than sixty seconds. Seriously. Aro is like a crazed crack head. I didn't know whether to be amused, concerned or impressed. He is smooth...very smooth. I see what he is doing and he is good. I am just glad Bella isn't as naive as she used to be. If she was that same young girl he would have had her as his rook rather quickly.
I love his kids. It is so trippy to know they resemble teenagers but are not in fact that old. I freaking loved Armando's reaction when he realized who Bella is....I seriously laughed out loud at him. Their entire conversation made me smile and laugh, regardless of the topic. I liked their banter and I am glad Bella will be helping him with his gift.
Aurora was different too. Her gift is crazy too. I can't imagine having to deal with all she does. It was easier seeing her as the child she really is in the way she interacted and communicated. Wanting to keep Bella and hoping Bella would fall in love with her father....It was so innocent, just like a child. I know you wrote it as Aro was embarrassingly surprised, but it seems like he could have staged that reaction as a means to get Bella.
I admit I am quite curious to see how Aro plans to woo Bella because I have no doubt his plans aren't changing. I am intrigued by Aro. I mean does he really think it will work? Does he want it to work? He is a smooth one....he already has her bonding with his children. He knew she would. I am so torn on if I would want it to work. I want Carlisle to have to work for her...fight for her....and like I said, Aro fascinates me. Ugh woman....you are going to make me nuts!!!!! (;
I am feeling better. My hubby laughs at me because I have zero med tolerance. 10 minutes after I take something and I get loopy. I just let it get to the point where I absolutely had to take something. I was rendered useless a few minutes later. I try not to leave trippy reviews...
Author's Response:
I do love to get these long reviews. I even like the loopy ones.
There are a lot of twists and turns in this story. As I wrote it, I learned that the readers don't really want what they say they want. If all the problems resolve, and the characters behave the way we wish they would, then there's no story. The hardest part is to give the story room to happen, and hope readers are patient enough to stick it out.
Aro is so much fun to write. I liked him so much, I wrote an outtake for him, just to explain his motivations. Bella isn't naive, but Aro is devious. He's not exactly a bad guy, but he's been around for a long time, and he's seen it all. He loves his kids, but he doesn't really know how to be a father. He sheltered Aurora, and had Joham convinced she was damaged, and had no power. That kind of risk could have gotten him killed. He tried to shelter the other two, but couldn't.
All three kids have issues. Arianna was sexually abused to the point it became normal. Armando believes his father hates him, because Aro is afraid he's just like his drug-addicted mother. Aurora is a gentle soul, but she has a power that's almost impossible to live with. Add to that they're equivalent to teenagers, and have no mothers, and it gets real messy, real fast.
Aro has many reasons to want Bella, and emotional attachment doesn't play into it. He's used to getting what he wants. His children are a powerful lure for her, but he's got an ace or two up his sleeves. If Carlisle wasn't in the picture, it could work with Bella and Aro, except for one little detail: He's a murderer. Bella's never killed, and probably never will, and Aro doesn't intend to change. Stregoni Benefici has never taken a human life, and that means something. There's still a lot of story ahead.
I don't tolerate some meds very well either. Some cold medicines will send me to bed, just so I don't fall down. Fortunately my little pink benedryl tablets don't zonk me out.
Date: 24 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 Colette
Every once in awhile I get stunned. I mean stunned speechless and dumb. Listening to Colette talking about what Joham's plans were....one of those times. I literally felt sick like Bella did. I mean who does that crap?! Joham obviously, but damn. It's a good thing he is already dead that's all I can say. It explains Colette a bit better. She really is a naive little girl about so many things.
I will admit I am curious about Alice and Jasper now. I can understand Alice would be different now though. Seeing all of that devastation and all those plans...yeah, can't see anyone staying perky and bubbly.
I like that Bella keeps getting stronger emotionally. Your Bella is so much better than the book Bella. I was never big on the books...I just wanted to know how it ended (that always makes my hubby laugh). I prefer watching others bend and mold the characters. I'll keep saying this....I freaking love what you continue to do with them. None of them are weak and I love that.
Author's Response:
Ha, just had to answer this one today. Colette's story is even more chilling than what she shared. Joham was a monster.
Alice has had a rough few years. Edward was the one who helped her with her visions when they were too hard to handle. Jasper has been doing his best to help her, but she saw a lot more than most of them realize.
Thank you for appreciating "my" Bella. I wasn't a big fan of the books either. I read the first, because my daughter read it, and they were so popular with the kids. Then I had to read the others, just to find out what happened! I normally woulldn't feel so driven to read all four, but Meyer thinks and writes so different from what I could imagine; I really couldn't guess how they would end. My idea of normal and acceptable weren't even in the same universe as hers.
Part of the reason I write fan fiction for the series, is because I need to "fix" it. I can't stand how passive Bella was, and how she fell in love with Edward because of his looks, and because he was unique. That whole love at first sight thing, really bothers me. In my writing, I try to put in more connections, more reasons, and make the implausible sound reasonable. The very things Meyer loved about the story, are the things I find most irritating. She envisioned a sparkling vampire holding hands with his human girlfriend. I hated the sparkle! I do all I can to minimize it. I also hate that she has written the toughest vampires in fiction. The only thing they're vulnerable to are broken hearts? No. I've worked to give them weaknesses, and make them closer to their fictional cousins who could be destroyed by humans.
I shouldn't be so critical, but these are the only books I've read that were better as movies. The screenwriters got it. They put action in place of angst, and Pattinson said so much with his brooding stare. Most fan fiction writers base their stories on the movies rather than the books. I've even been told I got Nessie's eye color wrong. I still haven't seen the Breaking Dawn movies. I did look up the war scene on youtube, and I was surprised at how similar it was to mine. Mine didn't hae flying vampires, but the speed and destruction were similar. I wrote mine before BD came out.
Thanks so much for your detailed reviews. I'll probably post again in two days.
Date: 20 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 34 Secret Rendezvous
I know Sabrina maybe seems horrible for walking away, but I kind of think it's better she walked away before Janna got further invested. I imagine Janna will be just fine.
You know what almost did kill me? Edward's letter to Bella. Holy Batman! That letter was so emotional it actually made me cry. It was beautiful and sad...and just....yeah. I'm not embarrassed to admit I cried. I don't think I could have been that brave. I can talk the talk, but..that was just tough. And telling her it was ok to move on....you seriously killed me there. All tears and sadness aside though, Bella made me proud. Every chapter she grows and learns and heals. It is nice to watch.
Carlisle...can he get any better? Adorable isn't the word I really want, but it works for now. His enthusiasm to marry Bella right then and there and the way he did it was absolutely perfect. I think it meant more, at least my reading of it did. It was a ceremony for just the 2 of them....like it should be and I loved it.
So the honeymoon. Well honeymoon suite. Oh there is so much I could say there. I liked seeing Carlisle really let go like that. I mean the man broke a bed. His joke about that....totally made me crack up blaming in the age of the bed. His comments at the end though, totally made my heart melt. I so frolicking heart Carlisle.
So, I am 3 chapters behind. I feel like such a slacker. School started again here and wow it has been nuts already. My kids do virtual school, so it is really interactive for my daughter. On the upside, I am learning so much I had forgotten. My goal is to get caught up reading tonight....I hope....
Author's Response:
Janna and Sabrina were still pretty new as couples go. She's just a human girl, and she was already worried about being with someone supernatural.
Edward's letter got to almost everyone. I still read it and tear up. Knowing what was coming was hard for him to handle, and he really wanted to deny it. But he couldn't just pretend he was leaving them behind. I've seen letters to loved ones written by people who know they're dying, and they kill me. Randy Pausch's Last Lecture was a great inspiration for Edward's letter.
Bella is blossoming. I really like the way Carlisle keeps telling her she can handle things. He doesn't try to protect her, but supports her and encourages her. When she thinks she can't go further, and deal with one more thing, he shows her she can.
I still haven't got a real image of Carlisle in my mind. I know he's not Fascinelli, unless it's a young version. But he's definitely in my mind's eye, and he's probably too good to be real. The wedding ceremony between the two of them, sounds like something he would like. He's seen Alice and Rosalie go through wedding after wedding, until it probably meant little to him. They can't really do it legally, so the faith aspect matters most to him. It's the commitment, not the ceremony.
The honeymoon night was more up Bella's alley. It's very different from her first with Edward. She needed it to be different. I loved that they both got what they wanted here. She gives him permission to be himself, and he takes her as she is. I always worry about writing "lemons," especially with a mature audience. Cliche's and euphemisms bother me, and I'm not good at fade to black. I just close my eyes when I write the naughty bits.
You're caught up now. I get how school can throw a wrench into your schedule. My baby girl started college classes this week. If I was a salmon, I'd be looking for a place to give up the ghost. Virtual school sounds like ... a lot of work! I think I had a nephew who did that, and it takes being just as regimented as regular school. I'm really surprised at how much you can learn online, even if you're not taking classes. I think MIT offers a program where you can get an education just like a student. It's online and it's free, but there's no degree. My daughter found a good calculus program that helped her get through the class. I myself would be lost without all the tools at my fingertips, like google, grammar girl, and an online thesaurus.
Date: 20 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 36: Chapter 36 Duel
My. Mind. Is. Completely. Blown.
You have severely diminished my ability to think. This is why I love you....I so did not see this coming. I mean at all. I am just sitting here going what the Hades just happened. Aro is a sick twisted piece of crap. I wanted to say worse....I want to say worse....and in my head I am screaming words and phrases that would have sailors blushing for weeks.
I want to tear Aro to pieces right now and light him on fire myself. I mean I know what he wants to gain, but at the same time it's like...what does he really expect to gain.
Holy crap!!!!! Poor Carlisle.....poor Bella. Well I am fully alert now. I mean at the beginning I just felt he was a bit of a coward for using his second. Smart too by doing that. But when he agreed to fighting Carlisle...well....then I wondered if that wasn't the one he wanted to fight to begin with. And a bondage claim.....good grief...again...Mind. Blown.
I'm gonna go cry now. (:
Author's Response:
What does it say about me, that I read these shocked reviews, and giggle like a nut? I love being able to shock readers. I really love reading stories where the writer pulls off some major surprise. "I am your father, Luke." I don't like watching trailers for that reason; I love the surprise twists.
This one was made especially hard by my husband, who asked the innocent question: "Why would they let him heal?" He blew my plan right out of the water. No healed Carlisle coming to Bella's rescue. What happens is so much better, in my opinion. Aro is sick and twisted, no doubt. He knows how to win and how to get what he wants. But he hasn't yet realized how much stronger Bella is.
It was a calculated risk, having Reese fight in his place. If he wins, he can say Jasper wasn't enough of a challenge, and if he loses, he gets to step in and finish it. He gets to sit on the dais and keep his hands clean, and be seen as the leader. He really doesn't care about the duel, what he's concerned with, is gauging the crowd, and making sure his image is protected. At this point, he doesn't even care about leaving the future open, where he and Alice can be together. He really has chosen Bella to focus on. She's a powerful shield, she's still single as far as he knows, she would raise his kids, she would bridge the gap between the past and present, she has ties to the rest of the supernatural world, she's enticing physically, and he can't read her mind.
His fight with Carlisle was the real deal. He would have skewered him right away if it wouldn't have made him look bad. Carlisle's defensive tactics won the crowd over, and that drove Aro the hardest. Carlisle made a mistake in getting close enough to talk. He keeps expecting people to behave the way he does, and he didn't expect Aro to attack him during a negotiation.
Aro might have used blackmail to get what he wanted from Bella, but the bondage claim was so much more rotten, and killed a lot of birds with one stone. He took out the new power structure along with all of her rescuers.
Date: 20 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 35 Interruptions
I figured out why I can kind of relate to Bella. I am a second wife myself. In the beginning you kind of worry you won't compare because there is history. My husband once said the same words to me that Carlisle said this chapter to Bella. It is downright spooky how I sometimes see my buddy's past reflected in Carlisle's. There is enough different to know it isn't him, but it makes me smile nonetheless when I read something so spot on.
I like that they communicate as well as they do. I seriously love how they can be serious and the crack each other up with their playfulness. It is a refreshing break from the drama. I was grinning like a nut. Thankfully I read when no one is watching or people would worry about me.
The revelations about the hybrids threw me a little too. Well, threw me a lot. I like how even when you introduce new information you tie it into things we already know. Like with the mind altering possibility that happened with Gemmma. I am so intrigued to discover more.
Jasper Jasper Jasper. I really hope he kicks Aro's arse. Aro is too confident and he really could stand to be knocked down a peg....or 20. Interesting that Arianna gave away a little information to Janna. I guess partly because on some level she feels like she owes them....maybe....or could it be she wants to see daddy's bad attitude cut down a bit?! I can't wait to see how this plays out. I mean even if Aro wins he loses....I can't imagine Alice wanting him any longer....at least I hope she learned better.
Author's Response:
Carlisle is old enough he know's what's most important. Bella worries about being compared to Esme, because she knew her. Carlisle doesn't even bother with comparisons, he just knows who he loves, and the rest doesn't matter.
I read a story by another author, one she later reworked and published, and I loved the way her characters talked to each other. It showed me how much better stories are, when romantic interersts just talk. No need for the silent treatment, shyness, insecurity, or misunderstanding to keep them from communicating; talking is just sexier. Teasing and playing are so much a part of being close, i don't know how not to write it. When two people can relax enough to play around in bed, it's a whole different kind of intimacy. It's warm, loving, and accepting in a way you don't see with just the sex.
There's so much that happened those ten years in Volterra, it may never all be discovered. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Everyone wants to see Jasper kick aro's behind. Arianna didn't realize it might be a secret that Aro was using a spear. Sometimes they're just kids, and kids talk. Aro has so many plans upon plans, and everything has to be measured for the best possible outcome.
Date: 15 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 48: Chapter 48 Emergency Call
Rosalie is amazing!!! I really think it made all the difference having her stick up for Bella like she did against Nessie. I was fist bumping thin air as I read her laying into Nessie. I mean I understand she has a lot going on, but good grief I wanted to yell at her to grow up. Carlisle made me proud too. I liked how he jumped right in there and told her enough is enough. I was so proud of all of them. Even Nessie. Let me tell ya, I was ready to tear and feather her, but I kept reading and although she was acting like a child in need of a good butt whooping, she is still trying to deal with losing her dad, and even her mom, because Bella isn't the same. I really do think Nessie needed to hear what Bella sacrificed for her, not to make her feel bad, but to make her understand she was being unfair.
Ok, I am going to forgive you shredding my Colette dislike cause you made Leah imprint on Janna. I snorted...loudly...my hubby thought I hurt myself. The fact Leah imprinted on what she sees as the enemy was just so ironic. I hope they can work it out. I always felt she was justified in her bitterness. I mean she got dealt a crap hand, she was the walking PSA for why non-imprinted wolves should avoid relationships. No, my snort was reserved for the irony.
I like how you are wrapping everything up. This has been a crazy ride and I like seeing how it is all working out. (:
Author's Response:
Rosalie and Bella have become close. Not only that, but she thinks of Nessie as her daughter, and she's not happy watching her behave like a brat. Carlisle wanted to give her time, but what started out as a minor aversion was turning into a major issue. She wasn't dealing with it, she was just expecting them to pretend around her. Everything was wrapped up in losing Edward. If she accepts Carlisle and Bella, it's like admitting that he's never coming back, and she wasn't ready to do that. Rosalie just told her the truth.
Leah got a raw deal, and my first fan fiction was one where i was driven to give her a happily ever after. She's justified in her negative attitude, but it's always directed in the wrong direction. Leah is a fun character, and I've written her several different ways in my stories. But this one was really fun. Seeing her imprint on a tiny little half-vampire, makes her more like Jacob than she realized; he too fell for one of Bella's daughters.
It's almost over, (sniff) and then I'll have to figure what to post next, and finish my original novel.
Date: 11 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 Shadows of Memory
Holy. Cow. That was amazing. I clicked on your story not sure what to expect. I was blown away. You actually made it to where I could feel Bella's pain. I am so addicted to your story and I can't wait for more. It is beautiful and sad all at the same time.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review. This story won't stay mired in grief and angst, but it doesn't magically go away either. It takes baby steps and a willing spirit, to overcome a tragedy of this magnitude. I'm not sure what my update schedule will looklike, but except for some tweaking and editing, it's finished on my computer. Thanks again!
Date: 12 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 First Steps
I have to give you credit where credit is due, you write grief beautifully. You get it just right....equal parts sad but still you put joy in there too. While I look forward to Bella healing, I would be surprised if she was just over it. The way she and Edward loved each other...yeah, that takes time. I am happy she is bonding with Carlisle. I loved how they made new memories on Isle Esme. It was nice to see them interact as friends rather than father/daughter...it just made more sense your way and I enjoyed it immensely.
Author's Response:
I never could understand how a 23 year old was seen as a father figure. My son's 21, and I'd never imagine him as a father to teenagers; he's too close to one himself. I think it passes inspection, because Peter Fascinelli was so much older than Carlisle from the books. My Carlisle only resembles Fascinelli a tiny bit. Don't know why, but I picture a young Robert Redford.
The grief is a theme that runs through this story, but it's more about healing. Everyone copes with it differently, and what seems like wildly out of character behavior, is an expression of trauma and loss. You'd be surprised how many readers thought I should stick to how they were written in the books--keep Carlisle always a compassionate pacifist, keep Bella and Alice always friens, etc. Those readers have probably never suffered through anything more challenging than a dead goldfish. What I've written, tests them, and they come out changed. My job is to write the transition, so it doesn't come out of the blue.
Thanks again for your comments.
Date: 15 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 Movie Night
I never really considered Joham's whole plot until now. My skin felt like it was crawling just reading about it. Edward really did do a wonderfully selfless thing. I can not imagine knowing you will die. Then again, as a mother I would die for my kids in an instant. It made me appreciate Edward more....made him more than he is, if that makes sense.
I really like how you talked about Rosalie and Emmett's relationship. They always seem so happy, but I always wondered if it ever seemed to Rosalie that she was a mother to a kid.
As always, I loved it. I like the progress.
Author's Response:
Joham comes up a few more times in the story. He had a power you wouldn't think was all that amazing, but he used it to his advantage, and pushed it as far as he could. Edward had already faced dying, in New Moon. He probably didn't really think it would happen, since Alice's visions are often fluid. It was a risk he was willing to take.
Rosalie and Emmett are characters I love to play with. On the surface, they remind me of the typical homecoming king and queen. She's beautiful, he's a big tough guy. They almost belong together, like the perfect couple on the top of the wedding cake. I like to dig a little deeper. The way she died comes back to me again and again. This cold, shallow, ice princess had a "life-changing" experience. This is why I wrote that she wanted to be cherished. Royce ripped that dream away from her, and Emmett never really gave it back. In the books, she carries her bitterness like a sword.
Date: 16 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 Emotional Abuse
I need a vampire brain just to get my head around all that I read. If my hair wasn't pulled back I would probably be yanking it out right now. You provided new layers to Edward that made me like him more, made me see him in a different light. I am glad Bella got some of her questions answered, even if she didn't hear what she wanted to hear. I also liked the new layers to Esme's story. So many emotions there....and so many thoughts on how it related to her saving Nessie....you make me think too much too early. (:
I did snicker at the beginning when Bella went off on Carlisle....so Bella. I am glad she is slowly making peace with things.
Author's Response:
Originally, that bit when Carlisle declared he loved Bella, was a cliffhanger. I'm trying to reorganize the chapters to consider the pacing, rather than keeping readers with short attention spans. I think I'm going to keep the fast update schedule as much as I can, so cliffies shouldn't be necessary.
Thank you for your willingness to think. You'd be surprised how many readers come in with their own prejudices, and notions of how characters should behave, and they don't give a writer a chance to change that opinion. My favorite readers are those who will let me tell them a story.
It seems you've got a few issues with canon Edward. I thought he was a bit of an overprotective, controlling creep. If he didn't have Pattinson's good looks, I doubt readers would have allowed him to get away with so much. I try to write the reasons behind those irritating behaviors. I try to add depth to the characters, since most of their canon characterization could be summed up in a couple paragraphs.
Don't yank out your hair, there are even more twists, ahead.
Date: 18 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 Perfect Storm
Well...I might be just a wee bit speechless right now. Shocker I know. I like how you add levels into the characters. I mean yeah they are supernatural and supposedly perfect, but you make them more realistic in their struggles. They aren't just black and white, but shades of grey. I find I prefer fan fiction to the books sometimes because I like seeing where others can take characters. I think they could have been so much more than they were....that's why I enjoy your story so much.
I liked that Carlisle had a setback of his own...odd I know...but it is nice to see seemingly perfect people being flawed....makes him more relatable. I felt for him when he took in the destruction of the island. I just wanted to hug them both. I also like that Carlisle and Bella didn't go at it like rabbits...that wouldn't have been fair to either of them. I like that they care about each other the way they do. They compliment each other nicely. I look forward to seeing where you take their relationship.
Author's Response:
Thank you; your reviews leave me a wee bit speechless. Very little is more satisfying, than when a reader "gets it." My challenge with Twilight fan fiction, is always in keeping the elements that readers love, sticking with the supernatural aspects, but still making them as real as someone you might meet on the streets. Concentrating on their human struggles, and not their supernatural perfection, gives me much better stories to tell. The supernatural perfection is often the hardest part of the story to deal with. I do have to tweak canon at times, and come up with ways to bind them and ways to kill them. If there's no risk to the characters, aside from a broken heart, then they lose some of that humanity.
I also dislike perfect characters. The Cullens seemed to have everything together. To me they seemed a bit plastic. In this story, they've all got some flaws, and things they had to overcome. Carlisle cultivates an image, so he can be a doctor, and a respected member of the community. Bella gets a chance to peek beneath his mask, and he doesn't always have it together. I also hate when characters magically form attachments and go at it like bunnies. Thanks again for reading and leaving a wonderful review.
Date: 20 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 Homecoming
I am glad you like the reviews, I rarely leave short ones....just not my style. I have probably said it before, but usually I can't take sadness/angst in my stories....I am a naturally happy person and I love all that is happy, however, your story doesn't get weighed down by the heavy topic. I think of how I would feel if I had to move on from my husband. I am like Bella is right now, I don't know if I could. I think I could be content again, and I would do that for my kids, but yeah, I understand where she is coming from. Carlisle has the benefit of experience, he has been through this twice now. Bella isn't there yet, but I imagine she will get there. Whether it be with Carlisle or someone else, I can see her being able to find that peace. I liked the end of this chapter with Colette. I think she, and the others like her will help Bella in ways others can't. I was also happy for the brief glimpse of Jasper. He has always been one of my favorites (he reminds me of my husband in so many ways), so anytime I see Jasper is a good time. I feel for him though, all the emotions.....
One last thing...I love how you subtly remind us that Carlisle is in fact a young guy. It isn't all about him being a leader and a father, but that he is a man too....does that make sense?! On the flip side, you show Bella as a young girl, but also as a mother....she isn't some immature child....not sure I explained it how I thought it in my head.....it was a compliment though.....cause seriously, I haven't loved a story this much in ages. I get giddy seeing how things progress each time.
Author's Response:
I love real reviews, and I promise to respond to all of them. I discovered with this story, that I'm pretty good at sad stories. But I can't write unending woe; there's got to be something more. I've read a couple stories that just piled on the horror and grief, and it makes me numb. Pretty soon, I'm like "Yeah, yeah, yeah, more people died, it was awful, it was terrible, but so what?" It's weird, but I like to have a good cry, and sad songs or fiction give me just the right amount of choked up to get it out of my system. i also love happy endings, and I'm not likely to leave something in a bad spot. If I can't get happy, I'll at least go for satisfying.
The subject of loss is one I'm not so familiar with, thankfully. My dad died in a work accident when I was eight, leaving my mom a 26 year-old widow with three kids. I saw a lot of sadness and coping second hand. Part of what I wrote in this story, is driven by the characters. Bella was nearly suicidal when Edward left her, a death has to be that much more hard and real. She needed help from Jacob to cope, and now Carlisle is helping.
There are a lot of new and original characters I introduce in this story. The canon characters left, will still be involved as well. I love Jasper, and he's also changed by the war, but for the better.
Carlisle as he's written is probably my favorite character, though I like Jacob too. There's just something about a vampire who refuses to kill. If vampires were real, I wouldn't want to be one, because of that whole killing thing. To gain immortality, but lose my humanity? Nope. I think it's too easy to forget that he's a young man, with more going on than just "compassion." I had a lot of fun giving his character a bit more flesh. His history challenged my research skills, but I don't see how I can write a 375 year-old character without bringing in a little history.
Thanks again for reviewing. I hate to say it, but when I posted the next chapter, I got a "my fatal SQL error" which means it won't send out notifications. I got these all through my last story, and once they appear, there's nothing I can do about it. It's not on my end, and I get tired of writing the admin and asking for the story to be put on the front page for every update. So, I'll try to stick to the two day updates, unless something happens to take me away from my computer.
Date: 22 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11 Family Ties
I really do feel bad for all of the hybrids. Being forced to cannibalize your own mother has to be traumatizing. It made me shiver just thinking about it. I imagine most of the hybrids are messed up pretty badly. I felt for Gemma....she is so broken...she actually reminded me a little of Bella when you were writing of the nightmares. That was the first thing I thought of actually. Gemma tries though, scared as she is, she tries and that is something. I think Bella will learn a lot from the hybrids and vice versa. Colette made me laugh with all her talk of a good match - it was like she stepped out of the 1800's with that one. I could not imagine marrying for anything less than love, but when you have no one to guide you I can see where it wouldn't seem to matter. I chuckled though because it threw Bella. I have to ask, does Carlisle know he will be proposing soon?
I like how Bella is making small breakthroughs...wearing the bracelet, listening to music.....she is a survivor. And I loved the house...I was picturing it in my mind and although I probably didn't do it justice, I liked it all the same.
On a side note, I love that you get it too. There has to be smidge of angst, but it can't be never-ending...there has to be hope. Not everyone will get that perfect ending, but a satisfying ending...yeah. I have lost people, but never anyone terribly close. A spouse or child though...I would be exactly like Bella. I keep an eye out just in case the site doesn't send the notifications...That happens a lot. I am enough of an addict that I will search it out if need be. (:
Author's Response:
I posted the new chapter early in the A.M. and was too tired to answer the reviews. I like to answer the last chapter's reviews a few days late, since it gives them time to simmer. This works especially well when it's criticism. If it's a great one, it's hard to type and dance at the same time.
The hybrids all have it bad. Nessie was cared for and loved like a baby, but Joham's hybrids were treated like weapons in a future army. Gemma and Colette both have damage, and they both deal with it in different ways. Nahuel was lucky, since he wasn't raised by Joham. The earliest hybrids were more a by-product of Joham's lust and interaction with human women. He didn't have any plans at the time. it took access to Volterra to show him what was possible.
Bella's making more progress than she realizes. She is a survivor, but she's also got a tendency to be self-centered and wallow in her grief. With so much changed, she's forced to see beyond her own misery. Colette is showing her how much she missed, especially with Ness. She wasn't there for her daughter, but Colette was. Colette's a constant reminder, that if Bella doesn't step up and claim her life, someone else will.
I know several women who have lost children....surprisingly more than those who have lost husbands. I can't imagine that kind of grief. From what I've seen, it affects them deeply, but it doesn't change them as much as I would expect. Happy, optimistic women are still happy and optimistic. The hardest thing I ever witnessed, was a single mom, whose only son committed suicide at 19. I don't think I've ever seen so much pain in one person.
I had a chance to get to know a lovely senior citizen woman, who was a newlywed in her seventies. She and her new husband were both widowed, but she was so giddy and happy, just like a girl in her twenties. She gave me the best way to look at it. "I think of his wife as a good friend. She was a beautiful woman, and we keep her pictures out. Sometimes I even talk to her. If she hadn't been such a good woman, and they hadn't had such a good marriage, then he wouldn't be the man he is today. Because they had a strong and loving marriage, he missed that and wanted it in his life. She's the reason he's able to love me."
Thanks again for your reviews.
Date: 26 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 A Gift
Oooh.....I love your take on Alice. I like the idea that she wasn't always so put together and happy. I never would have thought to go there with her. It makes sense though. I mean asylums were not friendly places to be, so it stands to reason why she would be a wee bit feral when she comes across Jasper. I could see it happening the way he tells it. It kind of flows better....Makes them more equal. They both saved each other. I like it. Jasper has such a way about him. When he added the new charm to Bella's bracelet I just awwwed.
I liked the steps forward that Bella and Carlisle were taking. It was a little awkward when Colette busted in though. I mean does Carlisle not see how Colette feels? Cause she is not subtle at all. Bella sees it....loved her reaction. It made me smile. She seems to have less than friendly feelings....is a cat fight brewing?!
The rationale about not taking James on was enlightening too. Hindsight is 20/20, and who knows what would have changed. I like that Bella is able to be ticked off at Edward....That she sees he wasn't perfect.
On another note.....You. Get. It. I haven't seen BD2. Someone was telling me how it went and it was so far away that I just haven't gotten around to it yet. It took me a year after getting Eclipse on DVD to watch that...so....yeah. My hubby freaked out when Jacob imprinted on Nessie. It was ugly. The books kind of ticked me off. I will commit my kid if she ever acts like that. (:
Author's Response:
I just can't understand Alice's character in canon. She was institutionalized as a child, James wanted to kill her, she can't remember her human family, and she can foretell the future. She should be as dark as they come, not some bubbly party girl. I wrote a one-shot about her, where I figured a way to make it work. Now it's hard for me to see her any other way.
Colette is still a child in a woman's body. Carlisle sees the child, and he believes that it takes two to make a couple, and he hasn't agreed. He told her once, but that isn't enough for someone as persistent as she is. I don't think Carlisle would appreciate a cat fight.
As far as Bella being angry with Edward, one of the stages of grief is anger. Now that he's gone, she can rage about how often his overprotectiveness bordered on disrespectful. One critic said he "infantalized" her, even going to the point of carrying her around like a papoose. None of the Cullens were very good at respecting her wishes, from Alice who insisted she wear clothes she wasn't comfortable in, to buying her gifts and installing the stereo in her truck. Actually, Rosalie was the only Cullen who honored her choices.
I had to reread the first book to get some details straight in my head, and I was surprised at how many times they just ignored what she said. When she got faint in school when they were doing the blood tests, Edward volunteered to drive her home, even though she tried to refuse. The school admins actually allowed a male student to drive a delirious female student off school grounds?! Where are the reality police when you need them? This would NEVER happen. "Mister Cullen, go back to class. Bella, just rest in the nurses office until you feel better. If you want, we can call your Dad for you."
The imprints...that's another tough canon issue. Is it two or three of them who imprinted on children? As if a 103 year-old man stalking a seventeen year-old girl isn't enough to raise the pedo flag. I'm pretty sure, without so many of the crazy things Meyer wrote, this series would have charmed readers just the same. Edward could have been a respectable twenty year-old who died at seventeen. The vampires didn't have to sparkle, but could still need their hunting trips. The vampire fertility didn't have to be included, nor did Jacob's imprint. No Renesmee? I think I'd like that better.
Date: 28 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 Carlisle
I swear you never cease to amaze me with this story. Just when I think I can't love it anymore you prove me wrong. I loved Carlisle's backstory. He always comes off as this perfectly pious he was patriarch so it was nice to see that he is just a man. He had flaws, anger, impure thoughts and actions - it was a nice reminder that he was a 23 year old man. I always hated how he was made to be so perfect....so flawless. They were all so stepford. To hear his story and know he struggles with the same things...It was nice, for lack of a better word. And sweet and flustered....I adored that. He was wonderful in his awkwardness. And a romantic to boot.....even better. I like that he wants to fall in love with Bella - I think that is perfect.
I kind of feel for Colette, but Carlisle nailed it with how she acts. I think she will be just fine. I liked that Carlisle put Bella at ease regarding the whole situation though....Makes me like him even more.
I have come to the conclusion I don't like the books much, the movies are ok, but it is the fan fiction that makes it all wonderful. Go figure. Can't wait for more....especially with how you keep reinventing these characters.
Author's Response:
Rats! I was halfway through a response, when one keystroke deleted it! Let's see if I can remember.
Your reviews make me giggle. Every now and then I get a reader who sees things the same way I do, and it's so much fun! It makes me feel great, when I know my words are doing what I intended. Sometimes readers come with so much bias one way, it's impossible to show them something different. That's one of the pitfalls of writing fan fiction. I have a story about Leah, and one reader went halfway through the story, then left, claiming that Leah belonged with Jake. I can understand quitting in the beginning, once they see where it's headed. But going halfway through the story before quitting, makes me feel as if I didn't communicate well enough. I'm pretty much over that now, since I know it's impossible to please everyone.
Carlisle is such a fascinating character. I finally had to figure out when he was born, and for this story, that was in 1639. Historically, new colonies were being established in America, and the English were signing treaties with the Scots. Somewhere between inquisitions and witch burning. Over a hundred years before Mozart! Just from a historical standpoint, he's got a lot more going on than what was shown in the books or movies. But add in that he's only 23, and he has perfect vampire memory, and I don't know how he could ever be dull.
I think the perfect vampires were possible, given decades to get over their history. We know Alice was from the asylum, Jasper killed many newborns, Edward went through a rebellion and we assume he hunted human predators, and Emmett has "slipped". But what's missing is the journey between their beginnings and their perfect images. People don't change that much, unless there's a reason. I like writing what happens along the way, and the baggage they still carry. Perfect is boring. The trick is making it work with what is written. I've written a wicked little affair between Edward and Rosalie, long before he met Bella, and it actually fits as a prequel to their love story. I can't call it canon, because boy perfect had to lie, and we all know vampires don't lie. (wink, wink)
Colette is just a burr under Bella's saddle, but she's a reminder that Carlisle is a desirable man. She's also one of Joham's hybrids, and she's got a lot more damage than she shows. One thing that wasn't covered in the books, is that even though hybrids grow up quick, they don't get the wisdom that comes from experience. Colette looks like an adult, but she's still only about ten in actual years.
I don't like the books much either. But Meyer did manage to tap into many things that enthralled her readers. I suspect many readers embellished the story in their own minds--a sort of mental fan fiction. Sort of like how we believe Edward hunted only human predators, though it wasn't written. Fan fiction readers and writers, focus on what they loved, and either ignore or change what they didn't like. Some even believe the books are perfect, though I think they're dismissing aspects of the fiction that weren't perfect. I also think many identify with the images of the actors, and less with the books. Funny, but Pattinson doesn't do it for me. I like the older actors for Charlie and Billie.
Date: 09 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19 Broken
Wow, you weren't kidding when you said twists.....goodness. I feel so bad for Jasper right now. Although I still feel bad for Alice, it has been lessened a little by her actions. That was just a whirlwind of chaos you had going on there. I think the only person I did not wish to smack into submission was the human woman. They were all acting out this chapter. The whole thing just seemed to implode and boy did it get ugly. I think I might just be speechless this time. The person I felt most for though was Jasper, followed distantly by Carlisle and Bella. Poor Jasper though, to have Alice just tell him in that manner....grieving or not I wanted to tell at her. I am glad Bella put a stop to his advances though, that would have turned ugly in so many ways. Sadly though, everything they all said can not be unsaid....hopefully once things have calmed down things can progress again. I don't think any of them handled it correctly and there certainly were no winners this time.
I flipping LOVE Bruno. I absolutely adore him and once you said his name I could picture Aro acting like him. I am glad Caius is gone....I always got a too good for everyone vibe from him and that kind of pride never ends well.
Author's Response:
Jasper isn't going to play the victim for long. He didn't survive so long with Maria and her newborns, to collapse now. Alice was grieving as much as Bella, but instead of trying to die, she sought solace with someone else. Alice lost her mother, her brothers, and her best friends, and her husband couldn't get through to her. No one is over the war yet, and the effects are still being felt by all of them.
Alice had to tell Jasper, because she knew Aro would if she didn't. Jasper was trying so hard to keep her together. She looked strong on the outside, but she was shattered inside. Bella just cracked the protective shell, and all the poison came out.
No one is over the pain of their losses yet, even Carlisle. They're all raw around the edges, and they still have a way to go.
Every time I look at pictures of Michael Sheen, I can't picture Aro as the stern Volturi leader. I see him with more spark and passion. He's still detached from the rest of the world, but with all the changes, he's a lot more lively. I think he's manipulative and cunning, and knows how to get what he wants. But he's also getting a fresh look at the world through his children, and he's suffered a lot of losses himself. He's the ultimate survivor.
I love Bruno too.
Date: 30 Jun 2014 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15 Learning
I could see Jasper as a psychologist. One thing for certain, people would have a hard time getting one over on him. Something about him (probably the empathetic nature I suppose) just screams out you can talk to me about anything. I like that he is there for Bella to talk about things. It has to be so confusing all these new feelings for Carlisle. Trying to reconcile Edward is dead and her feelings for Carlisle...That would cause confusion for anyone. I am sure he feels the same kind of conflicting emotions. Add in the situation with Colette and that makes it even worse. I like what she said though....about if he was that easily swayed by a females attention it wouldn't be worth it. Very mature of Bella and I liked it. Colette...yeah....she was so very transparent. Good for Bella to not stoop to her level and game playing. I always thought that doing things like Colette just makes a person seem catty and vapid....all things a person who claims to be an adult does not do.
I am really looking forward to seeing Jake and Nessie again....I look forward to your take on that.
So, I caught a few minutes of BD2 yesterday. It was a scene with Jake and Nessie....I stand by my original view.....That was a creepy way to provide Jake a happy ending.
Author's Response:
In this story, I found that Jasper and Bella shared a rapport that made him more her friend than Alice. He's got that dark history, and he's seen his share of war and death. He knows what she's going through, but he also knows there's life afterward. If their gifts come from their human personalities, his empathy must be something he had before he was changed. Meyer called it charisma, and I just imagine him being the kind of man people wanted to be around. I see him as the kind of person who would notice things others miss. He'd read faces, and be concerned enough to ask what's going on.
The way Bella deals with Colette, is from her interactions with Esme. It would have been so easy to fall into the trap of competing with the girl, and being jealous. But instead she chose to behave as Esme might. The war has given her some maturity. She's falling for Carlisle, but she's not going to force it, even if it means Colette could steal him away. It sort of reminds me of how Edward allowed other boys to ask her out, giving her ample opportunity to make a different choice.
I don't think Colette realizes what she's doing is wrong. She doesn't see it as adversarial and divisive. She only knows what she wants, and what makes sense to her. She's a child who wants a toy, and doesn't understand that it might belong to someone else. She hasn't developed enough empathy to see outside her own little bubble. Daddy said Carlisle was mine, and that's all that matters!
One thing I think Meyer did, was establish her immortals as frozen in time. Once they reach the age of maturity or are vamped, they don't grow any more, either emotionally or physically. A mature Jacob is supposed to be exactly the same, even eight years later, when Nessie reaches that point. It's like a stasis field. I never saw it that way, and it's one of those things that bothered me. Edward was frozen at seventeen, so it was acceptable for him to be with Bella, even though he was actually 103. That doesn't wash with me. Age is more than what you look like physically; it's experiences, maturity, and even generational markers. Eight year old Nessie with twenty-five year old Jake would be just as wrong. When she's 18, he's going to be thirty-five! Not if she was my daughter!
Then there's the whole idea of magical mate selection--ugh! I hate the whole idea of soul mates, one perfect person in the universe for me--love at first sight thing. Bella thought she had that with Edward, and is discovering the universe holds so much more. People are multi-faceted, they grow and change, and there's no magic to keeping a relationship strong. The imprinting is just weird. To me it feels like laziness on the part of the writer. Why write two people growing together and discovering love, when you can snap your fingers and call it divine destiny. It's a deus ex machina of the romance genre.
I do write in canon, so Jacob is married to Nessie. But it's not exactly problem free. Later in the story, I show how Jacob treats Ness like a child. Sometimes it's hard to write canon, when it doesn't make sense to me. Later in the story, I get to confront some of the imprint issues.
Date: 02 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 Grandma
Wow. Always leaving me speechless. The more I learn about what Joham did, the sicker I feel. Poor Gemma...I can't even imagine the horrors she has lived though. She may be broken, but she is strong to have survived and to try to move on from it....That makes her a survivor. I liked how she is becoming more trusting around Bella. She handed her own child over with no worry, that is progress I don't think they all fully appreciated. While reading this chapter I got a new appreciation for vampire laws. I know Joham was making hybrids way before Bella and Edward made their own, but good grief this is way worse than even immortal children. I mean you have all these women that can simply have more hybrid children and no one would be any wiser. Then they could go out and feed on humans (or even animals)..it is staggering to imagine the damage....crisis...that would cause. What happens when the food source is gone....just wow. Yeah, that is what I thought of when I was reading....ironically it was when I read about what happened to Gemma that my mind wandered there. You really highlighted, although subtly, how strong Jasper truly is. To survive all that emotionally charged turmoil like he did. It just goes to show how strong he is. I loved the reunion with Bella and Nessie. I liked Bella's new epiphany this chapter as well. It does show vampires are not set in stone. I always thought SM had it wrong in that respect....vamps couldn't survive if they did not evolve. I like that you see the series like I do. I think she had a pretty good concept, SM just didn't develop it as well as she could/should have. I also like that you bring new ways for me to see things. There are some ideas I just never would have imagined and then I read an update and just sit back and think....whoa...I can see how that would have been possible outcome. Great update.
Author's Response:
Every time I read the name Joham, I want to change the M to an N. I've looked up the name, and can't find it like that. He was a real piece of work. Gemma isn't the only one he messed up in a big way. He figured since the immortal can't be killed, and they heal fast, then he could do whatever he wanted with them. Gemma is definitely a survivor. I think I actually overdid it on the evil of Joham. No one is ever all good or all evil. If he weren't dead, he would probably want a chance to explain his reasoning.
I've often wondered about vampire law and the idea of overpopulation. They could easily overcome their food source, especially Meyer's vampires. They have to finish their prey, they can't take a little and stop, and they don't have any of the limitations of other vampires. The Volturi vampire laws haven't caught up to the hybrids yet. If it weren't canon that they can creat vampires and have powers, I would have had to tone them down. They're almost better than vampires, with the best of human and supernatural traits.
Jasper is such a strong character, and I love to get into what drives him. Right now I'm writing a story featuring Jasper, before he met Alice. I'm anxious to get into his history, and build a foundation beneath him. This is a man who's been through war, both human and vampire. He's seen it all, and lives to tell about it.
The idea that vampires are exactly the same as when they were created is ridiculous. I can imagine the older they get, the more dated they could become. But to be completely frozen in time? No way. That's why I had issues with Edward stalking Bella when she was only 17 and he was over a hundred. Just because he looks like a kid doesn't mean he really is. Thanks again for all the details--I love it!
Date: 04 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 Volterra
Wow. You have my inner hopeless romantic squealing right now. I like how Carlisle and Bella don't just fall into bed (well they kind of did....) but actually talk about things. They have friendship that they keep building on and it just keeps getting better. I like that they talk about the things that concern them. Neither is going into this blind or putting the other on a pedestal.....It is a nice change from Edward. I like that Carlisle says he will console her from emotional harm but not protect her from it.
Volterra....hmmm....so many things there. It was good to get some insight on how the people kept the Volturi from feeding on innocent people only. They were crafty people. They knew they couldn't take on the vamps, but in a way they had them performing a service to the public by busing in they evil people....nicely done. I mean no one could be stupid enough to not at least have an inkling of what was going on in that castle. Aro was interesting. To see him out of his element was deeply satisfying.
Are all of the hybrids going to have such a reaction to Bella? I remember Nahuel from the books reacting in a similar manner as Aro's daughter so I wondered.
I am glad you don't mind my rather lengthy reviews. You just put so much good stuff in each chapter that it just gets me going. (:
Author's Response:
When I started writing this couple, I wasn't sure how they were going to get along. Making Carlisle different from Edward, and finding their chemestry was difficult. I happened upon the idea that Carlisle is wearing a mask most of the time, and Bella was able to worm her way under it. Peeling off the perfect veneer of the stern, controlled, old vampire, revealed a flawed, earnest, humble, laid-back man, who is young enough to still be a little naive, and old enough to have some hard-won wisdom. Watching Bella trying to discover his depths is a lot of fun, but they still have a lot to learn about each other.
It surprised me how many places Meyer wrote were real. Forks, Port Angeles, the Quileutes, Denali, Volterra, and even the Italian restaurant where they went on their date, are all real. Imagining vampires in a real setting is a bit challenging. I think they'd be noticed occasionally, especially in Volterra, where they've lived for centuries. I'm sure the residents there would know if there wre vampires living among them. I still have trouble wrapping my mind around the number of people who would have to die, for them to survive for so long.
I like Aro as he's written. I picture him different than he was presented in the movies. I don't know why, but I picture him much more complicated than he's portrayed. I've written an outake about his origin that sort of goes along with this story, but I never managed to finish it. It's too easy to see characters as black or white, good or evil, and I like multi-layerd people with the capacity for both. Having daughters, that's got him right out of his element.
The hybrids have a few different reactions to Bella. Some are like Nahuel, and dthey're in awe of her, and others have a different view of her. Thanks again for the details.
Date: 06 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18 Council
I wonder if Alice saw that coming. I'm know, bad joke. I can't say I am surprised Bella went off on Alice. I can even understand where she is coming from, but I truly feel bad for Alice. The poor thing has gone through so much. The war appears to have sucked all the happiness right out of her. Maybe she should have confided in someone, but I can understand why she didn't. On the other side, I can understand why Bella is so ticked. She thinks Alice took away all her happiness, their decisions, and to an extent I agree. I think Alice did what she thought was best, but she had to know this would be the reaction. I mean, her visions are subjective right, so how could she see every single decision or outcome? Her gift is a double edged sword...when it gives a favorable outcome everyone loves you, but when the outcome is tragic...well...
I feel for them all. I can see why Alice has become so detached. I would think she is trying to protect herself. Those visions would make me cringe something fierce. I just hope Bella can forgive her eventually, especially since Alice didn't cause this. Edward still had free will. I think it is just easier to blame Alice because she is there....It was her visions. It could have been so much worse if the war was a surprise. I can even see all of this as being why Alice shuts out Jasper. Maybe I am way out in left field (it wouldn't be the first time), but I see Alice as holding on to some massive guilt over what happened, what she couldn't stop...her husband is an empath...if he felt that and projected all her negative feelings....shudder....like I said, maybe I am wrong, but I think Alice is already beating herself up. Just from the little you wrote of her this chapter....I think she is lonely and dealing the best way she can.
I was so happy at the beginning. Carlisle is my second favorite (Jasper is always my favorite, I think it is because he could have been my buddy's twin). I loved seeing him so carefree....so flirty and just downright happy. I am hoping Bella's tantrum at the end didn't mess with their happiness too much. I am confident they can talk it through, I imagine it wasn't even wholly unexpected. I really do love the happy Carlisle though. He is such a great character. Aro is just a hot mess, but I love that he doesn't have it easy. I like that you gave him daughters...That was great. I wanted to smack him, but he did have a few valid points.
Whew, I feel like I actually talked this review...I'm tired now. (:
Author's Response:
I think I've even used that joke in one of my stories. Everyone in this story makes mistakes, and they all have a lot of healing to do. There is plenty of pain, guilt, and blame for everyone to get some on them. Alice was stuck in a very bad place, and between Edward asking her to keep it from Bella, and her knowledge that they couldn't have run, without sentencing all the others to death, she doesn't know how to deal with it all. As you can see, she chose some very inappropriate ways. All she had to go on, was how Bella reacted when Victoria was after them, and her choice then was to hide. Then when the Volturi came, she wanted Nessie to run. Very defensive, protecting those she loves, which would have been a disaster in this war.
I also think about how Alices visions got her committed to a mental institution. Scary stuff goes on in her mind, and this time the bad things happened. You're not in left field at all. With so much grief and loss, none of them have really healed and put it behind them. It still comes out in unexpected ways. I did a lot of wicked things with these characters, including letting them behave wildly out of character, but with reason. They're not the perfect, polished Cullens; they're damaged, and trying to figure out how their lives work with so many of their loved ones gone. There's a sense of violation that comes with losing those who shouldn't die. Bella is probably the closest to healing, because she and Rosalie are the only ones who really confronted their grief head on. She's still deeply hurt, but she's ready to move on and see life beyond the war.
I'm a sucker for seeing guys be regular guys. Letting Carlisle be a bit of a goofball makes him a bit more real to me. Men who can laugh, even at themselves, are personable, and I like that much more than brooding sexuality. I like thinking that being a vampire, wouldn't mute being a man first.
Aro is just too much fun to write. I sort of picture him like Bruno from Dancing WT Stars. Not the looks, but the exuberance and passion. I don't see him as the stuffy, dated, relic shown in the movies. Many readers have a strong negative reaction to him, but I have a stronger bias against Caius. Fan girls like Caius, because he's the cute blond actor, but he's the pompous, legalistic killer, who destroyed Irina for making a mistake.
Well, as you might know by now, there's a lot more shake-ups in store, and many twists.
Date: 10 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20 Deception
Good grief. Just when I think you can't surprise me any further you yet again pull the rug out. I feel like quite the broken record for saying that, but it is the truth. I start disliking a character or being ticked at them and then you explain it and I understand their actions better and I find I can't quite hold on to that righteous indignation the same. I really hate that you know. (;
I am going to just flat out say it though, please let me continue to strongly dislike Colette would you....I need to hold on to at least that.
I don't know why it shocked me, but knowing just how important Bella was in winning the war...That just threw me. I think it is good she didn't know, the consequences of knowing all of that in advance could have been disastrous. And Jasper....I feel for him...I understand his reactions, but boy oh boy is it becoming even more of a mess. Poor Alice too. I do wonder who she really wants though. She says she loves and wants Jasper, but I do wonder if she would become Aro's mate to save Jasper. If you feel the need to off a few more people....cough*Aro*cough*Colette*cough. I kid, I simply couldn't resist. I loved the update.
Author's Response:
There are plenty of surprises ahead. I do need to stop explaining characters and motivations aside from the story; that means it didn't come across well enough in the writing. In a longer story, sometimes there are things yet to be revealed. Imagine how Rowling must have felt, knowing she would redeem Snape at the end of the series. Part of the difficulty in posting serial format, is that readers don't have the option of reading all the way through, and discovering how things turn out in their own time.
Colette as she is now, is unlikable. It's fine if you want to dislike her; she still has a lot of growing up and learning to do. Everyone from Volterra is dealing with the fall-out of what Joham did to them. There are also a few little unknowns that are having a big effect on them all.
Bella was critical in the war. Alice knew it, and she also knew that if Bella knew Edward would die there, she would have wanted to run away with her family. If the vampires and wolves didn't make their stand together, then Joham would have picked them off a few at a time. He would have found them eventually, and when they were moire vulnerable, likely when Nessie gave birth. Alice saw many different outcomes, but she didn't see Bella's shield take them all out. She just knew if they ran, everyone would be lost. All those memories and visions of the war, were driving Alice insane
The affair with Aro was her way of keeping her sanity. Dropping it all in Aro's lap, gave her just enough strength to keep going. In a way, she did that when she met Jasper, coming to him with all her fear and brokenness. Edward was also a big help in dealing with her visions, and she doesn't have him anymore. Alice probably misses him as much as Bella, and somewhere in her mind, she blames herself for his death.
Jasper is in shock. He can't believe "his" Alice would do that to him. He doesn't yet see that she's not a little girl being manipulated by Aro, but a woman struggling not to lose herself in her visions. A long time ago, her parents sent her to a mental institution. This Alice has suffered a lot of loss because of her "gift." Jasper can keep her calm and sooth her, but he doesn't yet understand how much she has to deal with. Edward was her buffer, and she doesn't have him any more.
There's still a lot of story to tell. It's good to be back.
Date: 27 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24 Guilt and Blame
Well thank heavens Jasper didn't physically t a key advantage of Ari. I mean yeah in a way he did, but it is not as originally thought. The new layer to his gift is interesting. I hope we get to see him again soon, I do miss Jasper (he will always be my favorite).
This is going to sound a wee bit odd, but it was kind of nice to see a hybrid that was ticked off at Bella,no matter how misguided she is. That backstory is so fudged up it isn't even funny. Caius has always been a prick, but it sad his own wife and daughter had to suffer. That was always something that was never errands touched on...how other vamps felt about having a child of their own. I mean the books covered how Esme and Rose felt but that was it. Bella and Nessie just opened up such a can of worms.
Dora....such a bundle of open hostility and angst, but she has a right to be. I wasn't surprised Bella stepped in. I could even picture Edward pinching his nose and shaking his head all while thinking really Bella, why?! I am curious to see how that relationship will play out. Hopefully they can come to an understanding.
What I like about this story is you are subtle when you talk about the war. You aren't all in your face and overly descriptive about it. You I introduce little things here and there that show just how horrible it was without going overboard. You show the lasting and lingering effects, but you don't harp on it if that makes sense. You throw it in there but it just flows.
I liked the end. Bella lays it out there for Dora. I mean Bella could be just as angry and out for blood because Dora's father killed Edward. Directly..no....indirectly...yes. she has the age and wisdom to know the difference. I think in the long run she can help Dora. I doubt they will be bff's, but I imagine they can coexist.
Totally off topic, it always irked me how Jasper suffered with feeding from humans before he went veggie. I never understood why he didn't just alter his victims feelings. I know it wouldn't have flowed with the story, but it seemed like common sense to me. Then again a lot of that series had things that lacked common sense...
:)
Author's Response:
It's funny, Bella didn't believe Jasper did the deed, even before they had proof, but Alice was quick to believe he'd cheated. Aro discovered this as well, but didn't share it with Alice. Alice knows Jasper is capable of doing something so low--especially since she did it first. He doesn't whine about it, but Jasper lost two brothers in the war, and someone he was beginning to think of as a mother. His military background, and his time with Maria has made him able to accept losses, and make tough choices. But this time it changed him. He's discovered that holding back and not being fully invested in relationships, doesn't keep them from hurting when they're gone. He's finally giving in to his emotions, rather than trying to cover them up.
There are a lot who would be angry with Bella, if they really knew what she did. When the Cullens showed up at Volterra, they stopped the rumor mill before it could spread all the bad news. Dora has a way of hearing all the rumors and secrets. Aro likens her to the "fly on the wall" when it comes to what she knows. She's small, quiet, and she's had the run of the complex since she first started walking. She knows anything Caius talked about around her, and she heard from the survivors what happened. Plus she's into research.
Caius and Joham sort of fed off one another. Caius believed there would be a confrontation between vampires and humans, and Joham was trying to create a super soldier, and an army that would blend in with humanity until they were called up. Caius was fully behind the war in Denali, because it offered him revenge for their earlier embarrassment. He didn't intend his wife and daughter to suffer, he thought they'd easily win, and they'd come home victorious. Joham did insist his wife join them, but Caius believed she was protected at the rear of the army. Aro knew the wives weren't safe there, but he embraced the possibility of being a widower, with the freedom to take Alice as his mate.
I've never seen Bella as particularly compassionalte, and the girl in the books wouldn't have moved to save Dora. But Dora is so close to Nessie's age, and in many ways this Bella feels responsible for the creation of the hybrids. She's lost so much, she can understand how Dora feels. Before the war, she led a charmed existence, and now she can see how everything is interconnected, and she's not above it all.
The war changed everyone, even if I don't write it all out. Mom once told me about a friend of my dad's who went to Vietnam. He lost his leg, and he came home with stories he wouldn't even tell his wife, unless he was very drunk. Some things are subtle, and others are just too horrific to tell. I've learned along the way that readers fill in gaps with their own imaginations, if I don't dump it all out there. If I say "abuse" I don't have to write the details. In this story, the after effects are far more telling than any details, and Dora still has her story to tell. She's not the only one.
Jasper could have influenced his victims, for sure. But I sort of think it would be hard for him not to feel their final struggles. I can imagine, when they're on the brink of death, their minds would dump all that fear and horror, and he wouldn't be able to change that. But who knows?
Date: 30 Jul 2014 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25 Forgiveness
Dora's gift is freaky. Sadly I had to re-read that part with the doctor (I blame it on the meds) before I fully grasped what was happening. I feel for the girl. I mean she was already messed up and then she hears even more. It is just a vicious circle of insanity. Then to realize Dora isn't as old as she physically appears...shudder...It made me want to go all mama bear on the dead vamp. I still am trying to wrap my head around all the hybrids that were just abandoned by their fathers. It is like the newness wore off and they decided it was easier to walk away. I mean sure part of it could be blamed on Joham and Caius, but not all. I guess as a parent myself, of a young daughter, I would wreck some havoc if anyone tried doing something like that to my kid....either one of them.
I like that Bella called Carlisle because she knew he would know what to do. I know their road probably won't be too easy (who really has a problem free relationship), but they make little inroads....enough so that I keep reading for more.
I am glad Bella finally got her head out of the sand. Yes she was mourning, but so was everyone else. I think part of it was her age, both as vampire and then physically. I would have reacted the same way at 18. I am old enough now that if something were to happen to my husband I know I have 2 other people that rely on me to keep it together. Bella just didn't have that maturity yet, so I think that is why I cut her a little slack. Age and experience really do matter.
I like that Bella and Dora might not have such a volatile relationship now. I really did feel for Dora....
Oh, and I loved the Harry Potter reference there at the end....I am such a sucker for those.
Author's Response:
In this story, some of the hybrids have greater powers than their vampire sires. Maybe its the constant supply of lifeblood they have over vampires? Yeah, even when Bella rushed Dora to the clinic, she still made another attempt to end her life, trying to control the doctor. It takes a lot of effort to do what she does, but it's still a very powerful ability. Caius had a greater form of it, when he controlled everyone, and directed them like his own chess pieces. In Dora's mind, she is defective, and ugly, and after hearing Bella's story, she stopped Blaming Bella, and instead blamed herself. If she had satisfied Joham, he wouldn't have engineered the war that got her mother killed is her flawed reasoning. Now Bella realized everything that happened to Dora could have happened to Nessie if they'd succeeded. She feels attached to this girl, beyond any old Volterra decree. Dora's about a year younger than Ness, so she's fully mature. She wasn't even close when Joham took her. He was a real piece of work.
The hybrids were abandoned by their fathers, because in many instances their fathers didn't realize they had children. Joham controlled them so completely, he was able to suggest they forget. "Go do this little task for me, then you can go home to your wife, my friend." Aro knew he had children, because Joham wanted him to know the horror of what he'd done. Caius only had Dora, because Joham was afraid of him having someone who could compete with him. Dora's ability works like Joham's, but in a different way. She controls people physically, but their minds are their own. Joham controled them mentally, though they knew they were being used. Caius linked everyone together under one goal. The fathers weren't allowed to bond with their children, and often their mates didn't know they existed. Many of the hybrids were brought by Joham, and they're his own children. He liked hybrids better than vampires, but they were still only tools to him.
When I wrote this, I loved how Bella and Carlisle created a different kind of love story from hers and Edward's. They both follow their patterns, but then realize they can't deal with each other in the same way. It's different, and in Bella's case, I think it's more mature. There's no love at first sight here, and it has to grow and be nurtured. It takes intention. One thing I love in romantic stories, is when two people talk like adults, instead of stewing in their misunderstanding like kids. Being able to apologize and move on, is so much better than holding a grudge and waiting until "irresistable forces" drive them together in spite of their anger. Calling him, when she's still afraid he's distancing himself from her, is a sign of maturity.
she's finally starting to move past her grief. Carlisle helped her take the first steps, but it would have been easy to retreat when he turned his back on her. There's just so much sucking need in Volterra, she can't backslide. I think a lot of her grief stemmed for how she felt about Edward. In her eyes, he set the sun in the sky, and she thought they were just destined to be together. She fell in love, when there was really no connection between them, except for his beauty and being off limits. I always thought her idea of ove was flawed; He's beautiful, I love him! She had a high school infatuation she blew up into the real thing. She's more mature now, and she knows what real love is. Losing the magical love, has left her open for something grounded in the real world, not the fantasy.
That Harry Potter reference was fun. I've thought of writing fan fiction for that series, but I don't think I'm up to the task. Rowling didn't leave many dangling strings or unwritten back stories. Add to that how fully fleshed her world is, and the length of the series, and I'd have a hard time keeping all the balls in the air. Then she also wrote the epilogue, showing how everyone turned out and what happens in the future, so all the bases are covered. My biggest impediment is remembering all the magic, and terminology for spellcasting.
Date: 01 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26 Long Distance
I might have squealed a little bit in the beginning. I mean, there was Carlisle and there was Bella and they were talking and communicating....and my little hopeless romantic heart was so happy. Now I know they still have things to discuss, but they are getting there. (:
So, Aro gave up easily. I feel like I am being paranoid, but I have this feeling he hasn't finished causing trouble yet, especially considering Alice and Jasper were reconnecting at the end. Please tell me Alice and Bella are going to be smart enough to get rid of Jasper's scent before they go back. That was actually my first thought....how sad is that?! I am glad Alice and Jasper are working it out too....I want so badly for them to get their HEA, preferably with each other...they just deserve it. I am also enjoying Alice and Bella. They make quite the team and I am glad they are working on their relationship as well.
So much centered around the relationships this time. I was curious about Rosalie. I am glad she is getting another chance with Garrett. I always felt Rosalie got a scrappy deal in the books and movies. It was like every selfish and vain stereotype was given to her. Of course then her backstory was told, but still...I always felt bad for her.
So, I would have reviewed earlier but we had no wireless, cable or phones today. My kids had to amuse themselves the old fashioned way....oh the horrors. Oh who am I kidding, we all suffered today.
I can't wait for the next update. It's getting so good. (:
Author's Response:
It's funny, when two people have something between them, they don't have to be all over each other to be romantic. Sometimes just talkig can be sweet, even if they're so far apart.
Aro is complicated, and sometimes he tries to be a better man. He likes Bella, and wants her to be happy. He knows what she's been through, and he's not trying to make her life difficult. But he's also got his issues, and he isn't dealing well with the way things are after the war. He's having trouble reconciling what was with what is. Going from being the leader of a huge, powerful coven, to just an ordinary dad, with teenagers, no friends, and no real standing, is a challenge for him. Joham messed with him too.
Bella didn't touch Jasper, and she hunted and spent time in the woods before returning to Volterra. Alice probably didn't consider the scent, but it doesn't matter. Everyone knew they were going to meet with Jasper. Secrets are almost impossible to keep in Volterra. Alice and Bella neglected their friendship for two years, and came to the point where they blamed and hated one another. But there's a lot more good history between them than bad, and the same perfect memory that makes it hard to let go of love, makes it hard to give up on a friendship either. Even when Alice blamed Bella for Esme's death, she still bought her the charm. Bella's anger at Alice came with learning all she'd held back, and she really only had a short time to deal with that knowledge.
Rosalie always comes off as the b!tch. I like seeing her more as the one most broken. If you beat it, sooner or later even a good dog will bite. I think the war had a serious impact on Rose. She lost Emmett, who was all hers, from his creation on. He was everything Royce wasn't, and that was her stability for so long. Losing Emmett along with her beauty, again took everything that mattered away from her. Garrett showed her there's mre to life than having beauty, and a good man. Before they became a couple, they talked. Bella only saw a little of that, but they spent their evenings outside, looking at the stars in the Alaskan sky, and talked for hours. Garrett's a good man who sees more than her beauty. Like Carlisle does with Bella, he encouraged her in ways that helped her blossom. Besides, Garrett likes women with some sass and spirit.
Not having wireless these days is a real hardship. I'm probably the least wired person I know, and even I miss it when it's gone. My husband doesn't have any patience when the internet isn't accessable. He's on the phone to get it fixed the minute it drops. As long as I can still write, I'm patient, but I miss connecting with folks online. Kids having to entertain themselves without a screen? How dare you abuse your children! (giggle) There's still a lot of story to tell. I've been trying to look at the story objectively, to figure out what could have been cut. I can't find anything that doesn't impact the story in some small way. Maybe my scope was too big, but I have problems writing short stories.
Date: 03 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27 Changing Roles
You know what I really like about your story, no matter what, you always manage to somehow surprise me. I figured Bella and Dora would make some kind of peace with on another, but I never thought it would be the way you spun it. That was a pleasant surprise. I really like the relationship between the two.
I laugh every time I get the next chapter because you always answer all my thoughts or questions.
I really really really loved all the Bella/Carlisle interactions this chapter. It made me so happy to see. I admit I am a little nervous for when Bella tells Carlisle what happened with Aro. I know they have come so far and nothing really happened....but yeah, I just want that whole mess resolved.
I really loved this chapter, it was one of my favorites.
Author's Response:
In this story, I embraced the twists. Sometimes it surprised me with how it turned. Dora was supposed to be a plot device, try to kill Bella, then go on her merry way. Someone forgot to tell her the plan. Right now Dora has no one, and Bella came at the right time, and fits that empty spot. She could do the same with Aro's children, but she sort of has to take Aro in the bargain. One thing Bella never did with Dora, was misrepresent herself. She never lied to her, and she let her know she didn't want to be her master or see her dead. She wasn't afraid to tell her when she was being a brat, and she made reasonable demands of her. When she tells her she's pretty, she reminds her of her mother; the only one who complimented her.
It's funny, but sometimes in answering questions, I learn new things about the story or characters. Sometimes I find that I didn't write it as clearly as I thought, and give it a tweak. I've had some really good ideas come from questions, because readers see things with new eyes. It's a pity Meyer didn't have the benefit of chapter by chapter pre-readers. Then again, if she did, there wouldn't be so many loose threads, unfleshed-out characters, and plot holes for us to play with.
In this story, Bella and Carlisle eventually won over the readers, even those who were squicked out by the idea in the beginning. For those who were reluctant, I knew I had to go slow, and keep it realistic. I've read my share of stories where Bella is paired with someone new, and right away they're tossed in bed, like it's a natural thing. Twilight is a story about Bella and Edward, and anything else must be done delicately. I want to make sure to pay proper homage to what went before, and tell a mature story.
I'm glad you loved the chapter; I hope the rest work just as well.
Date: 05 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 28: Chapter 28 Janna Dora
Ugh...I got behind. Sometimes I think I over think. I read the chapter, sit on it awhile, then go back and review. I blame my slight ocd tendencies for my oddness. Sometimes I worry I may repeat myself in my reviews, but you really do weave an amazingly complex tale. I mean it just blows me away. I mean the things these poor children were put through just kills me. These kids have every right to be mad and horrible, yet they aren't. There is anger and they act out, but at the same time they are still good. I think most people wouldn't be able to function. I find I admire them for what they are becoming. I imagine there are some that aren't great people, but the ones you are showing, I admire them.
Janna has truly come a long way. Bella has helped too. I like that she gave Janna all the information about her family. She makes that extra effort, not many would. I especially liked her idea about finding information for the hybrid children. I just really like your Bella. Yeah, she has her own issues, but you make her likeable, you give her personality, no matter if it is flawed or not.
I swear I sound like such a fan girl, but I just love watching the story unfold. I mean these poor vampires and hybrids suffered such pain, but for the most part they overcome it. I seriously doubt S.M. could have done this with the story, which is sad because this is compelling. I actually root for the characters.
I loved how this chapter ended, with Bella fully realizing she loved Janna and would do anything to help her, that is a mother. I love their new relationship dynamic. I was so proud of her jumping in and telling the doctor he would fix it. I was fist pumping.
Author's Response:
Oops, looks like falling behind is contagious. Slight OCD... let's just call that detail oriented. I don't mind repeating; I know I have that issue myself, and I'm trying to tell a story. When I edit, I catch myself using the same words or phrases, or even retelling something I already wrote. Previously, Rosalie had her face healed twice; it took me three editing passes to finally catch it. When I posted it before, I had a running list of mistakes I'd made, like catching the sun through the window, when previously the room had no windows.
The hybrids were put through so much. I look at what some of the kids in concentration camps went through, and it's scary that fiction is sometimes too close to reality. Even today, child soldiers are sometimes forced to kill their own families. My imagination learns too much from the news. There are many of the hybrids who are horrible, but we haven't seen them yet. Janna and Aro's children did have the benefit of having at least one parent. It wasn't much, but it did help some. The Cullens are responsible for improving their lives and giving them a fighting chance. They turned their training academy into a real school, they forced the fathers to take responsibility for them. They're trying to stop some of the worst behaviors. They're trying to get them educated, and into jobs, careers, and productive lives.
I have trouble keeping Bella in canon. I don't like her as she's written, and if I keep her the same, I want to kill her off. I try to find a balance between keeping some of her annoying traits, while giving them reasons, and showing how she overcame some of them. In the books she seemed too self-centered to me, as well as obsessed with youth and beauty. (her youth, Edward's beauty) She's still got some of that, but there's always someone or something ready to smack her down if it gets too inflated. Arianna gives her a strong reminder that having youth and beauty isn't much when you compare it to all she's suffered. It's also easier to write her as a thirty year-old, rather than a teen. Armando burst her bubble when he was repulsed by the idea of dating someone that old.
I wasn't sure where the story was going when I started out. I sort of wanted to pair Bella with my favorite vampire, and see if I could get away with it. The war was another experiment, since everyone says you can't kill off the original characters and bring in your own. Heh! Once the story got rolling, and it was overflwing with angst, I realized I'd off myself if I had to read too many grief-filled chapters. I like tearjerkers, but too much turns into a pity party, and becomes annoying. One baby step at a time, this became a story of recovery, forgiveness, renewal, and perseverance. I didn't expect that. I typically write by the seat of my pants, with some idea of where I'm going. It stands to reason there are twists and turns; I can get lost even with GPS.
Bella is very much this girl's mother now. I liked the idea of Bella having a little vampire intimidation. The doctor is Volterani, so he knows what she is, and he's seen her increasingly more involved with Janna. He wasn't going to mess with her.
Date: 05 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 29 Hospital
Holy freaking cow Batman! I'm breaking my own little wait and let it sit before I review, but goodness you packed a lot in here. I am going to end up forgetting to comment about something, but I couldn't wait. I ran the emotional gamut this go around. I was so happy for Bella's epiphany. She deserves to be happy. I think that has to be the hardest thing, realizing it is ok to be happy again. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting and it doesn't lessen their love and that was an important lesson to learn. I feel like now she can move forward with Carlisle, now she gets it.
I wanted to kick Aro's butt for being such a little prick, but I think Bella handled him perfectly. And when she declared Dora dead but Janna Cullen alive, well I might have gave an inner cheer or 5. Bless poor Alice. I imagine e she hated keeping the visions from Bella, but she did the right thing. I am glad Bella snapped out of the anger. I am over the moon excited Carlisle was there (I had a stupid grin on my face) and his words about saving their girl....my heart just about exploded with happiness.
I truly hope Janna survives this. I don't think you have finished with her quite yet, so I remain hopeful. Bella has a way with bonding, I can only imagine what other kids she will "adopt".
I was proud of how she handled the bleeding child, that was impressive. It also goes to show choosing Carlisle is where she belongs. And then Jasper.....I love myself some Jasper and I was so happy Alice sent him to help Bella while Carlisle was saving their daughter. You really worked over my emotions with this one and you made me a liar....this is my new favorite chapter. (:
Author's Response:
(giggling) This is one of the reasons I love to write. Bella couldn't say the words, "Edward's dead," before. She was ready to go on, but now she's discovered that she can let him go, and still hold him dear. It's another one of those steps she had to take toward healing.
Aro is such a wonderful weasel! He still doesn't get it. He's still mourning, but not for a lost love, but for what used to be. He really did lose a lot, from wife, friends, coven, his "collection," and his power and position. He's also lost his wealth, his standing among vampires, the heirarchy, and his dignity. He keeps trying to hold on to what was, and reclaim what he had. Everything he lost was all he knew, and he doesn't know how to move forward.
Aro is more conscious of the significance of Bella claiming Janna, since she is Caius' daughter. Caius would have killed Renesmee, and now that he's dead, Bella claims his daughter.
Alice has so much going through her mind. She keeps most of her visions a secret, so she doesn't influence the outcome. There's also privacy to consider. I think while Edward was alive, she revealed more of her visions, because he had the power to read them. Now she's trying to hold it all in, and without Jasper by her side, she's still struggling.
Bella has come a long way since her teenage years. The bleeding child was a good indicator of how strong her resistance is. I think it helped to have so many great examples around her, as well as resisting the hybrids.
There's still a lot more story to tell, and more over-worked emotions. Thank you so much for your kind and enthusiastic reviews.
Date: 10 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30 Passions
I really liked the Jasper and Bella bits this chapter. I like their bond and how they interact with one another. It was nice to see how he was able to put things in perspective for Bella, even if she still had the meltdown at the end. With her thoughts on marriage and then the belief she isn't as good as Esme, yeah, I could see why she freaked out.
So....Carlisle had his own little confession too....nicely done. You did that in such a way that I couldn't even be mad at him. In the same respect, now they know how they feel about one another.
I really like how Carlisle is stepping in there for Bella and Janna.....that's why I think they work so well. They just compliment each other. Can't wait to go read to find out if Bella is going to accept Carlisle's proposal. Yeah....gonna go do that.....now....
Author's Response:
The exchange between Jasper and Bella felt a little magical to me when I wrote it. In the series, we didn't get to see enough of Jasper, beyond being a predator and a military leader. I really like getting deeper into his psyche, and showing his depth. The way Jasper is in this story, he would probably have made a good partner for Bella, if Alice was gone. But he's also a really good friend to her, especially when Alice can't be there. As much as Bella loves Carlisle, taking the place of his wife is tough. She's had more than ten years of seeing him with Esme. She fell in love with Carlisle, the man, but marrying him changes the whole dynamic of their family.
Maybe Carlisle kissing Colette seems like cheating, or like he's not loyal to Bella. But he'd told her it was over, and he was trying to prove he wasn't in love with her. Instead it proved he was. If Colette had pinged the meter, it would prove what he had with Bella was only physical. He also had to tell Colette that he wasn't interested in her, and he loved Bella.
Carlisle is familiar with the way Bella is adopting Janna. It's a lot like what Esme did with all the kids. Carlisle might have brought them home, but she was the one who made them family. He really understands the way she's bonded with Janna; he felt it with Edward.
Date: 10 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31 Family Connections
I freaking love Jasper. I love how he teases Bella and tells her she is being an idiot without being cruel. I chuckled at that. I really really love their bond. And then there is Carlisle. I just want to bottle that man up and keep him for myself. I mean seriously....I just freaking love him....and him wanting to go have a little chat with Aro....so very hot as all get out. He might seem all calm and cool, but his attitude this chapter just screams don't mess with me and mine. Cue stupid grin on my face when reading that. Carlisle is quite persistent....I like that he isn't willing to back down....and boy oh boy does he get frisky....I love that Janna called them out....the banter was great. I feel so bad for Janna though, poor girl can't catch a break. I am glad she will have Bella and Carlisle to help her recovery. She needs them and I think she will make a good addition to the family. She deserves something good.
Ok, it was really hard to play off my squeal of happiness when Bella said she would marry Carlisle and then when he gave her his proposal. I don't think even a nun could resist that man. And then he calls Charlie....oh my....It is getting ready to get entertaining....I love it.
I'm just going to quit trying to choose a favorite chapter...you are killing me. I did love the playful, goofy Carlisle. He was just all kinds of awesome this chapter.
Author's Response:
It tickles me to no end when readers 'get it' and understand what I'm trying to say. I sort of imagine that the Jasper in the books was a lot more restrained with Bella. She was forbidden fruit to him, plus she was very much a teenager, and he's much older. With Edward's protectiveness, I can easily see him keeping his distance, even while they shared family and sometimes a house. But now he's unleased, and he's embracing his family like never before. He's fully stepping into the role of being part of the Cullen family, from embracing Carlisle like a brother, son, and friend, to treating Bella like his beloved sister. That teasing he shared with Bella, is kind of like he might have behaved with Emmett or Edward. They're close enough now, they can even say the hard things to each other.
I love writing Carlisle, because there's so little about him in the books, and I can create him as I see him. He's so multi-faceted, and yet he's very much the same as he was when he was human. He still wants a simple life, with love and family. But he's almost four hundred years old, and he's got history, and heartbreak, and compassion to spare. He's been around, but he's only been in love two other times, and Bella is all he can think about now. Seeing him a little jealous, proves he's not as self-assured and polished as he might seem on the surface. I wanted to show that he's not perfect beneath the family leader facade. He still makes mistakes, but he's willing to fix them and learn from them.
He sees Aro as more of an equal than anyone else, even though Aro's so much older. They have history together, and he's not intimidated by him. He wants to talk to him, and set him straight on his family. Aro's crossed the line a few too many times, and Carlisle isn't going to put up with it.
Janna wants to be a part of a loving family. It's the reason she wanted to kill Bella--she thought she was the one responsible for her mother's death. Her early memories are of a mother and father who loved her, and she's seeing that in Bella and Carlisle. Janna's gift might be making people puppets, but her real talent, is seeing and hearing things when no one realizes she's listening. She's the fly on the wall, so of course she would hear them fooling around when they didn't expect it. With Bella and Carlisle helping her, she's got the support system she's always wanted.
Bella wasn't ready to say she'd marry him, but watching him with Janna, seeing him work so hard to help someone he barely knew--for her, that did it. That made her realzie she wanted to be part of his family, not just share his bed. The call to Charlie just had to happen. He's too old-fashioned not to follow tradition. I'm a sucker for playful, goofy men. He's got some mistakes to make up for, so I like that he's extra sweet now. He's all in now; no more second guesses and running away.
Date: 14 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 32: Chapter 32 Notifications
I have always wondered how Charlie could be an effective police chief when he couldn't even see all the supernatural around him. I mean good grief man. Charlie's reaction wasn't surprising. I had figured that was what his reaction would be.
Renee was absolutely hysterical. I loved her. She was what she should have been in the books. Renee's reaction is more what I expected from Charlie, but I guess denial is easier for him. I like that Renee is happy for Bella, and supportive...they need that.
Nessie....well...kind of saw that coming. From the child perspective I can understand. Edward is her dad and Carlisle is her grandfather....those are the roles they play. Now her mom is in love with her grandfather....yeah, that would probably turn most people into a hot raving mess. That said, they aren't human and these were just roles. Not sure how they will be able to get Nessie to see this. Considering how well Nessie took the news I can only imagine Jacob's reaction. I have never really liked him...so I am not holding out much hope.
I am glad Bella realizes she can survive without Carlisle....She just doesn't want to....that is an important distinction. I like the stronger characters. I like them so much better.
Author's Response:
I think Charlie has a bit of Lois Lane syndrome. Just like she couldn't tell Clark Kent was Superman, even though she was an award winning reporter, Charlie doesn't know what's going on in the supernatural world, right under his nose. In another story I wrote, a lot of the plot hinged on normal humans, just being unwilling to see what was right before their eyes. If I had a man in my living room on Christmas Eve, wearing a red, fur-lined suit, I wouldn't think Santa Clause, I'd think burglar. If I saw a real alien spacecraft hovering over my backyard, I'd think a helecopter was flying too low. We're conditioned to find rational reasons for out of the ordinary things. I like how Carlisle puts it here, that they really do know something's different and dangerous about them, but they suppress those feelings. The thing that I questioned about Charlie, was how he didn't realize Bella had a boy in her room every night. That's a dad's job to know. Maybe his radar wasn't installed properly.
Renee in my eyes has always been flighty, unreliable, and a little child-like. But she's also intuitive, passionate, and loving. She doesn't see Carlisle's age, or everything that's wrong with their relationship, she just sees someone who makes her happy. The conventions of marriage might bother her, but now that Bella's older, she's fine with letting her decide for herself.
Nessie still has some grief issues to deal with. She wants to be happy for them, but she still misses her daddy and grandma. Just like a little kid, she thinks if they get married, it means it's final, and they're really gone. Strangely, I didn't see Jacob having a problem with it. He's actually his real age of nearly thirty, so he's got some maturity to see what's important. He also has the whole drama with Billy and Embry to show him what's wrong with trying to keep secrets and make the family look perfect to those on the outside. He missed out on having Embry as his brother.
I try to write the characters a bit stronger, especially Bella. It's a fine line to walk, to keep them canon, and allow some good changes. Carlisle keeps encouraging Bella, trying to show her she can be strong, and handle what life throws at her. He's not Edward, coming to her rescue all the time.
Date: 14 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 33 Slow Healing
So, that crow I just ate tasted nasty. You couldn't make Jake act all holier than thou....you had to make him...nice and understanding. That was mean. Nessie is going to try to be supportive. I think that is a good start. It has to be hard for her, especially learning her dad wasn't always a perfect man. Of course it is probably a good idea to not let her know how her Jake once loved Bella. They could be an episode of Jerry Springer if they wanted - it is sad my mind went there right off the bat, but seriously the episode would be so good.
I like how Bella handled the conversation with Nessie. I like that she wouldn't choose who she loves more - that shows how Bella has grown because once upon a time she would have answered...just like she did between Edward and Jake. Her answers and reactions show how she has matured.
I am glad to see Janna improving. Carlisle's tough love was the right call. It is hard for a parent not to coddle and he was able to go into his doctor zone and make her work on getting better. Carlisle truly is just a good man. He isn't perfect but he is good and that means something.
So, can't wait to see how Nessie reacts to Janna. I hope she will be wise enough to understand she isn't being replaced, but I am not overly confident in that. I feel bad saying it, but Nessie is a selfish being. I don't think it is malicious, I think it comes from her life. She didn't suffer like the other hybrids. Yes, she lost her father and some members of her family, but she didn't suffer nearly as much or in the way the other hybrids have suffered. That was the thought I had going while reading. I don't think she is a nasty person, I just think she is incredibly naive about how lucky she is. I am not sure how aware of everything she is, so that is just my snap impression.....
I was happy to see Ari apologize. Both Janna and Ari have every right to be bitter but they both seem to want to move past it all.
Aro....oh what can I say about him?! His reaction was amusing to say the least. Hopefully everything he saw through Janna's memories causes him to back off now, but I will reserve judgement on that for now. I am looking forward to the "discussion" between Carlisle and Aro though...they have a lot to clear the air over.
Author's Response:
I'd never make anyone eat crow. It's fiction, and it's easy to see the same thing from two different angles. I actually like Jake. He suffered from teenage inexperience in the books, but I thought he was the most realistic character of them all. I liked him better in New Moon, when he was such a good (though reckless) friend to Bella. Later when he kept trying to be more, it was a little irritating. But at least he was all in, and since Edward was the one to leave and break her heart, I could appreciate that kind of committment. Carlisle saved Jakes life, so he's a little soft where he's concerned. Twelve years ago, he might have reacted differently, but the losses in the war were heavy on all sides, and he's looking at what's more important for the survivors. He also loves his wife and family, and Bella is history, so there's no competition there like before.
Nessie has a few illusions that everyone's left her with, and that's coloring her views a bit. She doesn't really know how close Bella and Jake were, since Jake's and Bella's memories of that time have faded. The Cullens remember, but they also know Bella was always in love with Edward. This could really be a Jerry Springer episode all around.
Bella has come to the point that she wouldn't be able to choose between Edward and Carlisle. To do that, she had to fully acknowledge that Edward is dead and not coming back. Nessie isn't there yet. No one could force Bella to get over her mourning, and Nessie has some healing she has to get through on her own. They've got a little of that denial in common.
Janna has a long way to go. I sort of pictured the physical therapy like the old Karate Kid -- "wax on, wax off" until she was frustrated and ready to give up. Then later she could see what she was really working for. Carlisle's a great doctor, and he's not used to anyone questioning his judgment. He knows what Janna is dealing with, and he was ready for her to fight him over the physical therapy. Losing her abilities is a little like a death, and she reacted to it.
Nessie reacting to Janna didn't happen in this story. But I'm thinking that might have been an oversight. I'll take a second look at it when I get there, and maybe see what happens. There were so many characters to follow by the end, it might have slipped my mind. With both of them living adult lives, I don't see much issue. Then again Janna might see Ness as living the charmed life, while she bore the consequences of being Volterra's hybrid. Hmmm....
Nessie's a little selfish, but I think it's because she was sheltered until the war. She had the Cullens wrapped around her fingers, and Jake at her beck and call. She's very naive, since she only knows a little of the drama that happened before she was born. It's not exactly something you'd tell a child, though I'm sure Jake has shared a few tales. I see her with a lot of Bella's characteristics, like when she showed up to be part of their war defenses. She's stubborn and knows how to get her own way. Edward also spoiled her a little. I think she's got some unrealistic ideas, and doesn't understand what Carlisle and Bella mean to each other. She understands imprinting, but not the kind of love between the others.
Ari and Janna have so much in common, but none of it is good. Ari has finally come to realize that Janna wasn't his willing accomplice. Seeing her as a victim, makes what she did all the more horrible. Over and over, I see these hybrids fighting to get past the pain. I'm not sure why that is, but maybe it's got something to do with the resilience of youth. They've had to fight from the moment of their birth, first just to survive, then to get their needs met. A little bit of light and happiness goes a long wiay with them.
Aro is having a lot of issues himself. Losing Bella and Alce took more of a toll than anyone realizes. He's backsliding, and the expectation that someone has to share their memories with him is a good example. Still lots of fun ahead, and thanks again for reading and reviewing.
Date: 21 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 37: Chapter 37 Nothing Left
That was bloody brilliant. That was my first thought. There wasn't enough of my mind left to be blown, but the little left was amazed. Bella....well she quite frankly kicks ass. What she did was horrible and beautiful all at the same time. I mean I know Aro was making her suffer and she shut it down, but that was masterfully done. She took away her quite mind and forced Aro to see everything. Even better is the fact he has perfect vampire memory so there is no way he can forget. That is karma and it kicked his condescending butt.
Bella was just amazing. Her fury was awe inspiring. Hello hath no fury indeed. I liked that she was finally pushed to be a vampire. Not that she wasn't before, but she is fierce now. I am glad she did what she did and I am glad for any suffering Aro had because of what he saw. He is a bully and that's it. I almost died when Bella bit Cipriana. Again...good for her. (I sound vicious and all kinds of mean today..geesh).
I feel bad for his kids, but they don't need to be around him. I hope for everyone's sake Carlisle is put back together soon because he is the only one who can get through to Bella at this point.
Don't apologize for where you took the story.....that was such a wrench in everything. I literally sat there going wtf for a few minutes. Life isn't always unicorns and rainbows. Aro was never going to go quietly into a new era. Was it shocking? Uh, yeah. Am I glad nothing worse has happened yet? Definitely. Twists like that just make we want to see how you are going to fix it even more. That said, my favorite line was when Bella asked Alice didn't you see that coming? I laughed so hard. Yeah, inappropriate but my mind was still mushy.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the grins and giggles. Bella is finally starting to believe Carlisle, and realize she's tougher than she thinks. She used the only weapon she had, and she didn't stop until he was running for reinforcements. I was planning to have someone rescue her, but I was delighted when she learned to rescue herself. He won't be able to forget how deeply she loves Carlisle. Even if Carlisle dies, he only gets her corpse. She doesn't have any reason to play nice now. She didn't care about her clothes when she attacked Aro, or that Jasper might see her naked. Her focus is on one thing only. Attacking Cipriana was one of those Karma things, and biting her finger to get her ring was a bit of payback.
Aro's kids still have a part to play. They're hybrids too, so they don't want to see Volterra go back to the way it was.
I think this turn of events almost needed a warning label. I've read stories where I just wanted to toss the book when something horrible happens. I've also read stories where I just freaking love a good surprise. It depends on how it's done, whether it fits, and whether I trust the writer. I finished my last book of Game of Thrones, and wanted to toss it. I like the series, in spite of the character deaths. But the last attack (trying not to give spoilers) left me in shock. I think I know where he's going with it, but I feel a little betrayed by George, especially when it could take him years to write the next book in the series.
Apologies or not, I wouldn't change it. I know there are people who quit reading a romance, after the wedding. They won't make that mistake with this one. I'm still the evil writer who killed off so many characters right from the beginning.
Date: 31 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 38: Chapter 38 Search and Rescue
Bella certainly is collecting kids in Volterra isn't she?! She is like a vampire Angelina (my lack of sleep is showing isn't it).
Cipriana is a hot mess. If ever there was a person that should not have been turned it is that one.
I felt so bad for Bella and Carlisle...what Aro did to both of them is horrible and it just proves he isn't firing on all cylinders right now. I am hoping the memories will come back....shhh....don't tell me. I just felt so bad for them, they can't catch a break.
So, this review is shorter than normal. That's cause all my good intentions went out the window this week when my kids went off the reservation and took the train to crazy town....sigh....I am going to stay on top of it next time....I hope.
I still wanna rip Aro and Cipriana into tiny pieces and maybe play mix and match with their parts.
Author's Response:
If they don't get back home soon, Bella's liable to have a whole bus full of orphans. I don't read enough tabloids to know whether i admire Angelina, or doubt her. I love the idea of adopting kids from other countries, especially those with no one and no hope. If she's being a real mom, I love that. But if it's just nanny's and press....nah.
Cipriana is a mess. She gets to tell her side later.
Bella and Carlisle have been through so much. Things like this either tear couples apart, or bond them together. Bella almost allowed it to come between them, then she realized she could never let go.
With kids, anything can happen. I've been on that train to crazytown a time or two....hundred. There's this myth, that as soon as they're toddling they'll be easier...as soon as they're potty trained...as soon as they're in preschool....as soon as they're in that next stage of development, things will get easier. No. It never gets easier. Just as soon as you start to get a handle on one stage, the next one slaps you sideways, and you start from the bottom of the learning curve. Mine are 18 and 22, and I look back at the 'terrible two's' with longing. I miss those easy elementary school years, and I even miss the pre-teens. Like the book says: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." Crazytown's not so bad, they've got good french fries, and you don't have to make the beds.
Hmmm....a Cipri-aro puzzle. He might like having ta-tas to play with, and she'd probably appreciate a johnson.
Date: 31 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 39: Chapter 39 Mangled Memories
I felt my heart break for Bella and Carlisle. I mean I know it is going to work out because you aren't that cruel, but wow they need to catch a break.
I am proud of Bella though. She could've just said to check with this and just walked away. The fact that she didn't counts for a lot....it shows how she has grown. She did good. Sometimes you just have to hold on tight and just say bring it. She is going to get Carlisle back.
Aro.....wow, just wow. It's like he has taken a vacation from reality. I think Aurora explained it great. I do feel a smidge of sympathy for Aro. I mean between the war, the aftermath, his gift, and everything else happening....well I am amazed he didn't snap sooner. I mean he has truly lost everything. He still has his kids, but he isn't really equipped to help them. Bella could and she refused him. He lost Alice (because you know she won't ever touch him again). All those visions just gone. And to him it all comes back to Carlisle....just wow. His slip into crazy was simple and complex all at the same time. I still want to play mix and match with parts though. (;
Author's Response:
The memory loss just seemed reasonable. I mean if they can be beheaded and still mend, there had to be some kind of trade-off. I can blame a little of this on a previous reader. She mused, if he can't remember, then they've got to fall in love all over again, and it could add to that wonderful sexual tension and anticipation. I'd already planned the missing memories, but she gave me the fun side to play with. Bella isn't going to give up on him. One thing she has even in canon, is her tenacity when it comes to the one she loves.
It bugs me how Aro took center stage at this point in the story. Part of me wanted to kick him to the curb and close that curtain, but he wouldn't let me. He has a story that needs to be finished, and he's not going quietly. He's lost everything that mattered to him, and he still hasn't learned to deal with what's left. I think there's also a lot of guilt over how Volterra has fallen. There's a great temptation to let the Cullens put an end to him. I probably didn't explain it well enough why they don't. He is the living memory of the past. He has so many memories stored in his mind, killing him is like burning down a library of rare books. He's also a strong figurehead, and the old vampires still look to him for guidance. If he was gone, they'd probably disappear themselves.
Aro and Carlisle are not likely to ever be friends again. Even if he didn't see ghosts of Joham in Carlisle, they've both come to see just how different they really are. Carlisle isn't going to forget how many times Aro messed with his love or his family. Carlisle doesn't want him dead, but he sees him as a junkyard dog that can never be trusted.
Date: 31 Aug 2014 Title: Chapter 40: Chapter 40 Volterra's First Hybrids
I am glad to see Carlisle progressing with healing and getting his memories back, well, seeing the memories from Bella's side anyway.
You certainly do make your story lively. I mean wow...I wasn't expecting Colette's dad...just wow. It is all so twisted and crazy. I kind of like that I can still be surprised. I am surprised the hybrids aren't all bat crazy. I mean that is messed up. Understatement of the year, but good grief. I can definitely see why Gemma's memory is gone and Colette I assume is ignorant too....knowing what happened and where they came from would destroy them and no one deserves that.
It seems the ones that died in the war are the lucky ones. I mean they do not have to face the horrors or deal with helping anyone heal.....if that even makes sense (I am a wee bit sleepy so I stop making sense).
Author's Response:
Carlisle's right, and it's our memories that make us who we are. Without his memories of his and Bella's courtship, he doesn't know what it should look like. He has her memories, and he knows it all really happened, but he doesn't feel it. It kind of reminds me of "Fifty First Dates."
I did mention when Bella first met Colette that she was Joham's daughter. At the time, I think it went unnoticed because Joham was little more than a name then, and no one knew how terrible he really was. Colette doesn't remember how bad Joham treated her. Angelo took some of those memories from her. The hybrids have all got horrible memories, but I like to think they're still resilient like children. Colette's a bit older, since she was created before Joham came to Volterra. She also remembers a loving grandmother.
Gemma went through a lot at Volterra. Any of those who were kept under the city got a double dose of Joham's evil. Joham never would have thought he was evil. He believed he was winning a war that would have come to him, if he hadn't gone to Volterra. He had no love for the Volturi, and the hybrids they created were just tools. What he dod to Colette was necessary to further his goals.
Years ago, I played D&D, and there's a spell magic users can cast, called charm person. There was always debate on what a charmed person would do. Usually it was simple stuff, like allow the group to pass unopposed, or maybe unlock a cell where they're being kept. Then there were greater versions of this spell, that would allow the spellcaster to completely control the charmed person. They could even suggest their 'friend' kill themselves, and there was a good chance they would. What Joham has starts off as a weak version of the lesser spell, and like Aurora's gift, it grows stronger the longer he's around someone. Even Joham wasn't sure where his power began and normal will stopped. It made it impossible for him to find a mate, but he had lots of willing partners. In many cases, the charmed one both loves and hates him, depending on what he's asking of them. He doesn't even realize when he's asking too much of them. He was a bit obsessed with the ruling triumvirate, and wanted to put himself in the top spot. Volterra was like the White House, or Buckingham Palace to him, and he wanted legitimate reasons to be there. Linking himself to the leaders through their children was his plan. Sick and twisted.
Date: 01 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 41: Chapter 41 New Beginning
I laughed when I read the swing story. We used to do that too - it was so much fun. Of course I would cringe if my kids did it.
Well, I can see why Aro is slipping now. To have memories removed like that is bound to have some sort of negative effect, even if it takes a while.
I think Aurora is a good choice to lead. Yes, she is Aro's daughter, but I think she would be fair. How he will react I am guessing I will find out next chapter.
Poor Bella and Carlisle, every single time they try to reconnect something or someone interrupts. There was big progress though with him admitting he loves her and both vowing to never let go.
Felicia is a trip. I loved that Carlisle was quick to get the vampire to sign his rights away...nice move. Felicia, for all her denials seems to like the attention. Going from being neglected to having people who care and follow through on their promises....that is going to help her tremendously.
Author's Response:
We'd use two swings, and twist them together. Our playground was asphalt, and most of us had skinned up knees from the playground. We did all kinds of crazy things. I think knee socks were popular, because they hid the scabs. My daughter is the one who had a carpet of wood chips. She got in trouble for hanging upside-down on the chin-up bar. I told her we used to sit on them, hook our arms underneath, and spin. She doesn't believe me, but we got away with all kinds of dangerous stuff back in the day.
Aro is a messed up piece of work. I've had a lot of fun fleshing him out in my outtake. He's not exactly sympathetic, but he's at least interesting.
Aurora should be able to get the hybrids on her side, and the old vamps will respect her because she's Aro's little girl. She's also got that mind reading thing, so people won't be able to snow her for long.
Bella and Carlisle need to get away from there. They want to reconnect, but Volterra is pulling them and stealing their time. It's the same thing Carlisle has been dealing with for two years, but it's different now that he has something else he'd rather be doing.
Felicia came as a surprise when I wrote her. Since Cipriana was new, it was reasonable that she'd have a hybrid child running around. I just didn't picture her to be the mothering type. Felicia is a good example of what many of the hybrids have been through. They've had to raise themselves, and even though Alice had the training facility turned into a school, it's impssible to force them to go, when they know how to disappear. I think Aurora will have a better handle on that issue in the future. Felicia came out with this powerful little voice, and she demanded to be heard.
Date: 01 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 42: Chapter 42 Madness
Ok, I have gone almost full the full range of emotions regarding Aro. I have been fascinated. I have been creeped the check out. There was full out anger. Now though, I actually feel for him. Not pity, but I just sincerely feel bad for him. I mean he tried, he really truly tried. Is he still a murderer....oh heck yeah. But he tried to resist Joham. He tried keeping his family safe. To witness what he did....anyone would snap. He suffered along with everyone else. I don't think anyone truly understands that, well I guess Bella does now. I just wanted to cry for him. It doesn't take away all he has done, but in my eyes it makes him a little less of a monster.
I am glad Bella told Aro about his son and grandson. She didn't have to, especially after everything he did to her and Carlisle, but she did. She showed compassion and I was proud of her.
Seeing Carlisle on the cusp of all out feral was a nice. I'm weird, I know. Every once in a while people just deserve to let it all out....Carlisle was overdue. Aro knew what buttons to push and he pushed them. I still felt for Aro though....so that was definitely a good job for you....making me feel beyond my anger. :)
Author's Response:
Aro is one of the most complicated characters I've written. He may be Meyer's creation, but I've had so much fun making him more than just a caricature to oppose the Cullens. When I started writing his history, he had so much more depth. What everyone sees on the surface, barely scratches what's going on in his mind. He's not sympathetic; he's still a conniving little blood-sucker, and he's technically a serial killer. But he has tried to salvage some scruples through it all. Over and over again, he's had dreams that were snatched out of his hands. He's longed to find someone who would love him. He has that with Aurora, and he's just discovered he had it with his son, Angelo. He tried to save his family from Joham, and he managed to keep Aurora out of his grasp. She's exactly what Joham hoped Nessie could be--a telepath.
Bella is thoroughly disgusted with Aro, and she wants to hang onto her anger a little while longer. Her memory of those events isn't going to fade, but maybe when enough good memories occupy her mind, she'll be able to forgive him. He's got to prove he's worthy of it. As much as she mistrusts him, she knows he's a key player in the lives of his children. She knows he loves his children, and without him they'll be at the mercy of whoever controls Volterra. Maybe in a few years it won't matter, but even when they're physically mature, they still have a lot to learn, and they're not ready to be on their own.
Carlisle losing it seemed right to me. He's got a lot to be upset with Aro about, and that old leech worked hard to push his buttons. I never liked Carlisle in canon. Good, compassionate, pacifictic, and gentle, are such one-sided characteristics, there just had to be more to him. Rising above and taking the high road is a choice, and it's not always easy. This is still a man who has suffered loses, and still grieves, so his buttons are a lot more sensitive. Just like when he slapped Bella in the beach house when she wanted him to kill her, Aro reminding him of Gabriella's death pushed him over the edge. It's that casual disregard for life that gets him. Even if Gabriella was everything Aro said she was, it didn't give him the right to play God and have her destroyed. That's Carlisle's hot button.
Date: 14 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 43: Chapter 43 Cost of Living
So, Bella and Carlisle...how about that chemistry. They have it in spades. I love seeing Carlisle so uninhibited. I always hated how he was portrayed in the books and movies. No offense to the actor cause I love him in other stuff, but he just wasn't Carlisle. Your Carlisle still has the maturity that comes with being on earth for hundreds of years, but he still manages to act like a young guy....it's nice. And the vampire stamina....it would kill a mere mortal.
So, I felt a little for Cipriana, then she opened her mouth and I lost some of the sympathy. If ever someone should not be allowed to have children it would have been her. The trauma she suffered gives her a wee bit of my pity, but her attitude just makes me want to throttle her something fierce.
So, I am a wee bit behind. Every time a new update came through I wanted to cry because I couldn't get to it. I may have tried telling my kids my name was no longer mom....I can neither confirm nor deny.
Author's Response:
I was surprised they would have chemistry. But then again, I get to play with them both, and write them like I want them. I just assume that since his character was all buttoned up in canon, then he's got to have a lot suppressed, and need a release. I sort of picture Carlisle as a very young Robert Redford. I had to ditch the old man persona, since it really didn't work with his character. Twenty-three is so young, and Fascinelli is too old for the character as written. I like him too, but not as Carlisle. Then again, Carlisle was barely a side character, and never really fleshed out. I think that's why there's so much Twilight fan fiction out there. Readers could see a lot of potential in these characters, but there was so much focus on Bella and Edward, we barely got a glimpse of anyone else. It always cracks me up when readers get militant about how these minor characters are "supposed" to be, and tell writers they're doing it wrong. I had one reader who was really upset that Carlisle slapped Bella. I guess when the author says he's compassionate, that means in every circumstance, and no matter what he's gone through. People are never so one-dimensional.
Cipriana is one of those people... I think we all know someone like her, always looking out for herself. She's the only one who matters in her story. She had a lot of bad breaks, and life taught her she could only count on herself. But she's gone so far the other direction, she loses any sympathy she had.
I laughed at the idea of telling your kids you're no longer mom. My mom used to say "I've changed my name to shit, and you're not allowed to say it!" Mom is a verb. I know kids can mom you to death, or to insanity.
Date: 14 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 44: Chapter 44 Leaving Volterra
I love Felicia. She might be a foul mouthed little bugger, but she is awesome all the same. I am so glad she is leaving Volterra for now.
So, hopefully Aro can keep his nose clean. His kids deserve better. I was surprised how much I like them, but I guess you really can't judge someone based on their parents. I would hate to be judged by mine. I hope we get more of them in the future.
I really really really love Carlisle. It's like a switched flipped and he is just uncontrollably happy. He is such a little tease (well he follows through so maybe not), but I like seeing him this way, just being carefree and in love. I also am relieved that Carlisle is getting his memories back. Felicia's jokes made me snort out loud...I already said it, but I love her too. Check, I think I loved most everyone this chapter. Well, the ending had me thinking, wow that's awkward. I feel bad for all involved because that who situation just got a lot more complicated. At least it isn't Bella and Carlisle this time. Whew. :)
Author's Response:
Felicia was a surprise to me. I pictured this wild child, but I didn't know how much I'd like her. She doesn't hold anything back, and in this group of refined people, that works like a breath of fresh air. She's so smart, and she knows what her life looks like if she has to stay in Volterra.
Aro's children are all pretty amazing. Aro himself has a colorful past, and he's got a long way to go still.
Carlisle has been in love three times, counting Bella, which is about once every hundrend and twenty-five years. This is new to him, and he's really overwhelmed by all the emotions and feelings she unleashed in him. With Esme he had that respectable parent role to fill, and Gabriella was heartbreak before they even hit their stride. Bella is giving him a chance to be a young man in love, and he's new to it all. Because they're married, he doesn't have to hold back, and she doesn't want him to.
She's also just as crazy in love with him. Edward tried so hard to protect her, and in some ways they had a parent/child relationship. Carlisle treats her like an equal, especially after the big mess in the council, and his decision to split up. Even without those memories, he knows he was wrong. She's stepping into an adult role, learning she can handle challenges, and becoming a real partner. This Bella would be out of place in high school.
There's still a lot of mess to clean up back home. The Cullens have been gone almost constantly for two years.
Date: 14 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 45: Chapter 45 Out of the Ashes
I am ecstatic Alice and Jasper are going to be Felicia's parents. I like that you didn't throw her under Bella and Carlisle. I think this helps make them different than Esme and Carlisle...they played parents to all, but not Bella and Carlisle. I am probably not explaining myself right, but my point is.....I like it. I think Alice and Jasper have a lot to bring to the table. You know, your Alice is one of the few I actually like, even after all that went down. She doesn't flaunt her visions which already makes me like her, but the way she is with Felicia makes me love her. And Jasper, well he just seems made for this. They are what Felicia needs.
I liked seeing Rosalie again. I look forward to more of her now they are back....Garrett too.
I am so going to say this wrong, but here it goes anyway.....I love Esme, but it seems like she really held Carlisle back from being himself. I know they were deeply in love and all, much like Edward and Bella, but it just seems like the trauma she suffered as a human was too great and it carried over without ever getting resolved. Bella and Carlisle have the oddest pillow talk, then again, when you are as close to your spouse as they are it doesn't really matter. I just felt bad for him with his revelations about sex with Esme, and that made me feel weird because they were having some pretty hot sex (made me wonder how on earth my brain puts thoughts together actually).
Author's Response:
I thought it was a neat idea for Alice and Jasper to adopt Felicia. What surprised me was how Alice just stepped into the role. Bella had her hands full with Carlisle and his missing memories, and Felicia was the least of her concerns. Bella started to mother Felicia, but once she got Carlisle back, he was her concern. Alice just seems cut out for this little monster, and Jasper is getting a chance at being a father he never expected. Carlisle needs a chance to be a young man in love, and Bella is giving him that chance. Janna is theirs, but she's fully grown. She needs their support, but not constant supervision. After the kind of split Jasper and Alice went through, Felicia is a little bit of glue to keep them together. Not that they need that, but taking care of her will be something they can do and share together. If they're not united, this little snip will exploit it.
Alice is my least favorite Cullen as she's written. The visions, the shopping, the parties...ugh! She's too much a plot device, and not enough reality. I try to shift the focus away from what bugs me most. In this story, the visions almost destroyed her. I think Aro also used those visions as a way to pry her away from Jasper. I see Alice as much more complicated than she was written. Jasper too for that matter.
Rosalie has evolved into a strong character here. She has had to deal with how little her looks mattered stacked up against all her losses. She's finally ready to live a more authentic life, instead of trying to reach some physical ideal. Gerrett thought she was beautiful, even when she was scarred. He sees her as a survivor.
Esme is one of those characters who is hard to define. I've seen a couple writers who do a good job with her, but usually she's no more interesting than the furniture. She was also miscast with an older actress than her 26 year-old self. I sort of think they both held each other back. They tried too hard to be pillars of the community and parents. Maybe it was so they didn't fall into the traps of being red-eyed vampires, or so they could live next door to werewolves. Whatever the reason, I think they started believing their own press, and got stuck in a middle class rut.
Love scenes used to be my favorite things to write. But then I started trying to make it less descriptive, and more about what's happening between the ears than the legs. It's a tough line to walk, especially with keeping characters true to themselves. Throw in vampire stamina and strength, and it's almost too many balls to juggle, no pun intended. Trying to make a love scene hot, while not the exact same thing every other writer has done, is a challenge.
The idea of talking during or after sex, takes a level of intimacy, and honesty I hope these two have.
Date: 14 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 46: Chapter 46 More Than Healing
If left up to Carlisle I doubt they would get anything done. It's good to see him so happy and it's good to see Bella so happy. I know eventually you are going to throw something at them again, but I am really enjoying their....well I can't really call it peaceful time, because it so isn't peaceful. I was laughing so hard I was shaking when I read the part with Rosalie and Felicia at the beginning....oh it was hysterical.
I liked Carlisle's plan for a private suite for him and Bella, they need and deserve it (or else invest in soundproofing).
I liked how everyone wanted to stick around, I was so happy about Janna, she deserves happiness. Gemma too - the poor woman has faced such nightmares, I am glad she will get to see her other children soon.
Now, I have a bone to pick with you. You need to quit making me like characters I have sworn to despise. Seriously.....let me dislike someone. Ok, so I loathe Cipriana, but who doesn't. Can't you just let me hold on to my dislike for Collette?! Seriously though, I did want to throttle her arse for being a delusional idiot. I felt Bella's annoyance at Colette just not getting it. What she feels for Carlisle isn't love, but respect. After hearing more of her story I finally have that better understanding of her that I was lacking earlier in the story. I truly hope she gives Elezar a chance (I saw that coming when she was healing him, glad I was right for once). I think they could heal each other because she needs healing just as badly. See? Grrr, you made me show empathy for her.....make it stop!!!!!!
All kidding aside, I did enjoy this chapter. I am gonna catch up on the last one in the morning after I have had my coffee and can function properly. (:
Author's Response:
Carlisle doesn't have any responsibilities pulling at him right now. Usually he'd be off to the hospital, or dealing with something related to his career. Maybe he's the only doctor who doesn't play golf? In his mind, he's still a newlywed, and Bella has given him permission to be a little sex-crazed. Rosalie and Felicia would be a scary pair. They can't hide anything from that little girl; she's seen a lot more than she should have while she was in Volterra. The way I think of this Carlisle is a bit aloof. He wandered for a hundred years, he buried himself in his work, and after Esme died, he was ready to become a nomad. He's a solitary being, with no real peers. Edward was his closest friend, and now he doesn't have him. Eleazar is a friend, but Carlisle can't forget that when they needed the Denali to fight Victoria, they turned their backs. The reason was because the wolves killed Laurant, but Laurant would have killed Bella. Now that Carlisle is in love with Bella, that's a stumbling block that's hard to get past. If he wasn't the better man, he and Eleazar wouldn't still be friends. The private suite is a nod to Carlisle's private nature. He actually likes being seen as a sexual man, but he doesn't want to be teased about it.
Everyone is finding a place in this family. Esme was the one who set up the nuclear family structure, and Carlisle isn't likely to follow that plan. Right now they've got a place to live and belong. I think Alice wants to be more like family, especially where the yonger ones are concerned. They're still new, but I'm sure eventually they'll form loving bonds like the Cullens before them.
I'm a big fan of redeeming characters. But I also like writing stories where it's not clear why someone is behaving badly. Too many readers are looking for characters who start off one way, and remain predictable throughout the story. I don't work that way. I love characters to grow, change, make mistakes, learn from them, and surprise us. For at least one, this story ended when Carlisle slapped Bella back on the island. They couldn't see past this flaw, and they didn't trust me to show how this could still work out. I love writing stories where it's not all clear from the beginning, and changes have to happen before the end rolls around. Colette is one of those characters who had secrets that made her easy to dislike. She was holding onto Carlisle with both hands, because she saw him as her salvation. If Joham lived and she got Carlisle, she would have someone to share the burden of healing with her.
She doesn't think she can love anyone, and she doesn't expect Carlisle to love her. She was hoping that she could give him something she thought he wanted--children. Even though Joham died and she doesn't have to follow his plan, she still can't let go of the one thing that helped her through her time with him. Carlisle was a dream. He means an end to her suffering, and she imagines that if she fulfills Joham's plan, her children will be returned. Eleazar saw her character, and without Carlisle around, he fell for her.
Date: 15 Sep 2014 Title: Chapter 47: Chapter 47 New Family
I freaking love Charlie. He just takes a chilled out attitude even though you know he probably wants to freak out over everything. I like how you show just how much Bella does take after her father, especially with the way they love wholeheartedly.
I also have to say that Carlisle and Bella are just so darn sweet together. I liked their philosophy that if the old memories don't return they will just make new ones. Kind of made me swoon a bit.
I'm not even touching on Nessie yet. Something tells me she will be ticking me off soon, so I am gonna save how much I want to knock the stupid out of her for later.
Yeah, I still can't dislike Colette anymore.....do you know how bad that stinks?! No appreciation for my suffering. I kid.....I like how you explained everything regarding what happened to her. I found myself unable or even unwilling to dislike her.
Ok.....now I have 1 more to go. Of course then I saw your note about only a few more chapters to go.....that made me sad because I have really enjoyed this story. I'll probably just harass you to mess around with S.M.'s sandbox some more. (;
Author's Response:
Charlie is always fun to write. I don't think I'd like him if I knew him: sports nut, fishing nut, quiet, helpless male, disciplinarian, who just doesn't relate to people. But I love writing him. Since to me he seems shallow on the surface, I like to think he's deep. He probably drove Renee nuts, knowing he deeply loved her, but couldn't spend ten minutes talking to her, and never shared any of her passions. I could really see him turing a blind eye to what he saw and knew relating to the Cullens. If he knows, then he's got to do something about it. He's the police chief, he can't just let a bunch of vampires live in his town, especially if he knows some of them are/were murderers.
Carlisle and Bella, the relationship that shouldn't have been. This is what I set out to write, and I was pretty sure it wouldn't work out unless they had to work for it. If Edward or Esme was still alive, I don't think I could pull it off, not in canon. Canon stories are the hardest, because it really is playing in SM's sandbox. If I'm not going to be in her sandbox, I'd rather just write completely original fiction, and not try to do the OOC, AU, AH thing. I don't mean to disparage writers who do that, but they're usuing the actors like dolls, and borrowing the Twilight audience. Many of these writers are better than SM, and I don't begrudge them the following. In all honesty, I just get tired of seeing the same names over and over again.
I liked Colette from the beginning. She's got some learning and growing to do when it comes to how real people act and feel. She wasn't allowed to feel while she was with Joham. She actually thought Eleazar was too good for her. Joham ruined even his own children. Her ability is what made him mate with her. He imagined having others with her ability, but I think she got this from her mother.
This story goes to chapter 51. I've got the outtake on Aro, but it's liable to take me longer to finish it. I've got several stories from SM's sandbox. I'm trying to decide which to post nest. I've got one on Jasper I'm working on, but I still don't know where it's leading--unusual for me. I've got a wicked little story about Edward and Rosalie that happened before Emmett and Bella. I've got an epic romance between Stefan and an original character that was fun to write. And I've got one that earns the naughty rating right from the beginning....probably shouldn't post that one.
Former FBI Special Agent Edward Cullen along former LAPD Homicide Detective and his-now-wife Bella Swan-Cullen; Hoodoo Man Sam Uley and his wife Angela Uley, who is a very powerful psychic; former Chicago Police Captain Emmett Cullen and his wife Lauren Cullen, also a very powerful psychic and sister to Angela Uley, have formed a detective agency, The Down on the Bayou Detective Agency. Come along with them as they investigate the normal, strange and unusual in their files.
Categories: Twilight
Characters: None
Genre: Action
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: None
Chapters: 23 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 31867 Read Count: 13894
Date: 01 Mar 2016 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5-Case File #16 "Un vampir de energie." Part 4
I finally decided to give this series a try, and I am so glad I did. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it at first. I stepped away, even read the prologue to this latest chapter and convinced myself I had to start from the beginning. I like how you have weaved fact in with fiction so effortlessly (at least it seems that way to me). I binge read the series and am now happily caught up. I am excited to see how Bella and Emmett will fit into this new case. Actually, I am just looking forward to more of this story. You are a wonderful story teller, even with the darker themes. (:
Author's Response:
Oh Boy! You have made this ole woman's heart just go into over drive! What a wonderful review. I'd like your permission to publish it on my author's page on Facebook. You just can't imagine how wonderful you have made me feel. Thank you so much!! I hope you'll give some of my other stories a try too, but I have to admit, my FBI Guy has a very specail place in my heart. By the way, I have a FB page where I've posted all my completed stories as PDFs, some even have pictures. Here is the address to that page. Dinia Steel Fan Fiction. TWCS wouldn't let me copy and paste the FB address here, but all you have to do is a searce on FB. Please come and enjoy the completed stories. I've combined the frist two FBI Guy stories into one pdf.
Thank you again. Please let me know if I may use your review. I will not use your name, unless you want me to.
Hard Hugs
Dinia
Date: 02 Mar 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Prologue
Dinia,
Feel free to use my review. People should definitely know to check out your stories.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much. I'd love for everyone to like and read my writing, but I fear I'm not a romance writer and that's what the majority of the readership seems to want. So if you'd like to spread the word, you'd have my appreciation. :) Are you a member of the FB page I have for this story? If not, please come join me.
Hard Hugs
Dinia
Newly divorced Bella goes to Vegas for a work conference. On the advice of friends she lets her hair down and goes out for a night on the town. When she comes back from Vegas, she finds out that what happens in Vegas, doesn't always stay there.
Categories: Twilight, Canon Pairings, All Human
Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort,, Romance
Language: English
TWCS Romance Contest: None
Series: Stories I've Already read, Read & Enjoyed
Chapters: 30 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 143753 Read Count: 135034
Date: 18 Mar 2016 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
I freaking love this story, but I kinda want to bash their heads together. I would do it really gently though...honest. I'm glad to know I got some of it right, makes me feel better. I love that Tanya and Tori and James aren't scrappy people in this story....it's always nice to see the good side of them. Emmett is a piece of crap that gets stuck on your shoe.....I so want to see someone kick his arse. I look forward to watching them figure it out....I can't wait to see who figures it out first.